Traitor (20 page)

Ash had been out there for over an hour. Her black t-shirt was soaked and clung to her skin, while her hair stuck to the back of her neck where it was tied back in a ponytail. Stray strands were stuck to the sides of her face as the droplets weaved their way down her face like tears. Maybe there were tears intermingled. She looked as though she could cry, but I knew she wouldn’t. She shivered against her crossed arms as she rubbed them to try to generate heat.

We stood there like that under the massive umbrella I’d brought out for a while before she finally caved and took the steaming thermos of hot chocolate I’d offered her when I first arrived. It seemed to reignite her. She looked at me with those deep brown eyes that told me she was going to voice something I wouldn’t like. “I’m going to Neamar.”

I snorted and wrapped my arm around her waist to pull her close to me. She still shivered, but it subsided a little with me giving her my body heat. “I know you are.”

She seemed shocked at my response. “You do?”

“Well, yeah. Did you think I was going to try to stop you?”

“Isn’t that what my Protector is supposed to do?”

I pulled her close to me. She didn’t fight it, which was more than I could have asked for. I took one more step and pulled some of the blanket around me as well. We were close – sharing body heat – and the steam rose from the warmth of our bodies in the cool misty rain. I took a hold of her free hand in mine. “Ash, you’re right. I’m your Protector, but I’m also your friend. I know you better than anyone else. Only one thing would come from me trying to stop you – both of us getting hurt. It’d be from me dragging you back to the house, while you try to claw me to death.”

She laughed. “I’d beat you.”

“Maybe, but I doubt it.”

We stood there quietly for a while, and she put her head against my chest. Finally she took a deep breath, then looked up at me. “So, are you going to tell on me?”

“That should be a given. I’m gonna tell them I tried to stop you, but you were just too slippery,” I jested. “They’d totally believe that.”

She punched me, and started to shrug out of my embrace. “I should get going, then.”

I stopped her. Part of me wanted to keep her here for my own selfish reasons, to stay in this miserable rainy day for as long as possible, but the other part understood why she wanted to leave. “Can you just answer me one thing before you go?”

Her eyes closed the same way they always did when she didn’t want to answer a question. “Sure.”

“Are you mad at me for taking Liam’s role from him?”

Her answer was immediate. “No.”

“Why?”

Ash never looked at me when she had something of importance to say. She looked past me – through me, maybe – and sighed. She drug her feet around in the dirt and made goofy pictures. Anything to avoid answering the question. I prodded again. “Why are you happy I took Liam’s role?”

“Because he wasn’t right for the job. He’s too emotionally involved. He’s mortal. He isn’t meant for our world.”

Our world. She included me in it. That had to count for something. “You don’t think I’m emotionally involved?”

She finally looked up at me and smiled reluctantly. “You can separate things better. With Liam, everything is black and white. He doesn’t know how to work in the grey area.”

I took the hot chocolate from her and sat it down on the wet blacktop before taking both her hands in mine. “So is that what we are, then? Just some shade of grey on the color scales?”

She didn’t answer. Instead, we walked to the little church that sat on a hill not far away. It was Ash’s favorite spot. The place did have a magical feeling to it. We stopped and looked up at the church. The rain ran down the stained glass windows and made the images of people look like they were crying. I squeezed her hand. “Have you ever even stepped foot in there, or are we trespassing?”

“We’re definitely trespassing.” She shot me a sly smile.

“Well, if it’s open, let’s go look inside and get out of this rain.”

For some reason, the church was unlocked. We roamed around, expecting someone to throw us out, but no one did. In the main area, one side of the wall was adorned with stained glass windows. The ceiling was high and behind the pulpit was a massive cross. Another stained glass window reached from ceiling to floor. An empty choir loft was littered with music sheets and a couple guitars someone had left behind, along with a drum set. Candles lit the sanctuary in flickering, dancing light and cast long shadows that stretched across rows of pews.

Ashlyn walked up to the front and looked back at me for a split second. Then she bounded up the stairs and picked up one of the guitars that were sitting there. She strummed, picking up a tune of her own along the way. Her fingers moved deftly and delicately along the stringed instrument with ability I didn’t know she possessed. I watched in amazement. “You’re either the most amazing girl I’ve met, or the most frightening. I haven’t decided which one yet.”

She laughed, but never stopped the music that had filled the sanctuary. Even while she spoke, her fingers danced along the neck of the guitar and created a chugging melody that reminded me of the beat of a song we usually sang when it played on the radio. She smiled at me as she turned her focus back to the neck of the guitar and her strumming. A few wet stray hairs dropped down when she dropped her head back to the guitar. “I’m going to take that as a compliment.”

When the melody ended and she sat the guitar down, I walked up to meet her at the pulpit. I took her hands in mine again, making sure she knew she wasn’t getting away. “I have another question for you.”

She rolled her eyes. “What’s that?”

“Do you care about me?”

She became stern. “That’s a stupid question. You know I do.”

“That’s a stupid response. You know what I mean.”

No reply. It was time to pick up the pieces before this became more awkward. Lightning lit the sanctuary up and thunder chased the lightning. “I mean, you know how I feel about you. It won’t change whether I protect you or not. I was just wanting to know if you cared about me at all the way that I care about you. Not that it matters now. It’s more just because I need to know if there was ever a chance with you. You’re with Liam now and I respect that. Actually, I kind of had a ’come to Jesus’ moment about it earlier today. It’s just, I don’t know, I guess I want to know if I missed out on something that could have been good. I want to know if you cared at all about me before you fell in love with Liam.”

When she looked at me, her eyes glittered with tears. “I shouldn’t.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I shouldn’t care about you. I’m with Liam.”

“You can care about more than one person.”

She sighed and looked down. “Why’d you bring me in here, anyway?”

I dodged her question. “You haven’t answered my question. I’m not answering anything until you answer mine. Quid pro quo, Miss McVean.”

She squeezed my hands tight but then let them go. We stood there, just two people in the eye of a storm we didn’t create. Suddenly I realized this wasn’t the time for me to be pushing these questions on her. I wanted to apologize, but she responded before I could formulate an apology. “Fine. Then yes, I do. But that doesn’t mean anything will happen. Now why did you bring me in here?”

I grinned because that was a better answer than I’d been expecting, but at the same time I felt like an ass. I shouldn’t care. Shouldn’t get excited. I needed to be neutral and just be a friend. It was just impossible to do it. My words came too fast to stop them. “To show you where I’m going to marry you when you realize that you love me.”

I wanted to cover my mouth with duct tape and jump off a steep ledge. My face burned with embarrassment as I waited on the blow to my heart she would rightfully deliver.

She didn’t say a word. Instead, she looked down in embarrassment as well. I’d take it.

We walked out the back of the church and headed into the wooded area right behind it. Mud squelched under our shoes and the blanket I’d brought out along with the umbrella was next to useless now. I wrapped it tight in a wad and held it under the crook of my arm as I watched Ash walk further into the woods. I didn’t know if I wanted to follow or not. Didn’t know if she’d want me to.

I’d already pushed my limits too far. She needed to be in charge of the relationship, not me. I shouldn’t try to push something on her when she was with Liam.
She’s happy
, I reminded myself,
that’s what she deserves
.

Ashlyn looked at me once more and sighed. Her warm breath made a cloud as she exhaled out into the cool rain. I didn’t want to screw up any more than I already had, so I remained silent. When all this was done and over with, I hoped someone would find the little black box of my heart and learn from my mistakes.

She walked back to me, placed her hand on my cheek and held it there. “Don’t get me in too much trouble, okay? Try to make them understand a little bit.”

I smiled and placed my hand over hers against my skin. This would be the way I remembered her. Remembered us. “I’ll only inflict the amount of damage needed to make it believable. I promise.”

She nodded. Leaning in, she kissed my cheek. It set me on fire for that stolen moment that her lips lingered there. As she closed her eyes, I knew what was coming next, so I looked away. When I looked at her again, she was a Changeling. I forced myself to joke. It was the only line of defense I had against the thrum of pain in my chest. “You’re so gross this way. It does wonders for your nose, though.”

She laughed, but it wasn’t her own. It was the Changeling cackle, which was haunting. Wrong. Not Ashlyn. I wanted to hear Ashlyn’s laugh again. She looked toward the woods. “I’ll be back soon. If I’m not back in three days…”

“Do what? No one else can get to you.”

“Tess can. She just can’t shift. But only do that as a last resort. Give me three days, okay?”

I nodded. “Two. That’s it. Then we’re going all Rambo on you and getting you out.”

Laughing once more, she pulled me down to her level and gave me a hug. “That’s why I love you, Reese. You’re a great friend.”

She turned to go, but then stopped. My heart skipped a beat. Maybe she’d come to her senses? Maybe she’d realized she should stay here and out of the direct line of fire.

She looked over her shoulder back at me, her expression somber and thoughtful. “For the record, I never said I was happy you took Liam’s role, just that I wasn’t mad you did it. There’s a difference. I appreciate you saving him from what was probably certain death. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost him.”

“What if you lost me?” I asked.

“Don’t make me find out, Reese Williams.”

With that, she turned on a dime and sped into the woods. My grey angel had gone back to hell.

“Y
OU LET HER
do WHAT?” Emily roared as I explained what transpired.

“Well, what was I supposed to do, latch onto her legs and never let go? You know Ash is going to do what she wants. I think someone should be happy that she was willing to put a time limit on the adventure for me. Count your blessings!”

Emily was murderous. I’d never seen her as angry as she was right now. Tess lurked in the corner as she tried to hide a smile. When Emily turned away, Tess winked at me. I knew she approved of my tactic, but it was probably because she was still thrilled that Ashlyn brought back Aiden. There wasn’t much that could dampen Tess’s spirits right now. Still, I threw her a thumbs up when Memaw’s back was turned. Might as well try stay in good graces with someone.

Memaw muttered under her breath as she left the room, but I definitely caught something along the lines of, “If you weren’t immortal, you’d be dead.” Memaw was even more dramatic now that she wasn’t a million years old all the time.

Everyone else was quiet. The guys left to roam the town, and Mrs. McVean was out getting groceries with Mom. We were all at my house, spilling over the couches, chairs, and card table Mom had set up. Empty bags of snack-sized chips and pretzels were stranded on the coffee table in the middle of the living room, along with half-drank SOLO cups of Mountain Dew, Coke, and Dr. Pepper. A deck of cards lay pell-mell with the rest of the snacks. I don’t think there was a food or beverage that we didn’t have in the house with so many people all having different preferences.

Aiden looked at me sternly. Even though he wasn’t that old, his face seemed to prove he had weathered much more than I could ever experience. He gave me a menacing look to go with the attempted muscle flexing scare tactics. Like I was going to be afraid of him. Riiight. His demeanor dripped with censure. If he wanted me to apologize for allowing Ashlyn to leave, it wasn’t going to happen. When he finally spoke, it confirmed my suspicion. “Well, if you think it was such a great idea, you need to call Liam and let him know his girlfriend is gone…again.”

His tone made it clear he disapproved of our relationship. The look I gave him made it clear I didn’t care. “Sure, whatever.”

I pulled out my phone and dialed Liam’s international number. Dad was going to kill me when he saw the bill. Liam picked up on the third ring. “Hello?”

“Uh hey, Liam. It’s Reese.”

There was silence on the line and static from the distance between us. Finally, he responded. “What’s wrong with Ashlyn?”

Jumping to conclusions, as always. Too bad it was on point today. I grunted. “Uh, well, nothing really. Today. That I know of. Right now.”

His voice was incredulous. “That you know of? Right now?”

“Well, here’s the thing. Ash went back to Neamar. You know, to get MaKenna.”

Once again, silence. A second later, there was a crash. He must have broken something. “You better get her back in one piece or so help me God – “

I didn’t even think. “Or what, Liam? What are you going to do? The exact same nothing you’ve done from the beginning?”

“You bloody well know that I’ll kill you if she gets hurt.”

“Sorry, bud, but you can’t. Immortal, remember?”

“Ask Emily if you’re immortal. She’s met up with a worm blade. Maybe you’ll meet one, too.”