Trainwreck (17 page)

Chapter 31

Sadie ran her fingers through her hair, trying not to let Natasha catch her unless she wanted another lecture. It was the night of homecoming, and she and Natasha were at Natasha's house getting ready for the event. Asher had agreed to take Sadie – surprisingly, to the young woman – and had even gone so far as to buy the tickets himself. Asher wanted to show Sadie that despite what people thought of him, he really was a decent guy and hoped that she appreciated him being her boyfriend. Sadie knew this, of course, and she really did appreciate this uncharacteristic gesture – or, as Asher liked to constantly remind her, a sacrifice on his part, to which Sadie retorted that because she had to wear heels for four hours, the sacrifice was hers – but she hoped Asher wouldn't complain for the duration of the night. She really didn't think he would; he had been teasing her about it, but he never actually made Sadie feel as though he didn't want to be with her, even at a school dance.

However, Asher had been missing for the past week and hadn't called Sadie. She didn't want to think about what might have happened between Asher and his father. In fact, she tried to keep things light – maybe he was just ditching class like he usually did.
Then homecoming night came around and he still hadn't called her. She tried to keep her thoughts upbeat, rationalizing that this was just how Asher was and his spontaneity was one of the reasons she was drawn to him in the first place. Factor in the fact that he was good looking, funny, bright, caring, a rebel, and a mystery all rolled into one, Sadie was a lucky girl.

But something inside of her stomach churned with nervousness and it had nothing to do with the prospect of Asher seeing her in a dress. There was something wrong, she just didn't know what it was and she didn't like feeling things that she couldn't explain. Her eyes flickered over to the clock adorning Natasha's wall; he was supposed to be here in a half an hour. Knowing him, he'd probably show up fifteen minutes late – if he was coming at all.

Not that Asher would ever ditch her without at least calling her first. Sadie and Asher had been together for a few weeks, but Sadie trusted him to tell her when things were bothering him on his time, however long that might be. And more than anything, he believed that he would never leave her hanging, especially when she knew just how important this night was to her.

She sighed a breath through her nose, trying to keep her composure. Her hands itched to go back up and drag through the strands in order to relieve her beating heart of the majority of misery.
He has to be all right
, she tried to rationalize.
You haven't heard from him Sadie, which means that it can't be too bad. No news is good news, right?

Sadie tilted her head and shifted her attention to the full-length mirror, deciding to focus on her dress that she had specifically bought for the evening. It was silly, but she hoped that it would get her mind off of Asher. She started with the hair; Natasha did it because Natasha was an expert in anything feminine. The blonde strands were pulled up into a messy bun, stylish but carefree, and quite comfortable. This only enhanced the makeup that highlighted her cheeks, her eyes, her lips. Natasha was always on Sadie's case about wearing her hair up more often, but Sadie liked the safety blanket it provided her when needed. But this was a special occasion, and there were always exceptions to rules.

The dress itself fit Sadie's frame beautifully. Her mother was with her when she bought it though it took Ellen some convincing because it dipped low in the front. However, Sadie countered that it was a dance, and some cleavage was acceptable on such an occasion, and after another moment, Ellen agreed. It was a silver – although platinum was how Sadie described it – cocktail dress. The dress itself was sleeveless, but the material that encased her shoulders was tanked – squared. The neckline was v-necked, and there was a band below the bodice. The length was somewhat modest, ending just below mid thigh. On her feet was a pair matching silver heels.

Okay, Sadie knew that it sounded beyond silly, but she couldn't wait for Asher to see it on her. She loved it when he looked at her as though she was a woman, something to be desired. It didn't matter if every breathing male did that; she was only concerned about Asher's eyes.

"Hey," Natasha murmured, walking into her room. "Anthony's almost here. Have you talked to Asher?"

Sadie opened her mouth to respond, but for some reason, couldn't formulate any words, so she shut her lips and shook her head. "I'm sure he'll be here," she said after a moment, avoiding Natasha's almond eyes, knowing her friend could read her better than anybody she knew. "You know how Asher is. He's always leaving things last minute, disappears and then reappears..." She let her voice trail off, not needing to go into details further.

"And you're sure that he knows you're here?" Natasha asked, deciding to go along with Sadie's hopefulness. "That you're at my house rather than yours?"

"Yup," Sadie said, wishing she could say no. "We talked about it last week, a couple of days before he stopped showing up." She forced a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "But he'll be here. I know he will be."

"I bet he wishes he were here right now, Sadie," Natasha murmured, placing her hand gently on Sadie's bare shoulder, squeezing it in reassurance. "You look absolutely stunning."

Sadie rolled her eyes but a genuine, soft smile touched her features before she glanced up at Natasha. "Enough about me, Tash," she said. "Look at you. You're gorgeous. I bet Anthony can't wait to see you. Tell me again how you guys hooked up for this shindig? I mean, I knew you were kind of interested in him, and I remember telling you he asked about you that one time... Did you ask him or did he ask you?"

"No," Natasha said, giggling as her face turned red. "I mean, Sadie, you know me. I can't go up to a guy I barely know and ask him out."

"Then how did it happen?" Sadie asked, reveling in the fact that she didn't have to think about Asher at this moment.

"Okay, I guess he talked to one of the security guards or something because I think he somehow slipped on empty cigarette box into my bag, right?" Natasha began, feeling giddy just thinking about it. "Okay, so I'm in Spanish and the security guard, Juan, you know him right? Well, he comes in and asks to speak to me, and, of course, I'm freaking out because I didn't do anything but you know how even though you didn't do something, you still think that maybe you did? Anyway, so he told me to grab my bag with me and he brought me next to the front office, and he told me he suspected of me bringing cigarettes on campus and that he was going to search my bag. Well, you know me so I started getting angry, and then he found the box! So I'm freaking out and telling him they're not mine, and he handed me the box and told me to open it. At first, I wasn't going to, but he kept insisting so I do it. But there's no cigarette, there's just a rolled up piece of paper. So I grab the paper and read it; it asks me to homecoming. But I'm like, 'Juan, you can't do this. That's totally against the rules.' And he starts laughing and points behind him, and there's Anthony, holding a bouquet of flowers and he asks me himself and obviously I said yes..."

"That is so –" Before Sadie could finish her sentence, the doorbell rang, causing Natasha to straighten.

"Oh my God, Sadie," she said, her voice suddenly nervous. "Do I look okay? Oh my God, what if he doesn't like me and this just goes horribly wrong and –"

"Natasha," Sadie said, cutting her friend off and placing both hands on Natasha's shoulders. "He came. He's waiting to see you. Positive thinking, remember? How many times must I remind you? You're going to have so much fun tonight, and who knows? Maybe the two of you will fall in love and..." She let her voice trail off as a smile eclipsed her face.

"Here, I'll answer the door, but we'll wait with you until Asher shows up, okay?" she murmured, trying to conserve her anticipation.

"No, no," Sadie said, shaking her head and forcing another smile. "I'm going to stay here. You go and have fun. Please? I kind of want to be alone anyway, and I know that you want to go. It's okay, Natasha. I promise."

"If you're sure," Natasha said after a long moment. "Call me if he doesn't show, okay? And I'll be right back here."

Sadie watched with a smile as Natasha left. Asher would come soon. He had to.

Chapter 32

Sadie Brown was finally alone. She wasn't sure if what she had told Natasha was true, if she really wanted to be alone. But she wanted to be able to think, wanted to be able to cry by herself if Asher wasn't going to show up. She had honestly believed that he wouldn't stand her up, especially when he knew just how important homecoming was to her. Would he have bought the tickets if he was planning on leaving her hanging? But then maybe something had come up. Maybe he was hurt again. Maybe his father...

But no. She didn't want to think about that. Tonight was supposed to be one of the happiest moments of her life up until prom, graduation, her marriage day, plus having the four kids she wanted. And homecoming was going to be special for both she and Asher because it would be their first official date where they would have to dress up, dance, hold each other...

Her eyes glanced over at the clock once more. When had Natasha left? It couldn't have been very long ago. Just the thought of her friend being with Anthony caused her to smile. If anyone deserved to be happy when it came to romance and boys, it was Natasha. Sure, she was slightly rough around the edges and she spoke her mind, but she was the sweetest person ever, and Sadie's best friend. And Anthony? Sadie didn't know too much about him, but he seemed like a genuine person, and he was adorable in a geeky way, which, despite contrary belief, actually worked for him rather than against him. The two were an odd couple, but oddly enough, those types always managed to survive.

And she and Asher? Who knew?

Sadie reached up and this time decided to run her fingers through her hair, messy bun or not. She forced herself to her feet and began to pace back and forth because her nervous energy desperately needed an outlet and this was how she was going to get rid of it. Somehow, every tick of the clock matched with the beat of her heart, and those tumbling butterflies crashed into stomach full force that it was hard to decipher just what she was feeling anymore.

What about your phone, Sadie?
a voice inside of her head asked.
Maybe he left you a message and you just didn't hear it while you were getting ready?

Sadie paused in mid step and spun around on the heel of her shoe in the direction of a purse that matched her silver dress. She reached into it and pulled out her cheap phone, but sadly, nothing lit up. There were no missed calls, no new voicemails, and no texts. If Asher was going to get in contact with her, he hadn't done so yet.

Homecoming was the only dance located at University's campus, so it wasn't too far away. It was the least formal of all the dances, so lots of times kids showed up late and the dresses weren't too over the top. Guys wore suits rather than tuxedos, and some of the ultra-slackers actually wore dark jeans rather than slacks. Sadie wondered what Asher would be wearing. More so than that, Sadie wondered where Asher was. The dance was going to start in ten minutes, and she really did want to spend the whole time dancing...

She paused her thoughts and wondered for a moment if she should go to his house and see if he was okay. However, even before she entertained the idea, Sadie realized that she couldn't. Asher had made her promise that unless he invited her to his house, she wouldn't go over there, and she agreed. Though she wanted to, and there were so many ways to justify breaking this particular promise, she forced herself to remain where she was. Sadie wouldn't break a promise that was so important to him despite the logic that she should. So, for the moment, she would have to wait, despite her fluttering stomach, her incessant heartbeat, and her increasing worry.

It was all about faith and trust, wasn't it? And maybe love was a mixture of the two.

Another five minutes passed, and Sadie swore that due to her pacing, she created some kind of rut in Natasha's room. Oh well. If anyone was going to understand, it would be Natasha.

At that moment, the doorbell rang. Everything in Sadie froze, and her heart jumped into her throat. It took a moment before she collected herself together and slowly walked over to the front door. She pressed up on her toes to look out the peephole, and her heart clenched. There was Asher, standing there, waiting. He had come. She knew he would.

However, upon opening the door, Sadie realized he wasn't dressed up for homecoming. In fact, there was a suitcase by his combat boot, and, if anything, he looked like he was going somewhere. His hair fell into his face, as usual, and he was wearing a long-sleeved red and black plaid shirt, grey Dickies pants, and a long-sleeved white shirt underneath. There was a brown trench coat on top of the suitcase, and he was wearing black, leather fingerless gloves. Around his neck was his chain with her ring, still there, resting over his heart.

"Wow," he breathed through his slightly raspy voice as his warm brown eyes took in Sadie's attire. When they finally locked into her own eyes, he murmured, "You're beautiful."

Sadie felt herself flush, temporarily forgetting the fact that if they didn't get a move on, they would be late. Asher always had the knack to make her forget the world around her. She stepped aside, allowing him entrance to the house. She hoped that maybe what he was planning on wearing would be in the suitcase; sure, it was weird for him not to be dressed now, but then again, Asher had always been a little off kilter, and that was one of the many, many reasons why Sadie adored him.

"You do know you're a little informal for a dance, right?" she teased as she closed the door behind him. Upon looking at him, however, Sadie realized that he wasn't going to be changing into a suit. In fact, from what Sadie's gut was telling her, he wasn't going to be going to homecoming altogether.

Asher's guilt flashed plainly in his eyes, and he took a beat to gather his thoughts. Seeing Sadie in front of him, looking the way she did, made him want to abandon his plans and accompany her to the dance, despite his hatred toward any school-related activities. Hell, he'd take her to the moon and back if he could.

"I can't go," he told her softly, leading her over to the nearby couch where the two could sit down together.

"Oh." Sadie tried to force the tears that littered her eyes back by glancing upward, but even though they weren't on the verge of falling, they had yet to disappear. Her first instinct was to ask why he would do something like this, why couldn't he call, why would he not say anything, but she swallowed her hurt and anger. By doing that, though, she really had nothing to say, and so, she decided to say nothing. Instead, she watched as Asher's fingers traced mindless patterns on her bare knee. She couldn't feel him. She was numb.

"I want to though," he said quickly. "I just can't." He took another moment to think about what he was going to say. He had never been good with words – that had always been Sadie's strength, but he knew she deserved to hear the truth from his mouth. "I'm leaving."

"What?" Sadie asked sharply, more so than she had originally intended. "Where?"

"Away," he murmured. "To be honest, I have no idea, but I can't stay here anymore. You know how it is at my home, and I thought I could handle it, but..." He glanced away, not entirely sure if he should press on. Sadie reached out and covered the hand on her knee with her own, giving Asher the strength he didn't realize he needed. "My dad, you know how he is. It's not usually a big deal, but this time... This time, he threatened my life, Sadie. You have to know I don't want to leave, but I can't stay there anymore, not when I have you I want to live for." He sighed through his nose. "And I can't go to homecoming because I have a bus to catch, but I had to see you before I left."

Sadie felt her heart shatter at that moment, and the worst part was that it wasn't even his fault. She couldn't yell at him, couldn't be mad at him. He was making a decision based on what he thought was right, and she would support him. This time, the tears flowed freely.

"I'm sorry," she murmured when she started to cry. Sadie really didn't want to make Asher feel even worse than he already did. "Just, ignore me." She gestured at her tears and tried to prevent them from falling, but that feat at the moment was impossible.

Asher reached out to cup Sadie's cheek with his palm and smiled at her, gently wiping away her tears. "I couldn't ignore you if I tried," he told her, grinning, and leaned in to place a kiss on her lips.

"Come back to me," Sadie pleaded when they broke apart.

He smiled again as he stood and nodded. "Always," he promised, before quickly placing a chaste kiss on her lips, and with one look back, he headed out the door.

Sadie watched him go, wanting more than anything to call him back, but knowing she couldn't. She had to let him go.