Trainwreck (12 page)

Chapter 21

Sadie and Natasha could tell which house was holding the party due to the stereotypical blaring music that sent vibrations through the walls, plastic cups littering the lawn, and the kids making out or engaging in risky behavior on the porch. Sadie and Natasha glanced over at each other, mirroring looks on both of their faces. Sadie pulled into a vacant parking place a few houses away and decided that they should try the place out. She felt her stomach clench as she walked to the house, trying to prepare for what she might or might not see. Would Asher even be here? She had no idea.

They opened the door, finding it unlocked. Not like the owner cared or anything. It was a safe neighborhood and they saw no harm in leaving the door unlocked. The music assaulted their ears, and kids were shouting over it, trying to converse. Sadie had no idea as to why people played such loud music at parties; there was no way people could talk over it and it got really old really fast shouting as means of talking.

The air smelled heavily of pot and spilled alcohol, but Sadie couldn't tell if it was just beer or if it was liquor. Hell, it might have been a mixture of both. She wasn't familiar enough with alcohol to actually decipher between the two. Her eyes flitted around, trying to spot people she knew, and when she couldn't, she felt her stomach churn. This was the right party, wasn't it? She glanced over at Natasha who seemed to be as bored with this as she was, and upon seeing that, Sadie felt glad that she had brought her friend along.

They walked over to the kitchen to see tons of kids their age, cramming chips down their mouth, pouring alcohol in plastic cups, and making out on the sink. Sadie hated to admit it, but her sharp eyes double-checked each couple in order to try and figure out whether or not Asher was one half of them. Though it helped to see that he didn't appear to be there, her heart still wasn't satisfied, so she continued to prepare herself for the worst.

"Let's check upstairs," Natasha called before tilting her head over in the direction of the staircase.

Sadie nodded in agreement.

"Okay, but I think we should go after that," she called back. "I'm already starting to get a headache."

Sadie followed Natasha up the stairs, over a couple of kids who had passed out on them, and before they knew it, both of had reached the top. Oddly enough, the upstairs was much quieter than the downstairs, and there were fewer people. Sadie looked at the row of closed doors that she assumed were bedrooms, and idly wondered if Asher and Kristen were occupying one of these. God, she hoped not. If she walked in on them doing
that
, then there would be no hope for them as a couple, and it would take a while for her to get over it.

But she would. If Sadie was anything, she was strong. However, she chose not go barging in the rooms, and when her eyes scanned the rest of the environment and found that he wasn't up there, she was satisfied enough to head back down the stairs.

"Natasha?" someone called from the living room.

"Bertha?" Natasha called back. "Oh my gosh, I haven't seen you in forever. How's college?" Bertha had been a friend of Natasha's, one grade older than she was. She glanced over at Sadie. "I'll be right back, okay? I promise I'm not going to ditch you."

Sadie nodded but decided against verbally responding. Parties, in general, made her feel uncomfortable, and being alone at one made her feel even worse. She crossed her arms over her chest and tried to drown out the thumping music with her thoughts. Before she could, however, somebody pinched her side. She glanced over and found Edward standing there with Tyler, both of whom seemed surprised to actually see her there.

"Oh my God!" Edward exclaimed, his blue eyes widening in surprise at Sadie. "I can
not
believe you showed up to this thing, Sadie. You never show up to parties."

"Yeah," Tyler agreed, though it wasn't likely he really knew Sadie didn't like parties. "I asked you to come, but you said your mother probably wouldn't let you out of the house...?" He let his voice trail off into what sounded like a question that he probably expected Sadie to answer.

Sadie shrugged, glancing around the room, trying to catch a familiar head of hair somewhere. "I managed to talk her into it," she said with a tight smile. It would seem that the hours of preening and primping with Natasha was for naught. Oh well...

"That's wicked awesome," Tyler said appraisingly, shooting her a charming smile. "So, since you're here, can I get you a beer or something to drink?"

Edward laughed. "Sorry, buddy," Edward said, clapping Tyler on the back. "Sadie here is straight-edge. She doesn't smoke, she doesn't get high, and she definitely doesn't drink."

"Well, she doesn't have to drink beer," Tyler said, playfully defensive. His eyes shifted back over to Sadie and he smiled at her again. "Would you like a water then? Maybe some soda or something?"

Sadie shook her head. "I'm actually planning to leave soon," she replied honestly, though she was touched at Tyler's sentiment. "But thank you. That’s really sweet."

"Oh, Sadie!" Edward said, his voice dripping with disappointment. "You can't be leaving now! You just got here!  Where's the fun in coming to a party only to leave minutes after getting here, hmm?"

Sadie shrugged her shoulders, an amused smile on her face, knowing exactly what she was going to say and knowing exactly how the two boys in front of her would react. "I don't know," she said. "I just think parties are kind of... Oh, what's the word? Lame?"

"What?" Tyler asked, completely baffled at her statement.

Edward rolled his eyes as though he knew Sadie was going to say something like this. "Please don't get her started, Tyler," he said, shaking his head. "She's going to give you a long list of why parties are lame, such as the obvious reasons of getting high, getting drunk, and having sex."

"And you don't do any of those things?" Tyler asked Sadie, looking at her with awe and maybe even slight surprise. Every high school kid did at least one of those things. It was a rarity to find one that abstained from all three.

"You say it like it's the most surprising thing in the world," Sadie said with a laugh. "It's not that weird, and surprisingly enough, I'm not the only person who's like this. But don't worry. I'm not going to judge you if you're into that kind of stuff." She gave them a grin that showed she was teasing them, and from the corner of her eyes, she caught Natasha making her way towards her. "Anyway guys, I have to go, but it was really nice seeing you here." She glanced around the cramped environment she was in a shook her head, still not quite believing she actually showed up here and went to meet Natasha.

"Ready?" Sadie asked when she stood in front of her friend.

Natasha nodded. "Sorry I ditched you for a few moments," she said and cocked her lips into a grin. "But I see that you weren't too lonely with the company..." She let her voice trail off, her eyes catching something in the distance, and her eyes narrowing slightly at it.

"What?" Sadie asked, still smiling but sounding unsure. She turned in hopes to catch what it was that her friend was seeing. "What is it?"

Upon finding just what it was her friend was looking at caused her entire heart to stop. Behind them, leaning on the wall adjacent to the door, was Asher, but his lips were attached to the girl's underneath him and the two seemed to be going at it. Sadie's mouth dropped. How could - What was - Why was this happening? Were all the signs she had read were wrong? Her eyes filled with tears that she stubbornly refused to let fall, and for a moment, she stood there, staring, in shock.

"Let's go, Sadie," Natasha said gently, but Asher seemed to have heard her because he stopped and turned, looking directly into her eyes.

For a short second, Sadie could have sworn there was regret laced within his chocolate colored orbs, but he blinked and it went away. Surely he could see how she was affected by his heartless actions. Well, Sadie got what she wanted to know. And that was why she came here, wasn't it? Sure, she didn't expect it to hurt as much as it did, but then again, maybe she should have. Maybe she should have prepared herself for something like this, even though she had tried moments ago.

Finally, Sadie turned and started to follow Natasha out the door, completely unaware that Asher was following and prepared to confront her right outside.

Chapter 22

Asher wasn't sure why he was following her out the door, if he was being honest. He had just seen the desolate look on her face and - No, he didn't want to think about that right now. Asher was all about confrontation in these sorts of situations. He knew that what he did wasn't wrong; they weren't dating which meant he was free to make out with whoever he wanted. The motives behind what he had done were his and his alone. It was no one's business, and... Well, again, he didn't want to think about it.

"Hey," he called after her before reaching out and grabbing Sadie's wrist. He didn't pull on it too hard, but enough so that she would stop and turn around so she would regard him. Sadie was glaring at him, and for a moment, Asher just stood there, unsure of what to do or say, fingers coiled around her wrist. She didn't pull away from him, which was probably a good sign, but as he stood staring at her, Asher wondered for a moment what he was doing.

"What do you want?" Sadie asked through gritted teeth, her green eyes flashing dangerously as they narrowed into his. She was too caught up to realize he was still holding onto her, and her emotions sent her heart in a tizzy, causing it to beat erratically. She needed to get out of there, to have time to get over Asher because it was quite obvious now that he had no interest in her.

Immediately, Asher felt himself get defensive at Sadie's question, and his own eyes began to narrow. "What do I want?" Asher asked sharply. "You're the one who showed up at the party."

"Yeah, the party that I told you about in the first place," Sadie snapped. She could see Natasha standing behind her slightly, unsure of what to do. Sadie was just glad Natasha was there; she could feel herself get stronger just by her friend's presence. "And all of a sudden you're asking Kristen to go with you. Right in front of me."

"You're the one who agreed to go with the new guy!" Asher exclaimed. "Or that's what you told me at least."

"I said I would consider it," Sadie snapped. "I said I might consider it. But you know what? In all honesty, I told him I didn't want to go. I told him my mother probably wouldn't let me out of the house after getting another detention. I wasn't planning on going at all until I saw you ask Kristen to this party in front of me." Sadie glanced up at the sky, a look of disbelief on her face. "I mean, some random chick is sitting on your lap and you're not even going to do anything about it? I thought..." She let her voice trail off before clenching her jaw together and looking at the grass beneath her feet. Remarkably, her tears had yet to fall.

What Sadie had told him caught Asher off guard, and for a moment, he opened his mouth as though to respond before shutting it and swallowing. "Yeah?" he asked, his voice softer now, but just as scathing. He had finally dropped her wrist, but he took a step towards her so the curious kids decorating the outside lawn could not overhear. "Well, you thought wrong Sadie. I can ask anyone out. It's like you said. We're not boyfriend- girlfriend. I can do whatever I want."

Sadie looked as though she was about to argue, but she stopped herself knowing that she couldn't. He was right. She had said all of those things before, when Asher wanted to know what had happened between her and Tyler. But now it would seem that the roles were reversed, and he was using everything she had said to him against her.

"And you know what?" Asher asked, arching a brow as he took yet another step towards her. "It's completely ridiculous for you just to assume that we would ever be together. There is no way we would work out. You're a good girl, princess. It's not likely you would stick around with me for very long. And me? I'm a tramp. I'm not going to stay focused on a girl like you. Whatever notions you have of us being together, get it out of your head because it's not going to happen. And for you to even
think
that it will? Well, that's just a waste of your time. So stop bothering me and stop pretending that all of a sudden, you care because I know you don't. I sure as hell don't care about who you do or don't screw."

Asher inwardly winced at the words that had fallen out of his mouth, knowing that they were the wrong choice of vocabulary with what he wanted to try and convey. He clenched his jaw, glancing at his combat boots, refusing to say anything else because he knew that if he did, it too would come out wrong. He hadn't meant to sound so callous, especially when... when what he was saying wasn't true. He wanted nothing more - No, he wouldn't –
couldn't
– think about that.

What Asher had said caused the color to drain from Sadie's face. A tear slipped down her cheek and she hastily wiped it away. "Fine," she said. At first, Asher didn't think she had actually spoken due to the softness of her voice. "Fine." She picked her head up and forced herself to lock eyes with the boy standing in front of her before nodding once. She refused to say anything else, but it was obvious that the message he wanted to convey had gotten through to her and she wouldn't be bothering him again.

With that, she turned and headed over to Natasha. Sadie didn't have to say anything to Natasha for Natasha to understand that not everything had gone well. In the silence, Natasha wrapped her arm around Sadie's shoulder and the two began heading to the car that had been parked a couple of blocks away.

Asher watched the two retreating figure with an enigmatic expression written on his face. He reached up and began to finger the now-familiar ring hanging from a chain around his neck as he continued to stare after them, despite the fact that they had disappeared into the darkness.

Everything he had told Sadie was a lie, but it was what he had to say in order for him to hurt her to the point where she didn't want to be with him anymore. The prospect itself sounded cruel, and it was. But he knew that they wouldn't work out. Not because she was biased on her end, but because he knew that he would never be good enough for her, but instead of actually admitting that, he told her some bogus lie. He knew that if she got to know him, that if he allowed her into his world, she would find more flaws than perfections and would end up breaking up with him. He couldn't introduce her to his family; they were completely screwed up, and they were one of the reasons Sadie would definitely not want to be with him.

It was like he had said; he was a tramp. He was used to being alone, and he didn't mind being alone. Asher liked the fact that he had different opportunities to be with different girls, but the game was always the same. They would fool around but nothing would ever be permanent. That was how he wanted it.

But then Sadie came into his life and everything he had felt suddenly changed or it disappeared completely. When he had first laid eyes upon her during their first Saturday school together, he knew that she was different, but there was no way he could ever have imagined that he would feel this strongly about anybody, let alone her.

There was definitely a part of him that wanted nothing more than to shrug his problems off of his shoulders and try to have a normal relationship with her. But what was normal? Asher had never actually been a boyfriend before, and he knew that with his track record, he would screw that up. No. He wasn't going to take a chance on a relationship between him and Sadie no matter how badly he wanted to. It was better that he break her heart than she break his. Maybe this way she would learn a lesson and end up being like him; unsure about relationships in general.

But hat wasn't his intention at all.


Just admit it, Asher
, an unfamiliar voice whispered through his thoughts.
You said all of those nasty things to Sadie because you're afraid that she won't like you once she figures out who you really are.

Asher didn't respond to the voice because he didn't have to. It was true. No matter how much he wanted Sadie in his life, he was too scared to take a chance because it probably wouldn't last anyway.

With that, he shoved his hands in his pockets and started to head back to his home, leaving Kristen at the party, completely unaware of his departure.