Trading Paint (Racing on the Edge) (34 page)

I thought about Sway a lot that night. This was exactly why I kept Sway at a distance was because I was afraid of something like this happening to us.

We had women pushed upon us out here after races and at bars. They knew who we were and tested our self-control. If I was with Sway physically, which was appealing to me, what happens if I had a lapse in judgment like Justin did? I couldn’t hurt her like that, ever. Besides, I had no idea if she even felt that way. Sure our friendship worked and when I touched and kissed her she responded but so did I when other women touched me. That didn’t mean I had feelings for them that just meant I was attracted physically to them.

There was a fine line and I wasn’t ready to cross it yet.

        By the time July had rolled around, we settled into a routine with the new addition to our traveling team, Lane. It was tough for Alley to still travel so she stayed in Mooresville with my mom for about a month and then started again.

Lane was a sport and loved the sound of the cars. My sprint car revving lulled him to sleep on more than one occasion. It was cool having him around and I took pride in knowing that his first smile was a product of me. I was laughing at something Ryder did while holding Lane for Alley and he smiled when I laughed. Like I said, Lane was pretty cool and not at all what I thought he was going to be like, until he puked on me.

I was not okay with that.

By August Sway was on summer break and traveled around with us again which meant I was back to normal and aggressive on the track. Not that I wasn’t when she’s was around but I fought harder for position at times and didn’t take shit from anyone. I wouldn’t say that was because of Sway by any means, but I seemed to find myself when she was around and remembered why I was racing in the first place.

I was still racing with the USAC divisions but I was making every Outlaw race I could and running roughshod through it.

I wasn’t known for being nice on the
track,
I knew that, as did the handful of other drivers I’d raced with all these years. I was ornery, surly and would call anyone out on their bullshit passes or unjustified hits. I also wasn’t afraid to back it up if needed. So far this year, I had brawled with track owners and officials over rules, shoved photographers, and sparred with a few hometown favorites. I had a temper. What can I
say.

But most of all, I wasn’t about to be pushed around. I didn’t risk everything to just be just an average driver. I risked it all to be the best and that’s what I was becoming, temper or not.

That temper got me in my fair share of wrecks that summer as well, most of which I walked away from but there were a few I either crawled or stumbled away from.

At Eldora in the middle of September while racing a Silver crown car, I took a few flips on the back stretch coming out of turn two and landed on the guardrail upside down. I felt that one.

When they flipped me back over I was able to get out. It was apparent after a few steps that I was going to need to get checked out. I could barely put one foot in front of the other. I waved to the crowd when they started cheering but that’s about all I was able to do. Once inside the infield care center they had set up I collapsed.

My knees were sore and bruised from the impact; all the blood vessels in my face had broken and my arms and legs had no many bruises on them you’d think someone beat me with a baseball bat. I was a mess. I ended up spending the night in the hospital with a broken rib and a concussion on top of all that bruising.

I called Sway from the hospital that night to tell her what happened. I hoped they hadn’t announced it on the news or anything. She freaked out and told me she was skipping classes for a week to come see me but I wouldn’t let her. She just needed to finish college so I could have my friend back.

I knew where the failure went wrong. It was a combination of everything and to rebuild I had to do it right. Right meant focusing on what was important, racing, and Sway focusing on what was important for her, school. Later we could figure out where we stood. I hoped.

That season it seemed I wasn’t the only one doing rough driving. Justin and Tyler were making themselves known as well for being hotheads. Justin punched a USAC official after a race in Lernerville and Tyler sent a kid to the hospital when the kid pushed him.

You don’t push the beasts from the east and just walk away. There was a reason they were called the fire breathing beasts from the east, even I knew that.

The veteran drivers weren’t pleased with us and they had every right not to be but I
understood
them. Here these kids were coming into the divisions they had once been winning in and now all of a sudden they weren’t, the kids were.

Jimi found humor in it and joked that he was going to retire but other drivers, like Hank Feldman, didn’t like it. Hank had been racing in the series as long as my dad but he was not about to let the kids over run him.

I understood why Hank raced that way. He was a veteran driver but no one realizes the pressures put upon these guys to race, but not only race, to win. The longer they go without a win and shoddy performances, the harder it is for them. I knew why he raced that way and respected him and the other veterans. They made this sport what it is today and they deserved respect in my mind so that’s how I raced them. I raced them as if they were
all my
dad and I’d never rough up my own dad on the track for the simple fact that I feared him out there. If there was one driver who could fool you, it was him.

        Sway took another break in October for Thanksgiving and Christmas so this meant she was there for the last few races of the season.

Having Sway back around also meant the women I usually found myself giving into, didn’t exist. I had all eyes on Sway these days and that scared the shit out of me after what happened to Justin and Ami. It didn’t stop us from kissing and touching but I kept it innocent as did she.

She seemed different, hesitant even. I wondered if she found someone at times but then again I thought she’d tell me. Tommy kept tabs on her and said she only hung out with girls at school that he could see. Tommy also took a break but was finishing his degree in Engineering. He wanted to continue working on my cars but also felt he needed to get the education to back it up. It made me feel better to know that Tommy was there with her and was ensuring the scum bags stayed away.

When she was here with me on the road, it was like she never left. We were back to our usual selves, flirting, touching, and teasing each other. That’s what I enjoyed most about her company. I could be myself for one but it was just easy. Even after months of separation, it was as though we’d never been apart.

Slowly my engine was rebuilt and now was time for maintaining it. Proper maintenance was essential. What maintains the life of your engine?

Proper maintenance and lubrication.
It took me a long time to discover the cause to the failure, an entire racing season to be exact but it was me.

I let it happen and damn sure wasn’t about to let it happen again.

16.
      
Tether – Jameson

Tether – This is a braided Kevlar double strap that is bolted to the wheel on one end of the chassis as well as on the other end which keeps the wheel attached to the chassis in case of an accident.

With a handful of races remaining in the 2000 season, we found ourselves in Williams Grove toward the end of October racing with the Outlaws before we finished out our USAC season the following week in California.

Here’s what you have to remember. You can’t expect a group of guys like us to just go out and ride around when we weren’t racing USAC because that wasn’t us. 

All four of us were running in the top five in all three USAC divisions so racing was what made us. We lived for each race and to just go out there and hang back wasn’t us.

Ryder had been running up high on the cushion all night and at tracks like Williams Grove, that meant trouble.

“You better watch that,” Jimi told Ryder after his heat race. “That wall bites.”

Ryder just laughed and went about his way.

Half way through the feature Justin and I were up front battling with my dad when we saw the lights flash yellow and then immediately red. This usually meant someone crashed badly or something was wrong with the track.

They stopped us coming out of turn three. When you’re inside those cars cramped in small quarters, it seemed like hours waiting but when they landed a helicopter in the infield, I knew it was serious.

I had no idea who was injured or how badly. The outlaws don’t have radios so we couldn’t ask.

Sometime after about forty-five minutes, they had us make pace laps and then I saw the car being hauled away. It was the number two of Ryder Christensen. I groaned to myself knowing he was badly injured. I hated to see him get hurt but as I said, none of us did things half-assed.

That night at Williams Grove, the wall bit back hard and Ryder saw that.

From the time I was old enough to know better, I knew the dangers of racing. I was also too caught up in racing to be scared when I was inside the car. I’d seen first-hand the gnarly wrecks my dad endured and I’d had my fair share over the years as well but that night in Williams Grove scared me.

I knew Ryder well from our times racing in the quarter midgets together and now with racing USAC and seeing him airlifted away was not something I took lightly. I wasn’t naïve, I knew we could get killed doing this and I’d seen it before and I was sure I’d see it again.

Spencer, Justin and I drove up to the hospital in Pittsburg that night to check on Ryder while everyone else went back to Mooresville. They had him listed in critical condition but they said he’d be all right. Broken ribs, concussion, broken arm, broken leg, broken pelvis and broken back was bound to keep him out of racing for a while.

Dad and Bucky met us at the hospital as well to check on him and for the first time, I talked to my dad about the dangers of racing. It’s not that I didn’t know how badly we could get hurt but between racers, it’s not something you talked about, it just wasn’t.

I think that night shook Jimi a little as well because Ryder and I were around the same age.

He saw me walking down the hall with Justin and reached for me, pulling me into a hug. I didn’t pull away, I just stood there, part of me shocked that he was hugging me but also relieved that he was all right. That could have been him and that could have been me. It could have be any of us.

“How’s Ryder?” he finally asked pulling away.

“Pretty banged up but he’s stable. His dad is back there with him now.”

“Who’d he wreck with?”

Bucky cleared his throat beside us. “He and Tyler were in a close battle for fifth and Ryder came around the outside just as Tyler’s left rear tire blew.”

I shook my head remembering my crash just a month earlier when I destroyed the catch fence and myself doing that same thing. All of us loved the high side but it’s dangerous up there at times. It’s fast and sometimes too fast for conditions but in Ryder’s case, it was just bad timing. It wasn’t his fault and it wasn’t Tyler’s. It was the dangers of racing.

Dad and I flew back to Mooresville that night. They had bought a house there to make things easier on traveling and being able to sleep in our own beds at times. It was a nice change from sleeping in hotels and along the highway.

“Are you okay?” Dad asked when we drove from the airport to the house. I was in the middle of sending Sway a text to let her know I was on my way back to the Mooresville and was relieved to know she was there too.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I slipped my phone inside my jacket. “I feel bad for Ryder
...
and Tyler.” Tyler felt horrible afterward and left without saying anything to anyone. When dad and I left the hospital, Tyler was still sitting outside the ICU waiting for Ryder to come around.

“I know,” he agreed shaking his head. “I hate to see that sort of thing but when you race as long as I have
...
it happens
...
too often. I haven’t seen a wreck like that since O’Neil’s kid.”

We didn’t say much else after that, just rode in comfortable silence.

When we got home, it was around three in the morning but I wanted to see Sway. She was in the guest room so I snuck inside there. To my surprise, she was awake, pacing the room.

“Are you all right?” I whispered watching her pace. She was only dressed in one of my t-shirts and panties.

I prayed she was wearing a bra and then I silently hoped she wasn’t. God, I was so fucked.

I almost turned around and left but she didn’t let me before she was in my arms, hugging me tightly.

“I’m so glad you’re okay.” She wailed.

“Sway
...
shhh
honey.” I stroked her head as she cried. “You knew I didn’t wreck.”

“I know but I was
...
worried.” She sniffled into my neck. I could feel her ragged heartbeat against my chest, her tears wetting my neck. “Seeing that helicopter
...
the crash
...
”