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Authors: Alice Lingard

BOOK: Toxic
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Suzy's face dropped when she saw he'd ordered a bottle of whiskey.

“That's not going to help,” she said.

“Christ, you sound like Raw and Carol. Why don't you all get off my case?”

“Don't worry, babes. That's exactly what I plan to do.” She grabbed her bag and started towards the door.

“Why are you leaving?”

“I'm done.”

“Don't go, honey.”

“My name's Suzy!” she shouted, as she slammed the door behind her.

 

Tears welled in her eyes as she hurried down the stairs. She should have known better than to think it could last. The beach hadn't been real life; this was real life. And it stunk.

 

 

**********

 

 

Lacey felt her phone vibrate. Raw and Carol were still arguing about what they should or shouldn't do about Todd. As far as Raw was concerned, the answer was simple:
nothing
. He'd reached the end of his tether.

Neither of them noticed Lacey slip into the master bedroom to take the call.

“Suzy? Are you okay?”

“Not really.” She was sobbing. “I need to get into the flat, but I haven't got my key.”

“Is Todd with you?”

“That fuck-up? No.”

“Where is he? Is he okay?”

“Don't worry about him. He's tucked up with a bottle of Jack Daniels.”

“Why don't you come over to the penthouse? You can stay here for a couple of nights.”

“No offence, but I can't face Rawhide and his sis. I need to be by myself for a while.”

“I'll meet you at the flat. I can be there in twenty minutes.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

 

“Raw!” Lacey had to shout to be heard. The two siblings were still going at it hammer and tongs. “I'm going out to get some fresh air.”

“Where are you going?” Raw said.

“Nowhere. I won't be long. I just need to get out for a while.”

“Okay.”

Before she'd reached the lift doors, Raw and Carol were back at each other's throats.

 

Suzy was already at the flat by the time Lacey arrived. She was sitting with her back against the wall—her head resting on her knees.

“Are you okay?” Lacey held out a hand to help Suzy to her feet.

“Me? Of course I am.”

“I'll make us a nice cup of tea,” Lacey said, once they were inside.

“Thanks, Mummy.”

 

“What happened after you left the hospital?” Lacey asked.

“We went to some crappy hotel.”

“I mean what happened between you and Todd?”

“What does it matter?”

“Suzy.”

“I told him to fuck off. It's done.”

“That's it?”

“Yes.”

“Drink your tea,” Lacey said.

Suzy took a sip. “Does Rawhide know you're here?”

“No. I told him I needed some fresh air. He and Carol are going at it again.”

“Todd's a bloody idiot. He doesn't know how lucky he is to have so many people looking out for him. He's a stupid, arrogant, self-centred—”

“How ever did you manage to live with him for over a month if you hate him so much?”

“I don't hate Todd. I hate the guy Todd pretends to be. The guy who calls everyone
honey,
and acts like a complete prick.”

“That's the only version of him I've ever known.”

“You should have seen him at the beach, Lacey. He was so
nice
.”


Nice
? Since when did you go for
nice
?”

“I know. I must be going soft. It's true though—there was none of his bullshit while we were living at the beach. If you'd seen how he was the last few weeks—you'd have liked him too.”

Lacey nodded, but found it hard to believe she could ever like Todd. The man was an obnoxious waste of space, and Suzy was well shut of him.

“He didn't have a single drink.”

“Hmm.”

“It's true. All of the time we were at the beach, he didn't have any alcohol. Neither of us did except—” She hesitated. “Remember the day I rang you? I was mightily pissed off, so I took a cab to the nearest town, and drank myself into oblivion. It was only the once though. The rest of the time I was stone cold sober.”

“What happened that day to piss you off?”

“I don't remember.”

“Liar.”

“It doesn't matter now.”

“What was it?”

“He used the 'L' word.”

“The—? Love?”

Suzy nodded.

“The swine. How dare he do something as horrible as to say he loves you?”

“He didn't say he loved me. He said we'd
made
love.”

“Bloody hell. String the bastard up.”

“You're not helping.” Suzy gave Lacey a friendly nudge. “You're supposed to be on my side.”

“I
am
on your side, but from where I'm sitting, what he did doesn't seem like such a crime.”

“I know. I was being stupid. I apologised the next day when I'd sobered up.”

“Do you love him?” Lacey asked.

“Which one? The Todd I lived with at the beach or the arse hole I just walked out on?” Suzy shrugged. “I'm not sure what love is meant to feel like, but yeah—I think I did.”

“Did? What's changed?”

“As soon as we got back, the bubble burst and reality came flooding in. The old Todd came back.”

“Does he love you?”

“You'd have to ask him.”

“I'm asking you.”

“I thought he did.”

“So what are you going to do about it?” Lacey put her hand on Suzy's.

“Get pissed.”

“Like that's going to help.”

“It can't make things any worse.”

“Why don't you sleep on it, and talk to Todd in the morning?”

“No way. When I left him, he was just starting on a bottle of whiskey. He'll still be drunk in the morning. Anyway, there's nothing to talk about. We had a good time while it lasted, but now it's over. I might give Daggers a call tomorrow. I'll let him buy me a few drinks, and then I'll fuck his brains out.”

“Great idea.”

“Why not? At least I know what I'm getting with him. A no-strings attached fuck. You should try it some time, babes.”

“Don't
babes
me.”

“What's up with you?”


You're
what's up with me. You sit there and complain about Todd being two different people, when all of the time you're doing exactly the same thing.”

“That's bollocks.”

“It's true. All this
babes
crap doesn't fool anyone—especially not me. That isn't the real you.”

“Who is it then?”

“I don't know. It's like you're trying to be your mum.”

Suzy's cheeks were red with anger. “Fuck off home, Lacey.”

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean—”

“Oh, you meant it all right. Just fuck off back to your cosy little penthouse.”

“Suzy. I'm sorry.”

“Get out!”

“I'll call you tomorrow.”

“Don't bother.”

 

 

 

Chapter 22

 

 

Carol had left by the time Lacey arrived back at the penthouse. Raw was at the dining table.

“I wasn't sure when you'd be back,” he said. “I can order you something.”

“It's okay. I'm not hungry. What have you got?”

“Fish. I nipped out and caught it while you were gone. You know how much I like to go fishing.”

Lacey smiled, and kissed him on the cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too. I'm sorry about all the madness. I'll make it up to you when everything is sorted.”

“When it is, you can take me to the villa for a month.”

“A month?”

“You're the boss. You can have as many holidays as you like.”

“It doesn't work like that.”

“A month!”

“Okay.” Raw smiled. “I promise. On one condition.”

“What?”

“No trespassing on other people's boats this time.”

Lacey thumped his arm. “I've just been to see Suzy.”

“I thought as much.”

“She's back in the flat. She walked out on Todd.”

“Probably for the best.”

“Best for who?”

“Suzy. She doesn't need his brand of madness.”

“I think they're in love.”

“Todd? In love? She's even crazier than I thought she was if she believes that.”

“It's no crazier than believing Suzy could love someone. I think their time together at the beach has changed them both.”

“Todd didn't look like he'd changed to me. Same old selfish shit.”

“That's because we don't get to see the same Todd as Suzy saw at the beach.”

“When you're drunk, you see what you want to see.”

“That's just it. Neither of them had a drink all of the time they were there.”

“Todd go without a drink for over a month? If you believe that, you'll believe anything.”

“I don't think she was lying.”

“Lacey.” Raw put his arm around her waist, and pulled her close to him. “I know she's your friend, but you can't really believe any of this. You've seen what Todd's like, and from what you've told me about Suzy—”

“I know. You're probably right. I just want her to be happy.”

“It's better this way. They're bad enough when they're apart, but together? It's a toxic combination.”

 

 

 

**********

 

 

Jason was on the phone when Carol arrived back at her apartment.

“Hi,” she mouthed.

“Are you sure?” he said into the phone. “When?” Okay, keep me posted.”

 

“Any news?” Carol asked when he'd ended the call.

“Waverley has gone quiet.”

“Surely that's a good thing, isn't it?”

“I'm not sure. He isn't the kind of man to forgive and forget. His reputation is his most valuable asset. If it became known that some no-mark—no offence—like your brother has stiffed him, and gotten away with it—. Well let's just say, he isn't going to allow that to happen.”

“So what do you think is happening?”

“I'm not sure, but it's possible he has already taken out a contract on Todd. If that is the case, it's not in his interest to be seen discussing him. He'll want to distance himself as far as possible from any
incident
.”

“We have to get Todd away from here.”

“From what I saw at the hospital, it doesn't look like he wants any help from you or Raw.”

“It doesn't matter what he wants.”

“Yes it does. Look, Carol, setting up someone with a new identity is difficult enough if they are co-operative. Trying to do it for someone who isn't—it's impossible.”

“But you can arrange it?”

“I've just told you it won't—”

“I know what you said, but if I can talk him around.”

“It didn't look to me like he was in much of a mood to listen.”

“I'll make him listen. If I can get him on his own, I think I can persuade him. I just have to keep Raw away.”

“What about Suzy?”

“What about her?”

“Will she be going with him?”

“We'll see. I think it'd be better if he went alone, but he might not leave without her. If that's the case, we have no choice but to let them go together.”

Jason nodded. “Assuming
she
wants to go with him.”

“Understood.” Carol sighed. “I can't do anything else today. I'll try and track down Todd in the morning.”

 

She walked over to Jason and pressed her lips to his. “What's wrong?” she asked when he didn't respond.

“Nothing.”

“I'm sorry about all of this. Once Todd is safe we can focus on us.”

“I'd better get going. I'll give you a call in the morning.”

“You're leaving? I thought you'd stay the night.”

“I don't think so.”

“What's wrong?”

“I'm not sure this is a good idea. You and me.”

“Why? What did I do?”

“You didn't do anything, but let's face it, we aren't a match.”

“Says who?”

“Your brother for one.”

“Raw? I don't care what he thinks. And anyway, he's all over the place at the moment because of Todd. Once he gets to know you—”

“He'll dislike me even more. Come on, Carol, you have to be realistic. You and I come from very different worlds. I don't fit into yours, and I wouldn't want you to know mine.”

“So that's it? You're the one who gets to decide? Don't I get a say?”

“I'm sorry.” Jason turned to leave.

“That's it? Good-bye? Just like that?”

“I'll be around until Todd is safe. I promised to help, and I will, but only if you can talk him around.”

“Please! Don't go.”

“I'll call you tomorrow.”

 

After he'd gone, Carol didn't move for the longest moment. Everything he'd said was true—they did come from very different worlds. That didn't stop her from loving him.

 

 

**********

 

 

There was still a six-pack in the fridge. Suzy stared blankly at it. Four cans and she'd hardly remember who Todd was. All six, and she wouldn't care. So why didn't she just do it?

Lacey's words had stung her badly. She was
not
like her drunk, whore of a mother. She'd proven she could manage without a drink—well almost anyway. And she'd found someone who loved her.

Her phone rang. Probably Lacey. That girl just didn't know when to give up.

“Suzy?” the male voice said.

“Go back to your Jack Daniels, Todd.”

“Don't hang up, please.”

“What do you want?”

“I'm sorry.”

“Are you drunk?”

“Do I sound it? I haven't had a drop. Okay, well just one, but then I stopped,”

“Did the bottle slip out of your hands?”

“See, that's one of the reasons I love you—you're so funny. I'm really sorry. Will you come over?”  

“What are the others?”

“Others what?”

“Reasons you love me.”

“You want me to list them?”

“In alphabetical order.”

“See. There's the funny again. Okay, here goes: you're funny.”

“You've already said that.”

“You're sexy, you're good with dogs—”

“Good with dogs? You make it sound like you're interviewing for a vet.”

“You're kind, you're a good cook, you're—”

“You just want someone to make your meals for you.”

“And you never interrupt me.”

She managed a nervous laugh.

“There are a million reasons.” Todd said. “But mainly because you make me a better person. I don't like who I am when you're not there.”

She couldn't speak—she was afraid if she tried to that she'd dissolve into tears.

“Suzy? Are you there? You haven't fallen to sleep on me have you?”

“Sorry.” She somehow managed to choke back the tears.

“Will you come over? I need you.”

“Okay, but not now. I'm beat. I'll come over in the morning.”

“First thing then. Seven o' clock.”

“I'll be there at midday. If my alarm goes off.”

“Sleep tight, then.”

“Night.”

 

 

**********

 

 

Something had woken Lacey. Next to her in the bed, Raw was still fast asleep. She heard the sound again, and realised it was her phone. After slipping slowly out of bed, so as not to disturb Raw, she set off in search of the phone, and found it on top of the microwave. Raw was always telling her off for leaving it lying around the apartment. Caller ID showed it was Suzy calling.

“Suzy? Are you all right?”

“I just wanted to say sorry for being a cow.”

“It's one-thirty in the morning.”

“I know. I tried to sleep, but I couldn't—not without sorting things out with you first.  I'm sorry I told you to
fuck off back to your cosy little penthouse
.”

“It's okay. I'm sorry I mentioned your mum.”

“You were right. I
am
turning into my mum.”

“No you're not. It was a horrible thing for me to say.”

“It's true, but I'm going to change. I don't intend to end up like that sorry excuse for a human being.”

“So we're friends again?” Lacey said.

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