Touch Slowly (Red Light: Silver Girls series) (24 page)

Poverty was all she'd seen growing up. People stuck in the park, working to pay the bills, and never digging themselves out of the pit that lack of money had dug. She often believed her mom escaped and left her behind because she wanted a chance at making something of her life and she couldn't do that with a young daughter.

That was what she believed when she felt generous toward her mom. The other times, she hated her for what she'd done.

For her, at the time, she had no one to leave or hurt. It was her one chance to try to make something of herself before she was stuck.

If she would've had any idea she'd someday meet the man of her dreams and fall in love with him, she'd redo her life over. She'd never willingly put Emmett through the pain he found himself in right now.

It was too late.

Money wouldn't heal Emmett's view of her. Money wouldn't buy his love. Money couldn't stop people from leaving her.

Emmett walked back and stopped a few feet away from her. The muscle of his jaw twitched in tension, and he held his fists at his side. "The whole time you were seeing me, you went back and fucked other men? Not one man, but lots of men?"

She bit her tongue and nodded.

"Jesus Christ," he mumbled, looking away from her.

"Emmett, please let me explain how rudimentary my job is—"

"Stop. Damn." His lip curled in disgust. He fiddled with the bill of his cap and backed away from her again. "I don't even know what the fuck that means. I've been waiting and aching to have sex with you, and all this time you're..."

She willed her body to stop shaking. The harder she tried to stand still, the harder she shook.

"If you would hear me out and let me explain," said Nova.

"Hear you out?" He held still, looked at her, and shook his head as if ridding himself of everything to do with her.

"Emmett, please?"

"Get in the car." He rounded the front of the 'Cuda and stopped beside the driver's door and looked across the roof of the vehicle at her. "I fell in love with the woman I thought you were, and it was all a lie. This. You. You're a stranger to me."

She leaned against the car. "No, Emmett. You're wrong. I lied about my job and where I was staying and the reason I only came to see you at night. But, I am the woman who was with you. That's why I wouldn't have sex with you. I would never do that to you without you knowing the whole story. I planned to stay here, quit the Network when my contract ended because I want to be with you."

"No." He shook his head.

"I can tell you—"

"No," He muttered looking away from her. "It's too late. It's too much."

His head disappeared over the car and the door shut. She pulled on the handle and slid into the passenger seat. Emmett took off his cap and threw it on the dash, then started the car.

She stared out into the darkness, not knowing where he'd take her, and not caring. Emmett listened. He understood everything. He'd made his decision.

They'd come to the end of their relationship in the worse way possible.

"Please, don't go to the authorities with the information I gave you. Your anger at me doesn't involve the others," she said.

Emmett continued staring out the windshield. His usual hurry gone, the car crept along slowly on the backroad. She gave him time to answer, and he refused.

His judgment and punishment toward her settled in her bones. At least, this time, she understood why someone would walk away and leave her. Having the answers only made the pain worse.

T
awny, Kathryn, and Tara waved from the inside of the car taking them to the Spokane airport where they'd go their separate ways. Tawny and Tara to new bordellos they'd work at for the next three months. Kathryn would go back to her home where she'd reunite with her two kids.

Nova waved until the vehicle turned the corner and out of sight. While she agreed to stay in contact with them all, she understood how life moved in different directions for all of them.

Tiff stood beside Nova. "Do your cousins know you worked here for the last three months?"

Ever since last night, after calling the Network to tell them she would no longer need a plane ticket and she wanted to take her name off the roster, Tiff had treated her differently. Gone was the friendly banter, easy smiles, and in its place, awkward silence bounced between both of them.

"No. I told them I was going to arrive in Federal today and promised them I'd call when the taxi from the airport dropped me off. I'll call them from under the viaduct, so they don't associate me with the Sterling Building." She promised herself today would be the last day she lied.

Tiff sighed. "It was you who was caught on the security camera outside the building, wasn't it?"

Nova shook her head. To admit her guilt, she'd need to confess that not only Shayla knew about her occupation, but Emmett, too. If those two people told two people, word on the street would spread faster than a sexually transmitted disease.

"That brings me to the question about how you're going to conduct yourself while in Federal." Tiff's mouth thinned. "One of the reasons why the ladies only stay here for three months is so they won't get attached to the town or the men who visit Red Light. I'm sure you can imagine what would happen if you decide to talk, even to a cousin you trust with your life. You might've retired from the profession, Nova, but you'll always be a sex worker."

The back of her neck tingled. She understood perfectly. "As of today, my past is behind me. I have no reason to revisit my crimes or bring attention to those I respect and have grown to care for. You have nothing to worry about, Tiff."

Tiff studied her for several awkward seconds. "Good Luck, Nova."

Her former madam turned and walked through the back door of the Sterling Building. Nova picked up her large heavy suitcase and grabbed the handle of the cargo roller. She walked down the sidewalk toward the viaduct with her belongings and her chin lifted in the air. Determined to walk clean away from Red Light, she never stopped until she reached the shade of the concrete pillar and called Shayla to pick her up.

Her new life started now.

Never again would she lie to those she cared about because Karma had already kicked her ass when she lost Emmett. She wouldn't lose her family, too.

A biker rode by and turned before getting on the interstate. She gazed after the rider, recognizing the Moroad Motorcycle Club vest that Jeremy always wore. The rider rode out of sight, but the sound of the engine remained close in the distance. Obviously, Tiff decided not to trust her and sent one of the bikers for proof that Shayla would pick her up.

Shayla arrived several minutes later. Nova loaded her luggage into the trunk and headed back to Bitterroot Trailer Park with her cousin.

The next few days promised to be busy. Shayla volunteered to help her look for a house, and she hoped cash spoke to the sellers. She wanted away from the trailer park and Emmett before her presence caused any trouble.

"Hey, stop looking so sad." Shayla turned off the interstate. "You have a brand new life to start, and I have good news. We have an appointment in two hours to look at the house I was telling you about that is for sale by owner. We'll eat lunch and then I'll drive you over to check it out."

"Which house?" asked Nova, preferring to fall into the nearest bed, hide under the covers, and forget the world existed.

"The one with the river in the backyard." Shayla drove off the road and parked in front of the trailer.

"I'm pretty sure having water on the property will make the house more expensive." Nova looked over at Emmett's trailer. His car was gone, and he was probably at work. "How much is the asking price?"

Shayla opened the car door. "I don't know. The ad in the paper didn't say. Only said 'a must see' and 'one of a kind'. It probably means it's a fixer upper. Sellers always want to reel you in on the good things and never mention the bad things."

Nova had no idea what the real estate market was like in Idaho. She got out of the car and walked to the trunk. Rather than house hunt, she rather concentrate on surviving the day because right now she felt like dying without Emmett in her life.

Her lack of desire to go out and find a real house for her to live in fed into her depression. She couldn't plan for tomorrow when she wanted to go back to before she told Emmett the truth, every truth.

With Shayla's help, she brought her luggage into the house and carried everything to the spare bedroom. The sight of the neon green bedspread stopped her inside the room, and she dropped the luggage. The wooden box Nick burnt her name on sat beside the bed on the floor. Two old pictures she drew in high school hung on the wall —The Seattle Space Needle in the rain and a high heeled shoe next to a can of Budweiser.

She turned to Shayla and launched herself at her cousin. Squeezing Shayla, she rocked side to side. "How did you? Where did you? Shayla, thank you. Thank you so much."

"It was Nick." Shayla laughed. "He was in charge of packing up the old place when we moved here. You know him, he keeps everything. We thought it would be nice if you felt like you had your old room back. Nick brought the box out of the closet last night, and I fixed up the room this morning before I picked you up."

"It's wonderful." Nova's smile turned into a yawn. "I can't believe you both kept this stuff."

"Lay down for a little bit, and I'll make us each a sandwich. Is a grilled tuna melt okay?"

"Sure. I haven't had one..."

"Honey, you're home. Relax and don't think." Shayla hugged her once more and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

Nova moved to the bed and ran her hand over the bedspread. Aunt Jennie bought the cover for Nova's seventeenth birthday. It was the last birthday her aunt got to celebrate with her and knowing Nick kept it all these years meant everything to her. When she finally bought a house, she'd fold the keepsake and put it somewhere special, so not to cause any more wear and tear.

She sat down on the bed and picked up the wooden box. Taking a deep breath, afraid to open the lid, she slowly peeked inside. She stared at the contents. A black feather, probably from a hawk, that had caught her eye in Mrs. Wopiki's yard on the first day of high school, and she'd picked it up and put it in her bag to keep. Several barrettes she forgot she had from when her mom used to do her hair every morning. A Valentine's Day card from her first boyfriend who broke up with her a week later for Amber Kennedy. She moved the items aside and picked up the picture that lay face down.

She flipped the photo over. Her mom laughed into the camera. Beautiful, young —only two years younger than Nova was now, and full of life. Nova turned the picture back over and put it in the box. If it weren't for her looking exactly like her mom, she wasn't sure she'd even recognize her mom in the picture holding her on her lap.

Wherever Krissy Kinsley lived, she'd forgotten all about her daughter.

She put the box back on the floor and moved to unpack. Luckily, her clothes would fit in with society's norm. She had no funky sweatshirts with 'Red Light University' printed on the front or yoga pants with 'Bordello worker' embroidered across the ass.

Finished unpacking both pieces of luggage, she walked out of the room and found Shayla setting a plate on the table. Her stomach growled. Unable to eat the last couple of days with everyone asking her questions about leaving the Network, she found herself starving after seeking comfort from her old belongings she thought she'd lost.

"Do you want some Koolaid?" Shayla poured red juice from a pitcher into a cup.

"No, but I'll take a glass of water." She picked up half the sandwich Shayla made her and took a bite, using her finger to cut the string of cheese that refused to give up.

Shayla set the glasses on the table and slid a paper towel toward her. Nova finished one side of the sandwich before stopping.

"Remember when we used to dunk tuna melts in tomato soup?" Nova smiled for the first time in days.

"Nick still uses chicken noodle to dip." Shayla scrunched her nose. "I never could understand why he did that when the rest of us used tomato."

"Where is Nick? I thought he was working swing shift.

Shayla wiped her mouth. "His shift changed to days this week. He should be popping in sometime between four and five o'clock if he comes straight home."

She finished her sandwich and took her plate to the sink. Growing up, they were all responsible for washing the dishes they used, and she fell into the old habit easily. Besides, keeping busy kept her mind off all the changes happening to her.

Not knowing where they were going to look at the house or what they'd encounter when she got there, she changed into a pair of sneakers and exchanged her blouse for a tank top. The small trailer already captured the heat from the day and by the time they got back, it'd be an oven inside.

Shayla stuck her head in the bedroom and jingled her keys. "Are you ready to buy a house?"

Nova grabbed her purse. "Maybe I'll get lucky."

"That's the spirit." Shayla walked out ahead of her to the car.

Whether the unfamiliar roads or the fact Shayla kept stopping and looking at addresses on the many mailboxes lining the grassy area, the drive seemed far away from Federal. Finally, Shayla found the right numbers and pulled onto an asphalted driveway. Nova peered ahead, unable to see a house.

"Are you sure this is it?" She gazed up at the uniformed pine trees lining the driveway.

"Positive." Shayla followed the winding curves.

A break in the trees gave way to a house. Nova gawked.

Two stories tall with a four car garage detached from the stately four column colonial house, rather a mansion, stood out in the park-like setting. Nova groaned. Her cousin was an idiot.

"Wow." Shayla stopped the car and slapped Nova's leg. "Look at that."

"We can't go in." Nova pushed Shayla back. "I might not know the going rate for houses, but there's no way this is in my price range."

"Oh, come on. We're here. Let's check it out." Shayla opened the car door before Nova could stop her.