Touch Me Gently (17 page)

“It hurts!” Kaden exclaimed, sweat popping out along his forehead, and he gritted his teeth. The physical therapist pushed his knee to his chest again, and Kaden felt a little less pain as he did it again, and again. Hope spread through his mind, body, and heart as it became easier to move the leg. Sam laid his right leg back down gently, and moved to his left leg, forcing him to repeat the same movements.

Finally the man let him rest, and Kaden’s chest heaved from the deep breaths he took, his jaw aching from his teeth being clenched for so long. “This is great progress, Kaden! We’ll do it again tomorrow.” Sam helped him from the pool, lifting him up and taking him into the changing room, where he helped change him back to the shirt and sweatpants that Logan had brought him from home.

Maybe if he could walk again then Becca could get better. He prayed that God would help her, bring her back out of the coma, and help her get well. He promised to try harder in his own efforts if the Man above would just grant him this one wish. He could barely keep his head up as Sam wheeled him back to his room and moved him to the bed. Sleep claimed him for several hours, and when he woke Logan sat in the chair beside the bed reading a book. “Logan,” he rasped, his voice still husky from sleep.

“You’re awake.” Logan smiled, marking his page in the book and setting it on the table near him. He stood and moved closer to the bed, leaning over to kiss Kaden briefly, running his tongue over the boy’s smooth lips. He nuzzled at Kaden’s neck for a few seconds before pulling away and smiling down at him. “Sam told me about your progress today. I’m so happy for you!”

Kaden felt tears welling up in his eyes as the thought of Becca came back to him. Logan looked at him in alarm. “What’s wrong?”

Words tumbled out of him before he could stop them, and moments later he found himself gathered close to Logan’s chest, being soothed and comforted. “Sometimes life deals us a hand that isn’t always the easiest. And I’m sure God will do His best to help her if He can, but if she is meant to be with Him, then that is where she belongs. Work hard to get better so that when she comes out of the coma, you can help her get well, Kaden. I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you walking again, and it will give her encouragement to get better too.”

Lying there weakly, Kaden listened to Logan’s heartbeat beneath his ear, and wondered at how his life had changed so much since he’d met this man. “Logan?”

“Hmm?” the cowboy sighed, just enjoying the feel of Kaden in his arms. He couldn’t wait to bring him home. He missed the boy’s light and laughter in his house. It made the old ranch house seem sterile without him.

“I love you.” Kaden’s voice was strong and even as he spoke, ensuring that Logan knew he told the truth.

Logan tenderly brushed a lock of Kaden’s dark hair behind his ear, bending his head close to the pale ear to murmur, “I love you, too, my little one.”

Warmth spread throughout Kaden’s body, bringing with it a sense of safety and peace. Something he hadn’t felt in a very long time. Logan shifted so that he could lie down beside him, and they cuddled, holding one another and relishing being together. No matter what had happened, Logan still loved him, and it left him breathless. The trouble he’d caused since his arrival, the panic attacks, the frustration that Logan must have felt when they had only kissed and hugged—yet nothing seemed to make the big cowboy think less of him or love him any less. Maybe he was worth loving, and maybe, just maybe, he could finally be happy.

Becca’s condition didn’t change, pushing Kaden to work harder and harder. He also begged for God to hear his words as he prayed at her bedside. Such a beautiful little girl, full of life and spirit, didn’t deserve to have her already short life cut shorter. Within weeks of his first bit of progress, he started using crutches to get around. Eventually, he graduated to a cane and limping as he walked. Each step caused him pain but it gave him hope, for himself and for the little red-headed girl that he’d come to love in such a short time. The doctors were doing as much as they could to help her, but it didn’t appear as though it would be enough. The rest would be up to God.

The day before Kaden was scheduled to go home to the ranch, Becca came to him in his dreams. She wore a white gown, her curls shiny and bright around her head, holding the hand of a woman he had never seen before. She smiled at him and blew him a kiss, beaming up at the woman beside her. Even though he couldn’t speak, he could hear words coming from the little girl, though he wasn’t sure if he understood them. Suddenly he knew the woman holding Becca’s hand had to be her mother. The moment he woke, he started to cry, big gulping sobs. She was gone. He knew it in his heart as he slowly sat up, pulling the covers back and lowering his feet to the floor. He grabbed his cane and limped from his room, making his way over to the children’s ward. As he approached her room, he saw the candy striper, Sandy, coming from Becca’s room, crying. She looked up at him, and her face told him the answer he already knew.

Kaden walked toward the girl, and they hugged each other as he gazed in on Becca’s empty bed. Even though it broke his heart, he knew Becca was with her mother and no longer in pain. There had been such warmth in the light that surrounded the little girl and such peace in her eyes as she’d smiled at him. He breathed in deeply, willing his tears away because Becca would be mad if he gave in to his sadness. He smiled as he remembered the day that she had started getting angry with him because he hadn’t been willing to do his physical therapy. Her eyes had sparked with temper, and she’d started demanding that he get out of bed, telling him that he wasn’t allowed to not try. That he had to try for her, because who else would take her to the park while her daddy was working? It had chased away his depression, leaving him with the willingness to try again.

Kaden stayed quiet the next morning when Logan came to get him, and it immediately attracted the cowboy’s concern. “What’s wrong, Kaden? Did something happen?”

A sad smile pushed at the corner of his lips, not quite reaching his eyes. “Becca passed away last night.”

“Oh, Kaden.” Engulfed in the cowboy’s strong embrace, Logan held Kaden tightly to his warm body. Fingers combed through his dark hair, and one of the large hands rubbed his back soothingly. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. I know she’s with her mother and that she’s happy. She came to me in my dreams last night. To tell me not to be sad and that she was proud of me for walking again.” Kaden wrapped his arms around Logan’s waist, holding on tight. “I want to go see her dad. To tell him that she’s going to be okay.”

Logan pulled back to look down at the sad teenager, but there were no tears in the gaze looking up at him, just acceptance and grief. “All right, I’ll take your things to the car, and meet you at the front entrance.”

Kaden nodded, leaving the room and moving as quickly as he could to the Pediatrics ward. A sense of rightness about what he intended to do settled itself into his heart, burrowing deeply. The father sat in a chair outside Becca’s room, hunched over with his face buried in his hands. As Kaden approached, the man looked up and fresh tears spilled over again when he spotted the teenage boy who’d been his daughter’s friend. Kaden lowered himself beside the man, wrapping his arms around the shaking shoulders. Grief could make the largest man in the world seem so small under the weight of it. “My little girl is gone. She’s gone,” the father wailed, rocking back and forth.

“Becca’s going to be okay, Mr. Thompson. She’s together with her mom and at peace,” Kaden said quietly, trying to get the man to hear his words. “I know it in my heart, and I know she’s happy where she is. She will be waiting for you there, and wanted you to know that she loves you, very much. And that she is going to miss you until she can be together with you again.”

Mr. Thompson shuddered, the words stinging against the pain already in his heart. “How do you know? How can you know?”

“I just know it in my heart,” Kaden said confidently.

Mr. Thompson stood, rubbing at his eyes and trying to gather his self-control. “My sister is going to arrange the f-funeral. I’ll tell her to send you the information if you’d like to attend.”

“Thank you.”

“No. Thank you for being her friend. She liked and admired you a lot, Kaden. You were all she ever talked about whenever I came to see her. I’m so glad she met you.” Mr. Thompson gripped Kaden’s shoulder and squeezed it, conveying the rest of his emotions without words before slowly trudging out of the hospital, bent like an old man.

Kaden rubbed at the ache in his chest and walked to the elevator, taking it down to the bottom floor, where Logan waited for him. Shea welcomed him home, along with Charlie and Mantacor. It still pained him to know that Becca was gone, but he still worked hard at walking without the cane. He attended the funeral a few days after he’d returned home with Logan by his side. He couldn’t keep from crying, even though he knew Becca would be mad at him. The father gave him a picture of Kaden and Becca taken together one day at the hospital, before she’d become severely ill. He treasured it and kept it in his wallet.

The day he could walk without the cane, he went to “see” her, to tell her about his accomplishment. He sat down close to her gravestone, tracing the letters of her name:
Rebecca Beverly Thompson, the light of a father’s world
. “Hey, Becca. I miss you. A lot. Sometimes I stop what I’m doing to think about you. Guess what? I don’t have to use the cane anymore. I can walk without it. I wish you were here to see it, but I know wherever you are, you can see me and know that I’m doing okay.”

He looked down at the grass, and pulled at some of the weeds growing around the headstone. “I just wanted to say thank you, because if it hadn’t been for you, I might not have had the strength to walk again. You were guiding me all along.”

He stood, struggling a little as he still wasn’t completely steady on his feet, and gently laid the single rose he’d brought with him on the top of the headstone, smiling softly. “I’ll see you later, Becca.”

“You ready to go home?” Kaden turned to find Logan standing nearby, waiting patiently for him. It seemed as though Logan was always patiently waiting for him to catch up, and he smiled broadly, rushing over to Logan’s side. He slipped his arm through Logan’s and smiled up at him.

“Let’s go home.” They walked back to the truck where Logan opened his door for him before climbing into the driver’s side. The cowboy picked up his hand and entwined their fingers after starting the vehicle and slowly pulling away from the cemetery.

Kaden turned his head to the side to study the larger man’s profile, the sun flashing off his features as the trees around them would cover and uncover the sun. He could see the contentment in Logan’s face, and the looks of affection and love that the cowboy tossed his way. Logan’s lips curved up slightly at the corner, and he glanced over at Kaden. “What? Do I have something on my face?”

“No, it’s not that. Just thinking about how thankful I am.”

“Thankful? For what?” Logan asked in confusion.

“For being blessed by meeting you and for you loving me,” Kaden said honestly, his eyes conveying his sincerity.

Logan smiled, lifting Kaden’s hand to his mouth and placing a gentle kiss on the boy’s knuckles. “I should be the one who’s thankful. If not for my cousin, I’d have never met you, and my world would still be dark without the moon to light my path.”

Kaden flushed at the mushy words that Logan used, but his eyes flooded with love for the larger cowboy. “Let’s hurry home, because I’m starving.”

“But we just had a huge breakfast!” Logan exclaimed in astonishment, looking at Kaden.

“I didn’t say I was starving for food,” Kaden teased, winking at Logan.

It took Logan a moment to process what the younger man implied, but once it hit, he threw his head back and laughed. Loudly. “It’s only been eight hours,” he taunted, grinning at the flush that overtook Kaden’s features. “But if you can’t wait until we get back to the ranch, there’s this motel out on the interstate….” he trailed off suggestively.