Total Control (2 page)

Chapter 2

I woke to Ethan’s soft lips on mine.
What a way to start the day,
I thought, but then realized it was still dark. I kissed him back but knew I probably had bad breath so I kept my mouth closed. Well, I
tried
to keep my mouth closed, but he had other ideas. He crawled on top of me and forcefully stuck his tongue in my mouth. He started grinding against me really hard and it was hurting me. I tried to tell him, but his mouth was over mine so hard and tight that I couldn’t speak. I tried to push him off me, but I couldn’t. He grabbed my breast and squeezed and then pinched my nipple, hard, too hard. I couldn’t figure out what the hell he was doing. He never acted like this. He pulled his mouth away from mine and before I could say anything he put his hand over my mouth. A light shone through the window and illuminated his face. “Lex!” I screamed.

I sat straight up in bed.
Fuck!
I was sweating and shaking.

“Gia
, are you okay? Did you have another nightmare?” Ethan sat up beside me and took me in his arms. “It’s all right. You’re safe.” He laid me back down and held me tight against him.

I fell back to sleep and didn’t wake up again until morning.
When I opened my eyes, I looked around my room.
Maybe I should consider decorating in here.
I saw the flowers on my dresser and I smiled. I turned my head to look at Ethan, he was watching me.

“Do you ever sleep?” I asked him.

“No. I’m a vampire!” He grabbed me and bit my neck softly. I playfully fought back, but it felt so good I just leaned back, giving him full access.

“You’re just gonna let me s
uck your blood?”

I laughed. “
Yes. It felt so good, I had to succumb.”

He smiled. “Now you
’re mine and you have to live with me for all eternity.”

“You’ve been watching too much
Twilight
.” I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. “If you come shower with me I’ll consider it, though.” He was right behind me.

We kissed softly as we stood under the sprayer. I couldn’t believe how comfortable I’d become
with being naked in front of him. He soaped my sponge and washed my entire body. He did it with such care I felt like I was being pampered. When I washed his body, I scrubbed and massaged his back especially, because he seemed to love that. I noticed every inch of him that time. Every freckle, every muscle, every hair; he was perfect.

I put the sponge
down and kissed him softly. I wanted to give back to him for all that he’d given me. I turned off the water and led him back to my bed. His face was full of anticipation as I gently laid his nakedness down on the bed in which I’d never even slept until last night. Wild butterflies were inside me as I considered all that I wanted to do to him on it.

His neck and chest were warm as I tasted and teased them. The coolness of my wet hair made him shudder when it fell against his skin. My nipples grew hard with jealousy as I sucked and nibbled on his. He was still as he watched me slide down his body and straddle his calves. My hair left a trail of wetness as I
used it to tease his abs and thighs along the way. When I ran my tongue up his inner thigh, I stopped right before it touched his boys, but I made sure they felt my breath against them before I moved to the other side. I glanced up at him teasingly. His breathing was rapid and his hands were lost as they pressed into the mattress.

I traveled
upward to his goody trail and licked all the way to his belly button. As I stopped there to nibble, my breasts heaved against his cock. I pushed them together while I rocked up and down, just until he seemed to be moving along with my rhythm. I had plans for him. I slowly slid back down and surprised him as I greedily took him in my mouth as deep as I could. He gasped, then moaned and put his hand in my hair. My hand was around his cock and I squeezed as I slid it downward, pulling his skin tight so I could slide him in and out of my mouth smoothly. I stopped at the tip, sucked, and used my tongue and teeth to tease him into a frenzy. He had both hands in my hair and was watching and moaning. I felt powerful as I took him in my mouth and moaned, too. He tried to pull me up to him. I knew he was getting close and he didn’t want to come in my mouth, but I wanted him to. I wanted to taste him. I wanted him to let go. I took my free hand and pushed his arm to the side, holding it down so he’d know this was what I wanted. I was in control.

I picked up the rhythm
and began to pump him as I sucked on the tip. I pulled back on him a little so he had a great view of what I was doing to him. Each time he was on the verge, I changed it up. I took him as deep as I could and pumped fast. Then I took just the tip and pumped slow or held tight. He wanted me and I knew it, but I wanted to feel him come. I wanted to feel him pulse under my hand and in my mouth. I’d held him off as long as I could, and I had to let him have it. I kept the rhythm steady and I moaned while he was in my mouth. He tried to pull my head back but I was ready for him and as he came, I swallowed every drop.

I slowly went to him. He was lying very still
with his head back and his eyes closed. I was very proud of myself. “Jesus, Gia,” he said, opening his eyes. I was smiling like the cat that ate the canary. He chuckled. “You never cease to amaze me.”

I plopped onto my back beside him and sighed a very satisfied sigh. H
e rolled to his side, propping his head up on his hand.

“Now we need t
o take care of you.” He smiled.

“No, I’m good.”
I really did feel satisfied.

“What do you mean you’re good?”
He looked disappointed.

“I want you to owe me,
” I said with a naughty grin. I hopped up and started digging through my dresser for clothes. He watched as I got dressed. I gave him a kiss and went to the bathroom to do my hair and makeup.

When I finished,
I went back to my bedroom to get some shoes. Ethan had made my bed and put the pillows and flowers back where he got them. I could hear him on the phone in the other room so I took a moment to sit on my bed and look around. I’d decorated my entire apartment with bright cheery colors and comfort items, but never touched this room. No wonder I didn’t sleep in there, it reminded me of the home I’d shared with Lex. We’d had a nice house, but all the walls and carpets were off white and the furniture and accents were neutral. Maybe I was trying to hold onto a part of that? Since I never slept in there or spent any time in there, why did it matter?

“Everything okay?” Ethan was in the doorway.

“I’ve decided to redecorate my bedroom.”

“Good for you.” H
e smiled at me. “You look beautiful today.”

“
Thank you. Should we get some breakfast?”

***

I dropped off my rent check at the salon on our way. Bridget wasn’t there yet.
Perfect timing.
Then Ethan and I walked down to the little diner at the end of the street. I was surprised when Ethan slid in the booth seat next to me. Most people sat across from each other. Not that I minded, I was just surprised. I put my hand on his thigh and squeezed while I read the menu. We ordered and Ethan took my hand and held it between both of his on the table. He was looking at them and I could tell something was bothering him.

“What’s up?”

“I’m just brainstorming,” he said. “I wish I could bring California to you.”

I laughed even though I could tell he was seriously thinking about how he could. “Will you come to my sister
’s with me after breakfast? I want to talk to her about my treatment and we can do some research over there.”

“Sure.”
We talked about Lill and her kids until our food came.

***

We made our way back up the street. “I’ll drive,” I said and unlocked Frank. “Pour Some Sugar On Me” blasted from the speakers. I reached up quickly and turned it down. “Sorry,” I said and Ethan shook his head, grinning. “I like it loud,” I said, smiling back.

“Why’d you name your car ‘Frank’?” Ethan asked as I backed onto the street.

“When I was about ten or eleven, Mom and Dad took Lill and I to a Christmas party at one of their friend’s homes. They were an older couple and played a lot of Sinatra during the party. As we walked to the car at the end of the night, Dad sang “Come Fly With Me” to Mom. When we loaded into the car, Dad was still humming. Mom smiled at him and said, ‘Take us home, Frank.’ It just stayed with me as a sweet memory from a fun night we’d had as a family. When I hopped in my new car to drive it off the lot, it just came out, ‘Home, Frank,’ and it stuck.” I smiled.

“That’s nice,” Ethan said.

We drove a few blocks and I pulled into a little candy store. “I always take treats to my niece and nephew—be right back.”

I picked out a few of their favorites and headed
back to the car. Just as I was about to open the door I heard someone call my name. I turned to see Lex holding hands with a little girl and they were coming toward me.
Shit!
I forced a smile.

“Hi
, Gia, how are you?” Lex asked.

“
I’m good. How are you?” I answered, trying not to show my nervousness.

“I’m great!”
he said with a shit pile of enthusiasm. “Gia, this is my daughter Abigail. Abigail, this is Gia.” My couch suddenly popped into my head and I wanted to be on it.

“Nice to meet you
, Abigail.” I shook her little hand. She was a cutie with strawberry blonde hair and green eyes.

“I’m glad I ran into you
, Gia. I wanted to tell you the good news. Karen and I are expecting!” He just beamed and I wanted to hide in the nearest hole. Lex looked over my shoulder and held out his hand. “Hi, I’m Lex.”

“Ethan.” T
hey shook hands. I hadn’t even noticed him get out of the car. Ethan put his arm around me and I looked at him. Our eyes locked. “You ready, Hotness?” he asked. I got butterflies as I wondered what Lex thought of that.

“Ready.” I smiled
. “Congratulations,” I told Lex and got in the car.

I watched as he and Abigail went into the candy store. I gripped the steering wheel tightly and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest.

“Hey, you okay?” Ethan reached for my arm but I jerked it away from him, still staring ahead. “Gia, what’s wrong?”

I felt tears welling up in my eyes as I realized what I had to do. “I have to go
,” I said as I put Frank in reverse and backed out of the spot.

“Go? Where? Talk to me, what’s wrong?” Ethan asked.

I pulled out onto the street and headed toward Lill’s. “I have to go to California,” I told him.

“Why? I mean, what happened back
there that made you decide this in such a hurry?”

“I just have to get out of here for a while. I have to work it all out
, and if Jo and Dana think California is the best place for me, then I have to trust them and give it my all for thirty days.”

“Okay
. If that’s what you want, then that’s what you should do. Did Lex say something to upset you, Gia? Why won’t you let me touch you?”
Poor guy, he doesn’t get my mood swings yet.

“Ethan, I just need
you to accept the fact that I can’t explain everything. I’m not used to having someone asking me every two seconds why I feel this way or that way. I don’t know why, that’s what I need help with. I’m sorry I can’t give you all the answers.” I know I sounded bitchy but I was suddenly irritated with all his questions.

“I’m sorry
, Gia. I just ask because I care about you. I’ll back off.” He looked out the window.

I pulled up in front of my sister’s house and turned to face Ethan. He looked at me with sad, hurt eyes. I felt sorry. He’d been so good to me
, so thoughtful and considerate, and I just kept letting him down, just like I’d done to Lex. I didn’t know what to say. I was tired. I reached up and put my hand on his face.

“I know you care about me and I care about you
, too. I just don’t know how to deal with those feelings right now. I’m sorry, Ethan.” He still looked sad but gave me a grin and turned his head slightly to kiss my hand.

Chapter 3

Ethan

As we walked up to Lilly’s
, two kids came running out to greet us. “Auntie G!” they squealed and Gia knelt down to hug them. Gia looked so happy as she took turns with each one, giving them big bear hugs and kisses on their cheeks. I instantly felt a deep ache for her as I realized how much
she
might’ve wanted children. I hadn’t even asked her how much she’d wanted what she couldn’t give Lex.