Torn (Torn Series) (28 page)

“Are you alright Chloe?” Logan asked, stepping into the room ahead of Drake.

“I’m great! I had a couple shots and now I’m all set,” I smiled brightly at them.,“What are you guys doing here? Wait, you’re together, and there’s no blood!”

Both of them continued to stare at me. Logan leaned down beside my bed and looked into my eyes, “Just how many shots have you had love?”

I rolled my eyes at the concern in his voice. Why did he seem so worried, when everything was just fine.

“Only a couple,” I motioned to the bottle on my nightstand, “See, it’s still full, I just opened it tonight.”

Drake glanced at the stand before looking back at me, “Uh Chloe, the bottle is empty.”

I stared at the bottle, noticing he was right. I slapped my hand across my face before laughing, “Whoops! Guess it’s a good thing it’s the cheap stuff, otherwise I’d be seriously drunk right now.”

They both exchanged looks with each other again, their facing growing more concerned. “Chloe honey, you
are
drunk. Excessively drunk actually,” Logan stated from beside me.

I rolled my eyes again, “Seriously guys, I’m fine. Why are you here?” The world tipped as I spoke and I was glad I was lying on my bed.

Drake spoke up from his spot in front of my bed, “Look Chloe, you’re trashed so I don’t think right now is a good time to talk like we planned. We’ll come back tomorrow,” He glanced at the bottle again, “Or the day after, I’m pretty sure you aren’t going to be up to any talking tomorrow.”

They were both really annoying me at this point. “I said I was fine!” I sat up as I spoke and the world spun around me. My stomach churned and I grabbed the garbage can beside the bed and threw up violently into it. Logan jumped back a couple feet as I continued to throw up. It seemed like hours passed as I kept my head in the can. Finally, there seemed to be nothing left in my stomach and I rolled back onto my bed groaning, “Fuck. Maybe I am drunk.”

Drake chuckled quietly, “No shit Chloe.”

I glared at him, “Just say what you came here to say asshole.”

My insult didn’t seem to faze him as he continued to stare down at me. “We came to tell you to decide who you want. Both of us want you, but what you want is what really matters. Whoever you don’t chose will back off. No questions asked.”

I could see the pain in his eyes as he spoke. The last thing I remember doing before darkness took over was muttering the only truth I knew at that moment. “What if I want both of you?”

             
The next morning, the world exploded inside my head as I opened my eyes.

“Holy crap! How much did I drink last night?” I yelled. Pain tore into my head with renewed vengeance at the sound. Grabbing my head I moaned and rolled onto my stomach. Finding the pillow, I quickly pulled it over my head to shield myself from the sun shining cheerfully into the room.

I
laid there, willing my stomach and head to cooperate with me. After a few minutes of pleading and self-loathing I gave up and slowly slid out from under the pillow. Still clutching my head, I made my way to the desk and grabbed a bottle of water and a couple pills to help my headache. I stood motionlessly for a few minutes before grabbing my bathroom bag and shuffled down the hall toward the showers. I slowly undressed, fearing the pain any sudden movement would cause. After taking the longest shower on record, I made my way back to my room and fell back onto my bed.

As I lay there, images of the previous night started flashing through my mind. Studying with Logan and telling him the truth, the fight, and finally both of them coming here to see me.

What if I want you both?
My heart seized as the memory surfaced from my cloudy mind. Had I really told them that? Of course I had, my idiocy really knew no bounds. I shot straight up in bed and my head protested. I ignored the pain as I grabbed my keys and ran from the room.

Knocking on Drake’s door was probably the hardest thing I had ever done in my life. I stood frozen as he opened the door and raised his eyebrows at the sight of me.

“Wow. I didn’t expect you to show up today,” he gave me a thoughtful look, “Or be conscious to be honest.”

“Can we talk about last night please?” I almost hoped he said no to my request, that he would tell me to come back later. Instead he nodded and stood aside, allowing me entrance. I moved swiftly past him and walked to the couch. I was beginning to really hate this couch, every bad thing between us had started on it.

Unlike last time, he sat down beside me and took my hand into his own. I looked down at our joined hands, and such a simple sight took my breath away. How was I going to do this to either of them? At the end of this, all three of us would walk away shattered, utterly broken.

The truth was that I loved Drake, more than breathing, more than anything, but I knew in my heart that I loved Logan too, just in a different way. I couldn’t imagine surviving what I was about to do, but I had to do it. I had to set both of them free. Neither of them deserved the pain I had caused them, and I was going to make this right.

I looked up into his eyes, memorizing them before finally speaking, “I love you Drake,” His eyes lit up with such joy I almost stopped there, “But I love Logan too.” The light in his eyes faded and he looked away from me.

“I’m so sorry that I hurt you, and if I could, I would take it all back,” My eyes burned as tears threatened to spill over. I took a deep breath before finishing my death sentence, “I’ll always care about you, but I think it’s best if we stay away from each other. All I do is cause you pain, and I can’t stand the thought of you hurting because of me.”

I reached up and gripped his chin, pulling his face back to me. The haunting look in his eyes nearly killed me, “Goodbye Drake.”

I started to stand, but stopped myself. If this was the end, I wanted closure. Still holding his chin, I pulled him to me and kissed him softly on the lips as my tears finally made their way down my cheeks. Without another word, I walked out the door.

I was still crying as I pulled into the parking lot of my dorm and shut off the car. I sat there trying to compose myself before I faced Logan. It took a lot longer than I expected, but finally my tears dried and I stepped out of the car and into the building. Before I knew it, I was standing in front of Logan’s door. I knocked softly and prepared myself for what was to come.

My heart had already broken once today and after this visit was over, I wasn’t sure there would be anything left. With Drake I had lost love, but when it came to Logan, I was losing more than just love. I was losing years with my best friend. As much as it hurt, I knew I was doing the right thing. My stomach twisted as he slowly opened the door and started at me.

Without a word, he turned back into the room and sat on his bed. I walked in, closing the door behind me. The look on his face said it all. He looked totally and utterly defeated.

He sighed before glancing up at me, “I lost didn’t I?”

I looked at the floor, “Not really. I’m so tired of hurting both of you Logan. I love you both, just in different ways. I’m not choosing him, but I’m not choosing you either.”

What was left of my heart shattered with my words, but I stood my ground. He stood and crossed the room to stand in front of me.

“I understand, and I accept your decision.”

Tears started falling from my eyes again, “I’m so sorry Logan. I ruined everything we ever had. I didn’t just lose my boyfriend, I lost my best friend in all of this mess.”

He pulled me into a tight hug, “You haven’t lost me as a friend Chloe, but I need some time before I can go back to the way things were. Just don’t give up on our friendship. I promise I won’t leave you.”

I hugged him back as hard as I could. “I understand. Thanks Logan,” I pulled away and made my way to the door. I opened the door to leave, “When you’re ready, you know where to find me.” I closed the door behind me as I left my heart lying on the floor.

Chapter Twenty

Picking
Up The Pieces

The following weeks were absolute torture.  Rachel, and to my surprise Jade, tried to cheer me up with unholy amounts of ice cream and girl time. I tried to act cheerful around them, but I felt utterly broken inside. Amber, who hadn’t been at the bar that night for some reason and had heard everything from Adam, refused to speak to me and I understood why. She loved Logan as much as I did and I had hurt him beyond repair. I missed her as much as I did Logan, but if I was truthful with myself, I missed Drake more than anything in my life. Every time I would see him around campus my heart would start fluttering like a hummingbird in my chest and I would feel dizzy. I would catch him staring at me from time to time in class, where he had taken his old seat several rows away from me, but he never approached me.

  I tried to keep myself busy at all times so I didn’t think of either of them, but they always snuck into my thoughts at the most unexpected moments, in the shower, when I was folding my laundry, even at work. My work was suffering miserably and I knew I was going to be called out on it. Finally, one evening Janet pulled me into her office.

“Listen Chloe, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you need to get your head on straight or I’m going to have to fire you. I don’t want to, but I’ve had so many complaints over the last few weeks, that there is no way I can keep letting this go on.”

I slumped into my chair and nodded, “I’m so sorry Janet,
I promise I’ll start trying harder. I’ve just had a lot of personal stuff going on, but that isn’t an excuse.”

She nodded and smiled at me, “I really do like you Chloe. Listen, take a week off to figure stuff out, and then come back in the Monday after next.”

I nodded and stood to leave, “When I come back, I promise things will be better.”

“I hope so Chloe. If you need someone, you know where to find me.”

As I closed the door behind me, tears formed in my eyes. I had cried more in the last few months than I ever had in my life. Even with my mom always being so shitty, I never cried this much. I waved goodbye to Vanessa as I left, leaving her with a questioning look on her face.

             
Speaking of my mother, I had thought I was safe after the phone call Drake had witnessed. Unfortunately, either she had been unable to locate me or she decided now was the perfect time to torture me. The calls had started coming through again this past week. I received as many as ten a day, sometimes in the middle of the night. I knew she was playing a game with me, but I refused to be part of whatever she was planning. My mother was a conniving and cruel hearted bitch and I was better off completely ignoring her.

             
My phone rang again on the way home, making it the sixth, or was it seventh, call of the day. When I arrived back at the dorm I checked my phone, and sure enough, another blocked number. I powered off my phone and walked up to my room. Rachel was lying in bed reading when I came in.

“You’re home early, what’s up?”

I threw my bag on the table and sat at the edge of her bed, “My boss kicked me out.”

Her eyes widened, “Oh no! Did you get fired?”

I shook my head, “No, she told me to take a week off and get my shit together. Don’t worry, I know I still owe you that free cup of coffee. I’ll make sure you get it before I get fired.”

She laughed and hit me over the head with a pillow. “You’re so dumb Chloe, I wasn’t worried about my coffee,” She looked thoughtful for a moment, “Actually,
I am. I’ll stop by the day you go back just in case.”

I laughed as I grabbed the pillow she was about to launch at my head again and quickly hit her back, right in the face. What ensued after that can only be described as the most epic battle of pillow fights known to man. By the time we were finished, feathers littered the floor and we were both in desperate need of new pillows.

“Opps,” Rachel giggled as we fell back onto the bed.

“Yeah, that would be a good description of what just went down. And now we have to clean up this mess.”

We spent the next twenty minutes picking feathers up off the floor, the bed, and out of our hair. I was grabbing a stray out from under my bed when a knock sounded at the door. Seeing as no one but Rachel and Jade wanted anything to do with me and Jade was at a show tonight, I let Rachel answer it. Whoever it was, they were obviously looking for her. I slowly made my way out from under the bed, careful not to hit my head as she opened the door.

Her startled gasp had me spinning around to see who was at the door. The garbage bag I had been holding slipped from my grasp and feathers went everywhere as I took in the sight of
Logan standing in the doorway. His gaze dropped to the mess at my feet and he chuckled, “Do I even want to ask?”

“Pillow fight,” I whispered as I took in the sight of him. I hadn’t seen him in weeks, not up close at least. He was still my Logan, except he had a ragged edge to him and his eyes held
a sadness within them. He looked like he was sleeping about as much as I was.

“Mind if I come in to talk?” he asked quietly.

Rachel held the door open the rest of the way for him as he entered, making his way to stand in front of me. Rachel stood by the doorway like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming Semi.