Torn (7 page)

“Okay, only some of what you just said is true, Sam,” Ethan told me. “He wasn’t really a doctor. And though he was killed by a man, we know exactly who killed him. And because we know that, you’re right when you say we knew him better.”

“I’m sorry, what? Wait, wait,
wait
.” I threw my hands up in disbelief. “He was too a doctor. He worked at the hospital until he joined the Doctors
Without
Borders program. He shared his practice with Mac.” I stopped. “Wait, I don’t understand. You say you know who killed him? Have you told the police?”

“No, Sam. In this life he was a doctor. In his real life he wasn’t so much a doctor as a...a healer. And we can’t tell the police. Even if they believed us, which I doubt, they’d never be able to catch who did it.”

I saw nothing but shadows as my world started to buzz. Faint whispers stung my ears but I couldn’t make out what was being said. All I could think about was that Lucas and Ethan were lying to me. I trusted them and they were lying to me. How could I believe any of this? I didn’t even know which part of the lie to focus on first.

“If you know who did it then call the FBI. Call
someone
. Someone must know what to do!”

“We can’t, Sam,” Ethan said.

“Like hell you can’t!”

“It isn’t possible,” Lucas interjected. “No one would take us seriously if we were to tell them the truth.”

I gave Lucas a look that should’ve killed him instantly. I was overflowing with anger. “How do you know? You haven’t told the authorities? My dad was murdered and you sit here doing nothing?
Truth?”
I slammed my hands onto the table. “You have no idea what the word means.”

Ethan stepped in before icicles could shoot from my eyes and kill his brother. “We can’t because he wasn’t human.”

I was momentarily paralyzed by this absurd revelation.

The familiar sensation of weight falling off my shoulders eased through me and I felt suddenly light, like I’d finally been freed from a straight jacket. I’d slipped outside of myself again. It had been happening ever since I could remember. Sometimes I was amused when it happened. It was kind of funny to watch myself when I had no control over what my body was doing. Other times, like now, all I wanted was to regain control quickly so I could try to reason through what was being said.

Right then, in that state, I was merely a puppet. A slave to whichever emotion decided to take over. And each time it happened, everything got a little darker, a little more muted. Colors washed each other out like a Monet painting was being rinsed off its canvas. Until my emotions calmed, all I could do was helplessly watch the interaction and hope I didn’t do anything regrettable.

I could see my body still seated at the table across from Ethan and Lucas. The look on my face was absolutely priceless. “Who wasn’t human?” I was saying.
“My dad?
The people who killed him? You really need to clarify what the hell you two are talking about.”

“Both,” Lucas offered, clearly having no idea there were now two of me in the room.

“Both what?”

“Both your dad and the one who killed him.”

I watched myself stand up and stare Lucas in the eye. He shivered as if he could feel ice roll off me. “Wait just a damn minute. You’re telling me that my dad wasn’t human? He was killed by ‘people’ who aren’t human? What the hell have you two been smoking? You’re forgetting just one little thing here—he’s as real as you and me. And if he wasn’t human, what does that make me?
A freakin’ alien?”

“No, Sam,” Ethan said. “Your dad was an angel. His job was to protect others. He was kind of like a doctor but a little more...” Struggling to find the word, Ethan looked at Lucas. For a few seconds neither of them spoke. Neither could seem to find the right word to explain it.

I could see my head whip as I looked back and forth between them. I had never been more confused and it didn’t look like I’d be educated on what was happening anytime soon. I could feel my body roiling in defiance.

“A little more ethereal,” Lucas finally said.

My other self stopped and stared at the two incredulously as some immoveable anger rattled inside my body. “Shut up. What’re you talking about? Do you even hear yourselves? You both must’ve taken crazy pills this morning. I won’t sit here and listen to this half-assed explanation. Somebody better start telling me the truth or I swear to God...”

“Don’t do that,” Lucas growled fiercely.

“Don’t do what?” My other self snapped back.

“Don’t swear to God.”

“Lucas, really?”
That was it. I could feel the last thread of my rationality quickly unraveling. “Screw you! And screw God! He took my dad, so excuse me if my manners aren’t up to par in order to satisfy some random deity that, as of a month ago, doesn’t exist to me. Angels? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Screw you. Screw both of you.”

Ethan stepped between us, trying to referee. “Sam, we know it’s hard to believe. We know it’s a lot to take in, but you have to let us explain.”

“Explain? You want me to let you
explain
?” I could see and feel my body begin to shake uncontrollably. “You know what? The only thing I want you to do is shut up. Just shut up! Just stop.” My other self shoved her hand at Ethan’s face. “This isn’t funny. My dad was a doctor. A doctor! He woke up every morning and ate his Cheerios with a glass of OJ and a cup of coffee, heavy on the sugar and cream. He got dressed, every day, in his shirt and tie, his stethoscope and spit shined shoes. He would come home, exhausted. He would take a shower like a normal human being after a hard day of work. We took turns making dinner. We watched baseball together and swam in our pool. He took his boat out on the weekends. He loved to fish.” I could feel tears sting my eyes.

“Damn it! He broke his thumb building me a swing set when I was seven! What kind of angel breaks their thumb? Just shut up! Don’t tell me I don’t know my dad. He was all I had. He tucked me in every damn night, Ethan. Don’t you fucking tell me about
my
dad.
He was real. He hugged me and kissed me and loved me. And now he’s dead. How can a fucking angel die?”

Horrified and helpless, I watched myself try to furiously storm out of the kitchen but Lucas suddenly blocked my path. Jesus, how’d he move so fast? Wasn’t he just sitting down?

“Sam...”

I saw the dark glint in my eye.
Words,
both deliberate and out of character, escaped my lips. “Get out of my way, Lucas, or I swear—
to God—
I. Will. Hurt.
You.”
As I watched the words leave my lips and hang above my body like some stupid cartoon bubble, the room became hazy. The kitchen window imploded, shattering glass shards all over Lucas.

Ethan covered his head in defense then rushed around the table, and grabbing my shoulders, whispered my name. He shook me but I couldn’t respond. I was no longer observing, but I was at a complete loss for words. Everything inside me froze solid with trepidation. I had no idea what just happened. I had no idea why it had happened. What the hell did I just do? Unsure of myself, I met Ethan’s gaze. He was searching my eyes for something that he couldn’t find. I took a step back to survey the kitchen. Glass was everywhere. The frame of the window was still intact but all the glass had shattered.

Ethan moved to help Lucas but he stopped him. “No, Ethan. Let her do it.”

“What?” Ethan looked more confused than when the window had shattered. At least someone was feeling the way I was.

“
It’s
okay, Ethan. Sam can fix it. Can’t you, Sam?”

My eyes finally focused on Lucas. He was covered in glass, bleeding everywhere and I slowly realized that he knew. I didn’t know how but he knew my secret. But he knew I could fix broken things. Shame washed over me at the fact that I’d kept this from them and Lucas had known all along. Who was I kidding? I wasn’t surprised, not really. They knew everything, anyway. They always knew everything. For the past few years, our minds had been so in sync that we’d been able to finish each other’s sentences.

“I don’t understand. Are you saying...
”
Ethan looked from me to Lucas.

“Sam is a healer, Ethan. Like James. Like you. I’ve seen her practicing in the woods. It’s amazing, really. I almost didn’t believe it myself. She can do this. She can heal me. Go on, Sam. Fix it. Focus. Concentrate, just like you do in the woods. Just like the twigs and branches and trees earlier today. Make the window whole again. I know you can do it. I’ve seen you do it. I have faith in you. I trust you.
Show Ethan what I’m talking about.”

Unsure, I slowly stepped over the broken glass, past Lucas. Ethan stared at me like he’d caught me in a lie and I quickly looked away from him. I was going to need to concentrate and I couldn’t do it while looking at him. I positioned myself between the window and Lucas. Glass glittered all around him and I could see trickles of blood on his arms and face where some of the shards had buried themselves.

Extending one hand to the window and the other to Lucas, I closed my eyes and concentrated. I focused on making the window solid again. I envisioned pulling those shards from Lucas’s skin. The air started swimming as the energy heated up. My concentration faltered a bit when I began to think about healing Lucas.
A twig, a branch, even a tree—
so
not the same as a person.
Recalling rocks from water was not willing glass to exit a body. I shook my head and forced myself to focus.

You can do this, Samantha. Focus.

Dad?
Could it really be him? All I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry, but I knew feeling sorry for
myself
wouldn’t help anyone. I summoned every bit of energy I had and concentrated on what I needed to do. In my mind I saw myself healing Lucas. I saw him unmarred.

When I opened my eyes and looked up at Lucas, he was giving me the most brilliant smile I’d ever seen and I was all the more determined to make amends. Palms fixed on my
targets,
I used all my energy to accomplish the task at hand. The air whirled around me like a mini indoor tornado and everything began to tingle as the atmosphere became electric. My lips began to move as unfamiliar words spewed from my mouth of their own accord.
Then just as quickly all was still and silent again.

I glanced at the window. Not a crack. I walked over and placed my palm on the pane. It was still warm to the touch but otherwise in one piece. I looked over at Lucas. Not a scratch. I slowly made my way over to him and began to trace my fingers where I knew there was glass a minute before, following where the blood had run across his skin.
Nothing.

My heart jumped. I’d healed him. With a shaky smile, I slowly pulled my hand away.

Holy hell.

My legs became jelly and I dropped to the floor. My head was pounding. I stared at my palms as I suddenly became very hot. It felt like it was over a hundred degrees in the kitchen. Sweat pooled on my brow. I felt faint and my vision swam a bit. I knew I needed to calm down, relax. My stomach flip-flopped and it felt like a million bugs were crawling all over me, but I was too weak to brush them off.

Ethan sat cross legged directly in front of me. Taking my hands in his, he told me to close my eyes. When I did, I saw light and darkness intertwine. I saw the shadows inside me dissipate though I somehow knew they would return. I felt the cool touch of softness surround me. My legs were no longer rubber and my headache had eased.

Ethan let go of my hands and smiled wryly. He brushed the hair out of my eyes. I had to look away before he saw my embarrassment.
Before he saw through me.
Looking more proud than angry, he said, “Well, well, well. Our little Sammy’s been holding out on us.”

Blushing from confusion, I said, “Yeah, I guess.”

Still smiling, Ethan said, “
It’s
okay. I’m impressed. It’s satisfying to know some of your gifts have started to shine through. You’re definitely a healer. Like your dad, like me. Now we know where to focus our training. We’ve been doing this blind so far. I know you probably need to rest but it’s very important we get through this conversation sooner rather than later.”

I took his hand as he pulled me to my feet, “I’m okay. I need to continue or I think I might just punk out.”

“You’re braver than that, Sam. We know you are. And even if we didn’t, that little display would’ve proved otherwise.”

Again with the confusing statements.
I wondered when I was going to understand. Sighing, I faced Lucas. He was smiling though I knew he should’ve been angry with me.

“Lucas, I’m really sorry. I never meant to—”

“
It’s
fine, Sam. I promise. But before we start over, I think you need to see something. This isn’t easy for me to show you but I feel
,
in order to speed this process along, you need to see it.”

A sudden burst of light momentarily blinded me. For a second I felt like a cornered dog that needed to strike out—a little disoriented and a lot defensive. I turned my head towards Lucas. It was a moment before I realized he was shirtless. Mesmerized by his amazing abs, I struggled to return his gaze.

What the
...

He was almost glowing as a faint trace of light outlined his body and the most beautiful and vibrant colors I’d ever seen surrounded him. His eyes had taken on the vividness of a fresh rainbow. Slowly, the gleaming hues expanded like an unfurling flag. It was as if the whole kitchen had been taken over by a box of crayons. Wild and surreal shades of gold, amber, and red blended softly as they stretched out beside him. All at once, in unison, massive appendages pulsed back and forth. Light ebbed and flowed with the movement. His posture tightened and his hands reached out to his sides. It was the most beautiful and captivating image I’d ever seen. My hand flew to my mouth as I took it in.

Lucas had wings.