Torn (19 page)

“But I...I thought I was just practicing my focus. You said the sword stuff would come later.”

“I thought so, too, Samantha. Nothing is going the way it’s supposed to. We thought you were too close to darkness to be prepared to fight it now. I think we may have been wrong about that. We need to go back to the house.
Now
.”

Back on solid ground, I tried to walk but pain drained my strength. Jesse offered me his sweatshirt since my fleece had been burned clean off. My stomach, sides and back had taken the worst of the burn. The skin was charred almost black. Blisters had formed and blood was oozing from everywhere. But at the same time, I could feel my body beginning to heal itself. I was surprised I hadn’t passed out already, but I couldn’t seem to lose consciousness, no matter how hard I tried.

As my brain desperately tried to shut down, I flashed back to my dream. The winged girl, my dad—

The thought distracted me from my pain-induced state like a jolt of caffeine. I studied my surroundings then quickly sifted and scanned through visions and memories to find the one I needed. “Wait, Jesse. I
have
been here before.”

“What? Sam, we need to go. I need to get you back to Ethan.” When I didn’t move, his face softened. “Okay. I guess you will be able to focus on healing yourself better if your mind is clear. Just relax and tell me what you remember.”

“I—I don’t remember the woods, but I do remember the cliff.
This cliff.
It was high and rocky, just like I remember and the sea was angry. My dad was here and the girl was here, too. There were lights dancing off in the distance...”

I had to pause a minute to work through the pain that felt like it was tearing my skin off, chunk by chunk. I found a flat rock and sat down gently, pushing my head between my knees until the pain induced nausea passed before I continued. “I remember the ground began to crumble at my feet as if I was supposed to fall into the crashing waves. I heard that hum, that buzzing sound.”

“There were lights and a buzzing sound?”

I gingerly walked over to the edge of the cliff and peered into the calm waves. “Yes. A weird noise that sounded, at first, like a low hum but as the sky darkened and the wind picked up, the noise became deafening. It was everywhere around me.
Within me.
I thought I would die from the sound. I heard it again just before we came here. There was something following Ethan and me in the woods. The noise was terrible.”

“So, this is where it is to happen,” I heard Jesse murmur.

“Where what is to happen?”

“The fight, Samantha.
They’re going to try to take you here.”

“Sebastian and his followers?
Here?” I looked around.
“When?
How?”

“Yes. Sebastian. I don’t know when and I don’t know how. I just know where. Right here is where the battle will take place.” He held his hand out to me. “Now, again, we must go.”

Panic pumped through me. Why was I here if they were coming for me? How did I know it wouldn’t be right then? I looked down at the sword in my hand. How did I know anything? “Jesse?”

“Yes?”

“I’m scared.”

“Me too, Sam.
Me too.”

CHAPTER 15

The walk back was almost unbearable. Jesse held me up the best he could. But although my wounds were healing at a faster-than-human rate, it was still excruciating whenever he touched me. Neither of us spoke of what happened. Time, for now, provided a blanket of quiet. The look of amazement that refused to leave his eyes pierced me. I replayed the incident over and over again in my mind as we struggled home, but I could make neither heads nor tails of what, exactly, had transpired. I was bruised, battered, and blistered. But I was safe.
For the time being.

As my body healed and the pain slowly faded, my memory became more and more hazy. I barely remembered anything but ice and heat. And somehow I’d come away with a sword. A sword forged out of rock and seawater. A sword I would use to fight a battle between darkness and light, good and evil. The only question was which side would I choose?

I knew which side I should be on, but I had a sinking feeling, it wasn’t the side I would end up on. I saw my own betrayal. I saw my anger overtaking me, and I was scared.
Scared to death.

We stepped out of the forest’s shadows and into the waning rays of sunlight. I had no idea what time it was. I was just happy we were finally
back
at the house. My clothes were
torn,
my skin looked as if someone had set fire to me. Blood had dried everything stiff and dirty. From the pain that persisted in my chest I was sure I had cracked a rib or two. I felt as though I would fall down at any given moment, and I welcomed oblivion to take me.

Suddenly, Ethan tore out of the house and ran directly to me, his eyes searching mine. “What the hell! Samantha...”
Are you all right
?

Do I look all right
?

What happened
?

Not now.

Sam...

I said not now, Ethan. We’ll talk later.

Concern filled his eyes.
“But the sword.”

Limping away, I left both Jesse and Ethan behind. I didn’t feel the slightest bit of remorse for shunning Ethan’s concern. I needed rest and time. Time to gather my thoughts and digest everything Jesse told me. The last thing I wanted to do was talk about anything that just happened. Let Jesse tell the story. Right now, I just wanted something familiar and comforting. I wanted my dad.

As I walked sluggishly up the stairs to my new room, I breathed a sigh of relief that I didn’t bump into Lucas or Scott. I closed my door, locked it, and did everything I could to avoid my reflection in the mirror. I didn’t want to look.

Heaviness weighed down my right arm, and I realized I was still carrying the sword.
What the hell am I supposed to do with this
?
So not in the mood deal with it, I quickly shoved it under my bed before easing down into the plush chair that looked as though it might have once belonged to someone old and comfortable, with a tacky sense of style.

The adrenaline that had carried me home was quickly receding. I curled up in the chair and finally allowed myself to feel all of the bruises and blisters. It was only then that I realized I was crying. I wasn’t sure how long the tears had been seeping from my eyes but I had a feeling they were visible when Ethan ran out of the house to greet me.

Ethan. What was I going to do about him?
My guardian angel.
How was that possible? He was always, until my dad died, so removed from me—always there but distant. It’s probably what he had to do and that made what we had shared a mistake. I wondered if there was some punishment waiting for him if anyone ever found out about our kiss and the fact that we almost...
Don’t think about that right now.
Everything was telling me I was on a one-destination course to destruction.

Totally miserable, I moved from the chair to my bed, sprawled out on top of the comforter, and allowed myself to really cry, not just streaming unconscious tears. I sobbed in pain and fear. I cried for memories and for the unknown. I let it all out. All I wanted was for Ethan to hold my hand, to hold me in his arms, to kiss the pain away. But that would only make things worse. I needed to show everyone I could handle this without help.

My body tingled and my skin stung as my mind floated randomly from subject to subject and thought to thought. What I needed to do was sleep, but my brain wouldn’t shut up and my nerves refused to stop dancing. I allowed myself one more moment of stretched out relaxation, before I forced myself to get off the bed. I needed something to do, to distract myself. Now that the pain had subsided, I was feeling antsy, as if a horde of ant raced over my skin.

Absentmindedly, I began to unpack my things, to make this room my own. The first thing I unpacked was my iPod speaker. I pulled my iPod out of my pocket, plugged it in and hit shuffle. I needed something, anything to ease my brain so I could think. I let the music permeate my surroundings until I began to feel calm. I found some relief in unpacking my duffle, in refolding my clothes, in organizing my closet.

As I grabbed the last pair of jeans from the bottom of my bag, I heard something hit the floor. Looking down at my feet I found the pouch that held my mother’s necklace. Despite my aches and pains, I bent down to retrieve it. I stared, fixated, at the pouch for a moment or two before I opened it slowly and poured the necklace into the palm of my hand. Silent tears fell as I walked to my mirror.

My mother.
There was so much I wanted to ask her. If only I could’ve had a minute, just one minute with her. I wanted to see her face, hug her, and hold her just once.

In the mirror, I got my first glimpse of what Ethan must’ve seen when Jesse and I had returned. Dried
blood,
blisters, and bruises covered my reflection. My hair was tangled and caked with dirt and seawater. My clothes were torn and the skin underneath, though healing more rapidly than it should have, was still a red-hot mess, while my eyes were slowly fading from black to blue.

Shaking my head, I readjusted my ponytail and slipped the chain over my head.

The moment it fell into place, the history of the fallen flashed through my head like it had just been downloaded. I saw the pain, the suffering, the brief moments of calm, and the destruction. I saw their fall. I saw the
Exiled
rise and the Faithful cower. I saw their punishment and their hope for redemption. I saw myself betrayed by a faceless entity that was strangely familiar.

It was too much.

I grabbed at the necklace and tried to take it off but it wouldn’t budge. It began to glow bright white. A flash of black was all I saw before I lost consciousness.

At some point in the night I woke up, fully clothed and sprawled out on my back diagonally across my bed. My wounds had healed over, leaving no scars. The searing pain was gone. I was left with only a few lingering, dull aches and pains. The necklace was closed in my fist.

Funny, I didn’t remember taking it off.
I didn’t even remember getting into bed. I really needed to start dealing with my exhaustion
before
it overtook me, as it had on so many occasions. It seemed I was always running myself until I passed out.

I rubbed my hands over my face and groaned. I was nowhere near rested but also far from sleep. The rumbling in my stomach reminded me that I hadn’t eaten dinner yet, not to mention I’d barely had any lunch. I changed into my pajamas. I figured no one would question a pajama-clad girl on her way for a late night snack. Positive there was a good chance everyone was sleeping, I braved the trip to the kitchen and whatever leftovers, if any, the boys hadn’t eaten. The closer I got to the kitchen, the louder my stomach growled. If I didn’t eat something soon, there was a good chance it would turn on me.

I rolled my eyes. My life was getting ever more complicated. Lost in my random thoughts, I made my way into the kitchen, realizing too late that I’d walked in on a suddenly hushed conversation.

Jesse was talking with three people I’d never seen before. The first was tall and gangly. As he eyed me, I noticed his face was scarred and ugly. I couldn’t suppress the gasp as my hand flew to my mouth. He was mesmerizingly hideous, and I stared too long and too hard. I forced myself to look away.

The second stranger was a girl, about my age. She was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen, but she didn’t look like she should be. She was all hair. Her hair was crayon black, like freshly laid asphalt. She had the fairest skin, almost translucent, and pale violet eyes spaced a bit too far apart. Her features were small but prominent against her slight frame and barely visible beneath all the hair. She had an otherworldly aura that promised strength, and I again couldn’t stop staring.

“Ahem,” Jesse cleared his throat before I was able to embarrass myself any further.

“Ah-hi-I-was-just-coming-down-to-get-something-to-eat.”
Tongue-tied, I was pretty sure that all came out as one word.

“You did miss dinner. Ethan made up a plate of leftovers for you. It’s in the fridge.”

I nodded and attempted to quickstep over to the refrigerator but Jesse interrupted. “Before that, please come over here and meet our guests. Sam, this is Branna, Cal and Noah. Friends, this is Samantha.”

Branna and Cal each nodded, their greeting intrigued but distant. The third, Noah, turned and locked his stare on me.

As if I wasn’t already embarrassed to be meeting complete strangers in my pajamas. At that point I felt like I might keel over from the flush I could feel creeping up from my toes. Noah was freaking beautiful. He was about Ethan’s height, wore beat up old jeans, a ratty t-shirt, and a leather jacket he had to have borrowed from James Dean. My admiration, however, was extinguished by the intense disgust he threw my way.

He was boring a hole into my brain with obvious distrust. He was judging me. I was being weighed and measured and clearly found lacking. For what, I wasn’t sure—unless Jesse had already described our afternoon of torture and horror. All I could do was act as though I was clueless. Pretend I was oblivious to the fact that he looked as though he wanted to kill me. If he wanted to judge me, I was gonna give him something to judge first.