Tormented (13 page)

The huge room we entered had one-hundred-and-eighty-degree views of the ocean. That never got old. I loved the ocean, particularly the saltiness on my skin and the fresh smell that could take me back to my childhood in an instant.

Bill stood in front of a bar that looked like it belonged in a club rather than in someone’s home. It was stocked with every kind of drink imaginable. All top-shelf stuff fit for the rich and famous.

“What’s your poison?”

If the atmosphere weren’t so tense, I’d laugh. Bill had hit it right on the nose. Alcohol was poison to me. I loved the shit, but it didn’t love me back. That didn’t stop me from having an intimate relationship with it—especially not when I was sinking like I was in that moment.

“Errr . . . Jack. Neat.”

Bill’s lips twisted into a smirk. “You like it strong, huh?”

Had he already figured me for a drunk? I watched as he took two large crystal glasses from the shelf, wiped them with a white cloth, as if they weren’t gleaming already, and poured us each half a glass from the black labelled bottle. Without a word, he slid mine across the granite top toward me, and then lifted his in a mock salute.

“Cheers.” He took a tentative sip, grimaced, and then knocked the contents of the glass back in one go without batting an eyelid. Fuck, the man was impressive. Following suit, I copied him, the fiery liquid burning down my throat and warming my insides.

“Cheers,” I said, as I placed my empty glass on the counter with an irreverent thud. If Bill was trying to outdrink me, he’d met his fucking match.

“You don’t fuck around, do you?”

Without missing a beat, I replied, “No. It’s not my MO.”

Bill laughed. “Yeah, I gathered that.” Without asking, he refilled our glasses, adding ice this time. He pointed to the stool, and I gratefully sat my ass down. This man meant business, and he was going to grill me. I had no doubt in my mind about that.

“Let’s cut to the chase. Neither of us are the type of man who beats around the bush. So let me ask you straight up. What is your intention with my daughter?”

Jesus. Fuck. Talk about shooting straight.

I swirled the ice in my glass, looking at the pattern it made as if it were the most interesting thing I’d ever seen. “If you’re asking if I’m planning to propose any time soon, the answer would be no.”

“I appreciate your honesty. At least you have that going for you.”

I smirked. It wasn’t a compliment.

“What else do you want to know, Bill?”
Might as well get it over with.

“There isn’t much else I don’t know about you. I have a file as thick as the one you have of me sitting on my desk.” His charming smile didn’t reach his eyes. They were cold and calculating, judging me.

I wasn’t really surprised. The man did his homework, exactly as I’d expect from someone in his position.

“There is one thing about you that really puts me off.”

I narrowed my eyes, bracing myself.

“Yeah?”

“The way you have no regard for life. It’s unhealthy, and I don’t want a man like you near my daughter.”

Say what you
really
mean, Billy Boy.

“If you’re talking about what happened with Jade—”

He cut me short. “That’s a tragedy, but I also can see that it was an accident. No. The thing that worries me is how you go into the most dangerous missions . . . expecting to get killed. What kind of man has a death wish so severe he has no regard for his own life?”

How in fuck did Bill know this?

Throwing a good portion of the drink left in my glass down my throat, I met Bill’s gaze. “That would be a man who has nothing to live for. A man who had his future ripped out from under him by criminal scum. Not only did those bikers kill Amy and our unborn child, they stole my future and my life.”

“You’re a twisted bastard, Summers. I don’t want the likes of you anywhere near Eva. She deserves a man who can promise her the best future possible.” His intense gaze burned into me. “Not somebody who is essentially already dead. I never believed in zombies, but fuck me, if you aren’t already the living dead.”

My back stiffened.

“It’s what makes me the best of the best at what I do. We can’t fight a powerful enemy if we fear him. Fearlessness is what makes
them
afraid of
us
.” I crashed my glass down on the granite top.
How the fuck dare he?
“I risk my fucking life so that everyone else can sleep safely at night. Ever thought of that, Bill?”

“Yeah, I understand.” His eyes hardened. “Still, I don’t want you around Eva. You’re going to break her heart, and she doesn’t need that shit. She’s had that done to her before . . . by Nolan and by me. I just don’t want to see her go through that again.” He clamped down on his jaw, gritting his teeth. “Do what you need to do but stay out of Eva’s life. If you don’t love her . . . and I don’t think you’re capable of that emotion, then let her go. Let her find someone who is worthy of her love, someone who can give her everything she deserves.”

Nausea pushed up into my gut. Bill was right. Eva deserved so much better than me. I could never give a woman like her what she needed, and she sure as hell didn’t need my demons or my brokenness or my darkness.

“I’ll think about it.” I emptied my glass and slammed it on the table. “Thanks for the talk and the drinks, Bill. I’ll see myself out.”

I rose to my feet, the whole world spinning on its axis. I grabbed my car keys off the counter and made my way to the door.

Stopping in my tracks, I turned toward the man who had just shattered my world.

“Tell me something. Was Eva coming here tonight?”

Without hesitation, Bill answered. “No. I called her this afternoon and cancelled. She’s out for drinks with a friend from work. Hopefully she meets someone nice. Someone who can take care of her in all the right ways.”

He fucking lied to me. Smooth, slick bastard.

“Thank you, Bill. And fuck you too.”

Normally I wouldn’t get behind the wheel of a car if I were over the limit. This wasn’t a normal day. My life was fucked. I had to let Eva go and let her find the happiness she deserved with a man who could give her everything I never could.

If I wrapped my drunken ass around a pole it was perhaps the smartest thing I could do. Maybe Bill knew that and had planned it all along by plying me with expensive booze.

Death would be a blessing. I was so fucking tired of my life. So fucking tired of being stuck in my head.

So fucking tired.

E
very damn call I’d made to Harrison’s phone had gone unanswered. Maybe he’d lost his phone. Or maybe he’d been sent on a sudden assignment. Or maybe, just maybe, he’d decided he was tired of me and I just wasn’t worth calling back.

I had no illusions when it came to Harrison. I already knew I wasn’t the love of his life. Some seventeen-year-old girl who had been immortalized in his mind and heart held firmly onto that position.

Try as I might, I couldn’t compete with a dead girl. She held all the cards. Every single Ace and every single Joker. She won, hands down. And the fact that she’d been pregnant with Harrison’s baby when she was tragically mowed down was like a double whammy.

Turning back to the task at hand, I packed the last of the boxes and taped them up. It was the second-last night I’d spend in that apartment. All that was left were the very basics: one plate, one set of flatware, one glass and a mug. The sheets on my bed and my toiletries. Two sets of clean clothes in the closet. The picture in the silver frame of my mother on the nightstand.

Other than that, the last five years of my life had been packed into cardboard boxes, waiting to be moved to my new home.

I checked my phone every few minutes, and even called one of my girlfriends I hadn’t spoken to in a while just to make sure the damn thing was still working and that there wasn’t a network problem. I hated feeling this damn vulnerable when a man didn’t call back, and hated that I had to make up stories in my head, looking for excuses for him.

My back hurt from shifting boxes all the way to the front hallway, so I finally decided to get an early night. I hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep since Dad had cancelled dinner, when Harrison hadn’t called me back after I’d left a message about meeting him in the city for dinner instead.

Fool.

Damn.

There I was thinking he’d be relieved not to meet my dad and spend the night with me instead. I’d even cut short my drinks with Emma and worn sexy underwear.

Brushing the hair back off my forehead, I wiped the sweat from my brow and ran a shower. I was damn exhausted, and suddenly my bed seemed like the only place on earth I wanted to be. Slipping out of my yoga pants and top, I stepped under the showerhead, welcoming the stream of pulsating water as it pummeled the surface of my skin.

While I was still busy soaping up my body, my phone rang on the counter. Yeah, I knew steam was bad for electronic devices, but I didn’t want to miss the call when Harrison finally got back to me.

I quickly dried one hand on a towel and grabbed the phone. The man was going to pay for putting me through all this anxiety.

“Hello, Mister,” I said in a low voice, trying to sound sexy yet serious.

A pause.

“Hey, sexy. God, I missed that voice. Did I ever tell you how much it turns me on?”

I held the phone a few feet from my face and through narrowed eyes I read the name on the screen. Yep.
Nolan
.

“How did you get my new number, Nolan?” I barked, my voice going to shrill and freaked out in seconds.

“You underestimate me, darling. You forget who I am.”

Pompous ass
.

“That’s impossible. You keep reminding me,
Senator
. And no, I don’t want to donate to your campaign, or whatever else you are calling about, so leave me the fuck alone.”

“Eva, that’s not the way to talk to me.”

“Listen, I’m tired and I have a headache. I’m not in the mood for bullshit.” I turned the tap off with one hand and stepped out of the shower.

A low chuckle followed. “Still my fiery girl. God, I miss you. I’m sorry I fucked up. Really, I am. Let’s put it down to temporary insanity—”

“Or you thinking with your small brain instead of your big brain,” I interjected. I pinched the phone between my ear and shoulder while I dried the rest of my body, rubbing vigorously the more frustrated I became.

“See, that’s what I love about you. Always something smart to say.”

Suppressing the urge to roll my eyes, I put on my most sarcastic tone. “It wasn’t meant to be funny, Nolan.”

“I know.” He sounded dejected, and I actually nearly felt sorry for him. “I deserve that you’re punishing me . . . I even get why. But you’ve got to believe me when I tell you that shit is never going to happen again. I realize what a fool I’ve been, and I want you back. I’m prepared to take the punishment you’re dishing out—even watching you let another man fuck you, as hard as that was. But don’t you think that’s enough? Don’t you think it’s time we kiss and make up and fix this whole mess?”

“Exactly what part of
it is over
don’t you understand?”

A long, drawn-out silence followed.
Maybe there is something wrong with my phone.

I was just about to put the cell down when Nolan spoke again. His voice was decisive and cold, yet devoid of emotion.

“It’s not over, Eva. Not until I say it is.”

A chill ran up my spine. This was the side of Senator Parker that frightened me. How could I ever have thought I was in love with this man?

“You only want me back because you think you’re missing out on something. But you’re not. We would never have made it as a couple. I didn’t see it at the time, but it’s glaringly obvious to me now.” I moved from the bathroom to the bedroom and opened a drawer from the dark wood chest of drawers to find sleepwear. “Move on. Find someone else. Women think you’re the shit; you shouldn’t have a problem finding a willing candidate to suck your dick.”

“Yeah, I know. But none of them have your fire. No other woman is anything like you. After I’ve fucked them, they bore me. And you know how much I hate being bored.”

I nearly laughed.
Nearly.
He wanted me back because I didn’t bore him? I’d smack myself on the head if I ever fell for a man that shallow again. Not once had he said anything about
loving
me. As usual, it was all about him—his likes and dislikes, his needs and wants.

“Goodnight, Nolan. I’m ready for bed.” I squeezed the tube of toothpaste from the middle, exactly the way he hated, depositing a squiggly line of toothpaste onto the brush.

“Wait. Don’t go.”

I shoved the toothbrush into my mouth and started brushing.

“What?” I asked, speaking with a mouth full of minty foam. I was well and truly over this conversation.

“Give me another chance. Let me take you on a date tomorrow night.” Nolan had put on his most persuasive smooth and silky voice. How did I ever think it was fucking sexy?

I spat the toothpaste out and rinsed my mouth. Tired and irritated, I raised my voice. “I’m going to say this one last time, so listen very carefully. We. Are. Over. Done. Finished.”

Heavy breathing came at me down the line.

Frustrated, I threw the phone against the wall, letting it smash to the floor.

Wrong man. Wrong everything.

A
t first I wanted to tell Bill to go fuck himself. So I did.

It didn’t make me feel any better. By some fucking cruel miracle, I’d made it home in one piece. That’s how much God hated me; I couldn’t even get myself wrapped around a fucking pole and put an end to my miserable fucking life.

Stumbling through the darkness, I bumped into several pieces of furniture before I fell face down onto my bed. So many thoughts raced through my intoxicated brain that I had a hard time shutting up the voices.

You fool. What made you ever think you were good enough for a woman like Eva?

What kind of
man
are you?