Torch Red: Color Me Torn with Bonus Content (21 page)

He smiles now. “Not at all, babe. Make yourself at home.
Mi casa es su casa.
”

“Okay,” I say with my best smile. “Why don’t you pour me
another glass of champagne while I change?”

“You got it, babe.”

So I walk toward the bathroom, which is near the door. Then, grabbing my sweatshirt, I head straight for the door and quietly let myself out. I’m not sure if he heard, but I waste no time heading for the elevator. And to my relief there’s another couple already waiting there. At least Justin won’t be able to make a scene if he catches up with me.

My heart is still pounding as I ride the elevator down. I try not to look at the couple as they hold hands and look at each other like star-crossed lovers. I mean if love is anything like what I just experienced in room 1733, well, they can have it! Finally, I am in the lobby. But what should I do now? Who should I call? If I’d thought to bring a purse (which I felt certain would spoil my outfit) I could hire a taxi. Expensive maybe, but worth it. As it is, I don’t even have my cell phone with me tonight. How stupid could I be?

I know I could, maybe should, call my parents, but I really don’t want to. For one thing, this is so totally humiliating. I mean what are they going to think, having to pick me up at a hotel? And what do I tell them? How do I explain what happened to Justin? I put on my sweatshirt and stuff my hand into the pockets as I walk over to one of the phones, which I assume are for guests to use. But then I’m a guest, aren’t I? Like Justin said, he paid plenty for that room. I try not to think of what he might be doing now. Perhaps riding the elevator down, ready to grab me by my ponytail and drag me kicking and screaming back to his room.

My hand nervously fingers something in my pocket and I pull it out to discover it’s the business card that Nate gave me at the soup kitchen today. I look at the phone number on it and wonder if he was serious about that “call anytime” bit. Well, it’s worth a try. So I
dial his number thinking he’ll probably be doing a gig with his band, or maybe he’s out on a date with (I’m sure) some nice Christian girl, maybe Casey Renwick. No, besides the fact that she doesn’t date, she’s not even his type. But I’m so shocked when he answers on the second ring that I start crying, and then I blubber out this totally lame explanation for where I am and why I need his help, saying, I’m sure, way too much. What is wrong with me?

“Take a deep breath,” he tells me. “And try to calm down.”

“I’m sorry,” I tell him. “I shouldn’t have bothered you, I’ll figure out some—”

“No, it’s okay, Zoë,” he assures me. “I’m coming to get you, but I just don’t want you to fall apart before I get there.”

“I—I won’t,” I tell him, glancing over my shoulder to make sure that Justin isn’t nearby.

“I’m leaving right now,” he tells me. “And I’ll be there as soon as I can, but it’ll still probably take about fifteen minutes. Are you in a safe place?”

“I’m in the lobby.” I look around the area. “And there are people all around the place. I’ll wait by the fountain. It’s right in the middle.”

After I hang up, I cautiously walk across the lobby and sit on a padded bench right next to the fountain. It’s in direct view of the registration desk, where there seems to be a constant flow of people. To my relief, Justin doesn’t make an entrance. I wonder if he even knows that I’m gone yet. Or maybe he’s already drunk himself into a stupor. I feel something scratching on my wrist and remember the corsage that’s now stuffed into my sleeve. I wrestle the stupid thing out and toss it into a nearby trash can. It’s not like I’ll be saving any mementos from this evening.

A wild mix of feelings rush through me as I wait for Nate to get there. Like why didn’t I realize that something like this would happen
tonight? And is it my fault? I did lead Justin on. And was it a mistake to wear such a sexy dress? Like what kind of a message did I want to send anyway?

But on the other hand, what right did Justin have to
expect
that we’d have sex? I mean just because he put out for a fancy meal and a hotel room, which he never even asked me about, does that mean I have to surrender my virginity to him? I don’t think so.

And suddenly I am thinking maybe my virginity is actually worth something. Like maybe I really don’t want to throw it away too easily. And I even wonder why I’ve been so worried about being one of the last remaining virgins on the planet. Maybe it’s a good thing.

N
ATE WALKS INTO THE HOTEL LOBBY AND
I
TRY TO REMEMBER WHEN
I’
VE
been so glad to see anyone. Maybe back when I was five and got lost at the mall and then my mom showed up and rescued me. But that’s sort of how I feel as Nate walks toward me now. Even so, I find myself looking over my shoulder, still worried that Justin might show up and make my exit difficult.

“Thanks so much for coming,” I quickly tell him. “We should probably get out of here, pronto.”

“Have you seen him?”

“No. I was actually hoping that he knocked himself out with whatever it was he was drinking. He had a whole bottle of champagne, plus a big bottle of something else that looked even stronger. Maybe whiskey.”

“Do you think he’ll be okay?”

I consider this and wonder if I even care. “I don’t know. . . .”

“Maybe we should let the desk clerk know and have someone check on him.”

“Oh, I’m not sure—”

“I’ll call on my cell,” he says as he picks up a hotel brochure from a rack just outside the door. “The phone number is right here.”

And so, once we’re safely inside of Nate’s pickup, he asks me the
room number then calls the hotel. “We’re concerned about a guest in room 1733,” he says in a very mature voice. “He’s by himself and consuming an unhealthy amount of alcohol. Plus he’s underage.”

I feel my eyes growing wide at this tip. Is Nate trying to get Justin busted?

“That should take care of it,” he says after he hangs up.

“But won’t he get in trouble now?”

Nate starts his pickup. “Nah, the hotel wouldn’t want to call the police or anything; it would make them look bad. But the underage part will probably make them feel responsible enough to check on him.”

I sigh in relief and lean back into the seat. “How did you get so smart?” I ask.

“It’s part of living,” he tells me.

I kind of laugh. “Are you trying to tell me that you’ve been around stuff like this before?”

“What makes you think I haven’t?”

“Let me think,” I say for effect. “Maybe the fact that you’re such a nice guy, not to mention a Christian?”

“That doesn’t mean that I haven’t been around and seen a few things.”

I study him for a moment. “Are you saying that you lead some kind of double life?”

Now he laughs. “Not exactly.” He’s pulling out of the parking structure to the street now. “Hey, do you want to stop for a coffee or anything?”

“Sure,” I say. “That would probably help to clear my head before I go home.”

So he takes us to Jitters Java, a coffee shop that’s a few blocks away from the hotel and I continue to question him about his double life.

“Like I said, it’s not a double life,” he tells me as we sit down with our coffees. “It’s just that I’ve seen my older brother mess up a lot. I’m usually the one who has to go out and rescue him. I guess I’ve learned a thing or two from his mistakes.”

I nod. “I have a sister like that. I’ve covered for her a few times, but I’ve never really rescued her. She usually just called my parents when she got into big trouble. I just couldn’t stand to do that tonight.”

He takes a sip of coffee. “Well, our mom is single and she’s not a really strong person, if you know what I mean. She has her own demons to deal with.”

I consider this. For some reason I just assumed that Nate came from the kind of family that you’d see sitting in the front row of church every Sunday. “Oh.”

“It’s not like she wouldn’t do more if she could. But it’s all she can do just to get herself to work every day without falling apart, you know.”

I nod like I know, but I really don’t. I mean my parents are like the most solid, steady people I know. I couldn’t imagine what it would feel like if they weren’t. Suddenly I’m realizing there’s a lot more to Nate than meets the eye. “What happened to your dad?” I ask.

“The usual. He met someone he liked better than my mom. Someone who didn’t have all the baggage my mom had. He lives about a thousand miles away. But at least he’s fairly regular with his alimony and child support. That’s something.”

“I’m sorry.”

He peers at me. “Why?”

“I mean about your dad, your parents . . .”

He waves his hand. “Oh, that’s okay. I learned a long time ago that God makes a better father anyway.”

“Huh?”

“I was thirteen when my dad ran out on us. At first I was really angry. I mean here’s my mom with two boys to raise, and she’s already unstable, and she didn’t even have a job at the time. What kind of a jerk would do that?”

I nod and listen.

“I spent about a year being mad. You might even remember what an attitude I had during middle school.”

I shrug. “I just figured you were going through something.”

“Oh, I was. I really was. But that’s when I met Pastor Leon. He’s pretty amazing. Anyway, he got through to me and I finally gave my life to God.”

“And that changed everything?” I can hear the skepticism in my voice, but Nate doesn’t seem to mind.

“No, that didn’t change everything.” He takes another sip. “But it started changing me.”

“How did it change you?” I’m actually interested in hearing this. I mean after tonight, I think there are probably some things I wouldn’t mind changing about myself.

“Well, first of all, it gave me someone to talk to, someone to take my problems to—”

“You mean Pastor Leon?”

“Not exactly, although I knew he would listen. But I’m talking about a relationship with God, Zoë. It’s like he really did become my father. And I could talk to him about anything. Not only that, but it’s like he gave me some real direction for my life. Like I wasn’t lost anymore. I had some guidelines and some idea of where I was going.”

“Kind of like a compass?”

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

I listen as Nate talks about God like he’s his best friend. And, despite myself, I am being more and more drawn in.

“Lots of things changed,” he continues. “Like instead of just looking at myself and feeling sorry for poor old me, I began to care about others. And the more I cared about others, the less cruddy my life seemed.”

We’ve both finished our coffee now, but I feel like I could keep listening to him all night. How weird is that? But even weirder is this feeling that’s growing inside of me. I’m not even sure how to describe it. Maybe it’s hope.

“Sorry to go on and on,” says Nate as he looks at his watch. “Oh, man, it’s almost midnight. Do you have a curfew?”

I shrug. “My parents are pretty laid back. But I suppose I shouldn’t push my luck.”

“Yeah.” He stands. “I should get you home.”

We continue to talk as he drives me home. Suddenly I am full of questions about what he believes and how he can be so sure it’s real and how did he know that he wasn’t just imagining things and so on.

“It’s about faith,” he finally says when we’re in front of my house. “It’s hard to explain, but it’s something God actually plants inside of you. I guess you know it when it happens.”

“How do you know?” I demand, unwilling to get out of his pickup without this information. “What does it feel like?”

“It probably feels different with everyone. For me it was just this sudden burst of realization, I guess. Kind of like a hunch that you know you have to act on before you lose out. Does that make any sense?”

I nod. “A little.”

“The thing is,” he continues, “if God is really planting faith in you, I think you’ll know it, Zoë.”

“I hope so.” Then I reach for the door handle. “Thanks for rescuing me tonight, Nate.”

He grins. “Once again, it’s Nate to the rescue.”

“And thanks for everything else too.” Then I get out of his warm pickup and run up to the house. I turn to look back and he’s still waiting there. I guess he wants to make sure I get into my house safely. I wave at him then go inside.

My parents have already gone to bed, but my dad calls out good-night as I tiptoe to my bedroom. I answer him and go into my room and shut the door. But as I get ready for bed, I feel wide awake. Maybe it’s the coffee or just the adrenaline that’s still rushing through me from the events of the evening. But I know I won’t be able to go to sleep for a while. I’m thinking about what Nate said. And I’m thinking about this tiny feeling of hope that keeps flickering. In light of what happened with Justin, it doesn’t quite make sense. Like shouldn’t I be all bummed and worried right now? But there it is, this tiny spark of something that came from who knows where Could it be from God? Could it be what Nate was calling faith?

And suddenly I am actually down on my knees. Now how weird is that? But it’s like I’m caught up in this moment, like I’m afraid to let it slip by unnoticed, like I might miss out on something that could change my entire life. But I have no idea what to do now. Or what to say.