Together We Heal (26 page)

“I know,” I said when he put me down. “I kept thinking you were with me, but then you weren’t. It was totally weird.” We sort of laughed together and I kissed him hard.

“Wait, wait. I want to know how your day was before we get naked,” he said, pulling away. What was he talking about? I looked down and realized I was starting to pull his shirt up. Oops.

I yanked my hands back.

“My bad.”

“You don’t have to stop. We could talk after…” That was all the encouragement I needed. Another storm started and in the aftermath there were bits and pieces of clothes everywhere and Max and I were sweating and out of breath. Thank God we’d both bought huge boxes of condoms so we wouldn’t get stuck again.

“Well. Can’t say I’ve ever done that before,” he said. Somehow we’d ended up trying the sixty-nine position and had gotten each other off that way before going for a second round missionary style.

“Nice, me neither. Well, not with a guy,” I said and then cringed. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, it’s fine,” he said, taking my hand and kissing it. “It doesn’t bother me. Maybe just don’t tell me that stuff right after we’ve had sex.” That was a good plan.

“Hey, question,” I said.

“Uh huh.”

“Who do you think decided it was called missionary position? Like, was that a common position for missionaries to have sex?” He laughed and smacked my ass.

“I have no idea, but it would be interesting to Google it and find out. I bet the truth is much more dull than anything you could come up with in that crazy sexy brain of yours.” He tapped my head.

“I like it when you call my brain sexy.”

“Your brain
is
sexy. Along with the rest of you. You’re all sexy all the time.” I’d never thought of myself that way, but hearing Max say it so much was starting to help me to feel it.

“So, can we talk about your day now?” he asked. It was late, but I didn’t care. I’d sacrifice sleep for Max. I’d sacrifice almost anything for him.

“Uh huh.” I told him about classes and my session with Beth.

“So she knows everything?” he asked and I couldn’t tell if he was upset about that or not.

“Yes. Does that bother you?”

“If I’m going to be honest, a little, but I understand that it’s easier to tell someone you don’t know very well your secrets than it is to tell someone in your life. I’m not mad. You did tell me and that’s what matters.” Okay, good.

“She thinks that I should tell Stryker before I tell anyone else,” I said. It made sense, but it wasn’t going to be easy. I couldn’t do it over the phone. It would have to be in person and I didn’t want to do it at one of the group dinners.

“That seems like a good idea. When do you think you’ll do it?” Ugh, I didn’t know. I had to get used to the idea that Max knew. Maybe next week? I couldn’t do it all at once. It was just too much.

“There’s no pressure. No time crunch,” he said, running his fingers through my hair. “Don’t worry about it.” But I did and I would worry about it. At least until I knew for sure.

I flipped things around and asked him about his day.

“Have you talked to your mom lately?” I asked.

He immediately clammed up and didn’t want to talk anymore. I grabbed his chin and held his face so he couldn’t look away from me.

“Hey now. I just told you something really personal. And I’ve been opening up a lot to you. So I’d like it if you did the same. Okay?” He nodded and I let go.

“So, have you talked to your mom lately?” I asked again.

“No. I’ve been ignoring her calls.” She’d called me on my birthday, but I’d let it go to voicemail.

“Max,” I said. “You shouldn’t do that. Call her back.” He sighed and rolled over onto his back and put his hands behind his head.

“It’s not that simple,” he said.

“Why not? You’re never going to get anything resolved until you talk to her.”

He turned on me.

“And why don’t you talk to Stryker? We’ve got a pot and kettle situation going on right now.” I hated to admit it, but he did have a point. I couldn’t give advice about dealing with family when I wasn’t dealing with my own.

“I’ll make you a deal,” I said, flipping over on my stomach and propping myself up on my arms. “If I tell Stryker, you agree to really have a talk with your mom. In person. Face-to-face.” He blanched and I thought he was going to tell me there was no fucking way. But I waited and then he stuck his hand out.

“Deal,” he said. We shook on it, but he didn’t let go of my hand. Instead, he yanked me toward him until I was sprawled on top.

“I think we need to do something more than a handshake to seal this particular deal,” he said, his eyes sparkling with dirty thoughts.

“Oh yeah?” I said, pretending I had no idea what he was talking about. “And what did you have in mind?”

“Well,” he said, jacking his hips up. “It involves you and me and very specific parts of our anatomy interacting together.” I tapped my chin, pretending to think about it.

“I think that can be arranged. Maybe.” All of a sudden he growled and I found myself being flipped over. He was getting really good at that.

“Get on your stomach,” he said, his voice deep and commanding. Oohhhhhh, that was new. And it was fucking hot.

I gave him one last look before I did what he wanted. He yanked my legs around and got me positioned just the way he wanted me.

“Now I think you need a demonstration of what I was talking about. Sometimes words can’t really convey an idea,” he said, and I turned my head to the side so I could see him in my peripheral vision.

“I’m on board with this idea,” I said a little breathlessly.

“I’m so happy you said that,” he said, giving me a wink before spreading my legs and then pulling my hips up so my ass was in the air and my chest was still on the bed. It wasn’t the most comfortable position, but then…

“Oh, shit,” I said.

“See? Isn’t this better than a handshake?”

I could only moan in response.

I CERTAINLY ENJOYED
the “sealing” of the deal with Trish, but I wasn’t so keen on actually following through on it. I hadn’t been home in months. I only went home when I absolutely had to and I even considered taking summer classes so I could stay in the dorms all year round. Plus, I could probably graduate early if I did.

I also avoided confrontations with my parents as much as I possibly could. Actually going and starting one seemed idiotic, but I’d made a deal and I wasn’t going to go back on it. Besides, talking to my mom wasn’t nearly as scary as Trish telling her brother about her sexuality. Basically, she was way braver than I could ever hope to be.

A few days later we had another dinner at Stryker and Katie’s. I didn’t think Trish really wanted to talk to him in front of everyone, and I was a little surprised when she was fine with going.

“You’re not going to tell him, so why are you so nervous?” I asked as she jittered in the car. I’d finally gotten it registered and insured and even though both of those things cost me an arm and a leg, the car itself was still free, so I couldn’t turn my nose up at it.

“I know, I know. I just have this crazy feeling that he’s going to
know
.” That made me bust out laughing.

“Trish, if he hasn’t figured it out by now, I’m pretty sure your secret is safe.” She nodded and stared out the window.

“IT’S TACO THURSDAY.
Or something,” Stryker said. “Katie has been craving guac, so this is what we’re having.” He said it as if he dared anyone to say anything negative about the insanity of having tacos on a Thursday night.

“I love tacos,” we all said so as not to anger the beast, because he and Katie were stressed with both the baby and the wedding. Katie looked like she hadn’t slept in days and Stryker was irritable and short with everyone.

“I feel like we should all do some deep breathing and have a group hug,” Simon said. He’d recently joined the yoga club and had been driving us all up the wall with Namaste and Savasana and whatever the hell they did. Some of those insane poses didn’t look relaxing at all.

“Pass,” the rest of us (except for Brady) said in unison. We seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

“Fine,” Simon said and he was grumpy for the rest of the night. Everyone seemed to have a case of the surlies and Trish was still freaking out a little.

There was a lull in the conversation, but it was broken by none other than Trish.

“I’m bisexual!” she yelled out as she stood up from the couch. Everyone froze, some mid-chew and some just about to bite into their tacos.

“I thought you weren’t going to do it tonight,” I said, setting down my taco and looking up at her. The blood had drained from her face as she realized what she’d said.

“Yeah, well,” she said, shrugging. I looked around and no one wanted to be the first one to say anything. That wasn’t exactly a good sign. My eyes rested on Stryker. He cleared his throat, set his plate down and then went to Trish. He stopped just in front of her.

“I knew. I always knew and it never mattered.” With that, he put his arms around her and then it was like dominoes.

“Girlfriend, I’m gay, so welcome to the LGBTQIA club!” Simon said, no longer sullen. “You should totally join our alliance! We need more bi people!” Simon was perhaps the most excited about the revelation, but everyone else expressed their love and support.

It was one big Trish love-fest and it seemed like this was how it was supposed to happen. All at once. That was how Trish did everything else. She wasn’t a cautious person at all and that was one of the things that made her so great. Full throttle. All the way.

Trish cried again, but she smiled through the tears.

“I thought you were all going to hate me,” she said. Granted, she hadn’t shared the little bit about Ric, but not everyone needed to know that. Stryker, yes, but not anyone else.

“None of us could hate you, you moron,” Lottie said, wiping away tears of her own. “We all love you.”

Trish searched for me and I reached out my hand to her. She took it and I pulled her under my arm and kissed her temple.

“I told you so,” I whispered in her ear. She reached up and gave me a titty-twister. I hunched over to protect myself.

“Ow! Ow! Leave those alone, they’re attached!” She just gave me an innocent look.

“Whatever. Don’t be smug,” she said.

“You are so going to get it when we get back,” I said, pointing at her.

“Okay, okay, enough,” Stryker said. “I don’t need to hear this crap.”

Trish rounded on him.

“Are you fucking kidding me? After all the details you told me about your sexcapades?” Stryker blanched and looked at Katie. Her eyes narrowed.

“What sexcapades?” Katie asked in a low, dangerous voice. Slowly, everyone edged away from her.

“Why did you that to me?” Stryker said to Trish. She just blew him a kiss.

“Have fun, big brother.” Katie grabbed his arm and hauled him back into the bedroom. Normally Katie wasn’t super insecure, but I bet the pregnancy hormones were putting her a little out of whack. Or a lot out of whack. There was yelling and that was definitely Katie’s voice.