To Mend a Broken Heart (8 page)

“Better than a cold beer?” he turns his face to me, I can’t see his eyes but I know they are looking at me.

“Much.” I hand him a glass and await his reply.

“It is good. Really good,” he takes another sip and sighs, “Yes, I’ll be happy to drink this.”

We spend the afternoon drinking and chatting. When talk turns to Poppy’s mother I see a dark shadow cross his face. He turns his head to me and takes a deep breath.

“We hadn’t been together very long at all, she was a complicated woman. When she found out she was pregnant, we were both shocked. We always used protection, but nothing is one hundred percent reliable, other than abstinence I guess. She didn’t want Poppy, not that we knew it was a Poppy at the time.” he reaches over and tops up both our glasses before he continues.

“I begged her not to terminate the pregnancy. I wanted our baby as soon as I knew they were on their way. I had very loving parents, I’ve always wanted to be a father. She agreed to keep the baby, but insisted she wouldn’t be there for them when they arrived. I looked after her, I paid for anything she needed and I got the house ready for their arrival.”

“That’s awful, Daniel.”

“Every woman has a choice. I don’t know if many women would put their body through pregnancy when they had no intention of being a mother. But Lydia did. When she went in to labour, she phoned me. I arrived at the hospital with minutes to spare. When Poppy came into the world, she screamed, she screamed the whole hospital down… Until she was placed in my arms. Then she stopped. She looked at me and she stopped crying.”

“She knew her Daddy.” I smile.

“She knew she was loved. Lydia told the nurses she didn’t want to meet her daughter, she didn’t want to be involved. She never even looked at her, Katie. She was handed to me and Lydia was wheeled out of the room. To this day, she doesn’t know about Poppy. She doesn’t know what an incredible little girl she is, doesn’t know what happened. I never saw her again.”

“I don’t understand that, I don’t understand how you can turn your back on your own child.”

“She didn’t want a family, she made that perfectly clear to me. I’m not really sure why we were together. We were polar opposites… Anyway, I brought Poppy home and we settled into life together. Those first few months, the night feeds, the lack of sleep, they were the best months of my life. Bonding with my daughter, they were incredible. Every minute, of every day, I fell more in love with her.”

“You did an amazing job, Daniel.”

“I was both mother and father to her.”

“No. You were so much
more
than that, so much
better
than that. You were her hero.”

He just smiles at me, a calm kind of sadness on his face. Life is so cruel. Daniel gave everything he had to be a father and his daughter was taken away from him. I don’t understand it at all.

“It’s so unfair.”

“It is. But it isn’t our place to question the path we’re destined to take. My life has been enriched and made perfect having my daughter, even if it wasn’t for as long as it should have been. If I had never met Lydia, I wouldn’t have had Poppy. And if I hadn’t have had Poppy, there would be a part of me that would never have been awoken. I have to be thankful for that.”

“You’ll have that chance again, Daniel. There is someone out there who will give you more beautiful children.”

He removes his sunglasses and looks at me, he looks at me so intently I shiver. The look says more than words ever could. The look tells me he thinks there is someone out there too, but it says even more than that. It looks like he thinks he’s already found that person.

“I hope so, Katie.”

“I’m sure of it.” I smile.

“Are you hungry?” he gets to his feet and walks over to the barbecue.

“Starving.”

“Let me light up while you make us another jug.” he smiles.

“You got it!” I call, heading back into the kitchen.

* * *

“So you’re a wedding co-ordinator?” Daniel asks me.

We’ve stuffed our tummies with more food than was necessary, and I’ve just finished the last of my coffee and six
After Eights
Daniel forced on me.

“Yes, at a local venue. I haven’t been at work since, well,
you know.
But I am hoping to get back there soon. I’m just not sure I can help couples plan their dream wedding without bursting into tears right now.”

“It must be a wonderful job… when things aren’t so difficult.”

“It really is. You see some really strange things though. Like one couple,” I begin, taking an
After Eight
from the box while Daniel grins at me, “They had a wildlife theme. The tables were all named after wild animals. And in the evening, they changed and became a lion and lioness.”

“Really?” he laughs.

“Yes. It was so incredibly strange. Not everyone is weird though, some couples are just lovely.”

“Did you ever do a nudist wedding?” he asks cheekily.

“No I did not!” I laugh, throwing my empty balled up
After Eight
wrapper at him.

“I had to ask, in my days as a photographer, a friend of a friend was getting married, it was a nudist wedding, they asked if I would be their photographer. I had to say no,” he shakes his head, “I mean, where would you look?”

I don’t know why it makes me laugh, I think it’s Daniel’s serious face when he says it. But I laugh so much tears are streaming down my face. When I finally get it together enough to take a normal breath, I look at Daniel who is looking at me and grinning.

“I’m glad I amuse you.” he chuckles.

“Oh you really do,” I laugh again, “I really best be going to bed, I think I’ve had more to drink than I first thought and I’m suddenly tired.” I yawn.

“Of course,” Daniel gets up and carries the coffee cups inside, “I’m not sure where the day went?”

“Me neither, I guess good company makes time fly.” I smile.

“Thank you for today, it was just what I needed.”

I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist and he wraps his arms around me too, resting his cheek on top of my head. I stay there, just a few seconds more, enjoying the heat that radiates from him, before pulling back.

“I’ll see you in the morning. Thank you for letting me stay.”

I press a kiss above his heart and hear his sharp intake of breath. I step back and turn around and head upstairs to the guest bedroom. I close the door and rest my back against it. My heart was racing,
why is it racing?
I get changed into my pyjamas and head to the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I come back out, Daniel is just walking into his room.

“Goodnight, Daniel.” I whisper.

“Goodnight, Katie.” he whispers back.

I slip into the bed and settle back into the pillows, I was right, the bed is comfortable. I fall asleep in minutes and I don’t wake up until morning. That hasn’t happened for months. I am making progress.

Chapter Seven

Before I know it, it’s Tuesday again and I’m working at the hospital with Daniel. My breath hitches a little when I walk in and see him. He is wearing a pair of tan chinos and a white t-shirt, but he looks like he just stepped off the runway. He is kneeling down in front of a little girl and chatting to her. She is wheeling around a machine that she is attached to. When I get a little closer I can hear what they are talking about.

“Well, I think it would work too. Do you think we should try it?”

“We might get in trouble.”

“Well, I’ll keep a look out and if we do get caught,” he leans in and whispers, “I’ll take the blame, okay?”

“Okay.” she whispers back.

I watch as Daniel stands up and holds onto the drip stand while the little girl climbs on to the little ledge at the bottom. Daniel checks she is on then tells her to hold on before beginning to wheel her down the corridor. The little girl grins and giggles as he wheels her further and further away, then turns it around and walks her back up and towards me. He looks up and spots me, his big grin spreading across his face. I head to the staff room and hang up my denim jacket and bag then head back to the reception. Daniel is back and standing chatting to who I assume is the little girl’s parents. I say good morning to Sally and find out if I’m needed anywhere specific.

“Actually Katie, would you and Daniel mind going to outpatients? They are swamped down there and the children are needing a little extra love and attention today, it’s LP day today.”

“LP day?”

“Lumbar puncture. They all hate LP day, they need extra love.”

“Oh, it sounds awful. I’ll go straight down. Will you tell Daniel?”

“I’ll send him straight down when he has finished talking with Amber’s parents.”

I make my way down to the outpatients ward and get to work. I set the tables up with things to do, I chat to the children waiting for a procedure or to see the doctors. I try to take their mind off of what is about to happen to them because it’s all I can do. Five minutes later, Daniel walks through the doors and comes to sit at the table where I’m colouring in with a little boy called Oscar.

“
DANIEL!
” Oscar yells excitedly, getting up and sitting in Daniel’s lap.

“Oscar, how are you? Have you grown?” Daniel asks him smiling.

“I have!” he says proudly, “Mum says I need to stop growing, I think I need to keep growing. One day, I want to be as tall as you are.”

“Then keep eating all your vegetables and drinking lots of milk.” he tells him.

“I will.” Oscar smiles, then goes back to his colouring.

“Morning, Katie.” he smiles at me.

“Morning, Daniel. You looked like you were having fun?”

“Amber.. I’ll fill you in later.” his face goes dark and my stomach drops.

“Lunch? I’m only here for this morning, would you like to have lunch?”

“I’d love that.” he smiles sadly.

We spend the morning helping with anything that needs doing. I help get water for those just out of theatre and I sit and read stories to a little girl who is waiting to go in while her Mum has a coffee and a chat with the doctor. The morning flies by and soon my time is finished. There are another two volunteers coming in after us so Daniel and I are free to go. We collect our bags and head out of the hospital.

“There is a lovely place by the river, would you like to go there?” I suggest as we walk to our cars.

“It sounds lovely.”

We arrive at the restaurant and park next to each other. The sun is shining and we’re able to get a table outside. When we’ve placed our order I watch Daniel, his face looks tense, his back is straight and he looks like he might bolt any minute.

“Daniel, talk to me, please.” I tell him, taking his hand.

“Amber is dying, Katie.” his sad eyes meet mine and my heart clenches.

“Oh.” It’s stupid I should be able to say more than that, I
need
to say more than that.

“She doesn’t know. Her parents don’t know how to tell her or even if they should. It just brought everything back.” he looks away and I see tears in his eyes.

“I can’t imagine how it must feel, Daniel. Can I.. Can I
do
anything?”

“Just this.” he squeezes my hand and smiles weakly at me.

“Will it help to talk?”

“I don’t think it will, not right now, ”

“Okay, well…” I look around trying to work out what to say next, “I’m planning a trip to the seaside. Is that maybe your thing?” Daniel’s face lights up and he smiles at me.

“It is my thing. Can I take my camera?”

“Of course.”

“Can we have a hot donut?”

“I’m not taking you with me if we don’t!” I laugh.

“And can we have fish and chips?”

“Daniel,” I lean a little closer, “That is the most
ridiculous
thing you could have asked, of
course
we will have fish and chips!”

“Then I’d love to come with you, when were you thinking?”

“Tomorrow? I’m free and the weather is supposed to be glorious!”

“Tomorrow sounds great.”

We eat our lunch and plan our day to the coast tomorrow. Daniel insists on driving so I can fully enjoy my day at the beach. I give up trying to argue and just go with it. When I’ve paid the bill after much persuading, we say our goodbyes in the car park.

“You know where I am and you have my number. Don’t be sad on your own.” I tell him.

“I won’t be sad.”

“And you’ll phone me if you need me?”

“I will.”

“Okay, well, I’ll see you tomorrow morning then.” I grin, getting into my car and opening the window.

“Drive carefully. I’ll be at yours by eight-thirty.” he tells me, ducking down so I can see him.

“Why so early?”

“Because we can have breakfast on the way.”

“I knew I liked you for a reason.”

“See you tomorrow, Katie.”

* * *

My evening is spent giving myself a manicure and pedicure. I put on the first season of
ER
and pour myself a big glass of red wine. After three episodes my nails are dry but my eyes are not. Why do I have to be the girl who cries at everything
?
I wipe my eyes, switch off the TV and head upstairs for a shower before slipping into bed with my kindle. As I am just about to turn off the light, my phone buzzes with a text.

Daniel:
Did you know, there are 250 species of poppies in the poppy family?

Me:
No I did not :)

Daniel:
Well… There is. And did you know, each one is characterised by appearance, location and other distinguishing factors?

Me:
Are we playing the did you know game?

Daniel:
Yes. I need to keep my mind active right now, I keep thinking of Amber.

My heart clenches at the thought of Daniel sitting alone, thinking of Amber and I was sure, of Poppy too. I open up a new web page on my phone and search. Two minutes later I have my fact.

Me:
Did you know, the story Cinderella is also known by the name, The Little Glass Slipper?

Daniel:
I did actually, you forget, books are MY thing ;)

Me:
Okay… Did you know, in French that translates to either; Cendrillon or La Petite Pantoufle de verre?

Daniel:
No. I don’t speak a lot of French. Did you know, in Greek and Roman mythology, poppies were used as offerings to the dead?

Me:
Daniel, no talk of the dead. Do I need to come over there and kick your butt?

Daniel:
Yes ;)

Me:
Well, I can’t. I’m in bed ;)

Daniel:
Shall I do the guy thing and ask what you’re wearing?

I laugh out loud when I read his reply, Daniel is feeling cheeky this evening.

Me:
No! Go to sleep, we have a busy day tomorrow and you need to be rested.

Daniel:
Yes, Katie. I’ll see you in a few hours. x

* * *

I’m siting on the front step when Daniel arrives at bang on eight-thirty the next morning. I have my beach bag stuffed full of everything I’ll need for a day at the beach. When he gets out and his face breaks into a breathtaking smile, I can’t stop the smile spreading over mine either.

“You’re ready?” he half chuckles at me.

“I’m
so
ready!” I leap up and head over to the passenger side and open the door.

“Then lets get going!”

When I’m buckled in and Daniel is too, he looks over at me, that gorgeous smile of his still firmly in place. He looks rested this morning, I was expecting to have a tired Daniel on my hands but I’m wrong.

“How did you sleep?” I ask him as he reverses out of the driveway and onto the road.

“Better than I thought I would. I think our little text exchange helped.”

“I’m glad.”

“Do you want the radio on?”

“I’m happy with whatever, you choose, you’re driving.”

Daniel presses play on a CD he has in the car and a song begins, after about thirty seconds, a male voice begins to sing. The voice is deep, scratchy and soul-full. He sings about there coming a point in everyone’s life when they are lost and everything they do seems to go wrong. I don’t know why, but the words really effect me. I feel a shiver move up my spine and I suddenly feel overly emotional. When the singer begins to sing about everyone needing a friend, and how he wants it to be him, I turn to Daniel.

“Who is this?”

“It’s
Ray LaMontagne
. Do you like it?”

“It’s a beautiful song and he has an incredible voice.”

“It is,” he looks over at me and smiles, “He is incredible live.”

“I can’t remember the last time I saw music live.” I muse.

“We should go see something. There are so many great artists out there.”

“We should. I don’t know who. But we should.”

“So what is first on our list of things to do today?” Daniel asks as we hit the motorway.

“Breakfast?” my tummy decides to grumble to prove my point.

“I thought you might say that,” he laughs, “There is a bag in the back, can you reach it?”

I look behind my shoulder and spot a bag, I lean over and lift it, bringing it into the front with me. I take a peek inside and smile. Nestled in a tupperware container are what looks like freshly baked pastries and a flask with two plastic travel mugs.

“Coffee from your machine?”

“Of course and some pastries. I figured, we could eat on the way.”

I set about getting us both a cup of coffee and using the lid of the container as a little table, I place two pastries on it. Daniel presses a button and two little cup holders pop out in front of us, giving us a place to rest our cups.

“How are you going to eat while you drive?”

“I made mini pastries, so it wouldn’t be a problem.” he grins.

“You
made
these?” I look down at the little flaky treats.

They are perfect, golden and crisp and they have little bits of pecans on them and icing and I feel completely inadequate next to this amazing man.

“Yes, well, I got them ready last night, it kept my mind off…
things
. I just popped them in the oven this morning when I woke up.”

“You say it like it’s something everyone does, Daniel, most people
don’t
make their own pastries!”

“Well, no, maybe they don’t. But most people didn’t have a Danish mother either.”

“Your mother was Danish?”

“She was, Ada, the most beautiful and most special mother anyone could want. She doted on my Dad and I. We were spoiled. I remember sitting on the kitchen counter and watching her make these,” he reaches out and takes one of the little pastries, “And when I was old enough, I helped and I learned how to make them.”

I watch him as he raises the pastry to his lips and takes a bite. I find myself unable to look away as he chews and swallows, his strong jaw and neck moving as he does. Daniel is a beautiful man, I’m sure he is aware just how beautiful he is, maybe that makes him more attractive?

“I imagine you’ve wooed many a woman with your pastry making abilities.” I joke.

“I’ve never made them for a woman before, you’re my first one.” he keeps his eyes trained on the road in front of us and I feel the air crackle between us.

I reach for my pastry and take a bite, needing to do something other than just stare at him. The pastry crunches as I take a bite, it’s buttery sweetness filling my mouth. It’s absolutely delicious, the most incredible thing I think I’ve ever tasted.

“It’s soooooo good!” I groan.

Daniel shifts a little in his seat and reaches for his coffee with one hand. I continue to chew and when it’s finished, I reach into the little box and pick out another, handing one to him too. We sit, not talking while we eat, the sound of
Prince
now filling the car. When the pastries are finished and we’ve drank the coffee, I place everything into the little bag and place it back behind Daniel’s seat.