To Kill a Wizard: Rose's Story (The Protectors of Tarak Book 1) (22 page)

“You know your goddesses have a sense of humor.”

Blair sounded tired. “But why do their laughs always have to come at my expense?” Another pause. “Every time I look at her, my guilt threatens to swallow me whole.”

Meisha’s tone was firm. “The Fates are sometimes wrong.”

Blair answered, too quickly. “They were not with me. They were not with Dessi.”

“Rose is special,” Meisha said, her accent twisting my name into something beautiful. “Not just because of what she is, but because she has us.”

Blair laughed, a terrible, bitter sound. “I had many who loved and cared for me, and yet, I ruined all of their lives. She’s destined for the same unhappy life. All those who stand between her and her destiny will fall at her feet, their blood staining her hands forever. You heard The Fates.”

My fingers pressed into the stone floor, and I longed to shout my denial of her words. I didn’t know why they thought I was fated for such terrible things, but they were wrong.

“The girl is special, we know this. She is the only one who can do what she can do. There is no argument about this,” Meisha said, utter confidence lacing her words. “But, her fate, this is still unknown.”

“Believe what you want, but our job is to lead her to her destiny.”

“It is unfair,” Meisha’s voice held a touch of anger, “for the girl to have so heavy a burden because of her mother’s mistake.”

“Unfair? Perhaps. But it is her burden all the same… and our burden until her destiny is fulfilled.” A chair squealed as it was moved. “And Meisha, if you remember who the boy reminds you of, and speak such thoughts aloud, I’ll regret having to kill you.” Her words, however, held no regret, only a promise rolled in a threat.

The room descended into silence.

I rose on shaky legs to move slowly and aimlessly through the halls, lost in thought and ignoring any Protectors who glanced in my direction. Could the tiny chunk of Orb around my neck have caused all these false impressions of me? Could it even have gone so far as to trick The Fates?

Clinging to that fragile hope, I pushed aside all the unsettling things I’d overheard said about me and focused instead on the one flicker of hope. Blair’s reaction and threat had made a couple things clear to me. Not only was Asher alive, she knew more about him than she was letting on. And I could think of only one way to know for sure what had happened to him.

Turning around, I wandered partway back to the dining room, but stopped, waiting. Luckily, I didn’t have to wait long. I heard footsteps. Slow, unsteady ones. Meisha emerged from around a corner, almost knocking into me.

“What are you doing out here?” she asked, frowning. “I thought you had gone to your room.”

I forced myself to keep my face solemn. “I wanted to talk with you about something first.”

Her eyes closed, and she swayed once more on her feet. I reached out to steady her, but her eyes opened. “What do you need?”

“I think I know of a way to stop this war.”

Meisha straightened. “How?”

I started walking down the hall, and she followed. “It’s the perfect plan. It should end things quickly, and without a lot of bloodshed, but I need something first.”

“What?” Her voice filled with excitement.

Stopping, I leaned closer to her. “I don’t know how I know this, but you have to believe me, this is the answer. But, I need your help.”

“Anything,” she said, her face filled with hope.

“I need to know where Asher is.”

She reared away from me. “That I cannot do. Blair… she would not be happy.”

I concealed my smile, so he was alive. “She’s blinded by her hatred of the wizards, so blinded that she wouldn’t let me speak to him, even if it could save us all. Are you so blind?”

“It shows how truly little you know of her to believe she hates wizards,” Meisha answered, but tensed. “At least that is not her reason for imprisoning the boy.”

“Meisha,” I said, grasping her arms tightly. Her gaze focused and unfocused on my face, and I felt a flicker of guilt, before suppressing the feeling once more. “He is the answer. I know it.”

She hesitated. “There is a hidden staircase beneath the gardens. It leads into the prisons beneath the castle. If one were to figure out how to reach this staircase, one might find what they seek.” She broke free from my arms. “But remember, wizards are dangerous.”

I nodded. “Thank you for your help.”

Her strange amber-colored eyes met mine. “You know you and I are not so very different. No matter who we give our loyalty to, no one matters more to us than the people we love.”

Surprised, I only nodded mutely.

She turned and stumbled away.

Now, I just needed to rescue Asher and help him escape. But without getting caught this time.

“What do you know about me?” Meisha asked as we climbed the stairs into a part of the castle I’d never been in.

I frowned at her back. Today she wore a purple dress, so dark it was almost black. It was more modest than some of the gowns I’d seen her in, long enough to reach her ankles. The scarf covering her amber hair was the same color. But even though the dark colors complimented her olive skin perfectly, the clothes held the same air of mourning as all the things she wore.

She turned. “Are you listening?”

I startled. Her eyes glowed slightly in the dark.

“No, sorry. What did you ask?”

Her trim eyebrows shot up. “I asked what you know about me.”

“About you?” I chewed on my bottom lip as I turned her question over in my mind. “You can transform into… that thing.”

Her pert nose sniffed, as if she smelled something unpleasant. “My other form is a
Cartal
.” She hesitated. “And actually, she is my true form.”

She kept walking as if what she’d said should make sense to me.

I scurried after her. “What do you mean your
true
form?”

We reached the top of the stairs, and I hesitated in the threshold of the new room. The brightness of the morning sun lit the massive space in a surreal glow, bouncing off walls lined with mirrors. The scattering of targets and obstacles, and the racks of weapons stacked high, seemed at odds with an otherwise cheery room.

“The practice room,” Meisha gestured. “You will spend a great deal of time here over the next few weeks.” She paused, her expression changing to an unreadable one. “And as for my true form… I am not human in the way that you and the other women are.”

“Isn’t there only one kind of human?”

She smirked. “Are you the same kind of human as the people of your village?”

I could say nothing to that.

Striding to the center of the floor, she sat down, crossing her legs beneath her. As she did so, her bare legs poked out from the two high slits I’d failed to notice earlier.

Looking up, I met her amused gaze. “You seem to find my clothing... interesting.”

Blood rushed to my cheeks. “Sorry. In my village, the girls all wore the same clothing. The most skin we showed was on our arms. Coming here and seeing you and Clarissa.” I nearly choked on the words I shouldn’t say. “Well, it’s been a bit of a surprise.”

“I understand.” She gestured for me to join her on the floor.

I sat across from her, crossing my legs beneath the skirts of my pale blue gown. My gaze swept to the only exit from the room. There was no way to know what my training would include, but I wished time would speed up, that I could be done with it already.

“So,” Meisha spoke the word gently, “you know about my other form, but what else?”

This question again?

I had to admit, I was curious about her, but I also couldn’t imagine what understanding more about her had to do with my training. Still, I preferred a simple conversation to the number of painful things I’d been imagining.

“I know you don’t like fighting.”

For a second I wasn’t sure if she’d be offended by my comment, but she radiated the calmness of an ancient teacher. “And what else?”

I shrugged. “I guess not much more.”

She seemed to expect my answer, because her expression remained soft. “That is because you have failed to ask.”

The urge to defend myself, to tell her I’d been too busy trying to survive to stop and ask questions about my captors, leapt to my mouth, but I swallowed the words. “Why would knowing about you matter?”

A small smile touched her lips. “Exactly. Why is it important to know ones enemy? From the moment you arrived, you saw me as such, yet you never stopped to discover my abilities, strengths, or weaknesses.”

I opened my mouth and closed it. She was right. If I had asked the right questions, maybe my escape wouldn’t have ended so terribly.

“So what should I know about you?”

She folded her hands in her lap and stared.

Not the right question then. "When did you first transform into a cat?”

“A Cartal,” she corrected, but there was pride in her voice. “My earliest memories are of being a Cartal, of running in the jungles with my litter mates, and hunting with my pack. It was only as I got older that I learned to take a human shape.”

I found I was leaning forward, hanging on her every word. So that’s what she meant! She really was more cat than human.

“But then, how did you end up here?”

The anger that stole over her face sent a quiver of fear streaking through me. “Some of the tribes capture us, transform us, and use us as Shaman. They imprison us in human form and use us until we are no longer useful to them.” Her nostrils flared. “They took my sister, my mate, and myself.”

Her lips curled, revealing sharpened teeth.

Memories of my first night at The Glass Castle flooded back to me, of Meisha jumping on me in the secret room, and of those same sharp teeth. I hadn’t thought about it until now, but anger must have caused her teeth to change.

My muscles tensed. No need to irritate her further.

“What happened next?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

Her amber-colored eyes grew cold. “They kept my mate as a Shaman, and Blair came for my sister and I. To this day, I do not know how she sensed our powers.” She took a shaky breath, then continued on in a controlled tone. “But my purpose is not to reopen past wounds; instead, I wished to get you thinking in a new way, about why it is so important to know your enemy. We have no hope of defeating the wizards if you do not ask these same questions about them.”

I knew she was trying to change the subject, but I couldn’t help but ask. “You mentioned strengths and weaknesses… what are yours?”

She flashed me a humorless smile that was all teeth. “We all have strengths and weaknesses. In my human form, I am stronger and faster than most people. But otherwise, I have no special skills. As a Cartal, I have the strength, agility, and speed of a large predator. However, it takes time to transform.” She met my gaze. “Keeping this form is also difficult. I must drink a strange brew created by the tribesmen. It has an… unpleasant impact on both my body and mind.”

An awkward silence stretched between us.

“So now I know your strengths and weaknesses.” I hesitated for only a moment before meeting her curious gaze. “Do you know mine?”

She didn’t hesitate as she answered. “Yes, because yours are the same as Blair’s, and the same as your mothers.”

I opened my mouth to ask her more, but she silenced me with a glare. “With each goddess’s name, you will grow more powerful. And as we have already seen, you have a wealth of internal magic to fuel your powers.” She tilted her head. “But my abilities are second-nature to me. Yours are not. If you are stressed or tired, you may not be able to perform a spell. Your spells take time, so it is unlikely you could use one against a surprise attack. And if you run out of magic… such a thing would leave you completely vulnerable.”

“I’d never … thought about it like that.” And I hadn’t. Somehow I’d imagined magic as this limitless ability to make the world into whatever I wanted. Knowing otherwise was almost depressing.

“Yet there is more,” she continued. “As you have already seen, your powers are capable of great things, even if you do not have the magic to fuel them.” She looked down at her hands, studying them in silence before speaking again. “But if you decide to fuel your magic with the roses, or with the other Protectors’ magic through the Orb, you must deal with the consequences.”

I stiffened. “I hadn’t meant to do that.”

Her mouth pulled into a thin line. “Blair told me you did it without consciously deciding to… something that is hard to believe.”

I glared. “But it’s the truth.”

She shrugged, but her shoulders remained stiff. “You know using roses costs lives, but I wanted to warn you about using the other Protector’s magic. As I said, it comes at a price. The more you access it, the more you take, the easier it will be for others to take from you, to sense you.”

Prickles swept down my spine. I didn’t like the sound of that.

Wiping my clammy palms on my dress, my voice came out shriller than expected. “So is this everything I need to know?”

She snorted. “Hardly. But it is enough for now.”

I started to rise.

“Sit.” She commanded.

Sitting back down meant having to swallow a bit of my pride.

“You must be smarter.”

“Smarter?” I repeated, failing to hide my irritation. “I am smart.”

“You spend too much time thinking and not enough time taking notice of the world around you. Rather than let others argue, you throw yourself into the middle of the fight, just to end it. In a jungle, you would not last a day.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Blair believes you will be the one to end the war. I am not sure. Blair is far more powerful than you are, and she has failed to end it. But, I am ready to be free of The Protectors, and I can only be once this war has finished.”

Too many questions popped into my head at once, so I blurted the first one that came to my mind. “You want to leave The Protectors?”

She opened her eyes and gazed at me, an expression of pity lighting her face. “There are many of us who are ready to leave... we have long since served our time.”

“But, I’m confused. If Blair’s more powerful than me, why would I be the one to end this war?”

She looked pleased. “Exactly. A good question and hard to answer. I believe if Blair had been allowed on the battlefield, this war may have ended long ago.”

I sat up straighter. “She’s not allowed on the battlefield? Goddess’s breath, why not?”

For a second I thought she wouldn’t answer me. “Because Queen Gaudias doesn’t trust her. There is a long history behind it, but Blair did not feel killing the wizards was justified. When the war first began, Blair asked that the queen and her Protectors sacrifice themselves to give both the wizards and the people of Tarak peace.”

Her words struck me like a cold wind. “She was willing to die to end the war?”

Meisha smiled. “You see? There is much you can learn, if only you would ask.”

“But Blair doesn’t seem to care much for
life
.”

She tilted her head. “And you never once stopped to wonder why that might be, have you?”

I opened my mouth and closed it. She was right. I’d just assumed Blair held an inner cruelty.

“You are very young, Rose. I wonder what you would be like after a lifetime of hard decisions, of having to weigh the value of one life against the value of thousands.” She leaned closer. “The responsibility of such choices would weigh heavily on even the strongest person’s shoulders.”

Silence hung between us.

I turned my wrist over and touched The Protector’s mark. Already I’d done terrible things, without even meaning too. Like a giant blundering through a fairy village, my intentions mattered so little. I’d destroy all those roses, all those girls, because of nothing more than my ignorance. I couldn’t let that happen again.

“Meisha?”

“Yes?”

I took a deep breath. “The flowers I destroyed. I really didn’t mean to… and now I’m scared I’ll do it again, without meaning to.”

She leaned back, watching me. “It was truly an accident?”

I nodded.

Some unidentifiable expression came and went. Perhaps relief. “Then I shall teach you, so you do not make such a mistake again.”

A knot untwisted from my stomach. “Thank you.”

Scooting closer to me, so that our knees touched, she leaned in. A wild, exotic scent drifted over me. Something dangerous and exciting. “Close your eyes.”

My hands bunched into fists, but I obeyed.

“Inside of yourself, magic blossoms. We each see it differently. But for me, it is like a great fire raging.”

As she spoke, I pictured her words.

“Like any fire, it seeks to spread. Little flames curl out, reaching outside of us to connect with the world beyond.”

I held my breath. The golden flames reached out, searching for an escape.

“When our magic grows low, or we wish to create a spell beyond our abilities, we simply allow our magic to seek a source… not just any source though, that is very important. You must picture the roses in order to access them.”

Sweat gathered in my palms as I forced myself to push away the images of the flowers.

“We can also picture The Orb, or call out to other Protectors for help. But as I said, few Protectors willingly do this. They would rather use the roses than risk that others will be able to take their magic from them.”

“So we have no choice if they try to take it?”

Meisha was slow to answer. “You have more of a choice the less the others can feel you. If, for example, I gave my magic to you several times. Each time, I would sense you more and more easily. And if I was desperate, if your walls were down in a moment of weakness, I could take magic from you.”