To Hell and Back (4 page)

Even though I knew something was off, that something wasn’t right between us, I couldn’t help the excitement that was already starting from deep within me. Tallis just had this reaction on me. Sure, he and I had argued plenty of times, and there were several occasions when I might have said I hated him, but I couldn’t deny that we shared a mutual physical connection. Yep, I had to admit that Tallis turned me on. A lot.

“You’re drunk,” I started, thinking I didn’t want to do anything sexual with him if he were intoxicated. Not only had I never had sex with Tallis before, I’d never had sex with anyone before. Period.

He responded by dragging the blade from my belly button down to the waistline of my yoga pants. He slipped the blade beneath my waistband and held it there, as if it were a threat. “Tallis,” I repeated, my tone of voice lower, emitting a warning of its own. There was an expression on his face that I’d never seen before and it scared me.

“Ah dinnae care,” he replied, pulling the blade forward until I could hear the sound of the material ripping beneath it. I pushed against his bulky arms with both of my hands as real fear began to snake through me. But I might as well have been pushing a wall for all the good it did. His thighs felt like iron manacles as he tightened them around my middle. I shivered in the cold air that suddenly invaded my most vulnerable of places. Glancing up at Tallis again, I found his eyes fixated on the junction between my thighs.

“Tallis,” I said, my voice now coming out as only a whisper. “You’re scaring me.”

But Tallis didn’t respond. Well, not in words anyway. Instead, he pressed the cold blade of the handle up against the sensitive nub between my thighs. I bucked up against him but with his thighs pinning mine to the floor, I didn’t get very far. “What are you doing?” I shouted at him, the pounding of my heart deafening.

“Ye ask tae many questions, lass,” he replied before rubbing the handle against me, up and down. Even though my mind insisted something was wrong with Tallis, and I needed to find out what
it
was, my body couldn’t resist him. I instinctively arched up, loving the blissful feelings that were already raining down on me. I closed my eyes, reveling in the ecstasy, even though a small voice from within warned me not to lose myself.

Tallis chuckled and I opened my eyes, finding his riveted on mine. While staring at me unblinkingly, he continued rubbing the handle on me, the same lecherous smile still curving his lips. He had to be fully aware that even though my words might have demonstrated otherwise, I was enjoying this. It was pretty plainly obvious by my body’s reaction.

“There’s ah good lass,” he whispered. A new wave of pleasure started to grow in the pit of my belly, reaching its fingers upward until the stinging sensation in my pelvis turned into an all-out burning.

“Tallis,” I breathed out, barely able to say his name, trying my hardest not to completely lose myself in the moment. But there was a niggling doubt inside me, warning me that something wasn’t right, that something about Tallis was off.

“Joost keep quiet an’ let meh dae wif ye whit Ah want,” he said in a thick brogue. He increased the speed of his ministrations as my eyes clenched tightly shut of their own accord. I moaned loudly—I couldn’t stop myself. In response, Tallis chuckled again. Seconds later, I opened my eyes when I felt the handle of the blade no longer rubbing against me.

Some of my sanity immediately returned. I opened my mouth, ready to argue why we needed to stop what we were doing, and why we shouldn’t have started doing it in the first place, especially since he was two hundred sheets to the wind … But the words slipped right off my tongue once I saw his eyes. They were entirely black. It looked as if his pupils had swallowed the whites of his eyes.

And that was when I realized why Tallis had not only failed to recognize me, but also didn’t seem to know his own name.

“Donnchadh,” I said. It was the name of the Celtic warrior who possessed Tallis, and thereby, imbued him with immortality.

Tallis’s attention was instantly fastened on me. Seeing the expression of recognition in his eyes, it felt as if my heart stopped for the breadth of a few seconds. I now knew what all of this meant and it was a reality that bothered me, hugely.

Ordinarily, Tallis managed to control the spirit of Donnchadh, to suppress it. But now … it appeared that Donnchadh had somehow taken charge of Tallis. That meant the spirit of the most powerful of warriors, one that Tallis had described as “brutal,” was now controlling Tallis’s body … What that meant for Tallis’s spirit, however, I didn’t know.

I felt the handle of the blade at my opening and seconds later, he pushed it into me. Without thinking, I closed my eyes as a moan dropped off my lips. I could feel him pulling the handle out of me, only to push it in again, this time deeper. It took my muddled mind a few seconds to realize I didn’t experience any pain which was answer enough to the question of whether or not the body I inhabited was a virgin. Once I felt him pull the blade’s handle out of me and push it back in again, all thoughts of whether or not I was a virgin fled right out of my mind. Instead, I reflexively arched up again, even though I tried to resist the urges of desire that were already coursing through me. But it was impossible. I was too far gone, way too excited to respond with a rational thought.

“Och aye, good lass,” Tallis crooned down at me. He slid the handle of the blade out of me and paused for the span of a few heartbeats, only to push it in again as deeply as it would go. Any arguments against what he was doing to me completely evaporated right out of my mind.

No, Lily
! I heard my voice yelling at me from within my head.
This isn’t Tallis! This is Donnchadh!

Tallis, Donnchadh … what’s the difference?
I argued, rocking back and forth against the handle of the blade, pushing down hard on Tallis’s hand when he thrust the handle up higher inside me. When he started rolling my nub between his thumb and index finger while the handle of the blade was still up inside me, I felt my hands fisting at my sides as pure bliss captured me.

Lily, this isn’t the way it was supposed to happen with him!
that voice screamed back at me.
If you’re going to have sex with him, make sure it’s with Tallis, for God’s sake!

As soon as the thought entered my head, Tallis, er, Donnchadh, pulled the blade’s handle out of me and dropped it on the floor. I leaned up onto my elbows and watched him reach down and unfasten one of the two straps that held his kilt together. A cold dose of reality suddenly sunk into me as I realized what he intended to do. Pushing my legs together, and using my elbows as support, I thrust myself backwards. Donnchadh looked up from where he was unfastening the second leather strap and observed me curiously.

“Tallis,” I said, in an uneven voice. “Tallis, if you’re in there, please take control of your body again!” My voice went from breathy and soft to loud and slightly panicked. “Please, Tallis!”

“Lass, dinnae play games wif meh,” Donnchadh said, turning his steely eyes on me as his jaw tightened. “Ye are nae match fur meh an’ Ah will take whit Ah want.” He grasped me around the ankle and yanked me back toward him. It was pretty crystal clear as to what was going to happen next.

Go for your sword, Lily!
I commanded myself, realizing my sword was the only thing that could protect me. Rotating my body, I glanced back and spotted the shiny metal weapon where it lay, maybe a few feet from me. I flipped over onto my stomach and started to get up to grab the sword when I felt Donnchadh’s arm around my middle. He yanked me backwards as I screamed.

“Ah prefer ta take ye oan yer hands an’ knees,” he whispered in my ear, his breath still reeking of whiskey. Even though it was Tallis’s voice and Tallis’s body, this wasn’t Tallis. This was Donnchadh. He reached down and ripped my yoga pants off my hips, pushing them down to my knees. Then he forced me onto all fours, grabbing me around my waist and pulling me up against him. I could feel his erection against the inside of my thigh.

While focusing on the shiny steel of my sword where it lay on the floor, I clenched my eyes shut tightly.
Tallis,
I called out to the two-thousand-year-old Celtic warrior whom I considered my guardian.
I can’t fight Donnchadh—he’s way too strong! I need your help! I can’t do this alone!

I felt Donnchadh positioning himself behind me. I opened my eyes and focused on my sword with all the determination I possessed.
Tallis, I need you! Please! Don’t let him do this to me!

Donnchadh’s breathing increased, clouding me with its pungent alcohol stench. With a squeal, I lurched forward when I felt his hardness at my opening. Chuckling, he gripped both of my shoulders as he pulled me back into place.

“Dinnae be afraid, wee lass,” he whispered into my ear with a hearty laugh while palming a handful of my hair. He wrapped it around his hand, yanking my head up at an uncomfortable angle. “The pain will be quick, boot the pleasure lastin’.”

Even with my neck craned awkwardly, I didn’t take my eyes from my sword. Donnchadh reached down to reposition himself at my entry with the hand that wasn’t gripping my hair.

Tallis!
I screamed inside my head at the same time that Donnchadh thrust himself forward. I lurched forward also, and just barely missed being impaled by his anxious erection. He tightened his grip on my hair and yanked me backwards again, this time with more urgency.

“Dinnae make meh angry, lass,” he ground out. “Ye willnae like the ootcome.”

I didn’t reply because I was too focused on my sword, willing it to come to me. Even though a part of me knew it was completely crazy to expect the sword to move of its own accord, another part of me insisted that the sword possessed some level of magic, so was it really too absurd to hope that I could somehow communicate with it? And, better yet, that it could somehow … transport itself to me?

Tallis!
I screamed out again mentally.
Please, Tallis, help me! I need you!

Tears started to sting my eyes as I wholly focused on the gleaming metal of my sword where it lay in the dirt. As I watched it, the sword flopped a few times like a fish out of water. I briefly recognized the feelings of shock deep in my gut as I watched the sword fling itself forward, as if by an invisible hand. Extending both of my arms out as far as I could reach, I inched forward, but didn’t make it very far. I felt Donnchadh’s menacing grip around my midsection as he yanked me backwards again. But he was too late. The ice cold metal touched the palm of my right hand, and I wrapped my fingers around the hilt of my sword as I flipped over so my back was on the dirt floor. Then I held my sword up against Donnchadh, like it was a cross, or a garlic bulb, and he were a vampire. I had no idea what I was doing. I definitely had no script to follow. I just went with what felt natural and right.

He immediately pulled away from me and dropped his hands off my waist before his kilt fell down again and covered his erection, which was also rapidly on its way down.

Touch him with the blade
, I told myself, not understanding why I was overcome with the urge to bring the blade to Donnchadh’s skin. But I went with it anyway. Stabling myself with my left hand on the ground, I jumped up until I was standing right in front of the immense warrior. Then I thrust the flat side of the sword’s blade against his chest with all my might, closing my eyes as I held the sword in place.

I heard Tallis shrieking, but I knew it was really Donnchadh. He took a few unsteady steps backward until he was pinned up against the wall. I didn’t release my sword. I continued to force the flat side of the blade against his abdomen, and he just stood there, as if trapped, throwing his head from side to side while he howled in what sounded like agony.

Suddenly, everything went dark. It was as if someone had walked into the room and turned off Bill’s flashlight phone, although, of course, no one had. I was aware that my eyes were still open but I couldn’t see anything. I didn’t have much time to worry about it, though, because before I knew it, a flood of images began to flash before me.

The first was one that I recognized, a castle that I’d seen before. Fergus Castle. It was the same image I’d seen the very first time I’d touched my sword. Tallis had explained to me at the time that it was his family’s castle and had been in his bloodline for centuries.

As soon as the image of the castle faded away, it was replaced by one of Tallis, only he looked younger somehow or, at least, less experienced. He was on his knees, embracing an immense sword that had to be five feet long. He was chanting something, but the words were lost on the wind that whipped through his black hair which fell beyond his waist. Bonfires burned a bright orange in the background, contrasting against the dark night sky. I didn’t know why or how, but I was suddenly imbued with the understanding that I was at the Samhain festival which celebrated the end of the harvest season and the beginning of winter’s darkness.

I could suddenly smell the coppery scent of blood. I watched the vision Tallis glancing to his side and reaching down to a goat. Its throat was slit, and its life was starting to slip away as the blood leaked from the deep wound on its neck. Tallis reached over and ran his finger through the blood, smearing it across both of his cheeks. This illusion of Tallis was missing the scar that ran from his eyebrow to his jaw.

The soft sound of whimpering interrupted the stillness of the night and I watched Tallis look behind his shoulder. It was as if I were watching a movie playing behind my eyelids because I could suddenly see what my vision of Tallis was seeing—a beautiful blond woman who was maybe twenty years old. She was tied to a tree with her hands bound behind her. Her face was red and her eyes were swollen. It was obvious she’d been crying and judging by the wild look in her eyes, I knew she was terrified.