To Catch A Duke (4 page)

Her mother and father had, of
course, known about the scars, as had her old nurse, but now, only Nicholas and
Benjamin knew the truth.
 
Since they'd
grown up together, shared the same sickroom at times, it was difficult for them
not to know.
 
When she'd been six and
they twelve after a particularly nasty bout of the flu that had left them all
nearly naked and ill together in the nursery at Seldon Park, they'd made a pact
never to speak about the scars to anyone.
 
They'd even sealed the pact with blood, Nicholas making small slits on
each of their thumbs with the hunting knife he'd received for Christmas the
previous year.

As far as she knew, neither one of
them had ever broken that pact.
 
They'd
almost had to when, shortly after her father had died, she'd developed a chest
cold that normal remedies could not soothe, but in the end, it hadn't been
necessary.
 
Now, on occasion, Nicholas
asked if she was well and would gaze in the area of the scars.
 
She would nod and say that she was fine, and
that would be the end of things.

But they were still there, just
below the surface that society saw, and in her heart, Julia knew that no man,
no matter how kind and patient, would ever be able to look beyond those
perfectly straight lines to the woman beneath.

She was still contemplating the
scars when a knock sounded at her door.
 

"Just a minute!" she
called and hurried to pull her nightrail on, as well as pull on her dressing
gown.
 
She took a swipe at her eyes for
good measure, not wanting anyone to know she'd been crying.

Finally, when she was ready, she
went to the door and opened it, surprised to see Nicholas on the other side,
still dressed in his evening clothes.
 
"Evening, Jules," he said as he wandered in, and she noted
that his cravat was undone and his stick pin missing, probably tucked into his
pocket, a sure sign that he'd been drinking.

"Good evening, Nicholas.
 
Out carousing again, were you?"
 
There was no censure in her tone.
 
Like her, Nicholas had endured quite a bit
in his life, and she wasn't about to lecture him on denying himself the
pleasures of women and drink and gambling.
 
She might think it, but she would not say it.
 
She would not take away someone else's source of comfort, even
though she might wish he would find other ways to fill his evenings.

He flopped himself into a chair and
pinched the bridge of his nose.
 
"A
bit."
 
Then he waved a hand in the
air.
 
"Good God, Jules.
 
It's all so boring.
 
There is nothing new.
 
Town has become boring.
 
We need to go back to Seldon
Park."
 
Yet there was no conviction
behind his words, and immediately, she guessed the truth.

"You heard about the incident
at the ball."
 
She regarded him for
a moment before moving to sit in the chair beside his.
 
"Only a few more weeks, Nicholas, and
then we can leave.
 
I can endure that
long."

Reaching out, he took her hand and
held it tightly in his, and for a moment, she allowed herself to bask in the
warmth of brotherly love.
 
"You
should not have to endure, Jules.
 
You
should be able to enjoy all that town has to offer.
 
This was to be your time to shine."

"We both know that I will
never shine."
 
Julia squeezed his
hand back just as tightly.
 
"And I
cannot run back to Seldon Park every time an incident occurs, or I am
embarrassed.
 
If I do, those horrid
creatures will have won, and I do not want that.
 
They will not drive me away.
 
If I run now, I will not be able to return.
 
Ever."

He raised an eyebrow, obviously not
nearly as drunk as he wanted her to believe.
 
"I thought you were never coming back to London again.
 
You told me you did not want to."

"I don't, precisely," she
admitted, pulling her hand away from his.
 
"But what if I change my mind, Nicholas?
 
What if some day I wish to attend a play?
 
What then?
 
I could never hold my head up in society if I allow them to chase me back
to the country.
 
I would be shamed.
 
No.
 
I will endure and leave on my own terms when the season ends."
 
Then she patted his hand in an attempt to
ease the heat of her words.
 
"It
will be fine.
 
You shall see."

Nicholas's dark eyes, so very like
her own, traced the lines of the scars.
 
"I don't want to see you hurt, Jules.
 
That's all."
 
There
was concern clearly written all over his face, so much that it made her heart
swell with love for him.

"I am hurt every day that I
live, Nicholas."
 
It was the truth,
and it was time he knew it.
 
"Each
day that I awake, I know that someone I shall encounter during the day will
hurt me, intentionally or not.
 
That
includes the servants when they look at me with curiosity, wondering if they
can learn my secret so that they may sell it to the highest bidder."
 

When he looked at her warily, she
grasped his hand in both of hers.
 
"There is the bet, Nicholas, and whether here or at Seldon Park,
someone is looking for the answer.
 
Thousands upon thousands of pounds are one the line, and do not think
for one moment that even someone as loyal as Meggy would not sell me out if
they knew the answer for that ridiculous bet."

Rising, Julia stalked back to her
dressing table, her earlier sadness now morphing into fury.
 
"Even back home, a groom or a maid will
stare at me at some point during the day.
 
If not because of the bet then because of idle curiosity or an
inquisitive nature.
 
People want to know
what happened to me, Nicholas, and I cannot tell them because I do not
know.
 
So they will stare, disbelieve
the story we have clung to for so long, and make up stories on their own.
 
Ones that they prefer to the truth because
they are more salacious.
 
I cannot
change that.
 
But I can change how I
react to it.
 
I will not let them, or
those like Letitia and Henrietta, win.
 
I will not!"

She had never spoken with such
passion about her plight, but tonight, for some reason, the desire to fight
back against the lot she'd been dealt in life burned bright and hot.
 
She was tired of being meek and mild, the
way she had been trained to be, tired of shying away from everyone for fear
that they might ridicule her.
 
They
would regardless of how she behaved, so why not face them?
 
Why not allow a little of the old Julia to
creep back in?

"I'm sorry."
 
Nicholas also looked more than a little
ashamed.
 
"I did not know it was
thus."

"And I did not tell you, so
the fault is mine as well."
 
Julia
knew how difficult it had been for Nicholas to say those words, but she was
grateful that he had.
 
"This is my
only season, Nicky," she sighed, using his childhood nickname for good
measure.
 
"When we leave here next
month, I am unlikely to return, despite what I just said.
 
If I do, it will not be as a debutante.
 
We both know that.
 
I do not want this time cut short, no matter how uncomfortable
some incidents might make me feel."

With a sigh of his own, he nodded,
his mouth set in a grim line.
 
"I
had expected you might feel this way, though not with this amount of
passion.
 
However I did want to give you
the option to leave if you so chose."
 
He squeezed her hand again, and she was grateful that he seemed to
understand her desire to remain in town.
 
"In anticipation of precisely that, I inquired yesterday as to
whether Lady Berkshire might be willing to act as your chaperone for the
remainder of the season while Benjamin becomes your official escort."

"What about Avaria?"
 
Julia could not imagine sending the woman
away, at least not when there was something obviously wrong with her
health.
 
Yes, she had been a bit
inattentive, but surely that was no reason to dismiss the woman.

"She is ill.
 
The doctor that was brought in earlier
tonight does not know with what, only that her constant need for sleep is a
sign of some far graver problem other than lack of rest."
 
He rose and came to stand next to her,
leaning against her dressing table and acting the imposing lord of the manor, just
as he'd done when they were children.
 
He nudged her shoulder with his.
 
"I'm sending her home, Jules.
 
Not to Bath, but to Seldon Park where my physician can watch over
her.
 
Dr. Heddington from here in town,
the one who saw her tonight, agrees that the country air might help her.
 
Until we came to London, her lungs knew
nothing but clean air.
 
Heddington
thinks that may be at the heart of her problem."

"And Lady Berkshire has agreed
to this?"
 
Julia had only met the
woman once, even though she knew of her by reputation, so she had no idea why
the countess would ever agree to such a thing.

Nodding, Nicholas pushed away and
began heading for the door, the matter settled, at least in his mind.
 
"She owes me a favor, Jules.
 
From a long time ago.
 
Let's leave it at that."

"But the events she
attends..."
 
Julia did not know how
to voice her concerns without offending Nicholas or the countess.
 
Though Lady Eleanor Hathaway, the Countess of
Berkshire, was quite young, Nicholas's age in fact, her husband was most
decidedly not.
 
Many evenings, the young
countess and her elderly husband would be departing events as others arrived,
citing Lord Berkshire's busy schedule.
 
If Julia was truly to enjoy her last few weeks in society, she didn't
want to adhere to such an odd schedule.

Holding up his hand to ward off the
flurry of questions he knew was coming, Nicholas shook his head.
 
"I would never do that to you,
Jules.
 
Ellie will be your chaperone in
name only.
 
God knows, she has those
gray-gowned, professional chaperones out watching numerous other girls of the
ton
every night of the week.
 
She had no
problem adding one more.
 
Not to mention
that really, Benjamin will be with you every night, and he's practically
family.
 
You'll be perfectly safe and
free of scandal."

It was an odd arrangement to be
certain, yet Lady Berkshire had the same agreement with other young ladies and
their families, so Julia knew it was tolerated, if not exactly
appropriate.
 
It also must be effective,
as she had not heard of any scandal among the
ton
, and she'd been
attending various events off and on all season.
 
If something were amiss with the arrangement, she was certain
that she would have heard at least a whisper of scandal.

"And Lord Radcliffe agrees to
this?
 
Nicholas, he is a much sought-after,
bachelor duke who has better things to do than drag me about town."
 
Of this, she was fairly certain.

Nicholas took a moment to consider
her words, his hand still resting on the doorframe.
 
"I really don't think he does.
 
He might be a duke, Jules, but he's our friend before all
else.
 
Your friend," he pointed out
succinctly.
 
"And he wants to do
this.
 
He gets benefits from the
arrangement as well."

Julia found that very hard to
believe.
 
"Such as what,
precisely?
 
We both know that he won't benefit
from my beauty, as I do not have any.
 
My charm?
 
I think we can both
agree that Benjamin knows I am far too blunt for most men's liking.
 
He knows me too well."

"He has his reasons,
Jules."
 
A shadow passed across
Nicholas's face, making him seem far older than he actually was.
 
"This is important to him.
 
He wants you to have a good time.
 
He wants you to dance and do all of those
things you've longed for."

She considered his words, mulling
them over silently.
 
Nicholas was not
telling her the entire truth, but she supposed it did not matter.
 
This was her chance, her last chance,
really, to truly experience the season as she should have from the
beginning.
 
Whatever benefits the Duke
of Radcliffe saw in this arrangement, she could not fathom, but she did not
need to.
 
He did.
 
The rest was none of her concern.