TMOBR1 Jay (5 page)

“It can’t happen. You and I know it. Not here, not at Buckshot. They’d lynch us if they knew. That won’t ever change.” It was a hard reality to face. But every word he spoke rang with unabashed truth.

“Then we can leave, together,” suggested Mark. “I need you.”

“This isn’t right.” Jay pushed him away. “It isn’t because I don’t like you. But you run the risk of getting me fired. I need this job. It may mean nothing to you but it’s all I have. I can’t allow you to put that in jeopardy.”

“Be damned with them all,” cursed Mark. “I’m sick of letting the thoughts and morals of others ruin my life. Is it so bad to love? Is it so bad to want to be loved, even if it’s by another man?”

“No! I don’t know, and that’s totally not what I’m saying. I’m just telling you the reality of it all, Mark. You’re young. You have your whole life ahead of you and you have the right to do whatever you want with it. You do have to realise that there can be certain consequences to your actions. Maybe in a hundred years or so, things will change. We can all hope for that, but for now, we have to face what we have right here and now, in front of us.”

“I’m not that young. I’m not a kid. Hell, I was doing a man’s work when I was twelve.”

Jay leant back against the railing of a fence. Two mares raced inside the corral. “I’m ten years older than you. I think of you highly, as a friend. You’re a good guy but—”

“You don’t see me as anything more than a fuck,” finished Mark. “I’m not mad, just disappointed. I was hoping to find something with you. It’s so damned hard being this way. With you, all the loneliness went away and it was great finding someone like
myself
.”

“Bud, I’m not going anywhere. We can still talk and hang out.”

“I guess. Yet, it’s different now. It might be best if we both moved on. Buckshot isn’t for me, I don’t want this life. I want more and that isn’t happening if I remain here.”

“Then go for it. Where will you go?” asked Jay.

“The city.
I’ve heard some good things about Dawson’s Ridge. One of the other guys said there is lots of work to be had if you want it. Who knows, I might actually meet that someone special. There has to be more of us out there.”

“I wish you the best of luck. I hope you find everything you want.” Jay looked to the horses. This was always the way, hiding. He hated it and silently cursed the heavens for allowing him to be born this way. Maybe he really was damned by Satan. His father certainly seemed to think so.

“Come on, it’s late and we both need some sleep.” Jay placed his arms around Mark. “You’re going to have to help me back. My leg has gone ahead and stiffened on me. It hurts like a son of a bitch.”

“You’re a good man, Jay. I want you to know that. And thank you for caring.”

* * * *

He had made a mess of things now. Will
lay
in bed and attempted to read, but the words didn’t interest him.

“Fool,” he muttered. “How could you be so darned stupid?”

Not even here a week, and already he crossed a line that he swore he would never cross again.

Jay was so hard to resist laying there naked, vulnerable and looking hotter than sin. Now he couldn’t erase the hot cowboy from his thoughts. Just thinking about him made his cock stiff, yet there was more to it than he wanted to admit.

The sensible thing to do would be to forget what had happened, to forget everything that had occurred between them and go back to the rules he’d enforced upon himself. In the morning when Jay came, he’d tell him it was a one-time thing and it would never happen again. In fact, he’d apologise for his appalling behaviour. Chances were, Jay would go right along with him and all would be forgiven and forgotten. At least, that was his hope.

Chapter Six

Steven sat in his office listening to the private detective he’d hired to search for Will, each word the man spoke sinking in slowly.

“Mr Jon is located in a small town west of here. I’ve jotted all the needed information down that you requested.” The detective slid an envelope across his desk.

“Thanks.” He handed the detective another envelope, payment for services rendered.
“Your fee.
And thanks for being fast.”

The man nodded and left.

Steven thumbed through the contents and silently admonished himself for placing Will and himself in this terrible situation.

Tomorrow, he’d catch the next stage out and find Will to tell him how much he loved him and that he wanted him to come back to him and the academy. He needed
Will
and it wasn’t until he’d gone that Steven had truly realised that.

Marrying a woman had been an unfortunate, stupid mistake. It had all been done in haste and now he found himself attached to someone he had no desire for in a most awkward situation.

Jane was pleasant enough and attractive. But it wasn’t enough. They were more like friends than husband and wife. And when she’d shown little interest in anything physical between them, he’d been relieved.

A divorce.
That’s what he needed. It just might remedy everything that had gone wrong from his bad choices.

Again his mind went to Will.
No, sir.
This time he wasn’t letting go. No matter the consequences.

* * * *

Will rose with the rising sun. It was another day and time to start anew. The stress from the night before had subsided, and now he wanted to get on with the repairs to the house.

A knock pounded against the front door just as he was about to take a sip from his first cup of coffee. Even before answering, he knew it was Jay. He inhaled deep, opening it.

“You’re early,” he said, greeting the man.

“Yeah.
I figured since there is so much to be done that I would get an early start. With the bummed leg, I’m going to be somewhat slow.” Jay shuffled awkwardly from side to side.

“Forgive me for being so rude, please, come in. I just made coffee. Would you like a cup?”

Jay nodded. “Thanks.”

They sat in the kitchen at the small table and respectively sipped their coffees.
Each stealing little glances at the other.

“I’ve done some thinking,” said Will, starting the conversation. “What we did yesterday, I’m sorry to have put you in that situation. Things happen, and it’s easy to get caught within the moment.”

“You regret it, is that what you’re saying?” asked Jay. “Did I do something wrong? Did I put you off?”

“You didn’t do anything. I just can’t complicate my life right now. I came here for a fresh start, and some mistakes cannot bear repeating.”

“I see. I’m a mistake.” Jay stood. “I’ll be up on the roof if you need me.” He strode out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

Will started to follow him but stopped. He’d best leave it alone.

* * * *

If Jay could have kicked himself in the ass, he would have done it right then and there.

He had no regrets about what they did. He liked Will, a lot. And as mad as he was at this time, he still didn’t hold any malice towards him.

By noon, he had removed all of the old rotted wood and started in on the replacement areas.

Will hadn’t ventured outside and when he took a break from working to eat his lunch, he figured he’d be the bigger man and extend his hand back in a gesture of friendship.

Two knocks and Will answered.

“I’m sorry for storming out earlier,” he muttered, his eyes cast down on his boots.

“It’s okay.” Will stepped out from the house beside him.

“No, it’s not. I’m truly sorry.”

Jay felt Will’s hand slip to the small of his back. “I accept your apology, but only if you accept mine. I’m rather messed up and I’m not sure if I know what I’m saying or feeling half the time.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about.”

“Maybe…but we’re friends, or I would like to think we are. Friends treat each other with a certain amount of respect.”

“And honesty,” added Jay. “I liked what we did. When I look at you, I feel something. Right now, I want to take you inside that door and do it all over again.” He waited for Will’s response and reaction. “I know you want it too. I see the way you’re looking at me now. It’s still there, that same feeling. You want me, don’t deny it. You want me just as much as I want you.” Jay reached for his hand. “Come inside.”

* * * *

Will shuddered when Jay’s tongue connected with his right nipple. Shirtless, he looked like a God—a God from some book on ancient mythology. And now in bed together, they embraced.

“How could you ever say that this was a mistake?” asked Jay, looking at him, a wry grin adorning his lips. “This could never be a mistake, not in this lifetime.”

Will gasped as Jay snaked his tongue across his torso then further down, found him throbbing and waiting. He guided Jay along, gripping his firm shoulders.

Jay was correct. Try as he might, he couldn’t deny the chemistry between them. It felt right. They had something, something he’d never felt with Steven.

 
Pulling away, Will slid onto his stomach, arching his butt in the air. Jay licked the back of his neck and he shivered with anticipation.

“Tell me you want me,” said Jay. “Tell me how much you want me doing naughty things to you.”

“I want you,” he replied.

“How much?”

“More than anyone…ever.”
It was true, he ached for Jay.

“You’re my boy.”

He yelped when Jay pushed inside his ass. “Yes, I’m yours. Do me, please, with that big cock.”

“Beg.”

“Please, fuck me hard. Give it to me, I need it.” Jay quickened his pace, while Will’s tight hole clamped around the slab of manhood filling him.

“Turn over.” Jay grabbed him by the hips, flipping him over. “I want to see you while I fuck you.”

Face to face, they kissed.

Jay went deeper and something inside him let loose. In a hot burst of molten fire, he exploded, his orgasm rocking him, causing him to cry out.

“Fuck,” yelled Jay. “You’re making me come.” He grunted then yelled again. “That’s it baby. Take it, take every inch of me.”

“Wow, just wow!” said Will. “I don’t smoke, but I swear, if I had one right now I would.”

“You’re cute when you get that look.”

“What look?” asked Will.

“That ‘thinking’
look
. That line crosses your forehead, and, well…it’s cute.”

“Don’t be silly. You’re just saying that.”

Jay kissed him, hard. “I always mean every word I say.”

* * * *

Steven detested travelling, and this stagecoach was proving to be the most uncomfortable ride of his life.

Shut up,
his mind screamed, as the woman who sat across from him tried to start a conversation. He had no interest in learning anything about her or her soon-to-be-married daughter. Perhaps if he closed his eyes and pretended to sleep, she’d give up.

“Oh dear,” she sputtered, bringing a white handkerchief to her nose. “The dust always gets to me. I must be boring you with my chatter.”

He nodded and smiled through gritted teeth. Sometimes it was better to say nothing.

When he reached his final destination, he was more than ready to step back into the world again.

“And here you are, sir,” said the driver, tossing his bags to the ground.

“Be careful with that! Is this it?” he asked, looking around at the dust bowl that masqueraded as a town.

The driver responded with a smirk then drove
off,
leaving him standing in the middle of what he guessed was a road.

“Are you lost?” An elderly man approached him.

“Yes and no. I need a place to stay for a couple days.”

“Mrs
O’neil
just up yonder.
She rents rooms.” The elderly man pointed with one bony finger.
“Down that way.
The yellow house with the rose bushes.
You can’t miss it.”

“Thanks,” Steven replied with a nod, grabbed his bags and headed off in the direction the man had indicated.

* * * *

At six he was done for the day. Not a bad day’s work for someone who had been side-tracked. Jay snickered to himself and looked up at the cloudy evening sky.
Rain.
He could smell it in the air. He gathered his tools and knocked on the front door to tell Will he was heading back to the ranch.

“All done?” asked Will.

“For today.
There’s going to be rain, but you should do okay.” He grabbed Will and moved in to kiss him. “I never tire of this. If only I didn’t have to go. I’d take you to bed right away.”