Tivi's Dagger (3 page)

With the donkey tethered in the stables,
Brin laid its burden on the floor of the room in which we were all
to sleep. It was an austere wooden room with a tiny window at the
top through which a shaft of light illuminated four mattresses
thick with straw evenly spaced across the bare floorboards. The
meager furnishings consisted of a small table and a chest where he
stashed the sealed box and our purses before sealing it with a
chain pulled from his pack.

“
What’s in this box you guard,
Brindar?” Lana said, dropping her pack on top of the nearest
mattress.

Brin placed his belongings on the mattress
furthest from the one she had selected and scowled. “It contains
none of your business.”

I suspected that the box contained a stolen
copy of the Protectors’ Bible; Brin could no more surrender it than
his own sword arm. Some light reading for the long journey ahead,
no doubt; I hoped he would keep its content to himself. The irony
of our situation did not escape me. I, a true apostate, could live
easy and without fear as long as I did not opine about religious
matters in public, whereas Brin had always been a devout soldier of
the Thirteen and yet now faced an uncertain and dangerous
future.

Kari was waiting patiently at the door. I
deposited my pack on the mattress next to Lana’s, and went to stand
beside him. My eyes travelled over the silver metal, knitted so
fluidly over his body and – once more – his face. It seemed he had
a strong nose underneath the cloth, black eyebrows and bright blue
eyes lined with the thickest black lashes I had ever seen and which
would have, had he been a woman, hinted at a great beauty.

“
Why do you cover your face, and yet
don’t hesitate to remove your clothes?” I asked him.

His eyes smiled again. “Winters are harsh at
these heights. Sometimes the snows fall so thick about the
monastery that we are cut off from the world for weeks at a time.
Covering the head and face is necessary in such conditions, for
warmth. Our mode of dress became a tradition, or a fashion if you
like, many years ago. That’s all. I’m ashamed of neither my face
nor my body, if that’s what you thought.”

I fingered the material of his robe. It was
indeed metal, as I had suspected, both an armor and a cloth. Dark
underclothing protected his skin from the itchy feel of the metal.
I wondered whose hands had spun such an impossibly fine mesh. The
tailors of Lis could only dream of such workmanship. It made the
rolls of silk we were carrying look perfectly shabby.

“
It is a grand armor you
wear.”

He was watching me intently. “And yet you
wear no armor at all, nor cover any part of yourself.”

We walked outside. “I am clothed, is it not
enough?”

“
I didn’t mean your clothing. Come,
the pool.”

The pool was a natural one, fed by steaming
water which overflowed from it down the face of the sheer drop to
the left. The face of the rock beside was bare of creepers. There
was a very faint smell of rotten eggs in the air. With no shelter
around us, the wind bit at our exposed flesh. The steamy depths,
full of bubbles, suddenly looked very inviting.

A line of wooden boxes with lids lay in the
brush beside the pool. Kari gestured to them and waited expectantly
for us to remove our clothing and place it inside. Lana whipped her
leathers off in good humor, followed by Kel, who was blushing once
again. Finally my brother began to remove his armor and allowed the
pieces to clank into the box with a thunderous expression on his
face. I took off my coat and waistcoat and unbuttoned my fine shirt
and breeches, trying not to gaze at Kari. He stood by the edge of
the pool with the wind in his face and the view of white mist
ahead, slipped off his shoes, then began to unwind the silver cloth
from his body.

It was like watching the peeling of an
unknown and exquisite-looking fruit. First, he revealed his legs,
firm and covered in dark curls of fine hair that thickened toward
the thigh. Underneath the silver he wore a dark brown swathe of
cloth as an undergarment, which he unwound quickly to reveal a
muscular torso – not the bulky body of someone used to carrying
heavy weights and fighting with clubs in the pits, but one whose
strength lay in agility. His skin was a creamy shade of brown, much
lighter than our own, and his chest was lightly dusted with black
hair. Last – or almost; there was still the final gray undergarment
at his crotch – he peeled off the silver covering his face and
head.

Shiny black hair fell down his back in thick
curls, tapering toward the end into thin ringlets that brushed the
top of his undergarment. It was hair that had never felt the touch
of a blade. When he turned to us, I observed that his jaw was
pleasingly angular with his chin strong and dimpled in the center
and his mouth wide and honest. There was a small gap in the front
of his white teeth which he flashed to us in a shivery smile as his
dark nipples hardened against the wind. I wondered how we could
ever have mistaken him for a woman.

“
Are you waiting for the mists to
swallow you? Let’s lie in the warmth of the spring!” And with that,
he whipped off his undergarment and stepped into the steamy pool,
flashing a glimpse of dark arse-crack and firm buttocks.

Kel slipped into the water like an eel and
scooted to the far side where he clung to the edge and stared into
the expanse of gray sky. Brin kept his back to us, muttering
mutinously, until he was up to his ears in the water, one hand
covering the apostate’s brand over his heart and the other his
genitals. Lana was frozen in the middle of removing her final boot,
open-mouthed at the sight of Kari, who was now floating shamelessly
in the water on his back, eyes closed, tiny bubbles clinging to his
hair as it spread out all around him like seaweed, a look of free
contentment on his face.

I took Lana’s hand and we stepped into the
water together. The stones underfoot were warm and slippery. It was
a wonderful feeling to be immersed in the steaming pool with the
air so cold around us. Kel was doing a very poor job of trying not
to ogle Lana’s body. She relaxed into the wet warmth with a sigh of
joy and I was gratified to see a faint blush darkening my brother’s
cheeks as he kept his eyes fixed on the horizon.

Completely in tune with my desire to
surreptitiously annoy my brother at every opportunity, Lana unwound
her hair from its long braid and made a good show of washing
herself. By the time the skin on our fingertips was starting to
wrinkle, Brin’s face was almost purple and Kel was trying covertly
to tame an obvious erection. Kari seemed oblivious to the tension
in the air and stepped out of the water into the bitter wind with a
shiver. He pulled a towel from one of the boxes and began to dry
himself vigorously as he shone a smile on us. “Was it not
glorious?”

“
Glorious indeed!” I affirmed
heartily, getting out beside him and grabbing a towel as Lana did
the same.

“
Are you planning to stay in there
forever, Brindar?” Lana spoke brightly through chattering teeth, as
she rubbed the cloth around her crotch.

Brin needed both his arms to haul himself
out of the water and for a few seconds he was exposed completely.
The brand on his chest had faded from a seared, angry red to a
shade of brown. He had battle scars as well: the circle on his
shoulder from an assassin’s blade, a jagged cut on his neck from a
drunk wielding a broken bottle while the Protectors were shutting
down yet another tavern, a Y-shaped burn on his leg where the skin
still stretched red and raw-looking after all these years. That one
was all me, a clueless child playing in the apothecary who had
thought it would be most amusing to throw a vial of green bubbles
over my older brother’s trousers. As he seized a towel he glared at
me, and I dropped my gaze.

The wind was all the colder now we were so
warm and I lost no time pulling on my clothes, one eye on Kari who
was winding the length of silver about his lithe body with
practiced ease. When we were all fully clothed once more, Kari led
us back to our quarters and paused by the door as Brin pushed past,
clearly fallen into yet another foul temper. Kel wandered off in
the direction of the latrines and Lana went to the stables to see
to our donkey.

Kari smiled at me again with his eyes. “I
hope you will sleep well, Nedim.”

“
Just call me Ned, everyone else
does.”

“
Nedim is a beautiful name. In our
language, it means something close to
proud one
.”

I gave him what I hoped was a modest grin.
“Not me at all, then. Just Ned, that’s fine. Really.”

“
As you wish,
just Ned
.”

There was a silence as we looked at each
other in the creeping dusk. Pale birds were gathering in the
branches above us, chattering and flapping as they settled for the
night. Kari’s eyes seemed to change color to match the sky, just
like the sea. I found it very difficult to look away from that
exotic gaze.

“
You have a beautiful face, Kari. I
wish you didn’t cover it so fully.”

The smile never left his eyes. “You
will see it every day from tomorrow on. Come the morning, the
Mother will release me from the Temple and then I’ll be just a
pilgrim, as you are. If you happen to get up with the dawn, you may
come and watch the ritual. It would be an honor,
tiyal
.”

I stretched and felt the weariness in my
limbs. “Perhaps. My body is tired and unused to such exercise. If
the dawn will wake me, then I will come.”

“
To the dawn, then.” He bowed slightly
and walked away.

***

It was not yet light when I awoke to the
sound of the pale birds circling outside the window, calling out in
their harsh voices that the day was about to begin. Rubbing the
sleep from my eyes, I sat up. Lana and Kel were snoring softly, and
my brother’s bed was empty.

I found it unlikely that Brin would have any
interest in watching Kari’s ceremony. Intrigued to see where he had
gone, I slipped out of bed, pulled on my clothes, and tiptoed
outside. The sky was brightening with a purple pre-dawn haze that
penetrated the fog with hints of sky. The trees clawed at the mist
as if to part it but without success. The sleeping monastery was a
beautiful sight with its ancient wooden beams and sloped slate
roofs, and I was tempted to linger in the yard just to gaze upon
it, but my bladder had more pressing demands. I took a lungful of
the fresh mountain air and walked toward the latrines, trying to
ignore the irritating rub of my boots against my feet.

After I had relieved myself, I washed my
hands and face in a freezing fountain and walked toward the main
building, where I assumed the ceremony Kari had spoken of was to
take place. The goat was grazing lazily under the tree, surveying
the scene through bright amber eyes. I spotted Mother Kiti and some
other elderly-looking monks kneeling on straw mats in a
semi-circle, all dressed in shining silver. In front of each of
them there was a glass tumbler of wine. I hoped that Brin was also
seeing these monks drinking alcohol first thing in the morning;
imagining the shock on his face brought warmth to my heart.

I sat on the milking stool near the goat.
Mother Kiti waved and called out a greeting that I returned with a
smile. The wind was cold, and my breath made shapes in the air, but
it was pleasant weather all the same. The monks began a melodious
chant and, as they raised their glasses to the sky, Kari appeared
from a nearby door and went to kneel in front of the small
gathering. He was dressed head to toe in his monk’s garb, face
covered in silver, but when he glanced in my direction I saw the
smile in his eyes and just for a moment, my heart thumped a little
faster.

It was a short ceremony and I did not
understand what they were saying, but the elder monks spoke one by
one until finally Mother Kiti got up and stood in front of Kari.
She raised her palms to the sky and then pulled a knife from the
belt of her robes. Kari unwound the covering from his head and
allowed his hair to fall down to the base of his spine. Then the
Mother moved behind him and, handful by handful, sliced off the
ringlets until his hair reached just above his shoulders. When it
was finished, he stood up and the elder monks unwound his silver
mantle until he stood in his undergarments, unshivering despite the
chill in the air. They dressed him in dark brown travellers’
britches, thick socks, sturdy leather boots, and furs over which
they hung a silver tunic, made of the same cloth as their own
robes. Finally, he bowed, and Mother Kiti, with tears in her eyes,
kissed him on the forehead.

They knelt together and raised their glasses
to the sky, drank as one, and then it was done.

When the elder monks had gathered their mats
and retreated back inside the main building, Kari stood for a
moment staring after them, touching the tips of his hair with a
distant expression on his face. Stripped of his monk’s robes he
looked so different, so much younger with the shorter hair. He had
clearly forgotten I was there and was looking so bemused that I had
the sudden thought it would be us who would have to guide him,
rather than the other way around.

I went over to where he stood and put my
hand on his shoulder. “Are you well?”

He swallowed a couple of times before
gesturing around with a vague sweep of his hand. “Ah, Ned! I am
trying very hard not to appear so sorrowful! This monastery has
been my whole life. It will be a wrench to leave them, especially
my grandmother, for she was ever formidable when we passed through
Khar Tam together. But the feeling will pass, as do all things. And
anyhow, I’ll return to them in time.” He turned to me and smiled a
bit too brightly. “I must pack the last of my belongings. When
you’ve eaten and gathered yourselves, I will be waiting.”