Tiny Dancer (19 page)

I
did realize I harbored a secret, guilty comfort watching nervous Claudia escorted to the front of the strip club. She had boasted more than once she had no point of reference for a broken marriage. The fact I concealed a sort of sinister consolation at Claudia’s plight surely meant I was destined for eternal flames at such a thought. Even though I felt assured Claudia had merely intercepted a prank call about her daddy, though, maybe she would remember and offer more support when I needed a friend to lean on.

“
So you’re a famous dancer, I hear,” said Daryl, moving to the center of the backseat so he could see me.

“Used to be,” I said, not at all interested in divulging my private matters to Drake’s
not-so-bright cousin.”

“Drake’s mentioned you a lot
to me. If you know what I mean. . . Peaches.”

“Don’t say anything else
,” I said, so mad at Drake I could smack him for insinuating I’d have anything to do with his Cro-Magnon cousin. “I need time to think.”

“Drake gets the pretty girls.
I told him he should share.”

It made it no less painful
to hear a troll like Daryl talking about me in the same sentence as wanton Drake. “You got an ID says your twenty-one?” I asked.

“In my pocket,” said Daryl.

“I need you to do something for me. But I don’t want to involve Claudia or Drake,” I said, drawing him into my conspiracy.

“What do I get in return?” he asked
, smiling in a way that made me uncomfortable.

“You ever do anything for the sake of being one of the good guys, Daryl?”

He scratched his head.

“Do this for me and you’ll be a good guy for once,”
I said, believing I was tapping into  some human part of him. I was wrong.

“One kiss,”
he said.

“I’m under age,” I
reminded him, just short of calling him a troglodyte.

“So am I,” he said, grinning. “It’s a fake ID.”

“But you look so old,” I said, wanting him to know I had no interest in him.

“Do I get the kiss or not?”

I don’t know how long I paused. But he would not relent. “After you’ve done what I need,” I said and then swallowed hard. I tried not to bat an eye. I gathered up my pocketbook and walked a few feet ahead of him, keeping a safe distance. I would not take his arm as Claudia had done with Drake. I wished to goodness I could trade partners with Claudia right now, although Drake was no good to me without the ID.

I
steered Daryl to the other side of the sidewalk where Claudia could not see us. Claudia was doing a good job staying hidden among the college students who seemed to be gathering for someone’s birthday as several had shown up bearing gifts.

After I distanced my
self from Claudia’s post, I took Daryl aside and told him, “I want you to go inside. Try to make your way back to where the dancers are preparing for their stage acts. You should find a backstage entrance for them.”

He grinned at the prospect of an encounter with an exotic dancer. “Aren’t you a surprise?”

“I want you to ask if there is a dancer by the name of Alice Curry.” I cringed, figuring he would connect our names. When he didn’t, I pulled out a notepad and pen from my pocketbook. I scrawled a note and folded it up. “Please don’t read this. When I tell you that it is urgent and important, will you trust me not to read it?”

He put his
arms around me, looking into my eyes. “For a kiss from you, I’d risk a night in jail, princess.”

I
pressed the note into his hulking hands, resisting the urge to shove him back. “Give this note only to Alice Curry. If she isn’t around, then bring it back to me. I’ll be waiting here under this tree,” I said, adding in a whisper, “for you.” I untangled myself from Daryl’s grip. Then I took a few steps backward, nearly tripping off the walk. I waited in the dark shade of the large tree next to the club.

Daryl meandered past the group of students
, not so much as glancing in the direction of Claudia and Drake who were still keeping watch for guests crossing the parking lot. He was at least following orders.

I
stayed in the shadows to draw no attention from any male guests looking for girls who were easy pick-ups.

Daryl had been gone fifteen minutes.
I was beginning to feel anxious. The parking lot was overflowing and guests were parking in the street. A cloud cover moved across the sky streaking the moon. I was certain I heard a distant rumble. A breeze blew my hair around my face. The moon disappeared entirely making the night dark as tar.

Finally, Daryl’s
lumbering frame moved toward me, a colossus causing pedestrians to part and allow him to pass. He was only a few yards away when he threw open both arms, saying, “I did it, princess. Where’s my kiss?”

I wanted to run, but had cornered myself. I
would at least try and stall him. If I had to kiss him, I didn’t want to risk Claudia seeing me do it. If forced, I would tell him not here, to walk me back to the car. I prayed for a miracle.

Then a stage door opened. I
was completely unaware of the backstage entry until now as it squeaked open behind me a few feet from where I had hidden under the tree. A thick-necked bouncer stood in the doorway taking up the entire opening. “Anyone out here named Flannery Curry?” he asked, bored.

I
whirled around. “I’m Flannery Curry,” I said, not even glancing at Daryl.

“You’re company is requested inside,” he said. “Follow me.”

I never felt so relieved to be entering a strip joint and not a parked car. Before I followed the bouncer inside, I said, “Daryl, tell Claudia to wait for me. Don’t leave without me.”

“You shouldn’t go in there,” said Daryl.

“I have to,” was all I had time to say before the door closed.

An antiseptic stench risi
ng from musty wood hit me square in the face. The building was mostly constructed of aging wood, wood ceilings and plank floors thickened by numerous layers of paint. The bouncer identifying himself as Eddie led me down a corridor with walls too thin to drown out the noise from the disorderly audience gathered beyond the dancer’s dressing rooms, out in front of the stage.

Eddie knocked on a splin
tered brown door, saying, “Starlight, your visitor.” He left me alone in front of the door. I hoped that the dancer called Starlight would take one look at me and tell me I was mistaken.

I felt a lump in my throat, my mouth dry. My
mother’s face flashed in front of me from my last memory of her the day she left. I remembered her slender frame, her blue cotton print dress. Hair pulled back in a ponytail that made her look like a teenager.

The door opened, but not wide enough to see anyone in the
dim yellow light of the hallway. “Come inside,” said the woman. “Hurry.”

I
stepped into the room. The first thing I noticed was a pink wall and a bright red lamp adorning a vanity. Then I froze when the door closed behind me.

“Yo
u’re gorgeous,” she said, standing off as if she were taking me in.

“Alice Curry?”
I had imagined I might cry upon sight of my mother. But instead my chest tightened and I could barely breathe.

We stood looking at one another. It wasn’t a dramatic moment like when you meet your mother at the bus station after a long trip.
Truth be told, I could think of a hundred other places I would rather be at this moment.

“Do you have a hug for me after all these years?”

I embraced her. I was surprised at how skeletal she felt, like a bag of bones underneath her faded white satin robe. “I can’t believe it’s you,” I said. I could not manage a smile, although it seemed right and proper to show her some affection. Too many years between us had suddenly opened up into wide and unfamiliar terrain. I could not think of what to say. I felt nothing but anger. To be honest, I wanted to scream at her.

“It’s been so long
,” she said. “I wouldn’t blame you if you called me Alice.”

I had not rightly decided what I should call her.

“Your hair, it’s turned auburn,” she said, cupping the ends of my hair.

“I’ve colored it,”
I said.

“Perfect for your skin. You
did inherit my red hair, though.” She said it like a question.

“Yes.”

“If you’re born red, you stay red. I guess you’d understand why I want to know how you found me,” said Alice.

“On accident.”

She invited me to take a seat on a soft worn sofa and then sat next to me, drawing up her bare knees and hugging them with her arms. “Not to sound motherly all of a sudden, but you really shouldn’t be here, Flannery. I wouldn’t wish anyone here, but especially you. What brought you here?”

“My friend Claudia was looking for her daddy. She thought he might be seeing someone here.”

She seemed taken aback, protectively silent, as if she were accustomed to shielding male clients. Perhaps my presence softened her, for she asked, “What’s his name?”

I
did not want to say. I shifted around trying to find comfortable seating on the smelly cushion.

“No matter. I don’t care. I’m just glad to see you.” She lit a cigarette and smiled. “I don’t know that you’re quite as glad to see me, though.” She pulled a bit of tobacco off her tongue.

“I am,” I said, biting my lip. “But, no, I didn’t expect to find you here, not in a place like this.”

She
got up when one of the other ladies working at the club pounded on her door. She had five minutes until her act. She stuck her head out and asked the girl to reschedule her dance number in the final slot. The other dancer seemed to like her and was glad to help out.

“I guess you’ve made friends here,”
I said. “Good to have friends.” Everything coming out of my mouth sounded insincere and wooden.

After an awkward pause, Alice said, “I know this looks bad, but you’ve no idea the trouble that followed me after I left.
One thing led to another. None of it good.”

I was already fighting a sinking feeling. I
finally turned to face her. “I’m not here to judge you, Mama.”

“Mama.”
She looked stunned upon hearing herself called “mama” after all these years. “I’ve never stopped being your mother. I want you to know that. I’ve wanted to come and see you so many times. But not like this. I’ve been saving up so I could walk away from here, start again. But, most of all, to see you again.”

“Start again where?”

“California.”

“You always said you’d end up on the west coast,”
I said, still struggling to sound agreeable. “On the big screen.”

She laughed, surprised. “You remember.
You were always a smart little girl. Nothing got past you. I’ve gotten too old, though, for the camera. But I’m still good at make-up and hair. I’m getting my certificate in cosmetic’s school.”

“You could work for the stars in Hollywood,”
I said. Although I didn’t know if she had always been star struck for celebrities like Vesta.

She
seemed bolstered by my words. “I’m really good, Flannery. A photographer called me up to service a print model. She said I made her look better than any make-up artist she’d ever worked with.” She smiled, saying, “First reference and all that.”

“You’re le
aving here soon then?” I felt oddly resentful that she might leave the state so soon after meeting me.

She
looked toward the door. A group of dancers gathered outside laughing coarsely. The light evaporated from her eyes. “Yes, soon. I’ll let you know”

“We moved,”
I said, pulling out a notepad and pen. I gave her our phone number. “You can call me anytime, day or night and I’ll answer.” Then I hesitated before adding, “Using a different name though, in case I’m not home.”

“Yes, yes, of course.”

“Before you move to California, right?”

“I promise,” s
he said. “Will you not tell your daddy yet though? I’d rather give some thought to how I should let him know. I wouldn’t have told you where I was working if you hadn’t shown up like this.”

“I won’t tell Daddy,”
I said, still tamping down an angry feeling. I wasn’t making an empty promise. I could not stand the look in Daddy’s eyes if he knew the truth about Mama.

Someone knocked again.

She got up to answer the door. She talked in whispers to a man who questioned her delay. She closed the door and told me, “You’d better go. I don’t want you around when I go on, if you know what I mean. Besides, the boss needs to see me and I’d rather not let him in until you leave.” She stood looking at me as if I was an object, far off.

I purposely situated my
self in the front seat next to Drake again. I ignored Daryl’s sullen glance when I closed the front passenger door. I had told so many lies tonight I wasn’t in the least worried about breaking an idiotic promise made to Daryl under duress.