Time Will Tell (15 page)

‘My pleasure.' Jake paused. ‘Are you okay, Em? You seem awfully quiet? Understandable, I guess, given yesterday's shock.'

‘I'm fine, seriously. It's just that when I've had a really vivid dream it sort of makes me feel weird for a while. I just feel a bit out of kilter.'

‘Sort of like you're stuck between reality and the dream?' he asked. ‘I get the same thing, though it hasn't happened to me for ages. So, tell me about your dream. Unless of course it was some erotic fantasy in which I featured.'

Emily looked up at him and blushed furiously. Jake was grinning cheekily. Was he flirting with her?

‘I knew it; I'm just so damned irresistible,' he said, throwing his arms wide. Emily looked away.

‘Don't be ridiculous, Jake. I did
not
have an erotic dream about you.'
May as well tell him
. ‘But you did feature. Fully dressed. In a suit actually.'

‘Really? How very odd. Must have been a
very
important occasion to get me dressed up. Where were we? We were together, I take it?'

‘Yes.' Emily found herself relaxing. ‘I think it was the opening of something. For all I know, it's a sign I'm to open a B&B or something,' she said with a laugh and took a deep slug of her now lukewarm coffee.

‘This place would be great for a B&B. As I said the other night, you could fill in the side verandah for ensuites off the rooms on that side.'

‘Seriously, though,' she continued, ‘do you think dreams are there to tell us things – guide us?'

‘God, that's one of those meaning-of-life questions,' he said with a laugh. ‘And it's way too early in the morning for
that
conversation. But I do think you'd be a great host – you're a fantastic cook, and great company.'

‘Thanks Jake, I've loved you being here.'

‘And I've loved being here.'

They fell into a slightly awkward silence.

‘I guess you need to decide just how much you like having visitors – every week or weekend, not just here and there,' Jake finally said, breaking the silence.

‘Hmm. You don't think I'm too far from town – off the beaten track?'

‘Not necessarily. Some people might see that as a virtue – it's all in the marketing.'

‘But would anyone want to be so far from a major city or town?'

‘Are you kidding? Of course they would – to see birds, trees, taste your cooking, not to mention your wonderful jam. God, Em, it's what the sea change, tree change, thing is all about – people escaping from their life and re-charging, if only for just a few days.'

‘There's actually a retired couple, the Havelocks, setting up a B&B the other side of town.'

‘Competition is healthy. And you might be going for different clientele. I imagine an older couple might want older, retired, people visiting. You just choose your market and then target it correctly. For instance, you make it more appealing for middle-aged executives rather than families with snotty-nosed kids. Not that all kids are snotty-nosed,' he quickly added.

‘Oh, I hadn't even thought about who. I'm not sure I'd want children running through the place.'

‘Well, that's important to know from the start – it'll help you formulate your plan.'

‘It's not that I dislike kids, I just don't have any experience with them.'

‘I know what you mean. My cousin Milly's kids are pretty good, but just one day with them is enough; I'm always pleased to hand them back. It's exhausting.'

‘So you really think a B&B could work here? I'm not too far out of town?'

‘You just have to make it worth the effort, that's all. The more cellar doors and antique shops that open up in the area, the more people who will be looking for nice accommodation. And I'm sorry, but the motel in town won't really cut it. I'm sure it's clean and comfortable, but it's hardly a dream getaway. I checked them out online before I rang you, actually.' Now he looked a little sheepish.

‘Why?'

‘I wanted to visit, but wasn't sure how you'd feel about me staying here on my own. And being Christmas and everything… Anyway, they were booked out all weekend.'

‘Well, I'm glad they were booked out; I've enjoyed having you here. I'm going to miss you.' Emily hadn't meant to say the words out loud, but it was too late.

Next moment Jake's hand was across the table and over hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. Emily looked up at him.

‘I'm going to miss you too,' he said.

She tried to read his expression. Was it just friendly, was he teasing, or did he seem slightly sad too?

‘Oh, look at the time. I'd better get going.' Jake leapt up, breaking the spell and the silent gaze before it could get awkward again.

He collected their bowls, spoons and mugs, and carried them to the sink. Emily followed him as he left the kitchen, collected his small suitcase and strode towards the front door. She felt a pang of sadness watching his back. She had always hated goodbyes.

They hugged on the verandah; Jake, a head taller, with his chin near her hair.

Then he bent down and ruffled Grace's ears.

‘Look after your mum, there's a good girl,' he said to the dog before standing up again. He gave Emily a quick peck on the cheek before skipping down the steps to his car and stowing his suitcase in the boot.

He got in, turned on the vehicle, and drove away with a wave from the open window.

Emily continued to stare, long after his car was swallowed up by the trees. Had he lingered just that bit longer than standard friendship? Had he kissed her hair affectionately? Had he held her tighter than when he'd hugged her on arrival?

Grace's claws to Emily's thigh brought her back and she went inside, telling herself the catch in her throat was silly.
God, Emily, it's like you're seeing your husband off to war or something. Get a grip
!

‘Such a bloody romantic,' she said aloud. ‘Come on girl, let's go find the last of the apricots and make some jam to try and keep our minds off everything.'

In the distance she noticed dark clouds beginning to loom.
That'd be right
, she thought wryly. They matched her mood.

Chapter Fifteen

While Emily was occupied with gathering the last of the apricots, the bank of heavy purple-grey clouds moved closer. It was only when she finished and looked up to check their progress that she noticed. They seemed to chase her and Grace as they hurried back down the gully to the house.

‘Phew Gracie, just in time!' Emily said, a little out of breath, as they closed the door on the black sky and the first large drops began to fall. Soon it was coming down in buckets.

Thankfully she had jam to make to distract her from looking up at the roof for signs of damp. Worrying wouldn't help; she'd just have deal with leaks when and if they happened. She silently asked the house gods for a break.

She had just finished filling the jars and was washing up the pans when her phone rang. She dragged off her rubber gloves as she crossed to the kitchen table. Her parents' number was on the screen.

‘Hello, Emily speaking.'

‘Emily. It's your mother.'

Emily steeled herself for the inevitable. Enid's tone told her she was about to be told off.
What have I done now?

‘Hi Mum. How are you feeling? We missed you on Christmas day.'

‘Well, if you were concerned, it might have been nice for you to enquire about my welfare, Emily.'

‘Sorry, I've…'

‘Anyway, that's not why I'm calling. Now, your father and I have just heard about John's accident. What a terrible tragedy for you. Poor John. Please accept our sincere condolences.'

‘Thanks Mum.'
You do realise we were estranged, don't you?

‘How are Thora and Gerald holding up?'

‘I don't know. I haven't spoken to them.'

‘Why ever not?'

‘Uh, well, I'm not really sure what to say.'

‘Oh Emily, now is not the time to be selfish. They need your support. They are going through the worst thing a parent can go through and you don't know what to
say
? Oh for goodness sake.'

Emily tightened her shoulders. She was supposed to be a strong, independent woman, not a five-year-old girl. She had to stand up for herself.

‘Mum, John and I were separated. You know that. It's not for me to turn up and pretend like everything was fine. How would that look?'

‘Like you care, Emily. That's how it would look. Why should Thora and Gerald suffer because of your petty little squabble? They're family; they need us around them at a time like this.'

‘Well,
you
call them.'

‘I will. Just as soon as I know you've been out to see them!'

‘Mum, I'm not driving out to see them.'

‘Now Emily… Oh hang on. What is it, Des?'

There was the sound of a hand being put over the phone and a muffled conversation in the background.

God,
should
I be going out there – pretending our separation didn't happen? I'd look like a complete hypocrite. It wouldn't be right, the estranged wife of their dead son turning up and acting like a grieving widow. No, I won't do it.

Suddenly Enid was back on the phone. ‘Emily, your father is demanding to speak to you. Just think about what I said and for God's sake do the right thing.'

‘Bye Mum,' Emily said, but there was no response. Then there was the scratching sound of the phone being handed over.

‘Hi Em.'

‘Hi Dad.' She let out a sigh of relief.

‘Are you okay? John's death must have shaken you up a bit.'

‘It has a little. I know Gerald and Thora have lost their son. I just don't…'

‘I know, dear heart. You and John and Thora and Gerald have history. Just because your marriage didn't work out, doesn't mean you don't care what they're going through.'

‘So do you think I should be going out there to see them?'

‘That's not for me to say.'

‘I'm not totally heartless. I just don't think it would help them to see me.'

‘I tend to agree.'

‘Mum thinks I…'

Des Oliphant let out a deep sigh. ‘Sweetheart, you and I both know your mum means well, but she has the blinkers on when it comes to you and John.'

Blindfold more like, Emily wanted to say.

‘The only person you are answerable to is yourself. You can only do what you feel is right.'

‘Thanks Dad.'

‘You don't have to thank me. I just want you to be happy – we both do.'

‘Mum sure has a funny way of showing it.'

‘Take no notice. This has hit her hard. As I'm sure it has you. Grief's a funny thing. Well, you know – not
funny
funny.'

‘I know what you meant.'

‘I think every new death reminds us of all those we've said goodbye to before. It isn't necessarily the person, but the feeling around death – the memory of the loss and… Oh, listen to me getting all philosophical.'

It made a lot of sense, but before Emily could reply, he continued.

‘All I'm saying is, allow yourself to feel whatever you feel, and do whatever you have to do for your own soul. No one else can truly know how you really feel and certainly no one can tell you how you should react.'

‘Hmm.'

‘I know you have Barbara, and I'm so pleased you do, but if you need another shoulder, you only have to ask.'

‘Thanks.'

‘And don't worry about your mum. As I've said, we all deal with death and grief in our own way. It's a tricky business.'

‘Hmm.'

‘Okay then, better go and see if the eye of the storm has passed,' he said jovially. ‘Bye for now.'

‘Okay, see you. Thanks for the call.'

Emily hung up and was surprised to find herself bursting into tears. And not just a few drops. She plucked tissues from the box.
Oh Gran, I miss you so much
. Her heart ached so badly she could barely draw breath.

Grace appeared beside her and nudged her leg. Emily slid off the chair and onto the floor to cradle the dog in her lap. With her arms wrapped around the puppy, she sobbed into the soft fur on her neck.

‘Oh God, Gracie,' she mumbled. ‘What would I do without you?'

Soon Grace struggled free from Emily's grasp and sat in front of her mistress, catching the tears that dripped from her chin, her head twisted slightly and her features showing the concerned expression that was so much a part of the border collie. Emily couldn't help but smile. Slowly her tears subsided.

‘Mummy's okay, she's just a little sad,' she said. She put her hands around the dog's small face, leaned forward and kissed her on the head. ‘Your granddad's right; grief is a tricky business.'

Of course she was sad about John – all death was sad. But it didn't mean she was ready to forgive him. Maybe one day, but right now it was all too recent, too raw.

She felt for Gerald and Thora as well, but she couldn't just drop everything and rush to their side like the good little daughter-inlaw. It would be too awkward. She'd see them at the funeral, and in the meantime she'd send a nice card and carefully worded note.

Emily felt much better for having made the decision. Although there was a lingering niggle of doubt. What would Gran have said? Damned if you do, damned if you don't?

She got up from the floor and pulled herself together. Outside, the rain was coming down hard.

Minutes later her phone rang again and Jake's name appeared on the screen. Emily was so relieved she almost burst into tears again. It took considerable effort to keep her voice steady.

‘Hi Jake!'

‘Hi Em, how's things?'

‘I'm okay. How was your trip back to the steel city?'

‘Fine. No dramas. Anthony and I are off for an early dinner and then it will be a very early night. I'm pretty tired actually. As I'm sure you must be…'