Time for Grace (5 page)

“We should find a seat,” he heard Miriam say. He nodded and followed the two women up one of the aisles.

They sang five praise songs. The congregation clapped and tapped their feet to the upbeat tunes then the praise leader said a prayer calling for God’s blessing on all of them. Jim called for prayer for Aidan Graham after making the announcement about his accident. Then he spoke topically rather than his usual expository teaching style because it was a holiday weekend and so many members were away visiting. He was his usual insightful self, speaking about why bad things happened to good people like Aidan.

He discussed various theories, finally admitting there were no earthly answers. He laughingly confided that he planned to ask the Lord for an answer when he met Him in person. Then he added that he’d probably forget because he’d be standing before the throne and be so awed that it wouldn’t matter to him anymore.

“Generally no one who’s healthy of mind and body wants to die because, bad as life here can be, it’s what we know. If any of us had been given the choice to be born we’d likely have wanted to stay safe and warm inside our mother’s womb. What I really think happens is that after we’ve gone through the process of death, we’ll understand that it’s no big deal. We’ll be happier in the throne room than we were here. Happier than anyone could ever be here on earth.”

Kip didn’t doubt that. But he still thought he’d remember his big question and still need an answer for it. He wanted to know why some people have so few years on earth when others have so many.

A
fter the service, Sarah followed Miriam to Pastor Dillon’s office. “Pastor Jim, this is Sarah Bates,” Miriam said when the pastor greeted them in the hall outside his door.

Jim Dillon put out his hand and Sarah placed her hand in his for a friendly shake. He was a good-looking man. Tall and lean with a little graying at the temples that made him look more approachable than distinguished. His smile widened and the look in his eyes put her instantly at ease. “Sarah Bates, welcome to the Tabernacle
and
Pennsylvania. Come on in and we’ll chat about the school, our faith statement, and the particulars of the job. Do you have the application filled out that I faxed over to Miriam last night?”

Sarah handed him the completed application and the resume she’d quickly done up last night, too, then she followed him inside his office. She took a chair across from his desk as he closed the door to the noisy hall. Reading as he walked, he opened a second door to tell someone in an adjoining office that he’d located his applicant in the hall. He came back in and moved to sit behind the desk as a lovely woman with long auburn hair and sparkling eyes entered.

“Sarah, this is my wife, Holly. Sweetheart, this is Sarah Bates, the answer to my prayers.”

The look of love that passed between the pastor and his wife made Sarah’s heart ache with loneliness.

“It’s wonderful to meet Kip and Miriam’s friend,” Holly Dillon said in sort of a British accent.

“I have to be honest, I’m not really their friend. I only just met both Miriam and Kip yesterday,” Sarah explained.

Pastor Jim nodded. “Oh, I know. You were his latest Angel Flight. When I saw Kip on Thanksgiving at the game, he told me all about his plans to fly you and your baby here on Saturday. But friendship isn’t a matter of time. Don’t you think it’s a matter of heart? I’ve known some people for years but a friendship never clicked between us. I’ve counseled married couples who dated for years before marriage but they can’t get along. On the other hand I’ve felt comfortable marrying couples who only dated weeks before realizing how much they love each other. They’ve gone on to have marriages where rarely a cross word passes between them. I think relationships are a matter of heart and whether or not God has ordained them. The problems happen when we try to force a bond.”

Sarah nodded. Maybe he was right.

Pastor Dillon looked over her resume as she sat in silence waiting for questions. “Your latest post was at Piedmont Christian School in Piedmont Point, West Virginia but you were only there four and a half months,” he said at last, sounding a little concerned. “You seem to lead a very transient life.”

“
Too
transient,” she admitted before she could stop herself.

Jim Dillon’s eyebrows rose. “Are you saying you aren’t as nomadic at heart as your school records suggest?”

She forced a smile. “The moves were my parents’ idea. They’re missionaries. I thought I wanted to follow in their footsteps, but after working in Doctal for a few years, I realized it wasn’t for me.”

Sarah didn’t add that she’d had spent less than six months in Doctal with her parents. They’d moved there from Darfur to establish a mission and school and had been there for several years when she arrived fresh from college. Then suddenly their sponsoring church asked them if they were interested in opening a new mission field in another part of Africa. They’d jumped at the chance and left her behind once again. She’d stayed in Doctal but, after two and a half years, she’d had enough of the heartbreaking poverty, disease and the growing violence in the country.

“I’d kept in touch with my college advisor,” she went on with the part of the story she felt she needed to share.

“She recommended me to Piedmont Point Christian where a friend from college already worked. I went there looking for a quiet place to call home. I thought I’d found it and had planned to spend the rest of my life there. Then my husband was killed and Grace was born severely premature.”

“That must have been very difficult, especially living among people you couldn’t have known very well,” Holly said.

Sarah nodded, surprised to have her feelings confirmed by a stranger. It was a confirmation of her right to feelings she hadn’t been sure were valid. “I didn’t come to Philadelphia with the idea of moving here,” she went on to explain, “though I’d begun to suspect I’d have to move for Grace’s sake. Her surgeon more or less confirmed what I’d been thinking during a discussion yesterday. I’m confident she’ll be better off near the kind of quality doctors they have at Children’s Hospital.”

Jim and Holly glanced at each other and smiled those special smiles again. “The doctors at CHOP probably saved our oldest son’s life and they certainly changed it. He has severe asthma but they helped get it under control.”

She nodded. “Then you understand my decision to stay here. Last evening as I was thinking over my next move toward relocating us, I ran into Kip. He noticed the apartments I’d circled in the paper I had with me.” She shrugged, still toying with the idea that the Lord had finally taken pity on her and was orchestrating her move. “One thing led to another,” she said, unwilling to voice the persistent thought. “Kip told me about your need for a substitute art teacher and about Miriam’s apartment. And here I am.”

He sat up a little straighter and smiled. “Sometimes the Lord’s methods can be pretty forthright.” He picked up a piece of paper and handed it to her across the desk. “Here’s the Tabernacle’s faith statement,” he said as she took it. “We don’t require our teachers to join our congregation. But we
do
ask that their interactions with students reflect this attitude.”

She reviewed it quickly, having already read it in the church bulletin. It stated that they were not a denominational church but a fellowship who believed in the Lordship of Jesus Christ. It said they strove to know Him through the scriptures and the power of the Holy Spirit. She could easily agree to that.

It went on to say they sought to have their worship be flexible to His leading, and placed significant value on the music ministry as a tool of the Lord. She’d enjoyed the music and it had given her a sense of peace, a real accomplishment, considering how nervous she’d been when she’d arrived.

They also emphasized teaching the Word in their services so God could instruct them through the scriptures. She had no problem with any of that.

It was the final part of the statement that troubled her. They believed His Agape love was the basis of Christianity and that its manifestation was evident in the lives of those who believed.

It was exactly what had Sarah questioning God, herself and her faith. Even this man, one of the best representatives of Christ she had ever heard preach, had just admitted at the end of his sermon that he didn’t know why God allowed bad things to happen to His people. As far as Sarah was concerned, her whole life had been a roller-coaster ride of one disappointment after another. Was that supposed to be the sign of a loving God working in her life?

Instead of challenging his beliefs, however, Sarah kept silent and nodded as she set the paper on his desk. Her doubts were hers and she
did
need this job, however temporary it was. This would be a good measure of her ability to function in a Christian school again. After talking to Miriam, she realized she might fit in better in a Christian school. If she taught in a public school, she was bound to see more of the sort of behavior that had troubled her about a few of her students back in Piedmont Point.

She and Pastor Jim talked about her teaching experiences and the way she liked to conduct her art room. He explained that she could apply for an emergency teaching certificate in Pennsylvania which would allow her to teach for a year while fulfilling any requirements she was missing in order to get a teaching certificate in the state. He asked if he could contact her school in West Virginia and the missionary board who had sponsored her in Doctal.

Sarah asked him to give her a day to contact Piedmont Point Christian’s principal to tell him she wouldn’t be coming back.

“Something’s changed since Miriam spoke with me last night,” Pastor Jim told her then. “Joanne Roberts, the teacher I needed a sub for, stopped by my office after the first service this morning. She and her husband have decided she won’t be returning after her baby’s born.”

“So you only need a sub till you find a permanent replacement, is that it?” She’d really hoped to have till the spring to start an all-out job search.

Holly Dillon sighed and put a hand on her husband’s shoulder. “What Jim is trying to say is that if your references check out and if at the end of the year we all agree that Tabernacle Christian School is the place for you, you’ll be hired as a full-time teacher.”

Sarah blinked. “Oh. I hadn’t expected…” Her throat caught as tears welled up. Overcome with the sudden easing of so many burdens, she could only stare at him as more tears gathered and fell.

The pastor looked at his wife in a near panic but Sarah couldn’t stem the flow of her tears. Holly sighed. “Go,” she ordered him and rushed to Sarah’s side as the kind pastor beat a hasty retreat.

“I’m so sorry,” Sarah choked out. “I’ve chased your poor husband out of his own office. He’s probably not even going to hire me as a sub now.”

“Oh, don’t be foolish. That’s just Jim being Jim. You’d think after all these years in the ministry he’d be used to a few tears but he can’t handle crying women. Or children. Makes for chaos at home when someone gets hurt because he falls apart.” She handed Sarah a tissue and patted her back. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure the job is yours. You have every right to a few tears with all Miriam tells me you’ve been through.”

Sarah wiped her eyes and blew her nose. “It’s just all been so overwhelming and now, in one day, it feels as if a pressure valve has been opened. I’m still worried about Grace but everything else has just fallen into place. And all because Kip Webster volunteered to fly us here. I don’t know how I’ll ever thank him.”

“Knowing Kip, he doesn’t expect your thanks. Helping you would be enough thanks for him. He wouldn’t see what he’s done as deserving of a lot of notice. He’d see it as being used of the Lord. He’s a wonder. So are his sisters. We’re all blessed to have them as members.”

“I certainly feel blessed by at least two members of the family.”

Holly laughed. “Listen to us. What’s really happening is we’ve been blessed by the grace of God. Without Him, Kip wouldn’t be the kind man he is; Miriam wouldn’t have been so willing to trust you as a renter; and Jim wouldn’t have even considered hiring you on their recommendation alone.”

Sarah nodded, but a knot of unease formed in her stomach so she said little else. She just wanted to get out of there with what was left of her dignity in place. She wasn’t a foolish watering pot. She stood on her own in the world and had survived disappointment and near abandonment at the hands of her parents on and off since she was seven years old. She’d survived heartbreak when Scott was killed. Fear and pain when Grace was born so small and helpless.

Holly said Jim Dillon had decided to hire her but she would never again count on life to work out for her. What was that old saying—
The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.
If it was true, He could easily wave His hand and somehow she’d find herself trying to survive in bad neighborhoods with, or worse, without Grace.

Sarah wished with all her heart she could go back to the hopeful, faith-filled person she’d been before Scott’s death and Grace’s birth. But she felt as if a wall had been erected between her and her Savior. It was perhaps the most desolate feeling she’d ever experienced and she didn’t know how to knock that wall down.

These days that hollow emptiness was always there inside her ready to claim her if she let it. If she took this position, she knew it would be harder to drift from day to day, putting one foot in front of the other, and keeping so busy she had no time think. Day in and day out she would be surrounded by evidence of His presence.

But she had no choice. This leg up was too beneficial to turn down. She had to accept the help of these strangers who had happened into her life. She was just too tired to go it alone any longer. And she had to go on. Grace was counting on her to provide a stable life.

For Grace’s sake she would walk a road she felt unworthy to set her foot upon.