Ties That Bind (36 page)

“Okay, anger is good. Necessary, I think.” He didn't like anyone responding like a sedated, confused lamb. “But that's not at all what I meant. I was just—”

“Wait.” She held up her hand, her eyes narrowing. “How did Brandi see a picture of me? Even I don't own one, nor anyone in my family.”

His pulse quickened. What had he done? “I snapped it with my phone.”

She closed her eyes. “I'm so gullible, and you take advantage of it.”

“The picture was wrong, a bad idea I shouldn't have acted on. It was a careless, thoughtless move on my part.”

“A move?” she scoffed. “A deliberate action to accomplish your goal, and once again it just went right over my head. Do you realize that you pulled me into trusting you again?”

“I've been a messenger. That's all. I didn't want this news about the night you were born to be true any more than you or your family.”

“I'll keep my word about you and your brothers being able to give gifts to your Mamm and let people assume I'm buying them. You have until I leave to follow through and again after I return, but other than that—”

“Ariana, don't do this.”

She was going to shut him out. Should he tell her that no one on this planet meant more to him than she did? No. For a thousand reasons he shouldn't. She wouldn't believe him, and the only thing worse than her misdirected, well-controlled wrath would be her avoidance of him because of her loyalty to Rudy.

“I appreciate all your help with the café. I really do. I couldn't have done it without you. I'll go to closing this Thursday because of you. But when you're in my life, I end up trusting you, and you end up being at the center of the worst pain imaginable.”

“I get how you feel.” He searched for the right words, hoping to come up with something that would change her mind. “I crossed some lines, and you have a right to be angry about the picture, but I didn't have a choice in how this played out.”

“I believe you.” She shrugged. “I even believe that you hate the roles you play. But you reel me in, knowing me fully, while you keep your secrets that you know will kill me. Have you been spending time with the other girl? Were you talking with her, making friends with her while helping me with the café?”

The damage was done. Her mind was made up. She wouldn't call him an enemy or traitor, but he wasn't considered a friend. “Skylar feels as lost and angry as you do. She's a music and drama student in college, and she knows even less about the Amish world than you do the Englisch one.”

“Could you do me a favor? Just stay out of my life from here on. Please?”

“Ari, I can be there for you as you adjust to Englisch life. I've been there—separated from all that's familiar.” If she closed him out, she would enter the Englisch world without contact from anyone familiar to her. It would help her to have someone who knew her and understood her while she was in the Englisch world. Since he wasn't Amish, Nicholas wouldn't balk at Quill having contact, at least via the phone.

“Your motives toward me are good. I know that, and I appreciate it. But the reality of what happens between us doesn't match your goals.”

His whole body ached from the sting of her words. Was this pain similar to how she felt when he blindsided her with his secrets?

“Okay. But there's a movie that will help you a lot if you'll watch it. It's called
The Village.
Some discount it, thinking it's a horror film, but it's not. It has some scenes that will make you jump, but the story is about people who've built a safe haven, living the way our forefathers did, the way the Amish do. In many ways it's a good metaphor that will help you get some perspective and adjust to your new world. The leaders of the village purposefully teach the younger generation to fear what's outside their borders. In the end love wins…but so do the founders of the village. Watching it will help you get a grip on understanding what's happening inside you.”

“I can't imagine gaining strength through a movie, but I'll think about watching it.” She folded her arms, holding on tight as if she were cold. “I can't keep doing this, Quill—never knowing what secrets you're keeping or the damage they'll do. You believe in fighting for people's right to choose the life they want, and I choose for you to stay out of my life, okay?”

If he remained patient, would she change her mind? Should he even want her to? “Yeah, if that's what you want. But if you change your mind, call me.” He pulled her phone out of his pocket. “You dropped it on the path not too far from here.”

She took it, inspecting it while turning it over several times. “Keep it.” She passed it back. “Or give it to someone else. I only needed it to reach you, and I don't need it for that anymore.”

He'd known when Lovina and Isaac asked for his help that Ariana and he could end this way. Even so, words failed to describe how much this hurt. He slid the phone into his pocket. “Your family is worried. At least let me give you a lift home.”

“I told them I would be home by dark, and I will.”

“Apparently they don't recall you said that.”

“And apparently you are on great terms with Salome, Emanuel, and my parents, so if you wish to relieve them of any concern, find a way to get a message to them.”

“Okay, I deserve that.” He stifled a sigh. “If you change your mind, tonight or six months from now, I'm available anytime, day or night.”

“Denki. But I won't.”

“Ariana!” Rudy's voice echoed.

She glanced at Quill, giving a sad smile that said she appreciated him but was equally wary of him. “Bye.”

“Bye, Ari.”

She hurried down the path. “Here, Rudy. I'm here.” The two rushed into each other's arms.

Quill had once again destroyed her trust. There was a biblical truth he'd witnessed many times in his life: people reaped what they'd sowed.

He was a keeper of painful secrets sowed in the dark, and he reaped darkness.

S
kylar sat on the curb, waiting for Quill to arrive. Miss Tall-and-Thin hired gun was inside the house, having been instructed to leave her alone unless Cody showed up. Skylar and her parents had talked earlier, saying what needed to be said, but nothing made this easier.

Two huge, overstuffed suitcases were beside her. She would be a nervous wreck about now, except she'd sneaked out last night and met Cody. He'd given her a concoction of pills in a Ziploc sandwich bag. Two high-potency Xanax pills had taken the edge off. She looked in her purse, checking for the umpteenth time that the baggie was still there.

A lot had changed in the three weeks since she'd met Quill in the food court and was reeling from the news that she wasn't her parents' biological child. She'd overheard whispering and had begun to piece together why her dad was so passionate about dumping her somewhere and bringing Ariana into his life. He hadn't said it directly, but Skylar knew he hoped Ariana would be the daughter he'd never had. She probably would be, and Skylar wasn't going to remain in the state to find out.

Without any doubt her dad also hoped Ariana had the musical gifts that he and his mother had. Skylar was good, but her dad wanted great—like his side of the family. She was seething now, plotting how she would ditch the Brennemans, people who were nothing to her, and head to New York with Cody. That's where an aspiring actress ought to be—there or L.A.

She would've run off with Cody last night, but he said it wasn't a good time for him to leave town. He had business to attend to.

Whatever.

She patted the pocket of her jeans, making sure she had her phone too. Last night Cody had given her cash and a burner phone. If her parents—either set, her mom and dad or the Brennemans—thought she was trading in one kind of mandatory rehab for another, they were wrong.

Oh, and the
modest
clothes Quill suggested? That wasn't happening either.

Quill pulled into the driveway and got out. “Hi.”

“Hey.” She stood.

His brows knit, and he angled his head, staring at her eyes. “Your pupils are dilated. You clean?”

“I needed something to get through today, okay? It's a prescription.” Not her prescription but somebody's.

He didn't look convinced, but he nodded. “Okay.”

“You have no idea how hard this is! This is a dream come true for my parents, a new and better daughter. And now I'm supposed to slip a hundred years back in time and fit in. Why? So my Amish family can compare me to Ariana and decide I don't add up for them either?”

Quill picked up her bags and put them in the trunk of his car. “You have a lot of fears tormenting you, and rightfully so, but your view of the situation is lopsided. Ariana is unbending about the Old Ways, and how thrilled do you think your parents will be when she hides the controls to the television and refuses to go to the movies?” He smiled. “She's human, just like you, with strengths and weaknesses, but one man's strength is another man's annoyance.”

Her anger didn't let up even a little. “When I think of her, I see her like Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, easily able to work the crowds.”

“Yeah, me too.” He chuckled and opened the door for her. “But in the privacy of your mom's or dad's home, she won't be addressing any crowds. She'll have strong opinions. Your dad is pretty set in what he wants, and I think he's met his match. He just doesn't know it yet.”

She climbed in. “Think she'll give him a hard time?”

“Yeah, I do. That and a lot of other things scare me for Ariana.” He closed the door and went to the other side.

While Quill went around the car, Skylar opened her purse and quickly tugged on the baggie of pills, lifting it just enough to reassure herself she had plenty until Cody could get her more.

Quill opened the car door. She dropped the bag and shut her purse before he got behind the wheel of the car, but he eyed her purse.

She fastened her seat belt. “Can she sing?”

He put the key in the ignition and turned it. “Amish only sing as a group, no solos, and they do so during church service, weddings, or at what's called a singing, where singles meet, so it's not as if she's ever picked up a mic.”

Tucking her purse between her legs and the seat, she could feel the lump of meds. That alone reassured her that she could cope with the next few days. “I'm still waiting for an answer.”

He lifted his fingers from the steering wheel as part of an odd shrug. Clearly he didn't wish to respond. “She sang while helping out at my Mamm's and when she thought no one could hear her. You know, while tending the garden or hanging laundry on the line, and yeah, she can sing. But it holds no interest for her. Talent-wise, baking and running her café are the only things that matter.”

“I guess I can be thankful for that.”

Quill stopped at a red light. “You're focusing on the wrong things. Rather than pondering Ariana's future, ask yourself about your future. This is a chance at a new beginning for you, an opportunity to discover the real you without using. The Brennemans are good folk, so”—he held out his hand—“all of it. Now.”

“I have no idea what you're talking about.”

“May I have your purse?”

“What? No. That's an invasion of privacy.”

“Choose, Skylar. Give me the pills or your purse.”

“I liked you a lot better when we met at the mall that first time.”

“Yeah, I liked me better then too.” He bounced his hand, palm up, in front of her face. “But drugs and wallowing in self-pity help no one.”

She pulled the baggie from her purse. “Who made you the police?”

“You did. Just now.” He held it up, looking at the contents. “Is this all you have?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you know how much trouble we could get in if the police stopped us and we had these?” He shoved the stash between the cushions of the seat. “I'll dispose of them when we stop at a gas station.” He held the lower part of the steering wheel by his thumbs. “Is this your plan—to bring trouble into the Amish community and prove to them and yourself that you don't fit there?”

“I don't, so why not prove it?”

“Because you should give them a chance to like the real you—not the drug-using, rebellious girl. Is it possible you want to make them hate you? Is that easier than trying to bond? Maybe you're sure that will fail?” He waved his hand. “I'm not looking for a real answer, just sharing some thoughts. And while I'm at it, a year with your Amish family could help you become a better actress.”

“Because I'll have to act as if I'm a good girl?”

“No. Because it's life experience, and I read that good actors and actresses draw from different real-life experiences. Plus the Amish are stoic, often skilled in not saying what they actually feel. So if you're smart, you'll learn to read the nuances on their faces, and then you'll learn to mimic those.”

“Sometimes you remind me of a salesman, a good one. So why'd you leave?”

He studied her before an entirely-too-good-looking smile formed on his lips. “Very few know the full reason. I can't tell all of it, but what I can say should be of interest. If I agree to tell you what I can, will you promise to call me when you're scared and
not
use drugs?”

“Extracting a promise from a user is like asking Mother Nature not to change the weather.”

“But when it comes to yourself, you're just as powerful as Mother Nature.”

Did he honestly believe that? “The story?”

“Complete confidentiality is required on your part.”

“I can't figure it out. Are we friends?”

“We're not enemies…unless you bring trouble and heartache to Summer Grove. People I care about live there, including my Mamm.”

“Well, what do you know? We have something in common. My Mamm lives there too.” She rolled her eyes. Maybe she shouldn't
try
to do any damage. Maybe she should be nice for a few days and then call Cody to pick her up when no one is looking.

Behind locked doors the café buzzed with the voices of Lovina and Isaac's children, the spouses of the married ones, and their grandchildren. It had been three weeks since Ariana had overheard them talking in the barn. Ariana's DNA test was conclusive. She was Brandi's daughter.

Ariana laughed, and Lovina peered into the kitchen. Ari was at the stove, standing beside Abram as she tried to teach him how to make her famous oatmeal. She'd been upbeat and kind during the day, quick to laugh and assure all of them she was fine, but Lovina had heard her sobbing into her pillow in the wee hours of the morning.

What had Lovina done? Ariana would leave soon because of a question Lovina wasn't sure she should have pursued. One thing was certain. Lovina's heart couldn't take much more. Yesterday the community had gathered, lavishing Ariana with love, speaking encouraging words, assuring her they would pray for her as they awaited her return.

This morning when Lovina had eased open the door to Ariana's bedroom, she found all her children there. Most were spread out on the floor. Some of Ariana's sisters were on the bed with her. Abram had been on a pallet beside the bed, and Ariana's hand was dangling over the side of the bed, holding his as they slept. They'd spent the first several years of life sleeping hand in hand.

Ariana set a fresh cup of coffee in front of her before wrapping her arms around Lovina and kissing her forehead. “It's going to be fine, Mamm. It'll be an adventure I'll tell my children and grandchildren, my very Amish offspring, ya?”

Lovina nodded, choking back tears.

Isaac peered out the door of the café. “Nicholas and Brandi just pulled up.”

Despite the strength Ariana had shown, she'd asked that Nicholas and Brandi not be allowed to come to her home to remove her. So they'd agreed to meet here, and she would step onto the sidewalk and get into their car.