Tied Up, Tied Down (11 page)

Lorelei James

your mama ain’t gonna like nothin’ I do to force her hand, so I might as well start out balls to the wall. Desperate times call for desperate measures. And between us, sweet thang, I’m desperate to make that woman mine. Body, heart, and soul. Just to make it interestin’, I do believe I’ll start with her body first.”

In the last week Kade had taken to dropping by the shop on his way to the house.

Skylar found herself looking forward to hearing his gruff voice bouncing off the rafters.

Today he’d meandered in and flirted with Dee, played a quick game of tic-tac-toe with Josie and the daycare kids, talked horses with Bonita, and checked the alternator in Vickie’s truck. He tried to engage Nadia in conversation, but she went out of her way to avoid him.

Kade was unfailing polite with Skylar, never hinting that anything but a parental bond existed between them in front of her employees, which is what she’d wanted.

So why did she secretly wish for his public display of affection? For that hunky cowboy to swoop in and kiss her madly? Spirit her up to her office, sweep everything off the desk and screw her silly on her day planner?

Probably because she was suffering from sleep deprivation. Passion like that only happened in the movies. Real life for her was spread sheets, diapers, sleepless nights and if she was lucky, a quick bout of nookie before the baby woke up.

She’d never had much of a sex life, so the fact she was getting some good lovin’ on a regular basis should’ve made her swoon like giggling maiden. So why did it bug the crap out of her that sex had turned…routine? And that was saying a lot, coming from someone like Skylar who thrived on routine. Not only was she too chicken to take a chance on initiating sex with Kade, she was afraid he’d balk at seeing her flab-ulous post-baby body and end all sexual contact. She kept all naked encounters in the dark, figuring so-so sex was better than no sex? Right?

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Wrong. The niggling feeling that something was missing outside of the bedroom didn’t help her frame of mind because she had no frame of reference for a situation like this—sexually or personally. For the first time in a long time, she had no plan of attack, no earthly idea on how to go about implementing changes.

Sky left the office and headed home. The big screen TV in the living room wasn’t on. Kade wasn’t sprawled on the couch. The baby wasn’t in the bassinet. She tracked Kade to the kitchen where he was slouched against the back door and yakking on his cell phone.

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea. Because it’s been a long goddamn time since we done it together. Ah fuck you, I ain’t forgot how to do it. Let’s say, I’ve been doin’ some practicin’ on my own.”

She froze. Who was he talking to? What kind of practicing was he referring to?

“Right. Nah, I guess I don’t give a shit what people say about us either. So, tomorrow? Fine. I’ll be there.”
Click
.

Kade slipped the cell phone in his pocket and wheeled around with a guilty look.

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself.” Her gaze scanned the kitchen. “Where’s Eliza?”

His eyes widened in mock-horror. “Shit. I don’t know. I guess I musta left her in the barn next to the bucket of rusty nails, the pissed off horse and the loaded shotgun.”

“Funny.”

“You wouldn’t think so if it was me constantly askin’ you where our daughter was.”

Whoa. He was a little testy. “Sorry. Habit.”

“One I wish you’d break.” Kade dragged a hand through his hair and flopped in a chair. “Anyway, she’s asleep. There’s soup on the stove if you’re hungry.”

“You cooked?”

“No. Ma sent it home with me, so you know it’s edible and it ain’t chili. Again.”

Really
testy.

Skylar dished up. She sat across from him and ate in silence. As she rinsed her bowl, Kade wrapped an arm around her waist.

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Lorelei James

He removed the clip holding her messy mane and draped the waves across her shoulders, burying his face in her hair. “You always smell so damn good.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

“Your hair is beautiful. Don’t ever cut it. I’d like to feel it draped across my body as you’re ridin’ me. Bet it feels like silk on my skin.” He angled her head and kissed her neck.

Immediately tingles raced from that spot straight to her core.

“Skylar. I want you so damn bad. Let me have you.”

The man made her wet with just words. “Let’s go upstairs.”

“No. Right here in the kitchen. Spread out on this counter so I can feast on you with the evenin’ sun shinin’ on your glossy hair.”

“What’s wrong with feasting on me in a bed?”

“Nothin’.” Kade’s hands curled around her hips. “Come on, sweetheart. Be spontaneous. Be adventurous. We’re closer to the chocolate syrup here. I’d sure like to drizzle it on your sweet spot and make you my Tuesday sundae.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Maybe some other time. Take me to bed, cowboy.”

“No.” Kade stepped back, way back, letting her arms drop to her sides. “Why are you so insistent on me makin’ love to you only in a bed?”

“Why are you being so insistent on doing me in the kitchen in broad daylight?”

“What’s wrong with that? Knockin’ the dishes to the floor and havin’ my wicked way with you on the table?”

Her briefly liberating thought:
Hallelujah! A man who cares enough to figure out
what I want,
was replaced with her usual paranoid thought:
No way! It’s neon bright in
here and you’d be disgusted with my cottage cheese thighs and jelly belly.

“There’s nothing wrong with it if you’re into that sort of thing.”

“And you’re not?” he demanded. “Is makin’ love only supposed to be done in the dark, at night, in missionary position?”

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“Is that the issue? You’re discovering I’m not sexually adventurous enough for you?

Or spontaneous enough for you?”

His answering grin wasn’t particularly pleasant. “No, the real issue ain’t about me or what I want. The real issue is you’re scared to death to lose control to
get
what you want, darlin’.”

Her heart began to pound. Dammit. Did Kade really know her so well in such a short amount of time? When no one other man bothered to really see her? To dig beneath the surface, to look beyond her dress size and the size of her bank account? To figure out her cool efficiency was a facade? “Kade—”

“I can see you’re afraid to lose control to anyone, not just to me. See, I’m pretty sure you think about us screwin’ on this table. Goin’ at it on the living room floor until we’re covered in rug burns. You think about gettin’ on your knees and suckin’ me off. Or me pinnin’ you to the shower wall and fuckin’ you mindless while we’re wet and slippery.

Or me bendin’ you over the porch railin’, and poundin’ into you from behind. You think about doin’ sixty-nine with me on the couch. Or how raunchy it’d feel to have me in your ass. Or usin’ sex toys on you. Or me tyin’ you up. You think about me fuckin’ you in all the ways you’ve never let any other man fuck you.”

With each accentuated phrase, Kade sidled closer.

“But know what I really think?”

She shook her head.

“You don’t
wanna
think. You wish I’d take control of all sexual situations so you don’t hafta worry about your response. You get to experience pure sexual satisfaction without guilt. You do what I tell you, knowin’ full well that you’ll love every damn minute of it. Because you know in your heart, I’d never do anything to hurt or humiliate you. In private or in public.

“You crave that out-of-control feelin’, Sky. I can give it to you. I can give you everything you’ve ever wanted in bed and out of it. You gotta take a chance and trust me, sweetheart. You gotta take a chance a let go of your goddamned iron control and give yourself to me without boundaries.”

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Kade kissed her in a brutal show of male possession, of frustration, of absolute pure animal attraction, of a man choosing his mate and marking her his.

That raw power sucked her in like a drug. The ultimate aphrodisiac. Skylar kissed him with equal abandon, following his lead until he ripped his mouth free and backed away from her.

“Your days of controllin’ our sexual encounters end now.”

“But—”

“Ah-ah-ah. I ain’t done. If you say yes to me havin’ complete control over everything sex-wise, you don’t get to change your mind. And you sure as hell don’t get to say no, at any point, to anything I tell you to do once we start this.”

“You’re joking.”

“No, ma’am, I’ve never been more serious in my life. I’m trying to prepare you for what bein’ intimate with me means.”

Skylar stared at him, almost as if she’d never seen him before. The Kade McKay she knew would never make demands like this.

Maybe you don’t know him as well as you thought.

Maybe you don’t know yourself as well as you thought if you’re considering saying
yes to this craziness for one single minute, Skylar Blue Ellison.

She wished the prim and proper voice in her head would take a hike. Yet, his demands scared her to pieces. Maybe she could get him to back down a little. Redefine his laundry list of suggestions. Promise to ease into fun and sex games. Not start out at super-kinky and progress to wilder sexual scenarios from there.

Softly, he said, “It won’t work.”

“What?”

“The deer in the headlights look. The puppy dog eyes. The female half-pout. There ain’t no half-measures for either of us anymore, Sky. It’s all or nothin’.”

Semi-annoyed, she demanded, “So what? If I say no to being your sex slave you’re leaving us?”

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He was in her space, dark, and dangerous, all pissed off primal male. “I’m not leavin’. Eliza is my daughter and I’m in her life. Period.” He angled his head, letting his hot breath tease her ear. “And aren’t you clever, tryin’ to change my focus to something besides the fact you didn’t deny you’d enjoy the hell out of bein’ my sex slave?”

Holy crap. She hadn’t denied it. And why did just the feel of his mouth so close to her skin make her weak-kneed and brain addled, wondering if she should invest in palm fronds, grapes and silken scarves?

“I don’t expect you to decide changin’ your whole approach to intimacy right now.

I’ll give you a couple of days to think on it. Lettin’ me know your answer by Saturday oughta be good enough.”

When she didn’t respond, he teased, “Disappointed I ain’t bendin’ you over and takin’ what I want from you right now?”

Yes
. “Just trying to understand why you bombarded me with raunchy images that leave me—”
craving what and who I could be with you
“—stunned and then Kade McKay, gentleman cowboy, tips his white hat at me as he rides away?”

“I never said I was gonna play fair.”

“So am I just a game to you?”

Kade shook his head. “This is for real. This is for keeps, Skylar. Just so you know how serious I am, I moved my stuff out of your bedroom and into the guest room for the time bein’. I also put a new light bulb in the empty socket and in the lamps on the dressers.”

Crap. She should’ve known he’d figure that out. It was a silly ploy anyway and she was surprised it’d worked as long as it did.

“I’ll still get up with Eliza at night. I bought another baby monitor for my room so I can hear her. But you might wanna keep in mind I won’t be back until late the next coupla nights.”

Ask him where he’s going.

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Like hell. The old, stubborn Skylar asserted herself and pointed out they weren’t married. Kade could do whatever he wanted and damn him for not being satisfied with her in bed or out of it. But wasn’t that just the story of her life? “Anything else?”

“Nope.” He pointed to the living room. “Unless you’re up for watchin’ a little TV

with me now that we got that long overdue discussion outta the way?”

Frustrated with him, but mostly herself, she half snarled, half growled as she stormed up the stairs.

She heard Kade say, “I guess I can take that as a no.”

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“Hey, baby girl. Stop screaming. Ssh. It’s okay. Mama’s right here. Ssh.”

Eliza kept right on wailing. For the fourth hour in a row. She wouldn’t eat. She wouldn’t sleep. She didn’t have a dirty diaper. Or diaper rash. She didn’t have a fever.

She hadn’t thrown up. She didn’t have gas. She didn’t have diarrhea. She was beyond fussy.

And Skylar didn’t know why. Made her feel like an awful mother. She’d had to leave work before noon because Eliza wouldn’t stop crying. She’d tried putting her in the swing. The baby bouncer. She’d tried rocking her and singing to her and reading to her.

She’d strapped on the Snugli and walked up and down the driveway. She’d soaked her in a soothing bath steeped with calming herbs. She tried rubbing her tummy. Rubbing her back. Nothing worked.

On a whim, Sky packed Eliza in her car seat and headed for Sundance. Usually the rhythmic sounds of the tires clacking on the bumpy road put Eliza straight to sleep.

Today it didn’t matter. Eliza cried all the way into town. All thirty miles.

Sky parked in front of Sky Blue, juggling the baby carrier—complete with screaming, mad baby—the diaper bag, the Snugli, her purse and her sanity. She trudged inside. It was one of the only times she was thankful the store was empty.

Eliza shrieked as Skylar set the carrier on the floor.

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India barreled around the corner. “What’s wrong? Why are you here in the middle of a workday? Is Eliza sick?”

“I don’t know. She won’t stop crying.” Sky unceremoniously dropped everything else where she stood. “I’ve done everything I can think of and I’m at my wit’s end because nothing is helping.”