Thyla (15 page)

The grounds were now filled with girls. School had finished, and everyone was walking towards their lockers or to the dormitories. They were gossiping and laughing. It was as if I’d stepped into a parallel existence – one where everything I had heard and everything I had discovered did not exist.

A world where everything was normal.

But even here I was still a freak. I
still
stood out.

Even without my scars or being … whatever it was I was, I stood out for running. I stood out for my casual clothes and tufty, unkempt hair. I stood out for the wild, anxious look on my face. Soon, everyone was staring at me.

And then, the whispers started.

‘Look at her. She’s
so
weird.’

That was Inga. I saw her rolling her pale blue eyes.

Then, there was another whisper. ‘She looks like she’s homeless.’

I saw Jenna shaking her strawberry blonde hair and fixing me with a sneer of disgust.

Then finally I heard Charlotte pretending to whisper, ‘I don’t know why she was ever let into Cascade Falls in the first place. Daddy is too kind for his own good. She’s so wild. She’s insane. The sooner she leaves here, the better. We don’t have room for people like that. She’s a beast.’

My heart seemed to stop as a memory burst abruptly into my head. I was hiding outside an office door, clasping a basket of clean washing. I was eavesdropping! There was a male voice, quiet and sounding as though the owner was quite upper crust. He was saying,
‘We must eradicate these beasts. We must eradicate them if we are ever to fully control this colony.’

And then another voice.
‘But, sir. The men say they are
human.’

‘They are not human, Hopkins. They are beasts. Vermin. Freaks of nature. They are an unruly, disruptive influence. Surely as a gentleman yourself you understand that. Surely as a gentleman you will be on our side.’

‘But they were here before us,’
another, familiar, voice interjected. ‘
Excuse my impertinence but, if you dislike them so, why do you stay here?’

‘Who is this man, Hopkins?’
the first man growled.

‘
His name is Livingston
,’ said Hopkins. ‘
He is a guard here at the factory.’

‘Some minor prison guard?’
the first man sneered.
‘Why did you let him in here, Hopkins? Be off with you, man.’

I heard footsteps as the third man retreated – though not completely. I didn’t hear a door shut. He was hiding. Listening. Like I was. The first man proceeded, his voice quiet and menacing.

‘
Hopkins, you know that every day Victoria remains Queen is another day that our power is diminished. Soon, we will have no power at all in our motherland. The convicts are being shipped abroad at an alarming rate. In England our game is slowly disappearing. And where the game goes, so must we! And, who knows, perhaps on the other side of the world, our kind will thrive once more. This place is our refuge. It is not the
best
choice, that much is certain, but it is our only choice. Our only option if we are to survive.’

‘And the beasts? They prevent your survival?’

‘They have been intercepting our sport; stealing our game. Transforming it into their own kind. It is a horror, what they do. What we do is … a kindness. You see that, don’t you, Hopkins? We deal with the convict women much more humanely than they would be treated in the hands of the beasts.’

‘You have our support, sir. You know that. We are on your side.’

‘Your loyalty will be rewarded, Hopkins. Just be sure you keep your side of the bargain.’

‘We will provide you with women, sir. As many as you need. Don’t worry, they won’t be missed.’

‘I see now it was a grand idea appointing you as warden of this prison, Hopkins. You have done us proud. And for that, we will grant you the highest gift we can bestow.’

‘What is that?’

‘Immortality.’

I heard a door click quietly shut. The prison guard had left the room. I needed to run. I needed to hide. If the guard found out I had been eavesdropping … but then, he had been eavesdropping too, hadn’t he?

Still, I hid, curled up like a ball. I heard him run past. He was muttering to himself.
‘They’ve gone mad,’
he said.
‘They’ve all gone mad.’

A darkness fell on my memory, and I was back in reality. I felt my body shaking. I didn’t know what to do. I was surrounded by so many girls, all staring, all pointing, all whispering. I wanted to just sink through the ground and disappear.

Then there was another voice in my ear. A kinder one, saying, ‘Come with me, Tessa.’

I turned around to see Ms Hindmarsh behind me, her arm outstretched. I had sought her and now she had found me.

I took her hand, pushing back the tears that threatened to break free from my eyes.

‘I am Tessa. I am strong. I do not cry,’ I whispered to myself.

I let Ms Hindmarsh lead me away to safety.

Laurel and Erin were sitting outside Ms Hindmarsh’s office. I was grateful for their kind, accepting faces. They were not staring at me as though I was a monster, like the others had been.

‘Would you mind waiting here please, Tessa?’ asked Ms Hindmarsh, indicating towards the empty seat beside Laurel. ‘I won’t be long.’

I nodded and sat down.

As Ms Hindmarsh’s door clicked shut, Laurel turned to me and asked, ‘So, what are you in for?’

‘What do you mean?’ I asked.

‘Don’t mind her,’ said Erin, twiddling a strand of her crackly black hair between her thumb and forefinger. ‘She’s in a stupid mood. That’s why
we’re
here.’

She shot Laurel a look that was dagger sharp.

‘It completely was not my fault!’ Laurel exclaimed, pouting.

‘Oh yeah, somebody
made
you scratch “Mr Beagle is a very bad dog” into your desk with a compass,’ said Erin, shaking her head.

She was trying to look serious, but her dimpled cheek let slip her true feelings.

‘Nobody made you
laugh
when you saw it!’ Laurel retorted, and the two of them collapsed into silly, helpless giggles.

I wanted to laugh too, but it wouldn’t come. Looking at them giggling, I felt as though I was made of stone – like I was separated from their world, from happiness, by what I had learned and what it all might mean.

‘You okay?’ asked Erin, wiping tears from her eyes. ‘You look a bit pale. Look, um, I heard something. Just gossip and, I mean, tell me if this is wrong, but I heard you had an accident before you came here? You were in hospital? Are you okay now?’

I nodded. ‘I’m okay.’

Because, really, what else could I say?
No, I’m not okay. I actually think I might be an immortal monster, and my roommate is an immortal monster, too, and she wants to kill me in my sleep.

No. Laurel and Erin were more kind and welcoming than anybody else at Cascade Falls had been, but I thought – to borrow a phrase Vinnie often used when he got grumpy with you – that might be ‘pushing it’.

‘Really? Well, if you ever need anyone, we’re here. It’s just …’ Erin looked at Laurel, and Laurel shrugged, and nodded, as if to say ‘go on’.

Erin looked back at me, her eyebrows scrunched together like two dark caterpillars kissing in the middle of her forehead. ‘Okay, it’s just that Laurel and I know it can be tough here. If you’re an “untouchable”. Princess Charlotte and those other cows think they own the place and, well, they kind of do. Mr Lord pretty much pays for everything, and the rest of their fathers are all big benefactors too. All of those girls’ dads are Van Diemen Industries head honchos. Ours aren’t. Our dads are just VDI labourers, and we only got in because of our scholarships. So we’re never going to be good enough for those posh bitches …’

As if Erin’s words had conjured them, Charlotte and Inga turned into the hallway, shooting us sharpened steel glares. As they strutted by, Inga said – without bothering to lower her voice – ‘When are they going to kick those girls out of our school? It would be a much better place without them.’

‘Daddy has always been a champion of the lower classes,’ Charlotte replied. ‘I’ve always said his kindness is his biggest flaw.’

‘Oi! I heard that!’ said Erin, her lip curling.

‘I know,’ Charlotte replied primly as they walked away.

Laurel and Erin slowly raised the backs of their hands at the retreating figures of Charlotte and Inga and then folded down three fingers, leaving only the middle one standing. I giggled, despite myself. I could not remember
how
I knew the gesture was dreadfully rude. But I did. And those girls deserved it.

‘Stupid cow,’ Erin snarled, just as Ms Hindmarsh came out of her office.

‘Laurel, Erin, I thought I told you both to stay silent out here,’ she said, and I noticed a tenseness in her voice that I hadn’t heard before; one that certainly had not been present the first time I’d encountered Laurel and Erin. Back then, it seemed as though their naughtiness amused her, and it was Mr Beagle doing all the grumping. Now, she seemed just as grouchy as he was.

She sighed and rubbed her temples. ‘Come on, girls. We really need to get on top of this behaviour, don’t we? Can I trust you two to be good out here while I have a quick chat to Tessa?’

Laurel and Erin both nodded, but I saw Erin’s dimple fighting to press itself into her cheek again. I had a feeling ‘good’ wasn’t a concept Laurel or Erin understood very well – or they
chose
not to. I wished I could spend more time with them. I would, but not now. Now, I needed to see Ms Hindmarsh. I leapt from my seat and was almost in the door before Ms Hindmarsh had a chance to invite me.

‘Tessa, won’t you come in?’ she said, too late. She followed me inside, closing the door behind her, and walked over to her desk. She sat down stiffly.

‘Take a seat, please.’ Ms Hindmarsh indicated to the leather chair on the other side of the desk.

I sat, taking in my surroundings. I had been in here on my first day, but I’d been so overwhelmed I don’t think I really noticed anything properly.

The office was quite plain compared with the opulent furnishings of the rest of the main building.

On the walls were two oil paintings that looked quite old. One was of a grand palace that looked familiar to me, as though I might have seen a painting or a photograph of it sometime before. Beneath the painting, in curlicued gold writing, was the word ‘Buckingham’.

Buckingham Palace
. I did know that building. It was where the Queen of England lived.
Victoria.

The other painting showed a village street, with a church and clock tower. Beneath this painting were the words, ‘Campbell Town, 1900.’

Campbell Town looks a pretty place, Connolly. Or, at least, it did one hundred years ago.

Aside from the paintings, the rest of Ms Hindmarsh’s office was relatively sparse – just files and books and stationery items.

There was one other thing, though. One hint of personality.

It was a photograph on Ms Hindmarsh’s desk. In it were two people. One was obviously Ms Hindmarsh, though she was much younger in the photo – perhaps twenty-five or -six. She had her arm around a tall man. He was handsome and dark-haired.

Something about him reminded me curiously of Perrin. It wasn’t that they shared similar features in the way that brothers or cousins might. It was more a look in the man’s eyes. A look of knowing something that others would never know.

My eyes jerked away from the photograph and up to Ms Hindmarsh. She was staring at me inquisitively, eyes narrowed. I could see the veins pushing against the skin of her temples, the tension in her jaw.

‘What seems to be the problem, Tessa?’ she asked tersely. It seemed as though she was a different person from the soft, jolly one I had met just a few days before. Even her bouncy curls had been subdued into a tight bun. Her lips were taut and she looked more gaunt and pinched. ‘You seemed distressed in the hallway, which is why I felt I needed to bring you in here. To check you’re okay. What’s happened to upset you?’

Strangely, I found myself reluctant to confide in her. That strained voice and sober expression made me feel as though she wasn’t on my side any more. I know it’s queer, Connolly, and I know you asked me to trust her completely. But something in her eyes made me anxious.

‘Tessa?’ she said again. ‘Come on. Something has clearly distressed you. I don’t have much time, so I would appreciate it if you told me.’

I shook my head. ‘No, Ms Hindmarsh. It’s okay. I just wasn’t feeling very well. I’m okay now.’

As I said it, a wave of pain passed over my scars. It was the worst one yet, and it made me jerk forward in my seat, my hands rushing involuntarily to my spine.

‘You don’t look okay, Tessa,’ said Ms Hindmarsh, her voice now more gentle. She rose from her seat and began to move around her table towards me. Suddenly she paused, frozen on the spot. ‘Is it your back?’ she asked slowly, her voice barely more than a whisper. ‘What’s wrong with your back?’ she repeated more commandingly when I didn’t answer. There was a new heated fury in her eyes.

‘It’s nothing,’ I replied. I was truly scared now.

‘It doesn’t look like nothing,’ she said. ‘Show me.’

‘No, thank you,’ I replied. ‘Really, it’s okay.’

‘I said
show me
,’ she snapped. She reached out towards me.

I leapt up from the chair and began to back away from her, my hands held up in front of me as though she was carrying a pistol.

‘No, it’s okay,’ I said. ‘Really. I think I’ll just …’

And that’s when I felt it. Something burning in my eyes, and a tightness in my mouth – a dreadful, pulsing, tightness.

My tongue, as if by some instinct, flicked towards my teeth and when it reached them, what it felt nearly made me vomit with shock and fear.

Sharp points.

Fangs.

As I looked about the room in panic I realised my eyes were keener than ever – every detail of the room was more clear and defined. And I could smell every single scent of Ms Hindmarsh’s office separately and acutely, from the leather of the chair to the polish on the bookshelves to Ms Hindmarsh’s own sharp citrus perfume.

I looked down at my hands. My fingernails had elongated and were now dark, their ends tapered and knife-like. I remembered, abruptly, what Rhiannah had said to me, on my first day here:
‘Lovely hands … They look like they’re used for great things. You can tell a lot about a person from their hands …’

I remembered, also, that they had done this before. That night at my window. That had been real.

I looked back up at Ms Hindmarsh, and was surprised to see that she was not displaying the same fear that I was feeling. After all, I was in front of her – a monster!

But she seemed calm. She seemed knowing. She nodded slowly and all the fire in her eyes was now gone, replaced with clinical coldness.

She began walking towards me.