Three Way (31 page)

‘Don’t feel bad, you didn’t know. I’ll see you later, okay?’ she says. I watch her open the front door and leave. What the hell is going on?

I wait for Lauren to arrive. Alone. Images race through my head. Memories of me and Ashley. All those times when I just thought…we were friends that fooled around. What a karzi. This stuff just doesn’t happen. Does it? I mean, in reality. No one, especially someone like me, ends up having to fret over three girls. What am I, some sort of male sex robot alien person? Yeah, not sure where that came from either.

I stand up and walk to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror. Are you really the guy that has a problem with three separate and distinctly different women? Ashley…I mean, we’re friends who, occasionally…I like her. She’s funny, easy to be around but she’s a bit of a scatterbrain and can be harsh with her criticisms sometimes.

Lauren, beautiful, said it a thousand times but saying it again. I have a genuine connection with her. She seems into me, maybe more than I’m into her. At least, she was. But now she’s leaving I feel…an urgent need to, what, go with her? Be with her? I don’t want to be with her in New York, I want to be with her here.

And Svetla. The woman who broke my heart and somehow, to this day continues to dominate my thoughts and feelings. Yes, Lauren is a great distraction and makes me feel better about myself but Christ, me and Svetla were supposed to be together. Except I fucked it up. And she fucked Rupert fucking Gilbert. I’m swearing more, I know I am, but this stuff is serious.

A knock at the door disturbs my thoughts. I walk over and open it. Lauren stands in front of me. She’s wearing spray-on jeans and a tight-fitting white top under a dark coat. Her boobs look amazing.

‘Hi,’ she says.

‘Hi, come in,’ I reply. I close the door behind her. We head to the living room.

‘No Ashley?’ Lauren says, taking off her coat.

‘Uh, no. She had to…she left. Have a seat,’ I reply. She does as she’s told. ‘Do you want some tea or coffee?’

‘Nah, thanks,’ she says. I sit down next to her. It’s suddenly awkward, the elephant in the room looming large between us.

‘So…’ I start to say and stop, having nothing to add. Our eyes lock. She leans forward and kisses me. My head is light and the back of my throat dry. Our lips break contact and we stare at each other again. She sighs and smiles.

‘Fuck,’ she says, leaning back theatrically.

‘Yeah. Why can’t they just promote you here?’

‘I don’t know. Because that’s too easy,’ she replies. I lean back and put my arm around her. She snuggles next to me. ‘I know you’re probably going to think I’m stupid but I…’ she pauses then says, ‘I missed you a little bit.’

‘I missed you too,’ I reply, feeling the truth of the statement. I did miss her. Less than a day and I missed her. She strokes my chest slowly.

‘We’re not going to talk about New York or the job or anything. We’re just going to enjoy being with each other today, okay?’

‘Okay,’ I reply, but somewhere I know we’re both just pretending now. We sit in silence for a moment then she says,

‘It’s not working, is it?’ She pulls away and looks at me. She lightly hits me across the chest and smiles. ‘Damnit, this is all your fault.’

‘Me? How is it my fault?’ I reply.

‘I don’t know but I’m sure I could make it your fault,’ she says, chuckling.

‘Brilliant. Well most things are, to be honest.’

‘Ollie, Ollie, Ollie,’ she says.

‘Oi, oi, oi,’ I reply. The clock is ticking and it doesn’t matter what either of us do. From now until she leaves, the clock is the only thing that will define how we act and what we do.

‘Have I met the man I’m supposed to be with, only for it to be doomed to fail yet again?’ she asks. I’m unsure if she means it as a rhetorical question.

‘What if, and I’m just throwing it out there, what if you didn’t take the job?’ I ask.

‘I’ve thought about it. And yes I could turn it down. But…just feels like a step backwards. If I don’t take it, someone else will and my career will pretty much grind to a halt.’

‘It’s not only about ruling the world,’ I say.

‘Yeah okay. But what happens if I don’t take the job and we split up, I’ve lost twice.’

‘Good to see you have so much faith in us.’

‘No, but come on.’

‘I don’t know. There are no certainties in anything, are there?’ I reply.

‘Are you really asking me to give it up?’ she says. I consider her words. Am I?

‘No. Not really. I just, don’t want you to go, that’s all,’ I say. We kiss again, I run my hands through her hair.

‘Maybe we should just have sex. Take our minds off it,’ she says.

‘Maybe we should.’

We do. It’s great. It’s fun. What it’s not, however, is a problem solver. And we do have a big problem. As we lie there, in post-coital tenderness, the elephant stirs.

The door bangs shuts. Someone’s home, Ashley? Parker?

‘Hello?’ I hear Parker’s voice echo in the hallway.

‘Hi,’ I call back. I hear him approach.

‘You having a wank?’ he asks. Lauren smiles at me.

‘No, Lauren’s here.’

‘Oh, hi Lauren,’ he says.

‘Hi Parker,’ Lauren calls. She’s naked and she’s talking to Parker through a very thin door. Sexy. Or am I just weird for thinking that?

‘Hi guys,’ Nicola calls from somewhere beyond Parker.

‘Jesus,’ I whisper, rolling my eyes. ‘Hi,’ I call back. Lauren smiles at me.

‘Maybe we better get dressed?’ she says.

‘Yeah,’ I reply.

When we eventually surface, Nicola and Parker have moved into the kitchen. We walk in sheepishly.

‘Hi,’ says Parker.

‘Hi,’ I reply, ‘uh, Parker this is Lauren. Lauren, Parker.’ His eyes have gone weird, like he’s staring at a ghost or something. I frown, unsure why he’s pulling that face. Then I guess, he hasn’t met Lauren before. Nicola nudges him in the ribs.

‘Hmm? Sorry yes…this is Nicola,’ Parker says.

‘Nice to meet you,’ Nicola says. ‘Ashley was right, you are gorgeous.’

‘Yeah,’ says Parker, in some sort of trance. Nicola glances at Parker again.

‘Oh no, really,’ Lauren says, shaking her head. ‘It’s lovely to meet you both.’

‘So…you guys joining us for dinner?’ Parker asks. I glance at Lauren, unsure whether she is or isn’t. Lauren shrugs then says,

‘Sure, why not.’

‘Okay,’ I say.

‘You guys make yourself comfortable in the living room I’ll whip something up,’ Parker says.

‘Really? Sure you don’t need any help?’ Lauren says.

‘Nope, please. You ladies are guests here. Allow me to work my magic,’ he replies. I glance at Lauren who smiles and then looks at Nicola who shrugs and chuckles. Parker turns round. ‘What?’

‘You’re a dick,’ I say.

‘Better be nice if you want dinner.’

‘Okay, I would like some of your dinner, Mr. Parker, sir,’ I say.

‘Please vacate the kitchen,’ he says. Nicola and Lauren walk out. I follow but not before Parker mouths a silent ‘wow’ to me, accompanied by other male ‘go on my son’ hand gestures. Jesus, he’s immature.

‘I’ll put some music on,’ I say, walking into the living room and over to the iPod dock. Lauren and Nicola sit down on the sofa.

‘So what do you do Lauren?’ Nicola asks.

‘I’m a trading manager, working in the City,’ Lauren answers. I set the iPod to start playing a little Madeleine Peyroux, nice.

‘Oh okay,’ Nicola replies.

‘You?’

‘I’m a teacher, so…not as interesting but-’

‘I’d say infinitely more interesting,’ Lauren says. I find a bottle of red wine in my very limited collection. I know nothing about wine and I’m mildly embarrassed that Lauren seems to be used to drinking expensive Champagne on a daily basis. I hold it up.

‘Sorry, is this okay?’ I ask, looking at Lauren.

‘Of course,’ she says. I show it to Nicola who nods. Probably just being polite.

‘Hey douchebag?’ Parker calls from the kitchen.

‘Yeah?’ I reply.

‘Is Ashley joining us?’

‘Uh…don’t know. Don’t think so,’ I reply. I look around for a corkscrew, I thought it was just here. That’s so annoying.

‘How long have you and Ollie been together?’ Nicola asks Lauren.

‘Not long, a few weeks but feels we’ve known each other a lot longer,’ Lauren replies, glancing at me. I smile and continue searching for the corkscrew. It’s no use, it’s not here. I walk into the kitchen. I hear Parker on the phone. He turns to face me, phone against his ear.

‘Oh…okay. No I get it, I understand. Just…yeah, okay. Bye then.’

‘Who’s that?’ I ask.

‘Ashley,’ he says. I pause then move to the utensil drawer.

‘Did you guys just have a soul baring session?’ he asks.

‘Well she bared her soul to me, if that’s what you mean,’ I reply.

‘Seriously, how did you not know?’ Parker asks.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Everyone knew she was in love with you, always has been. You really didn’t know?’

‘No. I just thought…we were friends,’ I say, checking to make sure I’m not overheard. ‘I didn’t know she liked me…properly.’

‘Jesus, man.’

‘I know, I’m crap. Is she okay?’

‘Surprisingly, no. You know what Ashley’s like, all defensive and whatnot but underneath she’s all soft and gooey. Bit like a Cadbury’s Crème Egg,’ he says.

‘Right. Shit, I didn’t know. How was I supposed to know?’

‘Open your eyes, start paying attention to shit,’ he says. I open a drawer, find the corkscrew and begin opening the bottle of wine.

‘Lauren’s going away anyway, so maybe it will all work out,’ I say.

‘What do you mean? Where?’

‘New York. In October.’

‘Shit. For how long?’

‘A couple of years by the sound of it.’

‘Man, that sucks. Could you…?’

‘Go with her? Yeah. But then I’d be fucked,’ I reply. I open the cupboard and pull out some glasses. Parker nods.

‘Shit. That really sucks. She’s a keeper as well.’

‘Don’t remind me.’

‘Then just make sure you really imprint however many sex sessions you’ve got left. You know, for when she’s not here,’ he says.

‘Parker…’ I honestly don’t have the words to respond.

‘What?’ he says. I shake my head, pick up the glasses and wine and walk back to the living room. The girls are talking about Lauren’s jeans and where she got them. I pour them both a glass of wine which they acknowledge but carry on their girlie talk. I sit and listen and pretend to be interested in what they’re saying. I watch Lauren as she talks and reacts to Nicola. She’s so gorgeous, maybe I do need to give serious thought to moving to New York. Would it be so bad? A new start. Yes, I wouldn’t know anyone and I would have to get a new job and new friends and a new place to live and everyone might hate me. Can I really just let her just leave?

And Ashley. Where is she? Just upped and left. Upset and embarrassed. Maybe I should be out there looking for her? Or maybe she just wants to be by herself, away from me. I love Ashley, I really do. But I don’t see her like that. She’s attractive, of course, but she’s a friend. A friend that has, on occasion, been more. Am I an arsehole for not seeing the truth of the situation? I guess there’s always someone more into these things than the other but with Ash, because she’s so thick skinned, I just thought she didn’t care. If Lauren left, could I hook up with Ashley? Or would she just be a consolation prize whose heart I’d end up breaking to solve my apparent inability to be alone? There is no obvious right answer here and I know that if I don’t make a decision I’ll probably end up losing everyone. But then maybe that’s what needs to happen. No more than I deserve. I keep going on about how I need to make a decision and yet I’m not really deciding. What is it I want?

‘…don’t you think, Ollie?’ says Nicola.