Three Thousand Miles - Forever, (book #3 of Three Thousand Miles, Series) (21 page)

“Daddy, Daddy,” I hear William shout as I approach the table. I feel awkward
that he is calling me daddy and I shoot Zara a darting look as I know that she
has put William up to this inappropriate behaviour.

“Yes mate?” I say as I take the seat next to him.

 

“Can we go and see the fishes?” I laugh at his little, cute voice and then I agree
with what he is saying.

 

“Of course, let’s go.”

I spend the rest of the day getting know William better. We have talked and
played for hours and I can honestly say that I have become attached to him. I
am glad that I have met and spent the day with himand now I am even more
detriment to find out if William is my son. Zara has agreed to drop me off at
my house and she has even remembered that I like todrive so she has let me
drive her car home. The car comes to a stop at thetraffic lights and I can’t
resist the urge to look in the rear view mirror at William. I smile as I see him,
sleeping in his car seat. His chubby cheeks are rosy and his eyes are flickering
as he dreams. I stare at him until the light turns green and then I focus my eyes
back onto the London traffic. The car comes to a stop again, but this time it’s a
long traffic jam that has us held up. I sigh and gently hit the steering wheel in
frustration. Zara notices my actions and she is quick to mock me.

“I see that the rush hour traffic still gets you wound up?” I snarl at her as I hit
my foot down onto the accelerator of the car. The traffic has started to move,
but it stops dead – again. Zara begins to say something, but she stops herself
as I turn on the radio. Zara quickly turns down the volume and I shoot her an
apologising look as I forgot that William is sleeping. Zara deeply exhales and I
know that she has something that she would like to say. Therefore I alert her
into telling me what’s wrong.

“If you want to say something then I suggested that you say it, now.” The
traffic moves again and this time I gently push my foot down as I await Zara’s
response.

“I have arranged the DNA test for tomorrow.” I shake my head at her as I feel
that she is trying to play me – again.

 

“No I will arrange it.”

 

“What? Don’t you trust me?” I laugh at her comments.

 

“Of course I don’t trust you.” Zara looks furious with me, but she knows that I
won’t back down from this therefore she agrees to my change of plans.

 

“Fine, but it needs to be tomorrow, okay?” I scowl at her.

 

“What’s so special about tomorrow?” I quiz her.

“It has to be tomorrow because Chad returns home on Monday. If I sneak off
when he is home then he will suspect something’s wrong. I need to keep him
in the dark for as long as possible.” I nod in agreement and then I begin to ask
her about her relationship with him.

“I will call my doctor and have it arranged for tomorrow morning. Zara, you
told me that you were planning to leave him is thattrue?” Zara sighs again.

“Yes, I am leaving him, but he is a lot more powerful than me. He has money to
burn and I have nothing. If he tries to take William away from me then I can’t
do anything to stop him. That’s why I need you to be his father. You need to
care for him because when I leave Chad I won’t be able to take him with me.” I
pull the car into a bus stop and I switch of the engine. I turn to face Zara and I
can see that she is crying. I slowly place my hand on her knee as I try to make
sense of what she is saying.

“What exactly are you saying?” Zara is sobbing and I am forced to take her in
my arms. I scrunch my face at her touch and then I push her back from me as I
need to understand exactly what she expects me to do.

“You need to explain,” I say firmly.

 

“I have to give William up and you have to look after him for me.” I shake her.
“No, you aren’t going to abandon that child. I won’t allow it, I can’t.”

“I am not good at being his mother you have seen the way I am with him. He is
better off without me in his life and when I leave Chad, William is going to
come and live with you. I need a fresh start away from here and away from
him, I can’t be his mother.” I can’t absorb what she is saying and my heart is
now racing. I feel sick and my head is spinning, I can’t let her do this William.

“Zara, listen to me. You are not going to abandon William. How can you even
think such a thing? Is there something wrong with your head? He is your little
boy and after five years you are just going to leave him.”

“He needs a proper family and you can give him that. I don’t have the time or
the money to look after him, but you and your new little wife have everything
that he desires. When I leave Chad and that will be sooner than you think I will
leave William and never think of him again and there is nothing that you can
do to stop me.” I punch the steering wheel in frustration and Zara jumps in her
seat from my outburst. I feel my anger slipping away and I try to regain control
by taking several large breaths of air – a trick that I learned in therapy. I wipe
away the sweat from my forehead as I start the engine of the car. I pull out
from the bus stop and I continue to drive home.

The traffic is busier than ever and my head is busting. I glance at William in the
mirror - again and I see that he is still fast asleep. The traffic slowly begins to
move and I push my foot down until the car speeds off. We sit in silence for the
rest of the journey and when we finally reach the front door of my house I am
relieved that I no longer have to look at Zara’s sour–face. I open the door of
the car as Zara does same. I quickly glance into the back window of the car as I
take one final look at William. I sigh as I know that tomorrow I will find out if
he is my child. Zara jumps into the driver’s seat and she clears her throat as she
says goodbye.

“Adrian, thanks for today and think about what I said. If you do then you will
realise that it is for the best.” I roll my eyes at her and then I make my way up
the front steps of the house. Zara briefly looks at me and then he slams her
foot down and the car jerks forward. My blood is boiling as I watch her leave
and I could kill her for being so reckless – especially since she has my possible
child in the back seat. I unlock the front door and I rush into the cold house.
Alanna isn’t home yet and I make my way into the lounge as I anxiously wait
for her to come home.

Eleven

Dam it’s freezing, I think as I rush back into Michaels house. The warmth hits
me when I enter the kitchen of Michael’s apartmentand I immediately rush
over and take a seat next to him at his dining table. I throw myself into the soft
leather chair and I turn to face him. I smile and he questions me on who I was
taking to.

“Was that Adrian on the phone?” My heart races and I quickly respond trying
not show on my face that I am hiding something from him.

 

“Yes, he will be home earlier than he expected so Ihave to make a move
soon.” Michael scowls at me as he reaches for my hand.

“Please don’t leave just yet,” Michael gently squeezes my hand as he stares at
me. His icy blue eyes are heavy and they look sad. I feel that he is upset about
something, but I can’t get him to open up to me. I really hope that Chad hasn’t
upset him. I quickly remember that Adrian doesn’t want me quiz Michael
about Chad so I hold my tongue as I agree to stay with him longer.

“Okay, I will stay a bit longer. Michael is everything alright with you?” I ask
sensitively. Michael exhales and I feel that he wants to share his feelings with
me, but I can see that he is putting on a mask so that I won’t worry. I move
closer to him as I hold his hand tighter. His eyes begin to dart and he loosens
his hand away from mine. I am a little stunned, have I done something to upset
him?

“Don’t do that, Alanna.” He urges as he folds his arms intensely.

 

“I am confused, what have I done?” Michael scowls at me and now I am really
confused.

 

“You can’t hold me like that; you are a married woman now. Don’t you
remember?”

“I was only trying to comfort you because I am sensing that you have a lot on
your mind. You asked me to meet you here, but you haven’t explained why? I
am worried about you; please tell me what’s wrong?” Michael gently laughs at
my words and I can feel my temper rising.

“Why do you care about me so much?” I blush at his words. What has gotten
into him and why is he acting like this?

“You know why I care about you. You are my friend, please talk to me.”
Michael snarls and I can tell that he isn’t going to fill me in on what’s up with
him. So I begin to ask him the questions. “Is it Emma, have you two fallen out?”
Michael bites his lip as he responds.

“I care about Emma, but I can’t stop myself from thinking about… someone
else.” I blush – I hope that I’m not the one that Michael is thinking about. I
clear my throat as I try to ask him who he is referring to.

“Have you met another girl?” Michael shakes his head at my question.

“No, this girl is from my past and she is out of reach.” My heart races as I think
that Michael is referring to me. I really thought that he had moved on from his
crush on me, but obviously I was wrong. I try to shake off my feeling of guilt as
I convince myself that I am over reacting and that Michael is actually thinking
of another girl. I sit up in the chair and I lean my arms onto his glass dining
table. Michael is staring at me and I can see that he is emotional and I have to
control myself as I want to leap into his arms and give him a bear hug. Michael
is my friend and although he is in contact with Chad and he was a little rude to
me, I still care about him. Michael saved my life and I have a special connection
with him. I just hope that things don’t become awkward between us as I really
don’t want to lose him.

“I see,” I say weakly. Michael senses that I am uncomfortable and he surprises
me with his next words.

 

“Relax Alanna, it’s not you.” I breathe a sigh of relief, but do I believe him?

 

“Who is she, do I know her?” Michael shakes his head again.

“No you don’t know her. She was a girl who I met at Oxford and she was the
most beautiful girl that has ever walked the planet. I loved her but things
between us were complicated and we couldn’t be together.” I am stunned,
Michael has never opened up like this before and I have to say that I like it. I
want to know more about this girl who has stolen Michael’s heart.

“Tell me more,” I urge. Michael gently smiles and then he rises up from the
seat. He reaches out for my hand I lunge up and take it. Michael leads me into
the lounge and he sits me down onto his black leather sofa. I melt into the
comfort of its cushions and then I turn to Michael – eager to know more about
this girl.

“Her name was Becky and I was smitten by her. We dated for a few months
and then she broke my heart. Becky wasn’t looking for a serious relationship
and she just wanted to be friends. But I was too inlove with her and just being
friends was never going to be enough for me. I tried to get over her, but I
couldn’t so I fell into a deep depression which only got worse when Becky
moved away to Spain. I called her, but she wouldn’t answer and then one day I
found out that she had taken her own life.” I am speechless at Michael’s
confession. I don’t know what to say to him and I don’t know how to comfort
him. This must have been terrible for him and I can’t imagine what he has gone
through. I push my loose hair away from my face as I try to respond.
“I am sorry; I don’t know what to say.”

“There is nothing that you can say. It was a long time ago and I have had to
come to terms with it. But every now and again I can’t stop myself from
thinking about her.” I reach over and try to grab Michael’s hand but he pulls it
away.

“Alanna you need to know something.”

 

“I am listening.”

“You remind me of her in so many ways and when I saw you that night at the
event, I was drawn to you because when I looked at you I saw Becky. You have
the same long, blonde flowing hair and you have the same kind heart as she
did. When I saw you I was deep in depression and I didn’t know how to survive
it, until you came along and saved me.” My heart is pounding and I don’t know
how to respond. I quickly try to clear my mind as I try to give him an answer.

“Michael, I’m flattered that you think that I saved you but I didn’t. You brought
yourself out of that depression and you survived because you made it happen.
All I did was … be your friend.” Michael leans closer towards me and he gently
rests his hand onto my knee. I flinch a little from his touch, but I control my
anxiety as I don’t want to hurt his feelings by pushing him away. It must be
hard for Michael to open up about Becky as it’s clear to see that Becky’s death
still causes him pain. I look into his ice blue eyes and I wonder if he is trying to
mask that pain by rekindling his relationship with Chad.

“Alanna, I loved you because you filled the void in my heart that ached for
Becky and I want to say thank you for letting me be in your life.” I gasp as
Michael’s words buzz in my mind. I leap forward and I give him that bear hug
that I have been dying to shower him with. Michael grips tightly onto me as he
gently strokes my hair. I hold back my tears as I squeeze him tighter, Michael
has flattered, humbled and made me happy by openingup and I am so glad
that I agreed to meet with him today. I inhale his scent as I think that I have
gotten my friend back.

The journey home was quiet, long and exhausting. I glide Adrian’s car into the
parking space in front of our house and I smile asI notice that there is a light
on inside – Adrian must be home. I quickly grab my handbag from the
passenger seat and I jump out of the car. I make my way up the steps of the
house and as I open the front door, I see that there is a little white envelope
sitting on the windowsill. With my heart pounding, I grab the envelope and I
see that it is addressed to me. I clutch the message as I push my way through
the front door of the house and into the large hallway. I throw my bag down
onto the side table and then I start for the lounge. I walk into the living area to
see that Adrian is sitting on the sofa, talking on his phone. As I take a seat next
to him I slowly begin to open the envelope – whilst my heart pounds. I pull the
paper apart and inside I find a small piece of pink paper. I unfold the paper and
I begin to read the message which is printed in bold letters.