Though My Heart Is Torn: The Cadence of Grace, Book 2 (41 page)
Read Though My Heart Is Torn: The Cadence of Grace, Book 2 Online
Authors: Joanne Bischof
The name silenced him.
“A child needs a father. I had no right …” The way she choked out the words, he knew she was going to cry.
“What are you saying?” His body warmed as if the sun were rising within him, pooling its light through his every limb. His hand captured hers, and when she groaned, face agonized, he let her tug it free.
“I should have done this long ago. I don’t know what I was afraid of.” Folding the sleeve of her nightgown back, she pulled out another piece of paper. “But I’m not afraid anymore.”
She unfolded it slowly, and when firelight danced along the formal writing, Gideon felt his breath catch. “Cassie.”
“We had both signed it. I should have sent this long ago.” She turned her head; her eyes found his. “Gideon, I should have kept my promise. You trusted me. I want that to be worth something. I want my word to be worth something.”
She began to tremble.
“I need to get you inside.”
“Go to them.” A lock of hair slipped off her forehead when she tipped her chin up, and tears filled her eyes. “Please. And when you have your son in your arms, tell him that you love him.” She wiped at her wet cheeks. “Because he deserves all that and more.”
Breath bated, he searched her eyes. She was shaking. Or was it him? He pulled back, needing his head to clear. A deep draw of air and life seemed to fill him.
“Why did you have to change?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Why couldn’t you have just hated me until we were old and gray?”
Her words broke his heart. “I never hated you.”
“But you’re different now.” She glanced at the fire he had built her. “If you hadn’t changed, this wouldn’t be so hard.”
He turned to face her, gripping her arms so tight, he forced the muscles of his arms to relax. “Tell me.” The words shook, breath shallow. “Cassie, what are you saying?”
She motioned to the westward skyline. “Lonnie. Why her? Why not me?”
His eyes searched her face. “I don’t know.” It was the only answer he had.
“That’s my point. This”—she touched his chest and then hers—“this is what assures me.” She stared into the distance as if she could see the Bennetts’ house from where they sat. “I want more. I want to steal someone’s heart the way she’s stolen yours. Deeply, purely.” A smile lifted her mouth. “You know I can do it.”
He chuckled. How he knew it.
“More than that, I want to be
good
. I want to be trustworthy. I want this chance to do something right.”
Sensing there was more, he touched her hand when she fell silent.
“Lonnie, she’s—”
“She’s what?” The words fell from his lips so urgently that her eyes widened.
“She’s your perfect fit.” Her eyes flooded with sorrow. “There’s nothing to do about that.” She squeezed his hand, her frailness alarming, stealing a piece of his heart. “Go home to her. You must.” With a tenderness that would break his heart whenever he thought of her, she touched his cheek. “Go home to them.”
UTHOR
’
S
N
OTE
This was by far the most challenging story I’ve written. I’ve prayed over these words time and time again that they would be nothing less but honoring to God and that any piece that fell short would be trimmed away. At times it’s been overwhelming to tell the story of a scoundrel, the sins of his past and the ways he and those around him were affected by it. I can’t tell you how many times I saw this manuscript as crazy, and to hear from my editor that it was “brave” filled me with the courage to keep going—and as a dear friend shared with me, “Brave is not easy, but brave and courageous is the atmosphere where the Lord says He is in your midst and with you wherever you go” (see Joshua 1:9).
Though My Heart Is Torn
is meant to shed light on the fact that though sin will bring us far from God, there is always a way back, and that though choices in life aren’t always easy, we must look to grace: “an unearned and unmerited favor; the absolutely free expression of the loving kindness of God to men finding its only motive in the bounty and benevolence of the Giver.”
*
Sometimes life lands around our feet in broken pieces, and all we can do is allow the Lord’s strength to fill us as we pick up those portions, fitting them back together with His promises and mercy, our repentance and devotion. God will restore the broken. He gives grace to the humble and freedom to the captive.
As a storyteller, I constantly desired to ensure the historical quality of this book and to uphold the beauty and integrity of the Blue Ridge Mountains at the turn of the last century. One of my greatest desires is
to write and research as accurately as possible. For any mistakes that appear, my absolute, sincerest apologies.
Research gems always seem to live in the most surprising places. Sometimes it’s the tattered copy of the Sears, Roebuck and Co. catalog from 1900 that I found in the country store of the apple orchard in Oak Glen, or the photograph of a winter path in the
Blue Ridge Country Magazine
, or the gem of an e-mail from the Patrick County Genealogy Society, sharing the story of their kinfolk’s annulment and the circuit riders. I am indebted to the resources I’ve used over the years.
I have been so blessed by the amazing readers who gave this new author a chance. Your support, enthusiasm, and encouragement have meant the world to me. Your feedback gives me a peek into your hearts and how these stories touch you. I am forever grateful to you all for walking this path with me.
If you would like to stay in touch, you can sign up at
www.joannebischof.com
to receive my free e-newsletter, The Heartfelt Post, sent out each spring and autumn. While you’re there, you’ll see where I’m out and about on the web and can sneak a peek at my latest shenanigans—whether it’s moonshine pecan pie or a folk music spotlight, via my blog. It’s always a blessing to meet new readers. I would love to hear from you! If you like paper and stamps as much as I do, you can write to me at WaterBrook Multnomah, 12265 Oracle Boulevard, Suite 200, Colorado Springs, CO 80921.
Thank you for being a part of Lonnie and Gideon’s love story with
Be Still My Soul
and
Though My Heart Is Torn
. I hope you will join us for the final stage of their journey in
My Hope Is Found
.
*
This definition of
grace
came from
The Complete Word Study Dictionary: New Testament
(Word Study Series), edited by Spiros Zodhiates.
EADERS
G
UIDE
1. What does the title,
Though My Heart Is Torn
, signify to you? Who do you think it applies to—Lonnie, Gideon, or Cassie? Perhaps all three?
2. The first interactions between Lonnie and Gideon are much different in
Though My Heart Is Torn
than they were in
Be Still My Soul
. What differences do you see in Lonnie? What do you see in Gideon as a husband? a father?
3. The situation surrounding Gideon and the dual marriage is a tricky one. How has Gideon’s refusal to follow God’s ways affected his life? How did Cassie’s behavior contribute to their situation?
4. How do you feel the reverends handled their role as overseers of the dilemma that ensnared Lonnie, Gideon, and Cassie? Did they make wise choices, or did they complicate the quandary? Considering the culture and conventions of 1901, could they have handled the situation differently?
5. Gideon and Eli Allan were childhood friends. Yet when Eli discovers the secrets of Gideon and Cassie’s relationship, a war erupts between the two men. Though Gideon is striving to be a better man, he is also a work in progress who has much to learn. In what ways did Gideon fight against his old sin nature when interacting with Eli? In what ways did Gideon give in to anger and impatience?
6. When Cassie first regretted her marriage to Gideon and wanted him out of her life, she panicked and chose to lie about the
status of their marriage. How did her choices affect others? Can you think of a time when the choices, whether great or small, of another person changed your life?
7. Maggie sends Addie to live with the Bennetts. What do you feel was motivating her? What do you think that decision cost Maggie? What difference could this make in Addie’s life?
8. As an act of grace, Cassie lets Gideon go. In wanting to break free of her lies, she sees an opportunity to finally let her yes be yes and her no be no. (Matthew 5:37 says, “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.”) This is a heartrending choice for her, but it’s one that brings her freedom. What do you feel this says about her character? How has she grown or changed? Can you think of a time when you relied on grace to resolve an issue?
9. How do you see the series title, The Cadence of Grace, reflected in
Though My Heart Is Torn
? The series title is based on 1 Peter 5:10, “But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.” Based on this verse, what do you think is on the horizon for Lonnie and Gideon in the third and final book,
My Hope Is Found
?
CKNOWLEDGMENTS
Unending thanks to my Lord and Savior—the One who holds us up when nothing and no one else can. It is my constant prayer that these pages honor You.
To my wonderful husband and my research source for all things manly. I love following you around, notepad in hand, learning how to do everything from hunting to cooking outdoors. Thank you for swinging an ax, oh so well. And letting me watch. You are my best friend through and through. To Levi and Mabry who think it’s pretty neat that Mommy’s an author, and to baby Caleb who would eat my manuscript if given the chance. You three mean the world to me.
A very special thank you to my agent, Sandra Bishop. Living in this book are the first pages I ever sent you. The possibilities you saw helped bring us here today. Thank you for taking on this series and for believing in it from the start.
A huge thank you to my editor Shannon Marchese. You have a special skill for pushing writers beyond what they think they can do, and in turn, growth happens. I’m so grateful for your ability to shine light on my strengths and weaknesses so that this could be the best story possible. And a huge thanks to the entire team at WaterBrook Multnomah for all you do to put these stories into the hands of readers. Magic is created within your walls, and I can say from experience that, thanks to you, dreams really do come true.
There seem no sufficient words to express the sweetness of friends. Thank you to Amanda Dykes for your friendship and words of encouragement whenever the road felt rocky or too steep. Not to mention a
good laugh and a cup of tea when nothing else would do. And thanks just doesn’t seem enough to Tricia Mathys, for being a lighthouse when everything went dark and for holding my hand each step of the way until the sun began to rise. You are a blessing to the lives you touch.
A very special thank you to Beverly Nault for being the first to read this manuscript. Your critique opened up a wider world of writing for me. To Ashley Ludwig for your priceless wisdom on the synopsis. And to Dona Watson, for being the only sane one among us. Your quiet, gentle encouragement speaks volumes.
A never-ending thank you to my parents. Keep singing and praising the Lord. It’s contagious.
And lastly, to all those—friends old and new—who read
Be Still My Soul
and sent an outpouring of love through reviews, letters, e-mails and hugs, I am so thankful for you.
BOUT THE
A
UTHOR
Married to her first sweetheart, Joanne Bischof lives in the mountains of Southern California where she keeps busy making messes with their homeschooled children. When she’s not weaving Appalachian romance, she’s blogging about faith, writing, and the adventures of country living that bring her stories to life.
Gideon O’Riley, bluegrass musician and handsome ladies’ man, has set his roving eye on innocent Lonnie Sawyer. He steals a kiss from the shy girl, causing a misunderstanding that lands them in a hasty marriage. Can his young wife’s patient faith teach him the meaning of love?
Read an excerpt from this book and more at
www.WaterBrookMultnomah.com
!
