Thorneless (Rose of Thorne Series) (20 page)

Lucas

The moment I hang up the phone, I know something isn’t right with her. I can hear it in her voice.  I try to chalk it up to me being overly paranoid, but I still can’t seem to shake the chill that is shooting down my spine. I have been so worried about her overdoing it lately with her just getting out of the hospital last week.  The baby has seemed to be draining the life out of her face and I worry she isn’t getting her strength back like she should.  She had a meeting today with Mr. Yung that I had begged her to cancel. Skylar had insisted I not worry and promised that she wouldn’t overdo it. I know she enjoys what she does, but to be honest I wish she would just quit.  I can more than take care of us.  If I don’t work another day, our grandchildren will still be set for a lifetime.  I know money. It is my business, but it isn’t my life.  Skylar is everything to me. She is the missing piece to my puzzle. Now that the baby is in the picture, my love for her has only managed to grow more.

So far, no one knows about the pregnancy but Kylie and myself. She hasn’t even told her sister just yet. That is something that she plans on doing when she comes in to visit in a couple of weeks.
 I know right now, she is still trying to figure it all out for herself. My feelings haven’t changed. I want her and the baby for the rest of our lives together.  I want to hold her hand when she brings this baby into the world, along with a houseful more to join him or her in the future.  I haven’t mentioned marriage to her because I don’t want to scare her off. The ring I bought her, before coming out here to L.A., is burning a hole in my pocket. I want more than anything for her to say “yes” and slip it onto her finger, but I want to do it right, so for now I will wait.  I am afraid if I ask her now that she will think I am doing it only because of the baby.  

The baby
.

That brings me to whole new problem.
 What if she decides to tell Sebastian about the baby? Involving him in this equation is not a good thing.  It will mean that from now on, he will have some sort of part in our lives.  I am not sure how I feel about sharing any part of Skylar with him.  If they equally share this child together, then there will always be a piece of her that I will not fully have.

The son of a bitch has ripped her to the core once again.
 I know what he will do once he finds out, and it scares the fucking hell out of me.  I don’t want him playing with her mind; he has done that enough. He makes her weak and I refuse to let him move in on what is no longer his. I will not let him this time.

I drive up to gate and enter the code into the keypad.
 Slowly, it opens and I drive on up the circle drive and then I park in the front. I had fallen in love with this house the moment my buddy, Chad, had shown it to me.  With eight bedrooms and five baths, it is every possible thing any person could want.  The house is only two years old and has generated a lot of interest since the seller dropped the asking price a couple of days ago.  I had known instantly that I wanted it, but I had hoped Skylar would have been able to come with me to get her opinion. I don’t want her to think that I want to live here permanently, there is only one place I can see us sharing a future together.

 
After seeing Skylar at my grandparent’s lake house in Austin, I know for certain that I want to raise my family there, where so many wonderful childhood memories I have still reside. This house here in L.A. is a great investment, but it is no place to bring up a family.  This is just to make our life more comfortable right now.  Sure, we could just stay at a condo or apartment for the time being, but with Skylar needing to be here for a while longer because of work, I think she needs to feel the peace of being in an actual home. I want her to see the whole picture of what this can be like for us.  In a way, I am buying an idea to show her a glimpse into what our life can be like together.

I smile as I sign my name on the dotted line of the documents.
 I am putting in full asking price cash offer. I have no doubt that once Chad gets off the phone with the other real estate agent, that this will be our home.

Our home… damn that sounds good!

Sebastian

I am standing here with my heartbreaking and my mind racing, listening to her tell him that she loves him.
 She can’t love him; it just be possible. If she does, it can’t be the way she had once loved me.   Loving her is the easiest and the hardest thing I have ever done.  It is as natural as breathing, but it comes at an extraordinary price... Hurting her.

I feel her words cutting into me over and over.
 She ends the call without ever breaking her eyes from mine.  How can she stand there and look at me and tell another man she loves him?  

I can’t let this happen.
 I won’t let this happen.

I grab for her arms without even thinking.
 She looks at me with terror and I try to calm the surge of panic that races throughout my body.  I ease my hold on her, but I’m not letting go until she listens to me.

“What are you doing, Sebastian?” S
he gasps.

“Making you listen to me,”
 I reply as I pull her into the nearby pizza shop.  It isn’t the place I want to have this conversation, but it is going to have to do for this.  Pulling her back over to the hallway where the restrooms are, I ease her into a corner to give us more privacy.  

“Sebastian, stop it!” she says as she tries to wiggle from my hold. I hate that I am doing this to her right now, but I’m not letting go of her until she hears everything that I said in the letter she never read.
 The one she so easily threw away…just like she did my heart.

“Just listen to me, please.
 I need to know something.  Did you ever read the letter I left for you?”  I ask nervously.

She blinks in recognition to what I am asking and then diverts her eyes away from mine.
 “No.”

“Why?” I ask.
 I hold my breath, unsure of whether or not I want to hear the answer she is about to reveal to me.

“I tried to read it. For months I tried, but I never could bring myself to actually do it.
 I had to let it go. It isn’t good for me to…” She explains just as someone walks through the hallway carrying a delivery takeout.  As the young man heads past us to the back door, I watch her face become paler.  

Fuck, she is sick and I’m doing this to her.
 I don’t have a choice.  It is now or never. The aroma of Italian sausage fills the air and I watch her grab for her mouth.  Pushing past me, she runs into the ladies room behind us, with me following in panic behind her.  Slamming the stall door back, she heaves into the toilet in front of her. Over and over, she vomits violently.   I hold her hair back and wrap my arm around her to hold her up.  I can’t believe how thin and weak she feels against me. It is scaring the fucking hell out of me.

When she is done, she turns and
looks back up at me as I continue holding her up.  She looks even worse than before.  

I’m terrified! What can be wrong be wrong with her?

“
I’m taking you to the doctor now!  Can you walk or do I need to carry you out of here?” I ask her as I start to lift her.  She pushes me back and steadies herself so I release her.  She maneuvers herself around me in the small stall and walks out to the sink. Cupping a handful of water, she drinks it and looks back up at me in the mirror.

Gripping the sink, she closes her eyes for a second and looks down, leaving the water still running.
 I watch as she slumps forward a bit and then looks back at me in the mirror.  

“I have already seen a doctor, Sebastian.”
 Her words suck the life out of me.  In my mind, I’m thinking the worst possible scenario.  There is no way I can live without her in this world.

She can’t be dying. Oh
, God!

“What did they say?
 You need to see another one, doctors aren’t always right you know?  We can get a second or third opinion even,” I frantically reply.

“I’m afraid it wouldn’t matter how many doctors I see, they will all agree to the same thing.”

No! No! I feel like I have had the life sucked out of me.

“Skylar.” I whisper and she turns around to face me.
 Leaning back against the sink, she props herself and then looks me dead in the eyes. I brace myself. This is it.

“I’m pregnant, Sebastian.”

And with those words…my whole world changes.

Skylar

I never expected to tell him I am pregnant. I especially never expected to be telling him in the bathroom of a pizza parlor.  Studying his face, I watch as it goes from shock to glee.  I’ve never seen him this happy before.  Even when he had asked me to marry him and I said ‘yes’ it hadn’t been like this.  He is beaming with happiness and his amber eyes glow with such love that it causes me to forget everything bad that has ever happened between us.  Rushing towards me, he excitedly picks me up and spins me around.

Yeah, it’s not such a good idea to do this to a pregnant girl who has just vomited.

“Oh, baby! You’re pregnant!” He shouts happily as he eases my feet back to the floor.  I still can’t fathom how happy he seems right now.  I can’t help but be swept up in this moment with him.  He pulls me back into his arms and I melt.  This is how it should be.  We should be happily married and celebrating this magnificent news with the world.  We should be laughing at my cravings and making hopes and plans with this life we’ve created together.

I close my eyes. I see him cradling our child in his arms.
 I see him dancing with our daughter.  I see every single moment of what our future should hold, and smile through the tears that fall down my face as I lay my head against his chest.

I want this more than anything, but I can’t allow myself to have it.
 

In one cruel choice I will know I will forever regret, I say the words I know will haunt me forever.
 

He drops his arms and stumbles backwards.
 A look of horror washes over his face.  I’ve just officially ripped the soul out from the man that I love.

Sebastian

“The baby isn’t yours. It’s Lucas’,” she says into my chest.

No! It can’t be true.
 It just can’t.   One minute I am the happiest I ever thought possible and the next I feel like I am going to die.

Oh
, God, this pain. I can’t bear it!  Please make it stop!  

Something happens in that instance and I no longer am really here in this room.
 I stare at her beautiful face as she is speaking, but her words aren’t clear.  Everything she says is a mumble she moves closer, but somehow I don’t want her touching me.  I never thought I would say that.

I feel the need to leave. I don’t feel like I want to be here anymore.
 Turning my body, I feel the heaviness in my step.  It takes every ounce of energy I have to move away from her.  I feel her pulling on my arm as we reach the door.  The warm light touches my skin as I step outside. She tugs at me, but I yank my heavy arm away, and continue walking.  The sounds of the people around me fill my ears; their faces are nothing but a blur now.  I focus on where I am parked up ahead and I know I must get to my car.

As I move to cross the intersection, the noises go from muffled to loud and then clear.
 Horns loudly blare and I hear people shouting, “Stop!”

I turn my head back around and see Skylar’s horrified face among the crowd of people and watch as she screams out my name.

“Sebastian!”

I feel my body be
ing lifted into the air. I hear the screeching of the tires… the breaking of glass and then I hear the screams.  I am once again in the night that changed everything.  Suddenly, I feel the impact.  And as I lay there on the pavement, I see the beautiful turquoise eyes stare back into mine.

“S
ebastian! Oh my God! Look at me! Someone get help! Please!” She screams leaning into me.  I feel her soft hand on my face as I taste the blood in my mouth.  I look up at her, but I feel myself being pulled away.  I am so cold.  I fight to keep my eyes open, but I can’t. I don’t have any fight left in me.  

What is the use anymore?
 

And so, I allow the darkness to wash over me and take the pain away with it.