Thorn Boy and Other Dreams of Dark Desire (8 page)

Alofel was now
severely distressed by Menefer’s words. He knew, and I knew, that
Menefer spoke with sincerity and sense. We should return the Khan’s
boy; it would be seen as a magnanimous gesture and help kindle
warmth towards Cos. But unfortunately, emotions were involved, and
good sense is rarely seen in their company. Also, there was the
matter of what Akaten himself would feel about the suggestion. His
true thoughts remained a secret to both Alofel and myself, but I
sensed he would feel uncomfortable being honoured in Mewt when he
had accepted the gifts of Harakhte’s conqueror, and shared a bed
with a Cossic lover. As I sat there, trying to maintain an outward
cool, I began to wonder whether Akaten was secretly pining for his
home, for his people. Was his apparent acceptance of his position
in Cos simply a device to ensure survival? As the silence thickened
around the top table, Menefer made a frantic appeal, perhaps his
undoing.

‘
My lord
king, we have dozens of youths such as Akaten at the Mewtish court.
You may have your pick of them, but I beg you to be lenient
concerning my request.’

Alofel
fixed Menefer with a stern, disapproving eye, and I could see that
the Mewt realised immediately that he had overstepped propriety.
Alofel smiled, a dreadful sight. ‘My dear Menefer, I assure you I
have the pick of any desirable young creatures here in Cos. Akaten
is a symbol of my victory, a spoil of war, if you like. I could
have had him slaughtered on the field beside your brother, but
chose to bring him back to Tarnax only because he was a prominent
member of the Khan’s household. If your queen had been present in
the camp, I would have brought her home as well and added her to my
house of women. I cannot help but suspect that you would have
accepted
that
circumstance
with less fuss. If, by some freak chance, your brother had been in
my position, he would have done the same as I did. Mewt is my
country now, and while I appreciate the wisdom of making
conciliatory gestures towards my conquered people, I will not be
insulted in my own house, nor be bullied into making gestures
against my will. The matter is ended. I would be grateful if you
did not mention it again.’ He smiled and took a grape from a silver
dish before him. ‘After all, you have a number of ambitious cousins
who would happily take your place as regent of Mewt.’

Menefer had
gone pale beneath his honeyed skin. I saw his throat convulse.
Perhaps he was thinking about how his esteemed brother would have
handled this discussion differently, and emerged from its
conclusion with more spoils in his hands. Too late now.

The banquet
proceeded with a less informal atmosphere than before. I sensed
Alofel was now eager to leave the company. Menefer had offended
him. Also, I knew that he was enamoured of Akaten, and nothing
would convince him to give the boy up. It was fortunate that he had
a battery of excuses to present to the Mewt rather than risk
exposing the truth. If Menefer knew of Alofel’s feelings, the
balance of power in this subtle game would shift considerably.

As everyone
stood to leave the table and proceed to the halls of music for
entertainment that would drift on towards the dawn, Alofel made a
discreet series of signals to me. Understanding their meaning, I
nodded briefly, and when my absence would not be noticed, quietly
left the shining halls and made my way to the council offices,
which were on the same floor. Alofel came to me shortly.

‘
You are
close to Akaten,’ he said bluntly, as soon as the door was closed
behind him. ‘Is there any risk he might collude with Menefer? You
can be sure that, before he leaves this court, the Mewt will
somehow manage to get a message to the boy. These people are as
slippery as greased rats.’

‘
I don’t
know, my lord,’ I answered truthfully. ‘I doubt I can tell you
anything about Akaten and his feelings of which you’re
unaware.’

He nodded
thoughtfully. ‘Be vigilant, Darien. I cannot risk an incident which
might cause embarrassment. You must understand that if Akaten were
found to be in league with Menefer, in any way, I’d have no choice
but to take punitive action. Perhaps it would be best if you could
advise Akaten of this, but as subtly as you can.’

I bowed. ‘I
will, my lord.’

‘
Good.
Now, return to the party ahead of me. Speak kindly to the Mewts.
These celebrations are in their honour, after all.’

He held out
his hand and I pressed the royal seal on his ring to my brow. He
reached out and laid his hand on my head. ‘Dear Darien, your beauty
and your kindness paves my path before me. Do not for one moment
think that I underestimate all that you are doing for me.’

I hid the
cynicism in my eyes, lowered my lashes modestly. ‘My whole life is
yours, my lord.’

I should have
been more concerned about how determined Alofel was to keep Akaten
in Cos and also his mistaken belief that I had befriended Akaten in
an attempt to sway his feelings towards Alofel, but at the time, I
was just grateful for such a powerful ally. Alofel clearly had no
idea how deep my feelings ran, but that was perhaps because the
depth of his own love blinded him to the possibility. The thought
of Akaten being sent away filled me with a sick dread. If I had to
kill Menefer to prevent that happening, I would.

Later, near
dawn, I went to Akaten’s chambers. I found him asleep on the
terrace, with the sounds of merriment drifting up from below. An
empty flagon lay on its side beside him, next to a cup still half
full of wine. He was wearing only a belted robe of soft, dark
material, which hung open to reveal his thighs and shoulders,
tantalisingly clasped at the waist to hide the fruit of his body. A
night breeze had made a dune of fallen petals along my beloved’s
side. His hair was spread out on the tiles, and his puppy lay
curled upon it. Merely the sight of him engorged my lust. I fell to
my knees beside him, ran my hands over his cool skin. The puppy
awoke and scampered off, his claws ticking against the tiles.
Akaten murmured something and shifted slightly in his deep,
intoxicated sleep. My fingers slipped free the knot of his belt and
I pulled aside the cloth. His prick was thick and hard, against his
belly, his balls tight against his body. Perhaps he dreamed of me.
Feverishly, I disrobed myself, knowing I was about to steal
something precious and divine. My belly burned inside me. Naked, I
knelt beside him once more, loosed my hair so that it fell in inky
waves onto his skin. I lowered my head to his groin, lightly kissed
his fragrant balls, the steely shaft of him. Still he did not wake.
Lightly, I took him in my mouth and sucked him softly. His hands
twitched against the tiles; he sighed. His hips moved rhythmically
beneath me. Oh, my beautiful one, you cannot want to leave me. I am
your incubus, your nemesis. You must love me.

I raised
myself and straddled his body, impaled myself upon him slowly. The
tides of sleep drew back from the shores of his consciousness. I
sensed his mind drifting up to wakefulness. Still half dreaming, he
reached up to me, gripped my waist. His face was partly hidden by a
swatch of hair, but I could see he was smiling, his eyes still
closed. We moved together languorously, until his hunger became
great. Then he reared up in one fluid movement and pushed me
backwards without severing our connection, manoeuvring himself onto
his knees. I curled my legs high around him, feeling as if he drove
against my heart. He was powerful, dominant, and in my heart and
mind I was taken back to that delirious time in Phasmagore. My
lover of the shrine had returned to me! It
had
been Akaten! As this realisation crashed
through me, I cried out in euphoric release, pushing my heels
against the sky. He reached between us for my prick, aiding my
orgasm, and presently I felt him convulse within me. He fell upon
me, sought my mouth with his own, filling me with his tongue which
was bitter-sweet with the taste of red wine. I began to weep,
suffused with a sense of eternal joy and repletion.

Then Akaten
sighed deeply and stroked my face. ‘Harakhte,’ he murmured, and my
heart contracted in agony. I realised he had never truly
awoken.

It was
impossible for me to sleep, but I could not leave him. For the
remainder of the night, I lay beneath him, with his gentle snores
in my ears. When he finally awoke, I expected him to be surprised I
was there, but he merely blinked at me sleepily and smiled.
‘Darien, I’m glad you came to me.’

I could not be
entirely warm towards him. ‘You were dead drunk. Does the presence
of Menefer cause you so much pain?’

His eyes
clouded at my sharp tone. He sat up and looked away. ‘I have
betrayed my people,’ he said, then got to his feet. I watched him
as he donned his discarded robe.

‘
You
betray me by saying such things,’ I said.

He glanced at
me as he pulled his belt across his belly. ‘I know,’ he said. ‘This
is hard for me, Darien. Please try to understand.’

‘
Menefer
wants you,’ I said harshly. ‘How do you feel about
that?’

He looked
puzzled. ‘What do you mean?’

‘
Last
night, he virtually demanded that Alofel deliver you into his
hands. Is that what you want?’

He shook his
head. ‘No, of course not. I could never give myself to him. That
would be more of a betrayal to Harakhte than sleeping with you, or
Alofel, for that matter.’

‘
So much
for your elastic feelings,’ I snapped. ‘Only a few short months
ago, you were eager to bypass the stage of mourning by slipping
into my bed. Now, you talk of betrayal and...’ I couldn’t help
myself. ‘...utter
his
name
while you’re making love to me. You’re not over him, Akaten! Why
lie to me? You’re using me to make life easier for yourself! Why
don’t you just go back to Mewt with Menefer? There is a tomb there
for you to wank over! Or, perhaps in Menefer’s bed, you can pretend
your beloved is still alive. They look alike, I
believe.’

Akaten’s face
was inscrutable. I hated myself for what I was saying, but misery
and jealousy pushed aside all considerations of sense and
propriety.

‘
I will
always love him,’ Akaten said in an even voice. ‘I thought you knew
this.’ He stalked with dignity into his chambers.

I lay back on
the cold tiles and cursed myself. What was I doing? In my
stupidity, I had revealed that Akaten had a means to return to his
country. What I had not revealed was that Alofel would never allow
it to happen.

Presently, I
collected myself enough to dress and follow Akaten into the palace.
I found him in his dining room, seated on the floor by a low table,
his attendants arranging dishes of food before him. Tears ran
uncontrollably down his face, which his staff studiously ignored. I
ordered the servants out, and sat down beside him.

‘
I’m
sorry.’

He shook his
head. ‘There is no need. You’re probably right.’

That was not
what I wanted to hear. I took his hands in my own. ‘Akaten, don’t
say that. We’ve had a delirious summer together. I know you’ve been
happy.’

He tore his
hands from my grip. ‘No! I’ve been a shallow, selfish fool! Darien,
I know you care very deeply for me, and I’ve enjoyed basking in
that, but part of me is still on that battlefield, senseless with
grief and wandering blindly like a ghost. I dream of him! I see his
face among the crowds at court. At night, his voice speaks to me
sadly from the shadows while you sleep! You have been my solace, my
exorcism, but perhaps my place is beside his tomb, celibate and
faithful. I must speak to Alofel.’ He shook his head in confusion.
‘I must go home.’

‘
No!’ I
leapt to my feet. ‘You’re talking nonsense! Emotional rubbish! I
won’t let you do it!’

‘
Why?’
He looked up at me with anguished eyes. ‘Do you really want me,
Darien? I can never give you what you want. I’m only here because
Alofel thinks that, one day, I shall give myself to him. It won’t
happen! If Menefer wants me, and is persistent, eventually Alofel
will tire of his useless wooing and cast me aside. Neither you or I
will have any say in that.’

My heart was
beating so fast I could barely think. Its thunder deadened my
thoughts. ‘Akaten, you have a life. Live it. Returning to Mewt is a
ridiculous thing to do. You’ll hate yourself for it eventually. I
can heal you, but Menefer will only open your wounds - for ever.
Will he respect your wishes to be celibate? I think not. Each time
he takes you to his bed, you’ll think of Harakhte, and while
fantasy might soothe you for a while, each morning will bring
guilt. One stage of your life, though sweet, is over. You’ve been
given another chance. Don’t be a fool. Take it!’

Akaten put his
hands over his face and bowed his head. I heard him murmur, ‘Help
me, Darien.’

I put my arms
around him, kissed his hair. ‘My love, I am here for you. Always.
Yes, I am jealous of Harakhte, and always will be, but content with
whatever you can give me. I could not live without you now.’

‘
I’m not
worth this!’ he said, but relaxed against me.

‘
Oh, you
are!’ I told him hotly. ‘In the temple of Challis Hespereth, you
came to me, whether in body or spirit. You called to me, and I
answered.’

He looked at
me. ‘I don’t understand... Tell me.’

At last, I
told him everything.

He listened,
wide-eyed, and when I had finished speaking, shook his head. ‘That
could not have been me,’ but his expression was furtive.

‘
It
was!’ I insisted.