This Side of Heaven (8 page)

“Not one, sir.”

“You were hired by the North County Police Garage four years and three months before your car accident, is that right?”

Flynn knew it was. Josh had worked at a smaller garage for a few months leading up to that move. Working for a police garage meant he had the chance to go out on police calls and tow cars from crime scenes and accident locations. The work was much harder than what he’d done before—towing stalled cars and parking violators from private strip-mall spaces—but it was more pay and more prestige. It hit him again, how much he’d lost because of the accident. “Yes, sir. I worked for North County for more than four years.”

“And during that entire time were you morbidly obese— at least a hundred pounds overweight?”

The question no longer shamed him. He could do nothing to change the past. “Yes, sir, I was.”

“And how many days did you miss work the entire time you were employed by North County Police Garage?”

“No days, sir.”

“No days!” This time Flynn stepped just far enough out of his quiet, compassionate role that he could have won an Oscar for his show of surprise. Anyone in the courtroom would’ve guessed that this was new and shocking information to the veteran attorney. “Very well.” He looked down at his notes.

Josh was ready to go. He felt his feet tense up from his effort to try to remain upright.
Help me survive this, God. . . . I need You.
He shifted again and this time he found a small pocket of reserve stamina. Enough to survive.
Thank You, Lord. This is temporary, I can feel it. I’ll get through this deposition, and the next, and one day soon I’ll have that surgery. You’ll see me through it, I know You will.

I am with you always, My precious son.

Josh felt a peace push back the demon of pain.

“Now, about your weight.” Flynn lowered his notes. “You were two hundred and ninety-five pounds at the time of the accident, though you missed no days because of health issues in the more than four years you worked for the North County Police Garage. Is that correct?”

“Objection.” Worthington stood sedately, adjusting his cufflinks. “We’ve been over this, Your Honor.”

“Sustained.” The judge gestured for Flynn to move forward. “Counsel is correct. You’ve established the information about the plaintiff’s work history.”

“Yes, Your Honor. Thank you.” Flynn looked contrite. He paused to gather his thoughts. “What is your weight now, Mr. Warren?”

“Around two-forty.”

“Two hundred and forty pounds?”

“Yes, sir.”

“So you’ve lost a great deal of weight since your injury, is that right?”

“Yes, sir, nearly sixty pounds.”

“Are you on a diet to lose weight?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Would you please tell this court why you’re on a diet to lose weight?”

“Because”—Josh pressed his hand into his lower back— “I need surgery on my back and the doctor thinks it’ll be more successful if I’m at a normal weight.”

Flynn hesitated. He lowered his notes and shot a piercing look at Josh. “Did you enjoy your job as a tow truck driver, Mr. Warren?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Tell us in your words what being a tow truck driver meant to you.”

Josh hadn’t been expecting this question, and he was surprised at the emotion that welled up in his throat. “I think—I think my family wanted me to be a teacher or a writer, maybe a doctor. They wanted me to go to college after high school. But I’ve always liked the idea of driving a truck.” He shrugged, and the movement sent a different pain down the length of his back. “As a tow truck driver I could help people. They might’ve been in an accident or the victim of a crime, and, I don’t know, I liked being there for them.” He worked to keep his composure. “I loved being a tow truck driver, sir.”

“But you’ll never be able to drive a tow truck again, is that right?”

The detail wasn’t something he liked to think about. “Yes, sir. My back—even after surgery—will be too unsteady for that sort of work.”

Flynn nodded, his eyes deep with compassion. “I have one last question for you, Mr. Warren, and remember you are under oath.” He looked at his notes again, letting the drama build. “You stand to win a large sum of money in this case. Right now, if you had to decide between going back to the day before your accident and being a tow truck driver for life or winning two million dollars in this lawsuit, which would you pick, Mr. Warren?”

Josh’s throat felt scratchy and his eyes stung. “I would go back . . . to the day before the accident. I would have my health and my job, which is all I ever wanted, anyway.”

Flynn nodded slowly. Then he turned a grief-stricken face to the judge. “No more questions, Your Honor.”

The deposition was finally over. Josh didn’t know a lot about the field of law, but he had a feeling that if this were a football game, Thomas Flynn had just scored the game-winning touchdown. Out in the hallway he shook his attorney’s hand. “You’re good.”

“You’re better. Sitting up there and taking that garbage from the other side.”

He needed to understand one thing before he could leave. “Two million? I thought we were asking for one.”

“I filed an amendment. With all they’ve put you through, and with the new information from the doctor about the impossibility of you returning to your preferred line of work, I changed the amount.” They started walking down the hall. “And you know what?” He stopped and gave Josh a sad smile. “I think we’ll get it.”

Josh was in the car five minutes later, sorting through the center console of his old Mustang for a bottle of Oxy-Contin. It was six o’clock and he wasn’t due for another pill until he turned in for bed. But if he wanted to breathe on the drive home from Denver, he would have to take the medication sooner than later.

He found what he was looking for and dug around the floor of his car through a stack of legal documents and an old McDonald’s bag until he found a warm bottle of water. He opened it and downed the pill before he could give the move a second thought. One day he’d have to figure out a way off the pain meds, maybe with some of that two million dollars Flynn was going to get him. He held his breath and prayed the OxyContin would work quickly. He had a court case to win, a surgery to schedule, an old girlfriend to find, and his God to fully reconnect with. Most of all he had a little girl out there who needed her daddy.

For now, an addiction to OxyContin was hardly on his list of concerns.

SEVEN

L
indsay was putting the final touches on a spaghetti dinner, watching Larry toss a ball with Ben and Bella out back and listening for the doorbell when the phone rang. She checked the caller ID. “Josh,” she groaned. “You’re late.” She answered the phone with one hand and with the other she stirred the spoon through a pan full of noodles. “Hey, Josh—where are you?”

“I can’t make it, Linds. Sorry. Maybe nex’ time.”

“Josh?” Lindsay’s heart skipped a beat. She turned off the stove and walked to the back door, her eyes on her family. “What’s wrong? You sound funny.”

In painstakingly slow and slurred speech he told her that he’d been on the freeway for only ten minutes and that he’d taken a pain pill. “I had to, Linds. It’s so bad today. But . . . I feel sorta funny. I can breathe better but I’m a lil’ dizzy.”

“Josh, that’s terrible. Get off the freeway and get to a doctor.”

“Linds.” Josh’s laugh sounded easy and untroubled. “I’m fine. I would pull over if I thought I couldn’t drive.”

“How would you know? You don’t sound right.”

“I’m tired, tha’s all. I’m fine. The deposition went longer than ’spected. I’ll be fine with a lil’ sleep.”

“I’m staying on the phone with you.” The way he was slurring his words terrified her. “Keep talking to me or I’ll call nine-one-one.” She didn’t want to be angry with him, but if he was having trouble talking then he couldn’t possibly be driving well.

“Don’t worry about me, Linds. I’ve felt this way before. I’ve been driving under the influence of pain medication for almost three years.”

He had a point. “Okay.” She still felt worried. “Don’t worry about dinner. Maybe Saturday night—after Ben’s game and church. Larry could barbecue.”

“Yeah, Sis . . . that’d be great.”

“So the deposition . . . how did it go?”

“Flynn’s a’ best. With him and God, we’ll win this thing yet, you know?”

“Good . . . but Josh, I still don’t like how you sound. Maybe you should go to the hospital and make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine. I tol’ you, Linds. Jus’ need a lil’ sleep.”

“Okay. I’m staying on the phone until you get home.”

“I love you, Linds, you know? You’re my best friend.” She closed her eyes. What if he’d been killed in the accident? She couldn’t imagine losing him—especially not now when he’d finally found his way back to the Lord. The years ahead would be their best yet. “I love you, too, Josh. Now we need to get you better.”

“I can always count on you, Linds.”

They talked about his faith and he told her about praying for God to get him through his time on the witness stand. Flynn had doubled the amount he was asking for, but Josh didn’t seem overly excited about the fact. “You know what?” He sounded a little better than he had earlier in the conversation. “I don’t wanna get rich. I wanna get better.”

“I know, and you will.” She wished she could blink herself there, so she could take over at the wheel and get him home safely. “God has great plans for you, Josh. It’s all just beginning for you.”

“I’m gonna meet Savannah. That’s the best part.”

“Yes. You’ll be able to afford a wonderful attorney.”

“I already have him. Flynn can handle the custody case. It’s next on his list as soon as the settlement comes through.”

She stretched the call, talking about Ben’s coach naming him the starting running back for tomorrow’s game, and how Bella had designated herself as her brother’s personal cheerleader. “She’s three years older than him—just like you and me.”

“I know. They’re both lucky. Savannah will like having them as cousins.”

Lindsay wasn’t sure why, but tears filled her eyes. Her brother wanted so little from life, but somehow things had never quite fallen into place. Until now, anyway. If he could just get past his injury, get the surgery he needed, and be finished with the lawsuit. The best years for Josh really might be right around the corner. She was midway through telling him about a feature story on a local hiker whose hundredth birthday was next week when she heard him exhale loudly.

“I did it.” He sounded relieved. “I’m home. Jus’ pulled into the parking lot.”

She breathed a silent prayer of thanks. “Okay, now go in and get some rest. Saturday’s going to be a big day and you need to be feeling good.”

“I will. Tell Ben and Bella I can’t wait to see them.” His voice broke, and she realized he was more emotional than he’d let on. “Thanks for talking me through that drive, Linds. I was a little scared.”

“I love you. If you need anything, call. I’ll be right there.”

“Okay. Love you, too.”

The call ended and Lindsay dabbed at her eyes. Why was she so sad now? Her brother was home safely, and after a good night’s sleep he’d be the same cheerful guy he’d been a few days ago when MercyMe was blaring through his house. But she’d been looking forward to seeing him tonight, and without him her dinner plans suddenly seemed flat.

Lindsay sniffed and ordered her heart to change directions. She had no reason to be sad, nothing to be discouraged about. Josh was making his turnaround. Everything was going to be fine for him. Besides, they had Saturday to look forward to. Lindsay found her smile again as she finished dinner and called her family in to eat. That night at the table, six-year-old Ben said the blessing. He thanked God for the food and for family and for the football game tomorrow. And he asked God for a special favor.

“Please, God, be with Uncle Josh tonight. He’s too tired to be here, so help him feel better. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

And as the meal began and the conversation shifted to Bella’s fourth-grade reading assignment, Lindsay felt a peace she hadn’t known since Josh’s phone call. Because God had certainly heard the prayers of her little Ben and that could only mean one thing.

Josh would feel better in the morning.

Annie called her daughter’s house to find out how Josh’s deposition went.

“He’s not here.” Lindsay was helping Larry with the dishes. “He was too tired. But he said it went well. I told him we’ll do dinner Saturday night.”

Too tired? Annie had talked to Josh that morning and he’d been full of energy, ready to face the attorney for the insurance company. “He was looking forward to having dinner with you.” Immediately, Annie’s concern turned to worry. Josh’s medication was bound to have an effect on him. “Did he talk about the pain pills?”

“He said he took one before he drove home.” Lindsay’s voice fell. “Honestly, Mom, I was worried about him. He didn’t sound right, like he was half asleep or drunk or something. I’ve never heard him like that.”

“I have. It’s not good. He has to be so careful with those drugs.” Annie wrapped up the conversation quickly and immediately dialed Josh. It was just after eight o’clock, so even on a day when he was tired, he would normally still be awake. Annie stepped out onto their covered front porch and paced the length of it. The phone rang once . . . twice. . . . “Come on, Josh,” she whispered. It was still in the seventies outside but a chill ran down her bare arms. “Pick up the phone, son.”

He answered just after the fourth ring. “Hello?” Annie pressed her hand to her chest. “Thank God.” She dropped to the glider swing and sank back in the cushion. “Your sister said you were too tired for dinner.”

“I was. But I’m feeling better now.” He sounded tired, but sharp. None of his words were slurred as far as she could tell. “The deposition was terrible. The worst ever.”

On days like this, when some hotshot lawyer had dragged her son through a day of emotional torture, when he’d been forced to drive an hour each way to give yet another round of answers in a game designed by a big insurance corporation to avoid paying Josh his settlement, Annie could only picture one thing: a trip they’d taken to Yellowstone National Park the summer before Josh started middle school.

They were about to leave their tent when they heard a barking dog. Annie was closest to the tent flap and she peered out in time to see the drama unfolding in a field across from the campground. A baby black bear had wandered away from his mother and now the barking terrier had backed him up against a tree. The baby bear looked one way and then the next, searching for an escape route, but the dog quickly closed off his options.

In a blur of motion, and with a bellow that rang through the campground, the mother bear tore into the clearing, picking up speed. The dog never knew what hit him. He was still barking at the bear cub when the mother reached him from behind and sent him ten feet in the air with one swipe of her massive paw. The dog flipped three times and landed on his back, but injured or not, he had the sense to run for his life.

The danger to her baby behind them, the mother went to her cub and licked his face, nuzzling him and hovering over him until the two of them returned to the forest.

That’s how Annie felt now, like the mother bear ready to tear into any attorney who would put her son through the rigors of demeaning questions, hearing after hearing after hearing. She thought about going to see Josh now, so she could hold him and will away his suffering.

“Mom?”

“I’m sorry.” She leaned against the porch railing. “You shouldn’t have to go through that.” She breathed in slowly.
Positive,
she told herself.
You have to stay positive for him.
She pulled herself up a little straighter. “So tell me about it. Are they any closer to settling?”

“I think so.” Josh was clear-minded and deliberate as he told her about the questions. “The insurance company wants the judge to think I was on the verge of a medical disability anyway, because of my weight.”

“That’s ridiculous. Besides, you’re almost back to your normal size already.” Annie pictured her son on the stand, the insurance company’s attorney embarrassing him, humiliating him. “Is it worth it, son? I mean, what does Mr. Flynn say?”

“He thinks we’ll have the judge’s decision in a few weeks. The insurance company is running out of reasons to delay.” Josh explained how his attorney had done a brilliant job at the end of the deposition, and how Flynn was asking for twice the settlement. He was still talking when Nate stepped out onto the porch and gave her a curious look.

“Josh,” she mouthed.

Her husband nodded and hesitated. He must’ve seen her concern because he came and stood beside her. He kept his voice low. “Is he okay?”

Annie nodded, but tempered that with a worried shrug. “So, I’m almost finished with these hearings. Maybe one more, and Flynn says we’ll be finished.”

The news landed in Annie’s gut like a bucket of rocks. One more deposition was like knowing her son would be exposed to one more beating. “Maybe I’ll go with you next time.”

“That’s okay.” He laughed lightly. “I’ll get through it. Then I can pay you and Dad back, and move on with my life.”

“And you’re feeling better? Now that you’ve been home for a while?”

“Yes.” Josh rarely complained about his pain, and tonight was no exception. “Hey”—his voice grew tender— “I talked to Flynn about helping me find Savannah. Once we have the settlement, you know?”

Annie opened her mouth to shoot down the idea. There were a hundred more important things Josh should take care of once he got his settlement—including his back surgery and figuring out whether he should go to college now or, if not, what line of work he was going to get into since driving a tow truck was no longer an option. Chasing after the child of a woman he’d spent a week with in Las Vegas couldn’t possibly be good for him. Just another dead-end road.

But whether it was the concern in her husband’s eyes or the whisper of God, she felt suddenly compelled to agree with him. “I’m sure Mr. Flynn would be a big help in whatever you need after the settlement comes.”

“Yes.” Josh seemed like he wanted to push the issue, talk more about Savannah, but he exhaled instead and he sounded more tired than he had before. “You still don’t believe she’s mine, do you?”

Of course not
, she wanted to say. “There’s no proof. The woman—she wasn’t reputable, Josh. The photo could’ve been of someone else’s child for all you know.”

Another slow sigh filtered across the lines. “I understand that. But when I look at her eyes I see my own. I have to find out the truth. At least pray for me about that.”

“I will.” She was grateful to have something they could agree on. She nodded at her husband. “Your father and I will both pray that when the time is right, you’ll find your answers, okay?”

“Good enough.” He must’ve been at his computer because she could hear the rapid click of his fingers on a keyboard. “Listen, I’m online but I’m going to turn in early. I’ll see you tomorrow at Ben’s game.”

“All right.” Annie couldn’t explain it but she was almost desperate to keep the conversation going, to reassure Josh that she cared about him more than he could ever know.

Nate tapped Annie’s hand. “Tell him I love him,” he mouthed.

“Your father loves you. And I love you. You’ll get through this.”

“I know. I love you both.”

She could hear the smile in his voice and it made her feel better. “Good night.”

“ ’Night.”

Annie clicked the off button and set the receiver on the porch railing. What was the ache in her heart, the longing to drive across town and hold her son the way she’d done when he was a little boy? She went to Nate, leaned into him, and listened to the steady thud of his heartbeat. “I just want the whole court thing to be over.”

“Long day?” Nate led her to the glider and they sat down together.

“I guess the deposition was very difficult. Intense questions from the insurance company’s attorney. More harassment.” She lifted her eyes to his. “I’d like to drive down to that man’s office and tell him a thing or two.”

“It won’t be long now, right? A few more weeks?”

“I hope so. After three years it’s hard to believe the case will ever be settled.”

“It will.” He kissed the top of her head and set the swing into a soft, subtle motion. “Josh will land on his feet and he’ll find his way. I believe in him.”

“I do, too.” Her answer was quick, and she remembered her thoughts from last week, how she could do nothing but admit her disappointment where their son was concerned. She leaned her head on Nate’s shoulder. “It was so much easier when he was little, when his bike was stolen from school or he didn’t get a part in the middle school musical. I could hug him and pray with him and make him a plate of cookies.” She blinked back the beginning of tears. “The world would always look brighter in the morning.”