This Just In... (Harlequin Superromance) (19 page)

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

S
ABRINA
STARED
AT
the walls of the dank basement suite she’d managed to rent on a day’s notice, agreeing to the lease before she even left Wheaton. Actually, calling the place a suite or an apartment was an insult to apartments and suites everywhere. It was more like a cave.

The space was mainly below ground level, so the only windows she had were small and placed high on the wall. She couldn’t even see out of them without tilting her neck up and then the only thing she was likely to spot was the feet of the residents who lived on the level above her. And she’d heard plenty from them already. Stomping around, morning, noon and night.

She reminded herself for the millionth time that her residence in The Cave was only temporary. She didn’t have to live here the rest of her life and if she missed the large windows and cheerful colors of her apartment in Wheaton, all she had to do was recall how it had looked before her redecoration project. She could do the same here.

Okay, maybe not here in The Cave, but here in Vancouver.

Sabrina rubbed her forehead and chalked up the ache to the strain of moving and her noisy neighbors. She’d only moved in four days ago and she was already intimately acquainted with their walking patterns. Even so, she was sure she’d made the right decision to return. She had her job back, she’d already heard from some of her old friends and had plans to meet them for Sunday brunch tomorrow morning.

She had begged off hitting the clubs tonight, claiming exhaustion and lack of clothing options since most of her belongings were still in boxes. She probably should have gone, returned to the swing of city life to remind herself why she’d chosen Vancouver. Put on a pair of cute heels, styled her hair, put on some makeup and hit the dance floor. Only she didn’t feel like caking on a pound of eyeliner and mascara. Her hair was just fine down with no hairspray or styling products. And the only shoes she wanted to wear were her red cowboy boots.

Sabrina eyed the water stain on the wall. A hot air balloon? Sunflower? No, mushroom cloud. Like the one that had tried to detonate her life in January. She exhaled, the only sound in The Cave since her upstairs neighbors were currently silent. Luckily, she’d avoided the destruction and her life was now firmly back on track. She refused to allow it to be derailed again.

Even if that meant writing a suck-up piece on Big Daddy and his dilettante son.

The article would run in next week’s paper. She should probably write it tonight, but that made her think about how sad it was to be working on a Saturday night. And what had happened the last time she’d done so, when Noah had shown up and kissed her on the couch. No hope of that happening now.

Sabrina moved her hand to her stomach, rubbing the ache that resided there. She should probably eat something, whip up a masterpiece or just something edible on the scratched stove and cracked countertop.

She didn’t move from her reclined position on the couch.

It hurt that Noah claimed she’d used him, written that article with the explicit goal of leaving. That had never been the plan. Never.

Part of her wished she could go back and not write the article, not move in across from him, not flirt with him or kiss him or love him. But even as she wished for the hurt to ease, she couldn’t regret the memories they’d created and the feelings they’d shared. Those had meant something. Even if they were only temporary. She just wanted the whole thing to be easier. But then if it were easier it wouldn’t have meant as much. A nice little quandary.

Sabrina stared harder at the water spot on the wall. She was just being a conscientious renter. It was important to keep an eye on the spot, to note any new darkness so she could alert the landlord. Because, you know, he clearly took such good care of the place.

And it meant she didn’t have to think about how Noah hadn’t said goodbye, hadn’t answered her knock on his door and hadn’t contacted her about the letter she’d left. According to Marissa, he’d refused to read it. She didn’t understand why he acted like she wanted things to end this way. She hadn’t. But what were their options? She was a city girl, he was a country boy. She had to come back to Vancouver for her job and he couldn’t leave Wheaton.

She’d tried to be angry, to work up a self-righteous fury at his complete shutdown. He’d known she planned to come back to Vancouver. He’d encouraged her to get her job back. And then when everything worked out just as expected, he got mad?

But no matter how tight her grip, Sabrina couldn’t hang on to that desire to fight, to rage against him. She tucked her hands around herself and curled onto her side. Maybe if she warmed herself the ache would go away. Maybe if she had a nap. But lately sleep was as elusive as her appetite. She closed her eyes anyway.

Minutes later, the sound of stomping feet overhead roused her from her attempted rest. The Stompson Twins were up and alert and pounding around. Sabrina shot a glare at the ceiling and followed the sound with the bird though they couldn’t see her. Her attempt to send the message psychically fell on deaf ears, too, as a second pair of feet joined the first and then the thump of bass from the stereo.

Sabrina closed her eyes and swore. Great. So much for a peaceful night of moping. She was not willing to lie around if it meant she had to listen to people storming around all night.

She dragged herself off the couch and into the bathroom. Her hair was knotted on one side. She ran a brush through it, slicking it back into a ponytail, then slipped on a light coat since the nights were getting cold, put on her red boots and headed out.

She bumped into a couple carrying a bottle of wine coming in. They had thick-framed hipster glasses, tight jeans, plaid shirts and an air of good cheer that annoyed her. She clomped down the front steps of the building in her boots. She could hear laughter coming from her neighbor’s place, and see shadows of people moving around. Obviously they were having a party.

If this had been a few months earlier, Sabrina would already know the neighbors. She’d have invited them over for nibbles and a drink; they’d be on a first-name basis by now and she’d have been invited to the party.

She tucked her chin into her chest and headed down the sidewalk. She didn’t have the energy. She wasn’t staying in The Cave for longer than necessary, so what was the point? She’d make friends with them and then they’d be upset when she left. She didn’t want to do that anymore.

Sabrina walked around the neighborhood until her legs were tired and she thought maybe she’d be able to sleep even through the noise of the party upstairs. When she returned she brushed off the greeting of a group on the front steps, acknowledging them with a short nod, and slipped into the overwhelming grayness of The Cave. But her plan to lie on the bed and wrap herself in a cocoon of blankness eluded her.

The fresh air had put her brain on alert and though her body wanted to shut down, her mind refused, bouncing from thought to thought until Sabrina wanted to scream. She hadn’t hooked up her TV, and she didn’t feel like streaming anything on her laptop. She didn’t have the energy to start the article on Big Daddy and son. She didn’t want to read, didn’t want to listen to music, didn’t want to go back out, didn’t want to stay in.

She picked up her phone, opened her contact list and scrolled through, then put her phone back down. She shouldn’t call Marissa tonight. But Sabrina picked the phone back up and scrolled through again. This time her thumb hit the call button. Once it rang, it was too late to hang up.

“Oh, no,” Marissa said in lieu of hello, “you are not calling me at ten o’clock at night.”

“I am.” Some of Marissa’s attitude seeped through the phone line and into Sabrina’s bones. She felt a little better, a little stronger, a little more herself. Marissa’s support of her decision to return to Vancouver had been a balm to her soul. If Marissa wasn’t hanging on to her grudge and accusing her of being a bad person for leaving, then maybe she wasn’t. “And don’t you dare hang up.”

A part of her expected Marissa to hang up anyway, just because she’d told her not to. Marissa could be contrary that way, but she only sniffed loudly. “This better be good. The kids are in bed and so am I.”

“Would I call if it wasn’t good?”

“Yes.”

Sabrina grinned. True, Marissa hadn’t been thrilled that Sabrina was going and had vocally and without reservation stated her opinion that Sabrina should consider staying in Wheaton. But when Sabrina made it clear that her mind was made up, Marissa had acknowledged the legitimacy of her choice. It proved to be a big step forward in their relationship and one Sabrina hadn’t known she’d needed until it was there. “So how are things?”

Marissa snorted. “We talked earlier today and I told you all about how things were.” She paused. “Since I know you couldn’t have forgotten, I can only assume that you’re asking about other things. A certain town mayor?”

Sabrina let her eyes close. She’d done her best not to bring Noah’s name into her now daily conversations with Marissa because she didn’t want Marissa to feel obligated to act as a go-between and she didn’t want to hear that Marissa thought she should come back and see for herself. Marissa stated that often enough without Sabrina giving her an opening. But the truth was she did want to know, to have the guilt weighing her down assuaged. No matter what had happened between them, she wanted to know that he was okay. “How is he?”

Sabrina did her best to achieve a neutral tone. She knew she’d failed by Marissa’s sad sigh. “He’s okay.” Marissa blew out a breath of air. “No, that’s not true. He’s not okay. I think you broke him.”

“Don’t say that.” As if she didn’t feel awful enough? Now she had Marissa adding to it. Sabrina twirled her fingers through her hair, but the soft slip of silky strands did nothing to ease her guilt. “I wasn’t important enough to break him.” Not even enough to rate a goodbye. “He’ll be fine.”

“You were important to him.” Marissa’s quiet voice said more than if she’d shouted the words. “But you’re right. One day he’ll meet a nice woman who will recognize what a catch he is and she’ll stay.”

Displeasure jolted through Sabrina. She didn’t like the idea of another woman moving in on her man. Then had to remind herself that Noah wasn’t hers. She’d given up that claim when she’d moved away. But the irritated buzzing remained under her skin. “Well, I hope he’ll be very happy with her. Whoever she is.”

Marissa laughed. “No, you don’t. Which should tell you something.” It did, just nothing that Sabrina was ready to consider. “Anyway, why are you calling me on a Saturday night? Shouldn’t you be out living your fabulous life with the wannabes?”

“They’re not all wannabes.” Some of the tension slipped from Sabrina’s shoulders. This was safer ground. One that wouldn’t require her to dig through the morass of emotions that she preferred to stuff down. “Also, I’m not feeling particularly fabulous at the moment.”

Not even the red boots had done the trick. They were the one tangible thing she’d taken with her from Wheaton and she’d taken to wearing them constantly. She kicked her feet out and admired them now, even though the sight always sent a pinch through her stomach. Noah had loved the boots. Almost as much as she did. Of course, neither of them loved the boots as much as Daisy, who, after wailing over the news that Sabrina was leaving, had begged her to leave the boots. Sabrina had actually considered it, but Marissa had told her daughter to forget it because Aunt Sabrina needed them.

Sabrina wasn’t sure which had pleased her more, that Marissa saw she needed that tie to the town or that she’d called Sabrina the kids’ aunt.

The one thing that had given her true happiness since her return was wandering down Fourth Avenue and seeing a pair of kid-size cowboy boots in red. She’d walked in, plucked them out of the window and shipped them off the same day. Some things were necessities in life—like a great pair of boots.

“If you’re so unhappy, come home,” Marissa said. “We miss you.”

“You miss me,” Sabrina corrected. “Singular.” But she held her breath just in case Marissa said that Noah missed her, too. Sabrina didn’t know what she would do with that information, but she wanted to hear it anyway.

“We,”
Marissa insisted. “Kyle and Ellen and the kids.” There was no mention of Noah and Sabrina felt her initial hope deflate. “And by the way, can you see if you can find another pair of red boots for Scotty? I’ll pay.” She sighed. “He keeps taking them from Daisy’s room and wearing them around until she realizes what’s happened and loses it. I’ve had to start keeping them in our room on the closet shelf so that no one gets the boots unless I say so.”

Sabrina could picture the scene in perfect detail. Scotty’s happy smile as he wandered around, thumb in mouth. Daisy busy chattering away about something and only noticing that Scotty was wearing the boots after he’d been in the room for ten minutes and then flying into a fit about it.

“I tell you, it’s been quite a trial.”

Sabrina laughed. “Yes, because you so desperately hate to be in charge.”

“It’s true. I do.” Then they both laughed. “I mean it, though, Sabrina. Come home.”

“I am home,” Sabrina said.

“Are you? Really? Because you’re not acting like it.”

Sabrina’s knee jittered. She watched the rhythmic bounce of her boots. Up, down, up down. “I’m just getting back into the swing of things,” she told Marissa. “It takes time.”

It wasn’t unreasonable to take some time to get back in her zone. She needed to find an apartment she loved where she wouldn’t feel that unpacking was a waste of time. She needed to resettle into her job. Her stomach jumped at the thought of returning to the office on Monday after eight months away. She needed to adapt to the lifestyle of her city friends where eleven at night meant it was time to go out, not settle in for the evening.

“
It didn’t take you any time here,” Marissa pointed out.

“That was different.” Sabrina ignored the niggling feeling that Marissa was right. She could easily have taken some steps to settle in already.