This Dark Endeavour (with Bonus Material) (17 page)

“Mountaineering gear!” exclaimed Henry.

“There may be steep drops,” said Konrad wisely.

“Chalk to mark our route so we can return,” I added.

“Very sensible,” said Elizabeth. “Or a ball of string like Theseus in the Minotaur’s maze?”

“String snaps,” I said.

“Chalk can be wiped away,” countered Konrad.

“You’re assuming there’s someone down there,” I said, “who wishes us harm.”

“Victor, don’t joke,” said Elizabeth. “You’ve made me shiver.”

“And me,” said Henry.

“I’m not joking,” I said. “We’ll also need our fishing rods and tackle. And weapons.”

“Weapons?” said Konrad. “To catch a fish?”

“Maybe. But a fish may not be the only thing we encounter in the depths. We were surprised in the Sturmwald, and I won’t be surprised again.”

We shortly bade Konrad good-night. Henry went one way to his bedchamber, and Elizabeth and I went the other. Together we walked silently down the corridor. All day she had virtually ignored me, and I could stand it no longer.

“You haven’t told Konrad about our nighttime tryst,” I whispered.

“That was no tryst,” Elizabeth replied tartly. “That was a deception. And you should be grateful I told him nothing of your shameful behaviour. You conducted yourself like a scoundrel, but even so, I don’t want to harm the brotherly love you have for each other.”

I felt a moment’s pang of remorse, but at least now her eyes were on me—her beautiful hazel eyes. I did not understand it, but her angry face and words made me all the more attracted to her.

“And I hope that you say nothing of it either,” she added.

“Of course not,” I said. With a thrill of excitement I realized we had a secret. “Perhaps you didn’t tell him because you enjoyed our kiss,” I said daringly.

Her eyes narrowed. “You took what was not yours, Victor.”

She turned away, but I caught her by the hand. “I’m sorry,” I said. “It’s just—I could not help myself.”

She paused, her back still to me.

“I don’t understand myself anymore,” I said haltingly. “This feeling I have for you …”

When she turned around, her face was kind. “Victor,” she said, “you must not fall in love with me. I love Konrad.”

“For how long?” I demanded.

“I don’t know,” she said thoughtfully. “Half a year. Maybe longer.”

“Why Konrad and not me?” I blurted, and instantly felt like a childish fool.

She raised her eyebrows in surprise.

I muttered, “We’re the same, after all.”

She laughed lightly. “You are
not
the same.”

“Last night you couldn’t tell one from the other!”

“Your appearance maybe, in complete darkness. But your natures are very different.”

“How so?” I asked, anxious to know how she saw me.

She sighed. “You are rash and headstrong, and arrogant.”

“Not always,” I said, more humbly now. “Surely not.”

Her voice softened a little. “No. Not always. But there is a passion in you that scares me.”

“I thought women craved passion,” I said. “I read it in a novel, I think.”

She moved closer and took both my hands. “Victor, you will always have my fondest love—”

“As a
brother.
Yes, I know,” I said scathingly. “I’m not interested in that sort of love.”

“Well, I am,” she said. “And you should be too. It is a precious thing.”

I snorted. “Please don’t insult me.”

She shook her head, looking genuinely pained.

I stormed on. “If I can’t have all your love, I want none of it.”

“I cannot control your will, Victor,” she said, and I saw a flare of her own wildcat fury. “Only you can do that. And I wonder sometimes if you have the discipline to do so.”

“Wait, don’t leave,” I said.

But this time she did not stop, and left me alone in the corridor, the portraits of my ancestors looking down on me severely; all but one.

“What are you smiling at, Happy Hans Frankenstein,” I muttered, and slouched toward my bedchamber.

Measuring thus much, and no more. Grinding the ingredients to a fine powder. Finding the hottest part of the flame. Watching the powder liquefy and change colour. Watching matter transmute.

The noxious odours sharpened my concentration, and minutes and hours dissolved, so intent was I in my work. Never had I achieved this kind of focus with my schoolwork.

It was also a welcome escape. Down here in my dungeon laboratory beneath the boathouse, I could purge Elizabeth from
my thoughts. I’d spent a great deal of the past two days here, following Eisenstein’s instructions to create the flameless fire. With success so close at hand, I already felt a thrill of accomplishment.

I did not hear the footsteps until they were almost at my door. In dismay I whirled. There was nothing I could do to conceal my work. Mixing vessels and bubbling flasks and all kinds of other apparatus covered the table. And I myself, in my shirt with its sleeves rolled back, my brow sooty—I must have looked half mad.

Konrad walked into view, holding his hand over his nose.

“What on earth is that diabolical smell?”

I exhaled. “Thank goodness. I thought it was Father.”

“You’re lucky he and Mother are still out.”

“Can you smell it in the house?” I asked in alarm.

“No. I only caught a whiff of it from the dock.” He came closer. “So this is where you’ve been disappearing the last few days. What are you up to?”

“Something to help us when we explore the caves.”

I had wanted to surprise everyone, and now that my relief was spent, I felt a twin stab of irritation and disappointment.

“Is this all … urine?” Konrad asked, gazing at several buckets on the floor.

“Yes.”

“I see. Yours?”

“Well, not all of it, obviously,” I replied. “Most of it comes from the horses.”

“Awfully considerate of them to give it to you.”

He looked at me and smiled. I smiled back. Then he began to laugh, and I could not stop myself from following his lead. It was heedless, uncontrollable laughter, and even as I enjoyed
it, it reminded me how little laughter Konrad and I had shared in the past month. But this—this was
fun
as we used to have it.

I went to him and hugged him tight. “Do you think me mad?”

He wiped his eyes. “Not yet. Tell me what you’re doing.”

“Well,” I said, “first it was necessary to boil the urine to a paste.”

“Of course.” He put his hands behind his back and surveyed my table like a pompous tutor.

It was difficult not to start laughing again.

“And after that I needed to transmute the paste into gaseous form—”

“Gaseous form! Excellent!” he said. “I like what you’ve done with these little glass curlicues, by the way.”

“They allow me to pass the gas through water to create—well, I don’t want to tell you yet. But you’ll be amazed.”

“No doubt. Where did you learn all this?”

“Eisenstein,” I said, pointing to the green book on the table.

“That is from the Dark Library too, is it?”

I nodded.

“Let’s just hope Father isn’t checking the shelves. How can you bear the smell?”

“I’d stopped noticing.”

“Come on. You need some fresh air, little brother. Henry and I want to go for a row on the lake. Your company is requested.”

Looking at him smiling upon me, my guilt was sharp. I had stolen his kiss from Elizabeth. I had harboured jealous and stingy thoughts. I was indeed a scoundrel.

“Soon,” I promised. “I’m nearly finished. Ready the boat, and I’ll join you in half an hour.”

“But is he strong enough yet?” Mother asked worriedly the next day at lunch.

We had just told our parents of our plan to go riding in the foothills.

Father looked at Konrad, who was eating his sausage and potato rosti with great enthusiasm. “Look at him, Caroline. He blooms with health. I see no reason why they shouldn’t have their outing tomorrow.”

Konrad truly did look well. He’d regained almost all of his lost weight, and his face was no longer gaunt.

“It won’t be arduous,” I said, pouring myself some more cider. “We only mean to do some fishing, wander in the hills, and have a leisurely picnic.”

“And it will be Henry’s last day with us,” Konrad reminded them, for Mr. Clerval had returned from his journey. “Our goodbye celebration.”

“And if Konrad becomes too tired,” said Elizabeth, “he can recline on a blanket like a sultan and we will feed him grapes and fan him.”

Mother sighed. “Very well, as long as you promise to return before sunset. Henry, you are the most level-headed of these three. I charge you with everyone’s safe return.”

“I give you my word, Madame Frankenstein,” said Henry.

“Thank you, Mother,” said Konrad. “And now, to prove my fitness, I will trounce Victor in fencing.”

“Do not count on it,” I said.

“A hit!” said Konrad.

“Your point,” I panted as we retreated to our starting positions. It was not a formal fencing match this time, just the two of us in the armoury. Konrad had wanted a single bout—his first since his illness—to see what kind of shape he was in. And damn him, he was in the lead! Three hits to my two.

“En garde!”
I said, readying my foil.

“Allez!”
said Konrad, and we circled each other.

It was my attack, and I watched him like a falcon, knowing I needed three more hits if I were to win.

“You are very good, Victor,” Konrad said.

“Without my usual partner I’m out of practice,” I replied.

I remembered our last match. My victory against him had really been a lie, since he’d been sick.

“There’s something I must tell you,” Konrad said. “It’s given me a guilty conscience, keeping it from you so long. You and I shouldn’t keep secrets.”

“What’s your secret?” I was glad my face was concealed.

“I am in love with Elizabeth.”

“You are?” I let my foil drop, as though surprised, and then lunged. He parried weakly, and left himself wide open for my riposte. I struck him in the belly.

“Nicely done,” he said, retreating.

Now we were tied.

“Did you know?” he asked as we stepped back and prepared to resume the bout.

“I had an inkling,” I said guardedly. “And does she return your feelings?”

“Entirely.”

His single word delivered a sharper stab than any foil.

“But how …
when
did this happen?” I still couldn’t understand how I could have been so ignorant of this.

“Sundays, when I take her to Mass.”

I nodded. Over the years, that would have given them ample time alone.

Hurt barbed my next comment. “But it’s strange, don’t you think? She’s grown up with us as a sister …”

“But she is not our sister, just a distant cousin.”

“True, but doesn’t it seem just a touch … unsavoury to you?”

We watched each other warily, foils at the ready.

“Not in the least,” he said.
“En garde
.”

“I wonder how Mother and Father will feel about it,” I mused.

“Oh, I think Mother knows perfectly well how Elizabeth and I feel about one another.”

“You’ve told
her
—and not me!” I exclaimed, genuinely hurt.

He lunged, and I quickly parried.

“She could tell,” Konrad said. “I didn’t need to confide in her. And she was very happy about it. She said it had long been her wish, and Father’s, that Elizabeth would one day be a bride to one of us, and be forever part of our family.”

“You mean to marry at sixteen?” I exclaimed.

“When we’re older, of course.”

“From what I’ve heard,” I said, “youthful passions are often fleeting. You may both feel differently in a few years.”

“Listen to you—he who has
never
been in love!”

“How do you know?” I said coldly.

Our blades clashed, and before Konrad could retreat, I had struck his jacket.

“A hit,” I said.

“You are filled with fire,” he said. “Well done.”

We backed away from each other once more, puffing.

“So,
have
you been in love?” Konrad wanted to know. “With whom? Out with it!”

“That’s my business.”

“We don’t keep secrets, you and I.”

“You’ve kept yours,” I said. “And for quite some time.”

“Well, a few months perhaps, no more.”

That was not what Elizabeth had told me, but I said nothing. I was not quite that reckless, not yet.

“One of us,” I murmured.

“What?”

“You said it was Mother’s wish that Elizabeth marry
one
of us. Wasn’t that right?”

“Yes. Why?”

“So she wasn’t picky about which one?”

Konrad dropped his guard for a moment, but was quick enough to parry when I lunged.

“What if,” I panted, “you and I were to love the same person? What if I loved Elizabeth too?”

We circled warily.

“But you don’t.”

“Pretend I do.”

He shrugged. “It would be a disappointment to you. Because she loves me.”

In my temper I lunged clumsily. He knocked my blade to the side and hit me.

“A point,” he said. “We are tied.
En garde.
”

“Allez!”
I said. “Are you so sure she could love only you? That you’re so much better than me?”

“Victor, I didn’t say that.”

“But you
think
it.”

“Why are you so angry?”

“Because people will always love you best,” I said. “You are … a more
charming
person. No doubt kinder too.”

He laughed. “I’ve never thought so.” Backward and forward we tested each other.

“You do not really love Elizabeth, do you?” he said.

“No,” I lied.

Konrad lunged and scored his winning hit, right on my heart.

He sighed, lifting his mask. “That is a relief. A fine bout. But I am still out of shape. We must do this more often.”

My brother had kept a secret from me, and now I would keep one from him.

I will have Elizabeth as my own.

“S
omeone should stay behind with the horses,” said Konrad.

Despite Temerlin’s careful map, it had taken us a good half hour to find the entrance to the cave in the foothills. It was a man-size cleft in a rocky outcropping, partly hidden behind shrubs. The four of us dismounted and started to unload the gear from our saddlebags.