Third Time Lucky (3 page)

There she goes again, half child, half wise woman, an over-exaggerated look of innocence on her pretty elfin face. My head starts to throb; the Advil I took in the night wore off some time ago.

‘Right
now I just want Alexander to wake up and get better.’ I stand up, desperate to do something, anything. ‘Shall we go and get a cup of coffee? I don’t know about you, but this place is giving me the creeps.’

Opposite me, Emma fiddles with a sugar packet, and I notice a pile of others, empty and twisted into shapes. I’ve no idea what’s happened to the contents. The scent of cold coffee fills my nose. I glance at my watch. It’s been almost three hours since he was taken into theatre.

‘Do you think we should go to the nurse’s station and try and find out what’s going on?’ Emma asks.

I want to but I’m almost too afraid to find out, though I daren’t admit it. For Emma’s sake, I try to sound positive. ‘It’s been a while so, yes, come on then.’

We’re barely out of the cafe when Sister Dixon walks towards us, her expression brisk and businesslike.

‘How is he?’ Emma cries.

‘Good news. They think they’ve stopped the bleed, so fingers crossed for now.’ Emma lets out a little groan of relief while I seem to be unable to walk for a moment. ‘He’s already asked for you both. You should be able to see him shortly.’

Emma exhales loudly. ‘Thank fuck. Oh, sorry!’

Sister Dixon smiles. ‘Please don’t worry. I’ve heard a lot worse. I have to warn you that he’s still a little groggy because of the meds, but I think it will help him if he sees you. Please don’t stay too long, though, because he’s very tired, and don’t expect too much of him. He’s
a little disorientated and you may find him … not quite himself.’

‘Oh, if you mean he’s being a royal pain in the arse, that’s normal,’ Emma says breezily. Life is simple for her now; all that matters is that her brother seems to be out of danger.

My main feeling is massive relief but it’s tinged with apprehension. After all, our last words were bitter and harsh, and I’ve no idea what his reaction will be when he sees me.

It’s a little while before we are allowed into Alexander’s room. He’s propped further up the pillows, one hand resting on the bedclothes, the other arm heavily strapped. Even though I’d prepared myself for the sight of his bruised and swollen face, I still wince inwardly, but for Emma’s sake, I put on a brave face.

The nurse makes a quick adjustment to one of the machines and then leaves with a mouthed ‘Ten minutes, max’ to me. We tread softly, talking in whispers, because his eyes are closed and he seems to be asleep. Then, as we stand by the side of his bed, I see him trying to open his eyes, trying to focus on us.

Emma reaches out a hand and strokes the bruised, swollen skin on his face tenderly. It seems to help him open his eyes and now he really does seem to be looking at us both. For a few seconds, I don’t think Alexander is certain who we are but then he croaks: ‘What kept you?’

Any flippant reply sticks in my throat at the sheer relief of hearing him speak again. Damn it, I hadn’t expected to feel this full of relief and anger and I don’t know what. I can’t help but smile.

‘What the hell have you done to yourself, Alex?’ Emma demands, like he just fell out of a tree or something.

I can barely make out his low reply, squeezed out through swollen lips, but I think it’s: ‘You should see the other guys.’

Emma sits down on a chair next to the bed and his fingers tighten around her hand. I stand behind her, unsure of my role, of what to say.

‘Thanks for coming,’ he says to me, in a voice that sounds as raw as he looks.

‘I’d like to say it’s a pleasure, but that would be lying,’ I say.

He tries a smile; but I suspect it hurts so he gives a grunt instead. Now I’ve got over the relief of seeing him awake, I feel slightly sick again as I force myself to confront the mess his face is in. But mentally I punch the air, because the old Alexander is definitely there, as combative as ever.

Emma
whispers. ‘I love you.’

Another grunt from Alexander that sounds like: ‘You too.’

‘Alex, please say you’ll never do this again …’

He closes his eyes. ‘Not now, Emma.’

‘Swear that when you get out of here you’ll really think properly think about leaving the army.’

I cringe inwardly but to my surprise he mutters, ‘I’ll think about it.’

‘
Promise
.’

‘Emma, I can’t make decisions like that now.’ He squashes down a groan of pain.

Emma puts her hand over her mouth. ‘Look at the state you’re in. You’ve been shot once, and now you’ve been stabbed and beaten and God knows what else and you still want to go back there. I can’t cope with this.’ She jumps up. ‘I’ll come back and see you later.’

She hurries out, clearly fighting back tears, leaving me alone with Alexander. Now he seems to be out of danger, should I get out of his life again too?

Instead I say: ‘That went well …’

He collapses back on to the pillows, perspiration beading his forehead. ‘Shit, I never say anything right.’

‘It’s a tough time for Emma as well as you. She’ll calm down when she’s had time to get over the shock. You’re all she has left, and it must have been terrifying when Helen called her with the news. None of us really knew exactly how bad things were.’

Those
ice-blue eyes stare at me, weighing me up. Oh yes, Alexander Hunt is most definitely there. ‘I’m glad you came – I wasn’t sure you would. It’s good you were here for Emma.’

‘I like Emma a lot, despite everything that’s happened. And you asked for me.’

‘And that’s the only reason you’re here?’

I shrug. ‘Of course I came. You knew I would.’

He watches me thoughtfully. I wonder if he’s seen a mirror yet. I want to cry at the state of his face, but it gives me hope to see him so feisty.

‘Kiss me,’ he says.

‘What?’ This is the last thing I expected and I shake my head. ‘I’m not sure I should.’

‘Why not?’

‘The nurses will be mad at me …’ And, I remind myself, we are not supposed to be together any more.

‘Shut up and kiss me.’ His voice is stronger now, still croaky but more insistent. He lifts up his good arm and waves it vaguely in the direction of his mouth, the line in the back of his hand trailing.

‘I’m not sure you deserve it, or that you’re well enough for it.’

‘I’m sure I don’t but you’re going to do it anyway. Aren’t you?’

His eyes flash with impatience and every misgiving rushes back, yet somehow I can’t stop myself doing as
he asks, lowering my lips to his bruised ones, afraid to make contact with his swollen skin. This close, I can feel the warmth of his breath on my face, and the sheer proximity of his lean, hard, battered body close to mine makes me shiver.

Closing my eyes, I touch my lips to his with the lightest of pressure. I’m waiting for him to wince or cry, but his response is firmer than I expected and the kiss goes on. The world retreats, the insistent beep of the heart monitor melts into nothing and there is only him and me again. We could be back on the dance floor at a ball, or in the cloister at Wyckham …

Finally, I break contact, open my eyes and find him looking at me intensely.

‘Lauren, I meant the things in the letter.’ His voice rasps and I know it’s hurting him to speak. I also know I’m not ready to face up to the implication of his words yet; the shock of the past day and night – of the past few weeks – still hasn’t sunk in.

‘Shhh. The nurse said you ought not to get too tired, so stop babbling on and for once in your life rest when you’re told to, Captain Hunt.’

‘I only follow orders I believe in.’

‘Was that how you ended up like this, then?’

‘Bollocks. Listen to me.’ He grasps my fingers, his grip as strong as ever, and his eyes burn with a stubborn fire. ‘When I’m out of here, I’ll make good on my promises.’

‘That’s the drugs talking,’ I answer lightly.

His
voice is urgent now. ‘I mean what I said; I’m not going to waste any more time.’

‘If you remember, you were happy to see the back of me.’

‘That was before!’ he says, exasperated.

‘What’s happened to you doesn’t change things between us.’

‘Then for fuck’s sake, Lauren, why are you here?’ He tries to reach for me and his face contorts in a grimace. ‘This bloody arm.’

‘Alexander, be
careful
.’ I stop him from toppling sideways out of bed. My face is inches from his bloodied one. I bite down a wince of sympathy and the urge to kiss him against my better judgement.

‘Things are going to be different,’ he whispers. ‘Just give me a chance.’ He tries to sit up again and hisses through his teeth. I spot the anxious and disapproving face of the nurse at the window but Alexander grips my hand again.

‘For God’s sake, lie down and keep still for a while. Look, the nurse has seen us now! Do you want to get me thrown out?’

‘I thought you wanted an excuse to leave,’ he taunts.

‘I’d rather it was my own decision, rather than being escorted from the building.’

‘I don’t care. Christ, you make me so mad, but I want you in my bed. That’s what’s going to make me better. I want to be inside you right now.’

The
nurse is distracted by the ward sister and despite every misgiving, and the fact he’s a seriously injured man lying in a hospital bed, I can’t deny the effect his words are having on me, let alone that look in his eye, which I can never resist. What kind of person does that make me? Giving into my feelings and desires, and going back to his bed, would only be a temporary cure and the real issues between us would soon surface again, like his secretive, volatile nature, the lack of trust between us, and the fact that in a few months we both have to make major decisions about our futures which will probably put us thousands of miles apart. I plan on getting a job in a gallery or museum after my master’s, while Alexander will have to rejoin his unit and could be posted anywhere.
If
he fully recovers, that is.

The door opens and the nurse bustles in. She marches over and throws me a brisk smile.

‘Time’s up, I’m afraid. We don’t want Captain Hunt getting worn out, do we?’

‘No, not yet,’ I say with a meaningful glance at Alexander, now lying quietly in his bed, the picture of the model patient. He returns my gaze with a fleeting tilt of his mouth that may be resignation or a challenge and before I can say another word I’m being firmly but politely ushered from the room.

Outside, there are thuds and rattles up the corridor, where Emma is abusing a vending machine. ‘Crappy thing!’ she mutters, banging the side.

‘Sorry,’
I say to the nurse, who shrugs.

‘Don’t worry; it’s a very stressful time for you. Captain Hunt is probably going to sleep for the rest of the day and there’s not much point in you staying. If you don’t mind me saying, you and Emma both look exhausted. I suggest you go home and get some rest. I promise we’ll call if there’s any news but by the look of him, you can relax a little.’

Hearing this makes my shoulders actually slump in relief. ‘I hope so, and you’re probably right about us being tired, but I’ll have to fix up where we’re going to stay while Alexander recovers, and speak to Emma’s school.’

‘If there’s anything we can do to help, just ask.’

‘Thanks, but I’m sure we’ll be fine. Can we come back this evening?’

‘I think you should wait until tomorrow. The more rest he can get the better, if you can keep away that long.’

‘I’ll see what Emma says.’

As the nurse returns to her duties, I hurry to the vending machine to save Emma from a criminal damage charge.

I push the refund button three times in rapid succession and her change clatters into the slot.

‘Bugger. Why didn’t it work for me?’ she mutters.

‘Because you gave it a slap?’ Her pout is full-on but I shake my head and reclaim the coins. ‘It’s the same
machine as the one at the university tennis centre. It’s got the same quirks.’

I feed the money back into the slot and a can of Coke rolls into the tray with a thud.

Emma collects it, a sheepish look creeping over her face. ‘Thanks … Um, I’m sorry for rushing out like that but he is so stubborn, he drives me mad.’

‘It’s OK. I know what you mean but I should relax for now because I think he’ll be on sick leave for quite a while. Even then, he might not be fit enough to return to duty, especially combat duty, for ages. At least you know he’s going to be kept out of trouble for a long time. Be happy with that for now?’

She appears to mull this over briefly, then says, ‘I suppose so.’

Emma pulls the ring from the can and the Coke hisses and fizzles.

I distract her by telling her we need to find somewhere to stay, and won’t be coming back to see Alexander until the morning.

She sighs. ‘OK, if that’s really what the nurses think is best. But where will we go? It’s too far to trawl back and forth from Falconbury or the house in Oxford.’

‘I’ve been thinking about that. Maybe we should book a hotel near the hospital … Or perhaps Immy would let us stay in her apartment for a day or two, but after that don’t you think you might be better off going back to school?’

‘We
break up for Easter today. It was the end-of-term sixth form party last night and Brandon was going to call for me later today anyway. I hope Alex is well enough to come home soon because I don’t want to be on my own at Falconbury with just Robert and Helen. He won’t want me to stay with Allegra after the last time, that’s for sure.’

‘You can understand that.’

‘I still think he overreacted. The thing is, even if Alex did let me stay at Allegra’s, her mother probably wouldn’t have me. She hit the roof when she found out Allegra had told Alex I’d stayed with her while I went to a hotel with Henry.’

‘Fingers crossed they let Alex out, and you could have a friend to stay. He won’t mind that, will he?’ I say, hoping Alexander will have far too much on his mind when he gets home to worry about any visiting friend of Emma’s being a bad influence.

‘I suppose so.’ Suddenly Emma’s face brightens. ‘And you’ll be at home with us anyway, so he’s bound to be a good mood.’

This statement floors me temporarily. ‘I … um … I’m not sure if that will happen, Em. Things weren’t that great between us the last time we were together.’

‘That was before he was hurt. He called you first, didn’t he, so he must want you to get back with him. And you came, so that must mean you feel the same.’

‘Emma, it’s not quite as simple as that …’

‘Bollocks.
And you know it.’

I almost laugh out loud at Emma’s breezy confidence. ‘Emma, I have no idea what’s going to happen. I’m here now and we’ll just have to see. I am supposed to be heading home to Washington.’

Emma looks horrified. ‘You can’t just walk away from us.’

‘I said “supposed to”, Emma, I don’t
want
to walk away. If you and Alex need me, then I might see if I can stay a bit longer, but it’s not going to be that simple.’

She watches me over the rim of the can, poker faced, while she waits for me to make the next move.

‘Hey, we’re getting way ahead of ourselves here. First, Alexander needs to get better, and second, we need a place to stay for a couple of days. I’ll give Immy a call and see what she can do.’

Emma hugs me, all smiles. ‘Great. I knew you’d sort everything out, Lauren.’

Sure I can. I can sort anything out in Emma’s eyes. But even if it gets me into deeper shit than ever, I figure have no choice for the time being. So, after an update on Alexander’s progress – now ‘stable’ and ‘comfortable’ – and a glance through his room window to see that he’s asleep again, and a lot of reassurance from the nurses, Emma and I manage to drag ourselves away and take a cab back to central London.

To my relief, Immy has finally returned my call. She had her phone turned off until she got back to the
apartment after spending the night – what was left of it – with her rower at a hotel near Jocasta’s house.

The first thing I had to deal with was a succession of ‘Oh my Gods’ and shocked gasps while I relayed the story of Alexander’s injuries. However, I also love her to bits because, without me even asking, she offered to let me stay on at the apartment for as long as I want while Alexander recovers.

I felt awkward about asking if Emma could stay too, but Immy didn’t seem to mind; she has known Alexander and his family for a few years – if not that well, then enough to want to give them support. The apartment actually belongs to her parents but she’s assured me that they won’t mind in the least.

The cab crawls into central London. Emma is texting frantically while I wonder when and how to tell my parents I may be in the UK for a while longer. They were happy enough for me to delay my return because I wanted to study, and really, they know they can’t interfere with my decisions any more – but they miss me and, yes, I miss them. If they knew about Alexander, I think they’d put up much more of a fuss though. If I stay in London and then at Falconbury, I’ll have been here for a chunk of the Easter vac and won’t have long at home, but my parents will be so upset if I don’t see them at all.