There Is No Light in Darkness (15 page)

For the most part, I didn’t let the girls’ foolishness upset me. I knew Sasha, the head cheerleader, was behind most of it. She and Cole had a heated relationship in the past. She had a heated relationship with most of the athletes in the school, though. Apparently, Cole was her favorite. The thought made me sick, but I shrugged it off. If this was high school, I could only imagine what things would be like for him in college. Cole got a scholarship to play football at Duke University. Scouts flocked to most of the games during his last two years. He was the protégé everyone was after. He was the hot quarterback with the striking green eyes, killer smile, and effortless charm, who also happened to be book smart.

I realized the opportunities would be endless for him once he got to Duke. Girls would be throwing themselves at him left and right, and there, nobody would know or care about me. Hell, if they knew me here and didn’t care about me, what would it be like there? As much as I trusted him, I couldn’t live with the doubt. I knew it would only take a couple of days of his not calling me back to drive me insane with jealousy. I’d rather get a clean break and nurse a broken heart now than deal with it later.

Becky and Greg were both going to the University of Southern California. Greg got a football scholarship there. Becky had some money saved up, but she planned on paying for most of it with student loans. She was just glad to be getting out of Illinois and following Greg wherever he went. Aubry and I were going to attend the University of Chicago. I knew Aubry was secretly jealous of Becky because California was a good place for advertising, which they were both studying. He refused to let me go to Chicago alone though. Cole begged me to apply to Duke and go with him, but I couldn’t do that to myself. Besides, I loved Chicago and was glad that I was finally moving to the city, and I couldn’t ask Cole to give up his scholarship for me, either.

When we got to the lake, we batted off the usual batches of pesky flies—also known as cheerleaders. Or rather, ex-cheerleaders, since we were out of high school, and they were out of a hobby. I was sure some of them would go on to become great housewives and cheerleading coaches. Not to knock them all—less than a handful of them were nice to me and hadn’t tried to steal my boyfriend. I waved hello to those three and continued my walk to the water. We put out lawn chairs and a cooler. I started to strip off my shorts and shirt when I noticed that Cole had run off somewhere. When I looked up, I saw him talking to Sasha. I felt the blood drain from my body as I watched her run her hand down his chest, and even though he stopped it from reaching the band of his shorts, I was already seeing red.

“Becky, can you please turn around?” I huffed through clenched teeth.

Both Becky and Greg turned their heads to watch Cole and Sasha’s exchange.

“Cowboy, you know he doesn’t like her,” Greg said, trying to pacify my emotions.

“It doesn’t matter, Gregory,” I responded angrily. “Why is he even talking to her? Why is he standing so damn close to her? And why haven’t I ever seen you doing anything like that?”

He took a deep breath, but said nothing. Exactly. Silence. Greg never had that issue because Greg knew when to keep his dick in his pants. I cursed myself a million times for letting myself love Cole. I cursed myself again for cursing myself for letting myself love Cole. He was one of my best friends—despite his past actions—and I knew he would never cheat on me. But still, that hurt.

The longer I watched their exchange, the more furious I got. I decided to walk over to where Steve and his friends were sitting. I knew it wasn’t a good idea, but I was so livid that I couldn’t stop myself. I was wearing the tiniest red and white polka dot bikini that I could possibly fit into, which got Steve’s attention immediately. Cole hadn’t seen it yet; I’d been saving it for that day since it was our last trip to the lake together. Steve’s friends left us alone and we started small talking about college. Steve was going to Northeastern University in Boston. He had plans to become a doctor like his father. At one point, he leaned into me, tucked some loose hair behind my ear, and caressed my earlobe. I shook his hand off, and looked at him, my wide eyes asking him what he was doing.

“We could have been good together, Blake,” he said quietly. “Still could be, you know.”

I took a step back and laughed lightly. “Nah, you’ll be off in medical school before you know it, and you won’t have time for me anyway,” I joked, trying to make the situation less awkward.

He pushed himself off of the tree he was leaning on and stepped closer to me as I took a step back. He stepped forward again, I stepped back. I felt like we were playing a game of cat and mouse. Maybe trying to get back at Cole this way wasn’t such a good idea after all.

“I’ll tell you what,” he said, stopping close enough for me to hear him, but far enough that we didn’t look like we were having an intimate conversation. “I would never fuck around behind your back like he would.”

I gritted my teeth and tried to reign in my temper—to no avail. “He …” I emphasized by pointing my thumb behind me in the direction to where I thought Cole might have still been standing. “Wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. You don’t know him, so stop making assumptions. And you,” I said, taking a step closer and jabbing his chest with my pointer, “are just mad because you couldn’t have me. The only reason you were trying to get with me in the first place was to show him that you could do it.”

A sly smile spread across Steve’s face. “You’re very smart, Blake. I’ll give you that. I wish you well, and I hope you’re right about Cole.”

He saluted me before he turned around and left me fuming. I clenched my hands in a fist and turned around to stomp toward Cole. God, help me if he was still talking to that little skank. I looked around and finally found him. He was no longer speaking to Sasha. He was standing next to Greg with his arms crossed at his chest and a pissed off look on his face—which I returned with a raised eyebrow. I sat down next to Becky and lathered myself up with oil and didn’t look up when I saw him plant his feet next to me. After a couple of seconds of burning holes into the top of my head, he sat down.

“What were you talking to Steve about?” he asked in an even tone.

“What were you talking to Sasha about?” I retorted.

I pictured his jaw muscles working, though I didn’t want to look. I focused my eyes on the blue and green lines on the towel below me until he lifted my chin so that I was forced to look at him. “College.” His eyes were flashing with anger.

I snapped my face out of his hold but held his glare. “Was she teaching you how to shower in college?” I spat irritably. “Maybe I should go ask Steve to give me a demonstration. Hold on, I’ll be right back.”

I stood up with no intention of finding Steve. I just needed a breather because I felt like at any moment I might slap the shit out of Cole. He grabbed my arm firmly and pulled me back down.

“If you do that ...” he said through gritted teeth before he let out a shaky breath.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “If I do that, what?” I asked a little loudly. “You’re going to break up with me?”

His anger was replaced with distress, and he pulled me into a hug. I tried to squirm away, but his arms held me tighter. Suddenly, I felt like crying—and I did. I buried my face in his chest and cried quietly. Nobody could see or hear me, only Cole. When he loosened his hold, I wiped the tears from my face and took a deep breath.

“I would never break up with you, baby,” he said into my hair. “Never.”

I didn’t respond. I was the one that was going to break up with him, and I had a feeling he knew this. The rest of the afternoon we splashed around, ate pizza, and went for ice cream. We acted like teenagers in love, and that’s what we were. That was the last time we were together as kids. In love, without a care in the world. I was happy that day. I was happy that summer. I was with the people I loved, and they were all happy. They were all safe.

A week before we were all leaving for college, Cole took me on a date. He left me a note on my bed, telling me to dress comfortably and to be ready by six. I threw on a green halter maxi dress and a pair of flip flops. Becky fixed my hair so that it curled widely at the bottom and smoothed out the frizz at the top. She gave my eyes a smoky look, making my gray eyes stand out. My eyes had come alive since I’d been in this house; they were no longer stormy and depressing. I put on lip gloss and went downstairs to wait for Cole. He came up with this idea when we started dating. He said that since we lived together I was missing out on the “fun” part of dates, which was him picking me up and knocking on the door to wait for me. He always asked me to be ready at a certain time so that he had enough time to get ready and leave the house, just to come back to pick me up.

The doorbell rang at 6:00, and I squealed in excitement as I got up and ran to it. I beamed at him when I saw the bouquet of sunflowers in his hand. His eyes greedily ran down my body as he handed me the flowers. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me into him, taking my mouth in his and kissing me arduously. The flowers slipped from my hands when I clutched on to his messy hair and pushed myself closer to him. His hands traveled down the thin fabric of my dress, down backside squeezing my butt. He let out a deep moan into my mouth that echoed through my body and made me quiver. When his mouth suddenly left mine, I whimpered in protest. Resting his forehead against mine, we caught our breath before he leaned down, scooping up the flowers and handing them to me again.

“Sorry about that, baby,” he said gruffly. “You look ... You just ... You make me lose my mind.”

I laughed and kissed his lips softly. “Thank you for the flowers. They’re beautiful.”

Once I placed the flowers in a vase, Cole grabbed my hand and led me to his car. We drove for a little while; I wasn’t sure where he was taking me. We drove by restaurants, the movie theater, everything we normally frequented before he pulled into a narrow road and started driving on gravel.

“Where are we going?” I asked hesitantly. “This place seems like the perfect place to become victims of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.”

Cole laughed and squeezed me hand. “Good thing we’re not in Texas,” he said with a wink. He laughed louder at my “I’m not so sure about that” expression.

We pulled up next to a large abandoned house, and I was really starting to freak out. Where in the world are we? Holy crap, we’re going to die here.

“Cole,” I asked in an uneasy voice. “Did you let anyone know where we were going?”

He laughed. “Baby, it’ll be fine. You’re with me.”

“Yeah, but you don’t have a gun or a machete or a chainsaw,” I squeaked.

He chuckled and shook his head before grabbing both sides of my face and giving me a long, lingering kiss that made my head swim.

“I love you, Blake. You’re so damn cute.”

There were so many truths in his green eyes and so much more that scared me. I dubiously let him lead me toward the back of a large abandoned house—and that was when I saw why he brought me.

Behind the house, there was a meadow. There were little purple flowers on both sides of us and acres of unused land. I wondered how he found this place. He didn’t let go of my hand as he walked me to a recently mowed spot surrounded by tall grass. In the middle of the freshly cut grass were four unlit lanterns, one on each corner of a checkered blanket that had a large basket in the middle.

I turned my smiling face to him. “A picnic?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, leaning down to kiss the tip of my nose.

We sat down in the middle of the blanket, and he took out two plates and two cans of pop.

“How’d you hear about this place?” I asked.

His green eyes roamed my face before he let out a breath and answered. “Maggie gave me a letter a week ago. I’ve been wanting to talk to you about it, but I wanted to bring you here first. The letter had information for the bank account that my dad had set up for me. It also had this address on it. It said that I own this land—ten acres to be exact.”

I gaped at him. “What? Did it say why? Is it from your dad?”

He shrugged. “It didn’t give any specifics. The land was put under my name when I was born. Maybe my dad was dying and that’s why he dropped me off? I mean this is a lot of land, and everything looks pretty abandoned. I walked the property yesterday, and there’s an abandoned farmhouse if you keep walking that way. It’s full of mold, and it’s practically falling apart, but I could tell it used to be well kept. I’m guessing this was the main house. Either way, if my dad used to live here, he hasn’t for a very long time.”

“What are you going to do with it?”

“I’m not sure,” he said before taking a bite of one of the sandwiches he put out for us.

“So the bank account? He’s been putting money in it since you were born or since you were dropped off?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Good question. I have to find out. There’s enough money in there for me to live on for years without working, so I guess that’s a good thing. Maggie’s been giving me an allowance for years; she said it was from the money my dad left with her. I just always assumed it would have run out by now.”

I pursed my lips deep in thought. I knew that my bank account was set up by my aunt and that she had nobody else to leave her money to. Cole’s situation was just plain weird though.

“I don’t get it, though. How is money still going into the account? If your dad is dead—and obviously he hasn’t been living here for a long time—who’s been depositing the money?” I asked confused.