Then She Fled Me (20 page)

“
Yes,
_;
but what? You have him every day. Can
’
t you spare an hour or so for me?
”

“Oh, Joe!” she pulled away from him, “I’ve known you all my life. Adrian’s a guest.”

“A very paying one,” Joe said, and grinned.

“Because he pays,” Kathy replied quietly, “is no reason why we should neglect him.”

“I’m sure, darling, that can never be laid to your door,” he said briskly. “Anyway, let’s forget him. Do you like your present?”

“Oh, Joe, it’s lovely,” she said quickly. “You shouldn’t have spent so much. Look! Slieve Rury had a ring of cloud. That means rain.”

“It won’t rain,” he said absently. “It’s getting colder. Kathy, it’s Christmas.”

“I know.”

“
Don
’
t you remember what you promised me in September? At Christmas, you said, you
’
d give me your answer.
”

She was very quiet suddenly, walking at his side, the dark curls hiding her face from him.

“
It
’
s Christmas,
”
he said again.

She looked at him then, brushing the hair from her cheek, and her eyes were large and troubled.

“
Don
’
t, Joe—not today. I
’
m not ready,
”
she said
.

He took her hand, swinging it gently as they walked.

“
Is it always going to be like this?
”
he asked a little sadly.
“
Can I never pin you down, darling? I
’
ve let you alone since that day by the lough. I
’
ve never bothered you. You made me believe that by Christmas you would give me an answer. Christmas you said was a time for promises, and for New Year resolutions.
”

“
New Year,
”
she said eagerly.
“
Give me till then, Joe. If promises are to be made, New Year
’
s Eve is the night.
”

“
And on New Year
’
s Eve it will be Easter, and at Easter it will be Midsummer
’
s Eve. I know you, Kathy.
”

“
No, no,
”
she said, catching her breath.
“
If you can
’
t wait, Joe dear, then I
’
ll tell you on New Year
’
s Eve.
”

He stopped walking, and turned her slowly round to face him, and kissed her gently on the forehead.

“
I
’
m a fool,
”
he said.

Back in the nursery, Adrian stood for a moment surveying the paper chains he and Sarah had put up the day before, remembering the seriousness with which she had decided where they were to go, the way they had laughed when she had fallen off a chair, and the expression on her thin little face when she had appraised her handiwork and said:
“
There! It
’
s exactly as it used to be when Kathy and I were children. Father used to stand under that pink paper bell and give us his own special presents. Every year he would say the same thing.
‘
Och!
’
he would say,
‘
Santa Claus must have dropped these out of his sack.
’
Then he would kiss us and pull Kathy
’
s curls and say:
‘
Every year you grow prettier and more like your mother, my darling.
’
”
Then she had run out of the room before he could see the tears on her lashes.

T
he bu
rn
t
-
out candle, which Kathy had placed in the window the night before, still stood there, mute testimony to the coming of the Christ-child. He smiled and sat down by the glowing turf and opened Sarah
’
s book of songs and ballads.

Kathy and Sarah were lighting the last candles on the tree when he came down before dinner, and he stood for a moment watching them unobserved as they reached up to the higher branches, their faces solemn and intent in the flickering light, their thin frocks fluttering moth-like in the draught, two young girls, a little touching in their innocence, with their pale dresses and their white Irish skins.

“
There,
”
said Sarah,
“
that
’
s the last one. Doesn
’
t it look lovely?
”

“
Very lovely,
”
said Adrian from the doorway and they turned and saw him.

“
Do you like it? I dressed it entirely myself,
”
Kathy said with childish pride.

“
Kathy always does the tree,
”
Sarah said.
“
She
’
s the artistic one of the family.
”

“
You know,
”
said Adrian,
“
there
’
s something quite different about a tree lit with candles. The modern variety with their colored electric lights lose something. I hadn
’
t realized it before.
”

“
Perhaps,
”
said Kathy,
“
it
’
s because a tree is an old
-
fashioned custom, so old-fashioned ways are best.
”

“
Perhaps,
”
he said, and looked round the library. This is a fine room. Why don
’
t you use it more?
”

“
We like the snug,
”
said Sarah briefly, and flipped a branch of the tree, setting all the shining decorations dancing and shimmering in the light.

“D
o you remember how you always wanted the star
when we were little, Sarah?
”
Kathy laughed.

“
Because it was always out of reach,
”
Sarah said absently.
“
You were the lucky one. You were always happy with the things on the lower branches.
”

The things within grasp. Yes, thought Adrian tenderly, Sarah would always set her mind on the star that was out of reach.

Nonie
’
s voice from the doorway bade them
“
come on out of that or the turkey-bird will spoil,
”
and everyone went in to dinner.

“
You know,
”
Brian Kavanagh said,
stooping over a candle-flame to light his cigar,
“
I think the experiment has worked so far.
”

“
The experiment?
”
Adrian looked enquiring. The two men were still lingering over their port, but Joe had already left them to join the others in the library.

“
Sarah
’
s hare-brained scheme to take in boarders.
”

“
Oh, I see. You weren
’
t in favor of the idea, then?
”

“
Oh, yes. I backed her up and talked the others round as it happened. It seemed to me a less impossible scheme than some of her previous ideas, and something had to be done if they were to stop on at Dun Rury.
”
He smiled at Adrian with sudden charm.
“
I wonder if Sarah realizes how lucky she
’
s been in her first resident
.
”

Adrian
’
s eyes twinkled.

“
I doubt if she would put it that way. As a lodger I gather I wasn
’
t wholly satisfactory.
”

Brian smiled.

“
She
’
s like her father, hot-headed, stubborn, and no sense of business.
”

“
She tells me she
’
s the practical one of the family.
”

“
God save the others, then! I sometimes think it
’
s a case of the halt leading the lame, though, mind you, they listen to her. For all her youth and her scatter-brained notions, she runs her family, and they look to her, young as she is. Emma has never had any mind of her own, and Kathy—well, Kathy was brought up to be a young lady and fold her hands.
It wasn
’
t her fault, it was her father
’
s.
”

“
Yet he left the place to Sarah. Surely an unusual action.
”

Brian looked thoughtfully down the long table laden with glass and the heavy, old-fashioned silver he had remembered for years.

“
I don
’
t think so,
”
he said.
“
Denis thought he hadn
’
t been fair to the girl—in his affections, I mean. You can
’
t help being fonder of one child more than another, I suppose, but he showed it. Besides, he knew Kathy would marry and leave home, and he wanted to leave provision for Sarah in case.
”

“
In case she didn
’
t marry? But why should he presume she wouldn
’
t?
”

“
Ah, well, she was only just sixteen when he died, a thin little slip of a girl, the tomboy of the family, and his eyes were always
blinded by Kathy—she was so like her mother, you see. I used to try and persuade him to send her to school, and he said he would when Kathy came home, but I doubt it, and when he died there was no money, anyway. He had overspent his income for years. Sarah ought to sell, of course—not that the place would fetch much now.
”

“
There
’
s some good stuff here,
”
Adrian said, glancing round the room.

“
Ah, sure there
’
s good stuff, and bad stuff, too. Denis had no taste at all. It was Kathleen who had the taste, and most of what she bought has gone. Sarah has been selling these past two years. We couldn
’
t stop her, it
’
s her own stuff. If I protested she
’
d just give me one of her crusading looks and say the house was all that mattered.
”

Adrian smiled. He knew Sarah
’
s crusading look.

“
It seems a pity,
”
he said carefully,
“
that she should make a fetish of the place. I imagine it
’
s all mixed up with her feelings for her father.
”

“
Maybe, though, myself, I think it
’
s most stubborn pride. But she
’
ll be forced to it in the end.
”

“
Do you think so? It strikes me that hanging on to Dun Rury is the one thing she
’
s certain of.
”

“
Ah, she
’
s a child! She sacrifices too much to a lost cause. Kathy will marry soon, but there
’
s still Danny. He can
’
t go to the village school all his life. Denis owed him something, too. And what
’
s the future? You
’
ll go and others will come, if she
’
s lucky, and as soon as they annoy her i
n
any way she
’
ll throw them out with never a thought for the money. She
’
s not cut out for the job.
”
He gave
Adrian a quick glance.
“
I wonder was it Sarah
’
s need or
Kathy
’
s pretty face that made
you
change you
r
mi
nd about
stopping.
”