Then Came Indecision (Southern Love #2) (6 page)

When the pain overcame her, she took out her phone and stared at a picture she and Blaise took in the back of his truck when they were at the creek. Her weakness overcame her, and she called him.

“Alexandra?” Blaise’s voice was frantic. “I’m so fucking glad you called me. I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for a damn week.”

She sniffed, feeling her heart convulse at the sound of his voice.

“Alexandra, is everything okay?”

“Please stop talking,” she whispered.

He said nothing.

She took a deep breath. “Could we please not talk about us or our relationship—any of that?” She wiped her tears on her shirt.

Blaise paused for a long moment. “What did you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know…”

“Well…I’m in California right now.”

“What?” She wondered if she heard him right.

“There was a catastrophe at my cotton field. I’m trying to save my plants from pesticide poisoning. There are a few experts here.”

“Oh my god,” she said. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“No,” he said simply. “I’m taking care of it. But thanks for the offer.”

“I can’t believe that…”

“Yeah.”

They were silent.

Blaise cleared his throat. “Why did you call me?”

She twirled a piece of hay in her fingers. “I—I just miss you.”

“God, I miss you too.
Alex—”

“Please don’t go there.”

He sighed. “How are you doing?”

“I’m okay,” she said quietly.

“How’s Martha?”

“About the same.”

Blaise sighed. “Is anything new going on?”

She immediately thought of Paul, the
ex-boyfriend that was sleeping on her couch. “No…”

“Has Gabe been bothering you?”

“No.”

“Let me know if
he does,” Blaise said darkly. “I’ll snap his neck instantly.”

“That won’t be necessary.” She looked through the gaps in the wood of the building.

“Are you in the loft?”

His words made her eyes water again. “Yeah.”

“Can we talk when I get back? There’s something I need to tell you.”

She shook her head even though he couldn’t see her. “No. There’s nothing to say.”

“Then why did you call me?”

She said nothing.

“Please see me when I get back. That isn’t a request.”

“I don’t know…”

“I’ll see you when I return. Thank you for calling me.” He fidgeted with the phone. “And pick up when I call. Did you listen to my voicemails?”

“No.”

“Please listen to them.”

“I already deleted them.”

He sighed. “I’ll tell you in person, then.”

“Bye.”

“Alexandra.”

She flinched.

“I love you.”

Alexandra stayed on the line but didn’t speak. The words would only make the break up a million times harder. It was already a stupid decision to call him. “Bye.” She hung up.

She dropped the phone on the hay next to her. His w
ords still echoed in her mind. She needed to let him go. They were over.

“Baby?”

Alexandra stilled when she recognized Paul’s voice. Quickly, she wiped her tears away then looked over the ledge. “I’m up here.”

He looked up. When he saw her face, his eyes softened. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she lied.

He stared at her for a moment then climbed up the ladder. When he reached the landing
, he sat beside her. “You can’t lie to me.”

She didn’t look at him.

Paul placed his hand on the back of her neck and rubbed her gently. When his fingers touched the strands that fell over her shoulder, her arms shivered. “Talk to me, baby.”

“I’m fine,” she said quietly.

He pressed his face close to hers. “Why won’t you tell me?”

She sighed. “You don’t want to hear about it.”

Paul dropped his hand. “I told you I want to know everything that bothers you, especially things that make you cry. Now tell me.”

She shook her head. “I hate hurting you.”

“You can’t hurt me more than you already have.”

“I wouldn’t want to hear about you and that other girl.”

He cupped her cheek and turned her gaze to him. “Well, you and I are different.” He pressed his lips to her forehead and held them there for a long time. “Now tell me.”

Alexandra took a deep breath. “I miss him. And I hate it.”

His features were fixed in place. He didn’t react in any way. “It’s normal to miss someone you care about.”

“But I shouldn’t care about him…”

“We all make mistakes,” Paul said gently. “Don’t let yourself carry that weight forever.”

“When we—were together—I thought it meant something. Now I feel like I’m just another chain around his belt, another trophy for his wall. He says he loved me, that he still does, but how could he? I just feel so stupid for falling or him.”

Paul looked away and stared at the hay below his feet, saying nothing for a long time. It didn’t seem like he would utter a word. “What happened with him?”

“I already told you.”

“In detail.”

Alexandra sighed. “Everything was perfect between us. Then I found out he was still living with
his girlfriend, who was carrying his child at one point. My friends told me everything….even his brother said they were still together.”

“That’s sound
evidence,” he said simply.

“But he says nothing happened, that she only lives with him for a special circumstance.”

“And what was the circumstance?”

“He said he couldn’t tell me.”

He shook his head. “Whenever I hear about this guy I want to shove my fist through a wall.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you.”

“No,” he said quickly. “I’m just mad someone hurt you so much. He clearly used you, baby. I’m sorry to be so blunt about it, but that’s exactly what he did. He got his dick wet then left when you found out the truth.”

Her heart ached. “Then why do I believe him…at least a part of me?”

“It’s wishful thinking.” He turned to her. “Alexandra, I’m sorry that happened to you. I’m not just saying that. I would much rather come back and win you back from a guy who treated you right. And with me, you’d never have to worry about that. You can trust me to always be honest with you, to always love you.”

“But you cheated on me…”

“And I explained why. I was drunk and depressed. Nothing happened anyway. It wasn’t like I slept with her or even had feelings for her. It’s always been you. It’ll always be you.” He grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips. “Come home with me.”

She stared into his eyes, seeing the blue irises shine.

“I’ll never hurt you again, baby. You have my word.”

“I—I don’t know.”

“Why?”

She pulled her hand away. “I’m just so confused.”

“What’s there to be confused about?” he snapped. “This guy doesn’t love you. He never loved you. I’m the man who made love to you every night for a year, the man who was your best friend through everything, the man who’s family you’ve already met, the man that will marry you right now if you agreed.” Her breathing increased as she listened to him. “Baby, I’ll wait forever for you because I’m the reason you ran away. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t fucked up. I realize that you wouldn’t have slept with him if I hadn’t caused it. But don’t waste any more time on this guy. You belong with me. It’s always been me.”

“It’s not just that…”

He sighed. “We’ll figure out what to do about Martha so we can go home.”

“I have everything else.”

His eyes narrowed. “School and work are just a waste of time. I’m sorry to be an ass, but it’s true. You’re looking for something you’ll never find. I’ll take care of you until you figure out what you really want. I make more than enough money for both of us and Martha, if she decides to come with us.”

“I don’t want your money, Paul.”

“I know,” he said gently. “It’s only temporary.”

She looked away.

“I’m giving you everything you need. Now make the right decision.”

“It’s not that simple,” she whispered.

He sighed in frustration. “I guess I’ll wait until you make up your mind.”

“Paul, you don’t have to stay here.”

“Yes, I do,” he snapped. “Where you go, I go. You’re my girl. I take care of you. And I can’t do that when we’re in different states.”

She hugged her waist and took a deep breath. Paul continued to stare at her, drilling holes into her skin with the intensity of his gaze. There was nothing for her in Georgia but she didn’t want to leave. She wasn’t ready to be a nurse again, and she couldn’t leave her aunt high and dry. But she knew there was a bigger, more important reason.

Chapter Ten

Alexandra walked into the living room and grabbed her purse. Paul stood up and leaned against the doorway, staring at her. She felt his gaze burn her skin. Without looking at him, she knew he was staring at every inch of her.

Alexandra turned to him.

“You look...” He rubbed his chin. “Yowza.”

Her cheeks turned bright red.

Paul came to her then wrapped his arms around her waist. The dark blue fabric slid through his fingers while he grabbed it. He looked down at her, seeing the thin straps over her shoulders. “You’re more beautiful every time I see you.”

She stepped away before he could make a move. “Thanks…”

“So, who’s party are we going to?”

Alexandra looked at him. “
We
? You aren’t coming.”

He crossed his arms over her chest, showing the tattoos on his forearms. “You think I’m going to let you anywhere near Gabe at a party, where
there will be alcohol and drugs?”

“I don’t drink or smoke.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Well, I don’t drink a lot.”

He smiled. “What about that time you got so drunk you begged me to fuck you as hard as I could?”

Her eyes widened. “Shh! Martha is in her room.”

“So? Does she think you’re a virgin?”

“That’s not the point,” she snapped. “And that was different. I
went to that party with you. I knew you’d take care of me.”

“Well, obviously I didn’t if I took advantage of you.”

“We’re in love. It’s different.”

He dropped his arms to his sides, and his eyes softened as he looked at her.

Alexandra realized what she said. “We
were
in love.” She tried to amend it but the damage was done.

He smiled at her. “I’m coming. I’ll look after you.”

“I don’t need someone to watch me.”

“Come on,” he said as he cupped her face. “We’ll have a good time.”

“No.” She stepped away. “I want to have a night with absolutely no drama.”

“Drama follows you everywhere you go. That’s going to be a little hard to pull o
ff.”

“I’ll manage,” she said as she walked to the door.

He cut her off. “At least let me drive you. That way you won’t drive home drunk. It’ll give me a peace of mind.”

“I don’t drink and drive.”

“Baby, just let me take you. Call me when you want me to pick you up.”

“You’re such a control freak!”

He shrugged. “You have a point. You should just accept it. You’re lucky I’m not going to the party with you.”

“Fine,” she said. “You can drop me off.”

“Thank you.” He wrapped his arm around her then pulled her to his chest. Before she could move away, he kissed her on the forehead.

The touch reminded her of Blaise. He used to do it when he couldn’t have what he really wanted. She took a sharp intake of breath.

Paul looked down at her. “What did I do?”

“I just—don’t kiss me like that.”

He looked wounded. “I’m sorry.”

She stepped away. “I should get going.”

“Okay.”

They got into his car and drove to the house in the country.
Lisa’s friends had a beautiful country house with acres of land. Apparently, the owner had a party every year. Alexandra didn’t want to go but her friends were making her. And after ditching the cornfield party, she knew she should go.

“I thought you didn’t like parties,” Paul said.

“I don’t.”

“Then why are you going?”

“Hannah wants me to be her wingman—woman.”

He shook his head. “Well, that’s going to explode in her face.”