Then Came Indecision (Southern Love #2) (2 page)

“I’ll try…”

“No, you’ll do it. You aren’t meant to be a tech, Alex.”

“I said I would try.”

He released her face then continued to stare at her. “I don’t understand why you let this other guy love you. Why couldn’t you just let me?”

The story of Blaise was confusing, even for Alexandra. “I never expected anything to happen with anyone else, honestly.”

“Then why did it?”

She shrugged. “I can’t explain it.”

“Did you tell him what happened at the hospital?”

“A few months after I met him.” She finished her sandwich then put it down. “But I liked knowi
ng no one here had any idea where I came from. In New York, I felt like everyone knew. In Georgia, I started over again, picked a new path. I just thought it would be easier.”

“Was it?”

“For a while.”

“Until this asshole cheated on you.”

Alexandra looked out the window and stared into the darkness.

“Has he bothered you?”

Alexandra didn’t want to move into that territory. “I always pick the wrong ones.”

“No, you don’t. I’m not the wrong one,” Paul said firmly. “We both made mistakes and we both learned from them. Nothing has changed between us. We still love eac
h other as much as we always have.” He grabbed her hand and placed it over his heart. She felt the faint thump underneath. His eyes shined bright as he stared at her. Alexandra noticed the broad lines of his shoulders and the muscles of his arms. Flashbacks of their time together came to her instantly. “You’re mine, Alexandra. I am yours.”

The touch was welcomed and warm, but she had to end the embrace. “I’m not ready for a relationship, Paul. I just got out of one.”

“I know,” he said gently. “But we can take it slow. I don’t expect anything from you.”

She placed her hand on her thigh but he grabbed it again, his fingers brushing hers.

“Baby, let’s go home. I want to move in with you, be with you. I’ll marry you today if that’s what you want. I made a mistake and I apologized for it. You can trust me.”

She sighed. Why did she fall for cheaters? “I just want to be with someone who won’t hurt me.”

“Then I’m your guy.”

“I hate imagining you kissing some other girl.”

His eyes turned angry. “And I hate thinking about some asshole fucking you. Believe me, that keeps me up late into the night.”

She flinched at the anger in his voice.

“If I can’t let that go, you can let this go. That’s more than reasonable.”

She pulled away. “I—I don’t know what I want.”

“You love me, right?”

Alexandra ran her fingers through her hair. “That’s such a stupid question.”

“I want to hear you say it.”

“Paul, I love you.”

He took a deep breath, his eyes softening. “Then that solves everything.”

She wished it were that simple.

“Do you love this other guy?”

Now she felt cornered. “I—I don’t know.”

“So, that’s a yes,” he said sadly. “But you’re never going to take him back after what he did, right?”

“No.”

“Then let’s leave so you can move on with your life.”

“Paul, I can’t. I already said that.”

“Because of your aunt?” he asked.

She nodded.

“Let me help. I don’t know anything about working in the fields, but I’m a quick learner. You can show me.”

“No,” she said firmly. “I can take care of it.”

“Then how long are you staying here?”

“Until my aunt sees reason.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What does that mean?”

“She needs to sell her land but she refuses to do it. I need to convince her otherwise.”

“Why won’t she?”

“Because she lived there with my uncle until the day he died. He’s buried on the property.”

He nodded. “I see.”

“I don’t know what to do…”

“I’m sure you’ll make her realize her fate,” he said. “Or you can have her come back to New York with us.”

“New York?” she asked. “And do what?  She has no skills.”

“We can take care of her,” he said. “I make good money as a lawyer and you make a great income as a nurse. And she seems pretty self-sufficient.”

She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. She close
d it again then reopened her lips. “You would do that?”

“Of course,” he said. “I know she’s like a mom to you.”

“I—I don’t know what to say.”

“Does that mean you’ll come back with me if she agrees?”

“Uh…”

He smiled. “I think that’s a yes.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Close enough.” He leaned back in his seat. “And you’ll never have to see that jerk again. You’ll forget about him just as quickly as the previous season.”

Alexandra didn’t want to forget about Blaise. Although, there was no reason why she should hold onto him. Their relationship was over. She was unsure how she felt about his situation with Danielle, but even if he was telling the truth, it seemed too complicated. She didn’t need a psycho ex making her life more difficult than it needed to be. She wished she had never met Blaise, had never made love to him under the stars of the sky, and had never told him her darkest secrets.

Chapter Three

Alexandra put on her cowboy hat and walked onto the field bright and early the next morning. Taking care of the cotton had become easier over time. Now she felt confident doing it alone, at least at this point in time. She may need Blaise’s help when it was time to harvest the cotton.

“Hey.”

She looked up and saw Blaise. He was turning the wheel of the pump, shirtless. The lines of his chest and stomach were highlighted under the sunrise. Every inch of his skin was chiseled with hard muscle. Alexandra’s surprise was replaced with awe. Her mind became distracted for a moment.

He smiled at her. “I like your hat.”

“Huh?”

“You look really cute.”

“Oh.” She touched the brim then brought her hands to her sides. She wasn’t sure what to do with them. She always felt awkward around Blaise. The nervousness never seemed to go away.

He wiped his hands on his jeans then
approached her.

She kept staring at him.

His hands moved around her waist and held her close. The feel of his touch was heaven. His hands fit around her waist perfectly, cupping her slim lines. He rubbed his nose against hers and made her feel soft and weak.

When she realized what was happening, she stepped back. “No.”

He raised an eyebrow. “No?”

“I know what you’re doing.”

“And what would that be?”

She turned away from him. “Put on a shirt.”

“It’s hot.”

Alexandra went to the next irrigation pump and turned the wheel.

“Allow me,” he said. He grabbed it and turned it in a flash. He kept positioning himself in her line of sight.

“Sex isn’t going to erase everything,” she said.

“Who said anything about sex?” His smile was wider than she’d ever seen it.

She grabbed his shirt from the ground and threw it at him.

“Well, at least it’s working.”

Alexandra ignored him and move
d to the next pump.

Blaise pulled the shirt over his head then followed behind her.

“I don’t need help, Blaise.”

“I know you don’t.”

“Then leave,” she said firmly.

“While I have faith in your abilities, I just want to check everything. If anything goes wrong, it could cost Martha’s livelihood.”

“Why do I feel like that has nothing to do with it?”

He shrugged. “You’re the one who keeps thinking about sex.”

She rolled her eyes then continued across the field.

“So, how are you?” he asked.

“The same,” she said quietly.

“Anything new in your life? How’s the hospital?”

“It’s okay,” she said. “Dr. Kenley still has it out for me.”

“I can mess him up
.”

“Why is that your solution to everything?”

“It’s not,” Blaise said. “Gabe is still breathing, isn’t he?”

“You need to leave him alone.”

“No,” he snapped. “That guy crowds you. It’s like he’s suffocating you.”

“I can take care of myself.”

Blaise moved in front of her. “Just be honest with me. Do you have feelings for him?”

Alexandra shook her head. “Of course not.”

He breathed a sigh of relief. “You promise?”

Her eyes narrowed. “I shouldn’t have to promise anything. Unlike you, my word is good enough.”

“I never said it wasn’t.”

Alexandra finished examining the rows before she went into the warehouse. Blaise followed her then grabbed two waters from the refrigerator.

“Let’s go into the loft.”

“No,” she said quickly.

“Come on,” he said.

“No,” she repeated.

“You don’t trust me?” he asked.

Alexandra didn’t trust herself.

He handed her a water. “I think you should ask Gabe to back off.”

“Blaise, just stay out of it.”

“You realize he’s trying to swoop in, right?”

“I’m not totally blind.”

“Then you should talk to him,” he said seriously.

Alexandra sighed. “I’ll handle it.”

“Or I can handle it for you.”

She stared him down. “Blaise, we aren’t together anymore. I want you to leave me alone.”

“We
are
together.”

“Please stop doing this to me.”

“Doing what?”

“You’re hurting me. I’m not changing my mind, Blaise
. I can’t be with someone I don’t trust.”

“You
can
trust me!”

She gripped her hair. “We’re going in circles.” She left the warehouse and walked back to the house.

“Alexandra, wait.” He ran and caught up to her. “I know you don’t want to be with me anymore, and I completely understand why. I don’t chase girls very often. It’s usually the other way around. But I can’t just let you go. Not when I did nothing wrong.”

She crossed her arms over
her chest. “Then explain everything to me.”

He sighed. “You know I can’t do that.”

“Blaise, I never want to see you again unless you can explain yourself. I mean it.”

“I don’t know when that will be. I’m afraid you’ll move on with someone else before I get the chance.”

She stared him down. “Then I suggest you hurry.”

Blaise took a deep breath. “Can we still be
friends until that time arrives?”

“No,” she said quickly. “I can’t be
friends with someone I’m in love with. It just makes every day unbearable.”

“I’m not trying to hurt you,” he said gently.

“Then do as I ask.”

“I—I can’t.”

“Instead of spending all this time trying to taunt me, you should focus your efforts on fixing all your personal drama.” She walked up the steps. “I mean it.”

He stayed rooted to the spot and watched her walk inside. “Alexandra.”

Against her will, she stopped and turned around. He was the only person who said her full name, and when he did, it made her spin shiver. “What?”

“I love you.” He took a deep breath while he stared at her, his eyes coating with tears that wouldn’t fall. His strong frame was shattered underneath him. Even though he stood under the bright sun, he seemed like a shadow. He was an empty vessel, his essence spilt on the ground below his feet. He waited for her to say the words back.

“And I you.” She walked inside and shut the door.

Chapter Four

When Alexandra walked back into the house, breakfast was sitting on the table. Aunt Martha was reading the newspaper, her glasses perched on her nose. She had a pad on her lower back to cushion her against the chair.

Alexandra sighed when she sat down.

“It’s a little early in the day to be in such a bad mood.”

Alexandra ate her pancakes, her eyes downcast.

“So, what’s up?”

She sighed.

“You’ve been keeping too many secrets. Spill it.”

“Paul is here.”

Martha put down the newspaper. “Your ex-boyfriend, Paul?

“The only Paul we know.”

“What’s he want?”

“He says I need to go back to New York with him.”