Theirs (4 page)

“To
be honest, I don’t think I am going back to Denver. It doesn’t hold the appeal
it used to. I’d rather stay in Burkett where I can be close to you guys.” It
was the honest truth.
Tallin
and Riley were her
rocks, and she knew that without them, this situation would have broken her.

“Really?”

There
was surprise in his voice, and she glanced up again. She beamed at the
happiness that shone on his face. “Yeah, seriously.”

His
smile was broad.

“I’m
glad my decision makes you happy. My feelings might have been hurt if you had
suggested I go back.”

His
face had gone serious, all hints of the previous happiness gone. “Why would I
do that?”

She
shrugged. “I don’t know. During Christian’s wake, a lot of people were telling
me I should go back to Denver. They told me staying in Burkett might be too
hard. I know they meant well and didn’t want to see me in pain, but the more I
thought about it, the more the idea of leaving hurt.” She heard his chair
scrape across the floor a second before she was being pulled out of hers and
wrapped in his warm embrace. He just held her, neither one of them speaking as
he led her into the living room, their dishes forgotten.

Chapter
Five

Something More

The
fire crackled and popped, and she felt the cushion beside her dip as Riley sat
next to her.
Shoulder to shoulder,
they just watched the fire, which seemed to be they’d been doing a lot of
lately.

“It
makes me immensely pleased that you’re deciding to stay in Burkett.”

She
drew her gaze away from the flames and looked over at Riley. “I like staying
here and being with you guys.”

They
sat for several moments in silence before he spoke again.

“I
don’t want to lie to you. It was hell while you were away. I hated it.”

“I
was only a phone call and drive away.”

He
was shaking his head before she even finished. “No, you know it isn’t the same.
I missed giving you hugs, having lunch with you. Just being with you.”

Tears
started to well in her eyes as he spoke such soft and loving words. She reached
her hand out and cupped his cheek. He leaned into her embrace, his eyes closing
momentarily before opening again as he looked down at her. She let her hand
fall, swallowing as their gazes continued to stay locked. He lifted his hand
and trailed his finger along her jaw.

This isn’t right. Stop thinking
about Riley like that. He’s your best friend.

“Do
you know how much I care about you, Lilly?”

She
nodded. “I love you, too.”

“No.”
He stopped speaking for a second and just looked into her eyes. “Do you
really
know how much I love you?”

She
swallowed from the intensity of his voice. “I love you, too, Riley,” she said
again. He gave a humorless laugh and shook his head, running his hand over his
hair. The short strands stuck up haphazardly, but it looked good on him.

“It’s
hard, Lilly.”

Her
brows knitted as she stared his profile. “What’s hard?” She had a feeling he
wasn’t talking about Christian’s death.

He
glanced at her again with an emotion she couldn’t quite place. “Loving
you—wanting you when I know I can’t have you.”

Her
mouth opened slightly at his admission because she knew the love he was talking
about had nothing to do with the love two friends shared. “What?”

Oh,
she had heard him, but her mind was reeling with what he had just revealed. She
blinked a few times as both of them stared at each other. Her heart started to
pound frantically when he slowly moved forward.

Oh God, he’s going to kiss me.

“Stop
me, Lilly. If you truly don’t feel the same way, then stop me.”

He
sounded strangled, haggard. His mouth was an inch away from hers, his sweet
breath brushing along her lips in a sensuous way. Even though she knew she
shouldn’t do it because they were friends, lifelong ones at that, she couldn’t
help the rush of emotions that filled her by Riley’s admission. She did love
him, was so in love
with
 
him
that her heart hurt with the pent-up emotions. Even though
what they were about to do may not be right, she was helpless to stop it.

He
gently cupped her cheek as he tilted his head and pressed his mouth against
hers. The kiss was soft and tentative, his lips so smooth and warm that they
instantly had her body lighting up. He started to move his lips along hers, his
tongue tentatively stroking along the seam of her mouth until she opened and
let him inside. He tasted like syrup, sweet and addictive and making her
erogenous zones tingle with awareness.

She
brought her hands up and gripped his biceps, the muscles beneath her fingers
flexing as he moved closer to her. His other hand cupped her waist, his mouth
still working slowly against hers.

Soon
that soft and tentative kiss became more heated, more demanding. His tongue
stroked along hers. His hand clenched and unclenched on her hip. She opened her
mouth wider, softly moaning as she forgot about everything except the feel of
his mouth on hers. Her pussy became wet, her clit swelled, and her nipples
beaded. He suddenly broke the kiss, pulling her so close that one of her legs
draped across his thigh.

“God,
I love you. You feel so good, so right pressed up against me.”

She
wrapped her arms around his shoulders and let her body hum with a warmth that
had nothing to do with the fire. He moved back and cupped her face, his lips
mere inches from her own.

“I’m
so in love with you, Lilly. Did you know that? Since the moment I realized what
love was, I knew that was how I felt for you.”

She
smiled, her eyes becoming moist again as Riley pored his heart out to her.

“I
tried pushing away what I felt for you, tried to tell myself wanting you was
wrong. I didn’t want to cross that line, so I buried what I felt, tried to be
with other people, find love elsewhere.” He shook his head again. “It was no
use. You’re it for me, all I think about.”

Her
pulse was beating so hard and fast she couldn’t even think straight. But the
truth of what she wanted to say was right there on the tip of her tongue. She
knew she couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“I’m
so in love with you, Riley,” Lilly whispered. “I feel like I shouldn’t have
those kinds of emotions toward you.” Lilly closed her eyes for a moment.
Or these emotions for
Tallin
either.
“It almost seems wrong.” She dropped her gaze, but he guided her
head back up with his finger under her chin until she was looking at him again.

“Don’t
say that, sweetheart. I’ve realized what I feel for you isn’t wrong. It could
never be wrong.”

“It
just seems … selfish of me to want you the way I do.”

“Selfish?”
He sounded confused.

“You
guys have always been there for me. Protecting me, being my shoulder to cry on,
and just being there for me no matter what.” She remembered when Christian,
Tallin
, and Riley had cornered Jacob
Phinson
—a
guy who wouldn’t take “no” for an answer. The asshole had pissed himself before
they even bitch-slapped him. He never did bother her again.

“How
can we not be all those things to you? We love you, Lilly. There isn’t anything
selfish about your feelings. It’s only natural for us to feel this way for you,
to love you so much that it takes up our entire beings.”

Us.

We.

She
sat back, wondering why he had spoken in the plural, but she didn’t question
him, just let what he said absorb into her. What he didn’t know, and what she
could never tell him, was that he wasn’t the only one she had those feelings
for.

As
if he had heard her thoughts,
Tallin
came in and
slammed the side door. There was some rustling of clothes a minute before he
walked into the living room with an armful of freshly chopped wood. He stopped,
looking between them, and his brows drawn down.

“What?”
Tallin’s
voice was gruff, and his cheeks and nose
were red from the blistering cold.

Lilly’s
cheeks became hot as she thought about what she and Riley had just shared. She
knew
Tallin
hadn’t missed the blush. It was obvious
when his eyes went back to Riley’s for a suspended second.

“Need
some help carrying in the wood?”
Tallin
stared at
Riley for another moment before bringing his eyes to her and shaking his head.

“Nah,
Riley can help. I don’t want you to get a splinter.”

She
had to laugh because
Tallin
was so serious. “A
splinter? Really?”

“Those
things can be a real bitch. Remember when you stubbed your toe? That didn’t
hurt as much as a big-ass splinter shoved into your hand would. Trust me.”

She
was smiling as she watched
Tallin
stack the wood by
the fireplace. Riley got up and left the living room. The silence between her
and
Tallin
was tangible, and the way he watched her,
the expression on his face, made her feel bared, for some reason.

A
moment later, Riley came back in with a pile of wood in his arms. She leaned
back on the couch, staring at them as her own personal questions and concerns
filled her head. She needed to figure out what in the hell was going on with
her, and how she’d deal with the new revelations.

Chapter
Six

Clarity

The
next few days passed fairly quickly, and the snowstorm was finally starting to
let up. The weather was still frigid, and because of that, the snow was turning
into ice. The main roads had been cleared for the most part, but it would still
be a pain in the ass to make it down the mountain. But even though Lilly knew
she should go back to her own cabin, put her feelings and what she and Riley
had said behind her for the time being, she couldn’t stomach the idea of
leaving Riley and
Tallin
.

She’d
stayed up during the night, her thoughts bombarding her as she tried to make
sense of her feelings. The more she thought about it, the more her
embarrassment and shame decreased. She hadn’t done anything more with Riley,
not even talking about their feelings, although she didn’t miss the way he
stared at her, the way his whiskey-colored eyes watched her with a hunger that
made her heart skip a beat.

Lilly
had initially thought it would be slightly uncomfortable, seeing him and
knowing what they had shared, but it wasn’t. She actually found herself more at
ease. Riley hadn’t attempted to kiss her again, and she had a feeling he was
waiting for her to decide what she truly wanted.

Tallin
hadn’t left the cabin either, and
she couldn’t help herself and let her mind explore the emotions she felt for
him. True, she loved both of them very much, but examining them as a woman
would a man, she knew it was so much more than that. How had she not seen the
truth all along? How had she been so blind? She didn’t know if
Tallin
even felt the same toward her, but how would she
ever find out? Wasn’t it taboo to love two men at the same time? To
be
with two men? They were her childhood
friends, as well, and that seemed like she was doing something totally wrong,
wanting something that was off-limits.

As
she really thought about it, she realized she didn’t just love them, she was
in
love with them, but there was the
very real possibility she could lose them both if she revealed her desires.

Shaking
her head, she knew she could never be with them in the way she desired. It was
a moot point anyway. She might want
Tallin
, but aside
from a stolen glance here and there, which she interpreted in her own way, he
had never acted as though he were interested in her. Although, neither had
Riley until recently.

She
sat by the window in the library, a book in her lap as she focused on the
setting sun. There hadn’t been much of it lately, but every so often, she could
see it peeking through the dense clouds and making the snow sparkle like a
million little diamonds.

Tallin
was out getting more firewood, and
Riley was working in his study. It had been over a week now that she’d been at
the cabin, and the food was starting to dwindle down. They’d have to go to town
soon, and she’d have to face the fact she couldn’t stay in this bubble forever.

She’d
been able to use the snow as an excuse, but now the storm was lifting and she’d
told Riley she didn’t want to outstay her welcome and it was probably time for
her to leave. To say the expression on his face hadn’t affected her would be a
lie.

Now
that she’d finally opened her eyes and accepted what had been hidden deep
inside of her for so long, her feelings for Riley and
Tallin
were starting to take their toll on her, starting to become stronger. Even now,
she couldn’t help but picture how
Tallin
had looked
when he’d come down after his shower this morning.

He
hadn’t bothered with a t-shirt, and when he’d walked into the kitchen, she’d
had to force herself not to gawk.
Tallin
was a big
guy, tall and heavily muscled thanks to his training with the Marines, but it
had been years since she’d seen him without a shirt on, and back then, she
hadn’t fully appreciated what she saw, hadn’t let her emotions take root in
her.

Closing
her eyes and breathing out, the image of
Tallin
kept
replaying in her head. His chest, honed to physical perfection, had a dark
trail of hair starting below his navel and disappeared beneath his loose jeans.
She got wet now just thinking about it. Fortunately, neither Riley nor
Tallin
had seen the way she’d been looking at him. If they
had she would have been mortified, humiliated beyond belief.

Opening
her eyes she focused on the wall in front of her. Riley was getting under her
skin, as well. Even now, as she lay in bed, she couldn’t sleep, couldn’t get
her mind off of the two men. Pushing the blankets off of her, she rose and
grabbed the robe Riley had given her. The sun wasn’t even up yet, the shadows
washing through the partially opened curtain. She’d walk the house a little,
trying to clear her head while everything was quiet and still.

The
noise of the clock ticking in the hallway was the only sound she heard, but as
she moved down the stairs and into the living room, the sound of rhythmic
pounding filled the air. Following the thumping noise, she came upon Riley’s
study, and pushed the partially ajar door fully open.

Lilly
sucked in a breath as she stared in rapt awe at Riley running on a treadmill.
He wasn’t as tall or bulky as
Tallin
, but his body
was tight and corded, like that of a swimmer.

She
stood in the doorway, barely breathing, knowing he couldn’t see or hear her.
His earbuds were in, his eyes closed, and his chest bare. Sweat rolled down his
skin in rivulets that had her pussy clenching with desire. He only wore a pair
of track shorts, his legs toned and muscular as he ran with precision. His
muscles flexed and bunched. His body was like a machine. She stood there until
he slowed to a brisk walk and then quickly turned and left, not wanting to be
caught staring at him.

Heading
back to her room, she shut the door and breathed out. Closing her eyes, all she
could feel was the pounding of her heart in her ears, and the feeling of her pussy
wet. Thinking about
Tallin’s
massive muscles and
Riley’s toned perfection, all she wanted to do right at this moment was touch
herself.

If
she didn’t control herself she’d became insane with her lust and feelings for
them. As it was her body was at a constant arousal, her breasts swollen and her
nipples tight. Her pussy was moist all the time, her clit so swollen it felt
like her pulse was stationed there. Lilly couldn’t help her body’s reaction,
and it wasn’t something she could ignore.

Pushing
away from her door she went to the window and pulled the curtain aside. She
just stared at the ground, and the snow covered trees, the way the disappearing
moon made it seem like diamonds were scattered across everything.

Lilly
must have stood there for a good twenty minutes, not able to go back to sleep,
and not able to clear her mind.

There
was a light rap on her door. “Lilly?”

She
looked at the doorway, her heart pounding fast. Before she even said anything
the door was pushed open and Riley stood there, his chest bare, a light sheen
of water covering it. He wasn’t in his workout attire anymore, and instead wore
a pair of loose sweats, his feet bare. His hair was damp and in disarray from a
clear shower, and he was void of his glasses.

Trying
to control her expression and emotions, she swallowed and stepped away from the
window. “Hi,” she said softly, her voice feeling tight, sounding like it, too.

“I
saw you downstairs leaving my study. Can’t sleep?”

She
shook her head.

“Do
you want to talk?” He walked in and shut the door softly behind him.

I don’t know if what I want to talk
about is the right thing to do.

He
turned and glanced out the window when she didn’t respond, the muscles in his
jaw clenched tight.

“Listen.
I feel really bad about what happened between us.”

Her
heart nearly stopped at his words. “What do you mean?” Was he now regretting
it?

“I
shouldn’t have put in you in that position, made you uncomfortable.”

I wasn’t uncomfortable, Riley.

“I
was in the wrong, and I was being selfish. You have been through so much, we
all have, and it wasn’t right for me to push it.”

He
hadn’t looked at her when he spoke, just continued to stare out the window.
Knowing what she was about to do could possibly ruin everything, she moved
toward him, not wanting to deny herself any longer.

Life’s too short.

He
turned his head toward her, a flicker of surprise going over his face at her
sudden movement. She moved closer until they were standing chest to chest. She
lifted on her toes, cupped his cheeks, and brought his lips to hers. There was
a moment when he didn’t kiss her back and she almost pulled away, but then his
hand speared into her hair and urged her closer. He gripped her waist with his
other hand, clenching it slightly as his tongue ran over her lips, teasing and tempting
her. She opened her mouth and moaned at the feel of his tongue sliding along
hers.

Ecstasy
speared through her with an intensity so powerful that it left her breathless.
She could feel his erection straining against his sweats, pressing hard and long
against her stomach and causing her own pussy to weep with the need to be
filled. He had her against the wall in a matter of seconds, his head tilting
more to the side as his tongue speared deeper into her mouth. He tantalized her
senses, driving her higher and higher until she was forced to break the kiss
and suck in a large lungful of air.

He
immediately went to her neck, licking and sucking, dragging his teeth along the
column of her throat. The sounds coming from him were erotic and spicy and
turning her insides to jelly. Her clit throbbed heavily, and her nipples grew
tighter, longer, as if they were seeking out his mouth. His hands moved over
her body, running up the sides of her breasts, skimming over the mounds that
felt too heavy, too full.

He
skimmed his palms over her sensitive nipples, and she thrust her chest toward
him, seeking for more than the tentative touch he was giving. She panted when
she felt him slowly push his hips into her belly, grinding his cock against
her. She groaned, not able to hold the sound in. Riley lowered his head even
further, his tongue leaving a trail of liquid heat down her neck and over her
collarbone until his lips were poised right above the swell of one of her
breasts.

Before
she could say anything, his mouth had taken possession of her nipple through
the thin fabric of her shirt. She was braless, so there was nothing but that
thin layer of cotton separating them. He grabbed her breast, squeezing and
massaging the mound until she soon found herself pushing her hips out in wanton
pleasure. She could feel the defined length and girth of his shaft, which made
her gasp with lust.

He
sucked hard, her shirt becoming saturated from his saliva and fueling her
desire higher. She let her head fall against the wall as she gripped his
shoulders. His mouth moved to the other breast, and she opened her eyes and
looked down. The white material was nearly transparent as it suctioned to her
breast, her areola clearly evident through the fabric, and her engorged nipple
poking against the shirt.

He
moved his hand to the hem of her shirt, pushing the material up, and she gasped
at the feel of his fingers caressing her body. He moved his hand over her
waist, up her ribs, and cupped the breast he wasn’t sucking on. She breathed
out heavily, watching the acts as her pussy throbbed, creamed, and tingled. The
feelings he caused in her were exquisite, setting off an explosion of color
within her. Having his warm flesh on her, his mouth doing wicked things to her
nipple, could have had Lilly coming right then.

He
tweaked and pulled at her nipple, having the little nub between his thumb and
forefinger and pulling at it. He then smoothed his palm over the pleasure-pain
he’d caused, teasing the aching bud once more. Riley unlatched his mouth from
her and looked into her face. His eyes were dark and stormy, filled with desire
that mirrored hers. He took a step back, grabbed the hem of her shirt, and
pulled it up in one swift move. She flushed with arousal, her breathing erratic
as he tossed the material away and lowered his gaze to her exposed chest.

“So
damn gorgeous, Lilly,” he whispered.

She
couldn’t even form any words at the moment.

“You
are so beautiful, Lilly.” His expression was filled with love, but more than
that, especially right now, unadulterated lust was coming from him.

“Should
we really do this?” she asked, reason coming in even though she was the one
that started this right now.

“I
won’t force you into anything, but damn, Lilly,” he groaned the last word, “I
don’t want to stop.”

She
wanted Riley with a passion that rivaled anything else, but she couldn’t get
rid of that little nagging voice inside her head that told her she could
possibly ruin their friendship. She knew for sure that if she didn’t express
how much she loved him, if she didn’t open up her arms and accept what he was
offering her, she would absolutely regret it.