thefiremargins (25 page)

* * *

The mists resolved so gradually that it took Kaid some time to realize that they had. His surroundings weren't familiar. He'd expected the God's temple, instead he saw a cavern, its walls lined with spars of wood. At first he thought the two figures were engaged in some kind of highly ritualized dance, then he realized they were fighting.
His role as an observer was totally passive: he had no control over the scene before him, being unable to either move closer or shut his eyes to end it. As the scene unfolded, he realized they were fighting with knives, and that they each wore padded body armor. A practice session then, some portion of his mind observed.
The younger male was faster, quicker on his feet, darting in, then dancing back out of range. The older male, however, waited, using the minimum of energy, always meeting each attack with a deft counter. He had the experience and the patience. Then there was a quick flurry of movement from him and suddenly it was over. The younger male lay on his back, throat and belly exposed, knife held pressed beneath his ear.
As he was released, and a hand held down to help him rise, the scene faded, returning Kaid to the mists. Once more he floated in timelessness until suddenly it was ripped apart and he was catapulted into another scene.
This cavern was brightly lit, but cold. At the half dozen benches sat young adults, most of them scribbling on the pads of paper that lay there. Once more his vision focused on the same young male, whom he could now see was mountain-born like himself.
A striking female, her pelt the color of pale amber, was approaching him and he turned to speak to her. Kaid could feel the youth's intense interest in her. He spoke, then, as she turned away again, he was suddenly gripped within the young male's thoughts as everything spun sickeningly around him and her mind exploded within his.
"No! Dear God, not a Leska Link with him! Not Rezac!" he heard her cry before darkness descended on him.
It was later and they'd just left the building. Dropping onto all fours, they began to lope for the tree line, heading down the hillside. Faster and faster he ran, trying to deny what had happened while all he could remember was her reaction of hostility to what he'd been before. He knew she'd looked into the depths of his soul and condemned him without understanding. Then the world around him erupted in coruscating colors and sounds, and with a cry of impotent rage and pain, he was pitched back to the gray mists, shaking and trembling as if it had happened to him.
You thought to avoid me?
said the voice he knew so well.
Think again! You and I have an appointment at the Fire Margins, Tallinu. See that you keep it.
The voice died away to a whisper, leaving behind it a faint, echoing laughter.

* * *

Abruptly he returned to the reality of his room and the glow of the lamp. No more was it a gentle anchor beckoning him to safety, now it seemed to leap and flare, casting ominous shadows around the room.
He was lying on his side, his body still shaking from the realism of his experience. For perhaps the first time in his life, fear gripped him in its claws and wouldn't let go. What were the odds that they'd have almost identical backgrounds?
Coincidence,
he told himself, and
memories from the past, nothing more. Only echoes. A replay like the one Carrie had at Noni's.
Still shaking, he pushed himself upright, trying to remember the words of the litany to banish fear but his mind seemed frozen in that faraway time. The female— so fair, the color of Rhyasha Aldatan, even down to the braided hair. But the hatred she'd directed at him! And the male, from the mountains like him, from Ranz where you still walked with the packs or died on your own, a victim of the pack-wars. He knew what it was like, having lived there for several years when he was a youngling.
It wasn't me,
he kept repeating to himself,
he was younger
— until at last he believed it. And the female wasn't Khemu, with hair and pelt the color of soft moonlight. This one had been as bright as the sun, but her mind had seared Rezac just as surely as Khemu had seared him. There lay the true horror, all the other aspects of the ancient memory adding up to that final climax. He shuddered again, leaning forward abruptly and blowing out the lamp.
He'd had his message from the God, and there was no comfort for him in it.

* * *

As they walked through the thinning trees toward the clearing, Carrie stopped and turned to him. "We're here now," she said. "What's all the mystery about?"
"I wanted us to have a break away from everyone," he said, reaching out to take her hand. "A couple of days on our own."
"Sounds like a good idea to me, but where are we going, and why all the mystery?"
"We're camping not far from here, and actually, I do have an ulterior motive," he admitted, then hesitated. Despite all they'd been through together, despite the love they shared, she still had that quality about her that kept him unsure of her at times.
"What is it?" she asked gently, her hand tightening round his. "You're still shielding something from me."
"Tomorrow's our Link day," he said, reaching out to touch her cheek, "and you're fertile again. By tomorrow evening, you'll be pregnant."
As he felt the shock his words caused her, she tried to pull away from him.
"Carrie, listen to me," he said, reaching out to draw her into his arms. "Jack and Vanna haven't managed to find a way to prevent that yet, but we still have one choice left. We can
choose
to have this cub, to make it ours. En'Shalla, a child of the Gods, free of all the Guilds and Clans."
"I don't believe you. How can you know I'm fertile when I can't even tell?" she demanded, still twisting within his embrace.
"Be still a minute and listen to me," he said. When she'd stopped, he continued. "Believe me, Carrie, I know you're fertile. Your scent's different for one thing. Before, so much was happening that we had hardly any time for each other. Now I know you better, I know the signs."
"Another cub won't replace her," she said defiantly, looking up at him, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears.
"Never," he agreed. "You know I still grieve for her, too. Today is ours, no Link demands. It's time we moved on, Carrie; took control of our lives rather than sat back and let fate dictate what happens."
"I'll have no tests," she said.
"No tests, no doctors unless you want one," he agreed, beginning to nuzzle her ear. "You don't need to leave the estate for anything. The only Humans around will be those with Leskas of their own." His teeth gently closed on her ear.
Your choice, Carrie. It's what we talked about, our first step to freedom,
he sent.
Will you choose to be the mother of my cub?
She could feel the tension in his mind. They might be life-bonded, and though it gave him the right to expect her to carry at least one cub, he was asking her the way any young male would ask the female he loved. After what had happened the last time, he knew it was no small thing he hoped for.
I know it wasn't your choice before because we didn't think it was possible. It would mean so much to me to know we both chose to make this cub together.
Yes,
she sent, and,
I love you,
as she felt the joy wash through him.
I'm glad we have the choice this time.
With relief, he felt her body become soft and pliant once more.
There's no need for fear now. We know what to expect,
he sent, gently releasing her though he kept hold of her hand.
"So we're camping out for two days in a cave, are we?" she said as they moved off toward the clearing ahead.
It has to be done the old way,
he sent.
It's a nice cave. I've made it as comfortable as possible, even brought some food and drink in case our hunting proves fruitless.
"Are we going hunting, too?" she asked. "I'm glad it isn't winter yet!"
"Yes," he said, lips curving up in an almost human smile. "We're going hunting. If we don't catch anything, we'll have a sparse third meal!"
"How do we cook anything we might catch?" she asked, slowing down again as they approached the hillside.
"I've collected firewood," he said, tugging her gently onward. "It's quite a civilized cave, honestly. Come and see it for yourself."
He led her over to the creeper-covered rock face and began feeling among the vines with his free hand, trying to locate the entrance.
She hesitated, and he knew instantly what she feared.
"It is like stepping back into the past of my species, but there's nothing to be afraid of. I'm no different out here in the wilds than I am at home," he said quietly. He knew there were still times when for a moment she saw him as alien. "What have you to fear?"
Nothing,
she sent, dipping her head to one side, a half-smile on her face. She stepped past him and into the cave mouth.
He followed, his hand automatically reaching for the ledge inside where he'd placed his torch. Picking it up, he flicked it on, illuminating the interior.
"It's bigger than I thought," she said, following the beam upward with her eyes. The rocky ceiling was some six or seven meters above them.
"It's natural," he said. "Hollowed out by the sea I believe."
"Impressive."
He turned the light on themselves so she could see his grin. "Daunting, you mean. Don't worry," he reassured her. "We're camping farther back, and there's a natural flue to the outside under which we can light our fire."
"You used to camp out here as a youngling, with Ghyan."
"That's right," he said, aiming the beam deeper into the cave as he reached for her hand again. "I'll show you where we're sleeping. We need to go there to collect our bows."
A few meters ahead of them was a small side chamber and as they stepped inside it, Kusac felt the gentle draught of cool air from the surface ruffle his hair.
The torchlight fully illuminated the small chamber, its light bounced back by the seams of crystal that crisscrossed the rock face.
"Grass?" Carrie said in amazement, looking down at the sea of greenery around her feet.
"Not ordinary grass," he said, bending down to pick up a handful of it to show her. "See, it's round, not flat. It's called sweet-grass because of its scent. It's part of doing it the old way."
She took some from him, sniffing it gingerly.
"Traditionally, we males would find a den for our mate and line it with sweet-grass," he said. "It's supposed to possess special qualities."
"Oh?" she said, letting the grass fall back to the ground. "What are they?"
"You know the type of thing," he said evasively, his tail swaying gently from side to side as he stepped further into the chamber. "Aids fertility, helps in childbirth, the usual things. It probably won't affect you, as I expect it's species-specific." Seeing the bows and quivers propped against the far wall reminded him why they'd come into the sleep-ing cave. He was reaching for them when Carrie touched his arm.
Leave them till later,
she sent.
And no, it doesn't matter if it's me or the grass,
she added as he turned round to face her.
We'll miss second meal,
he sent.
We can eat later.
Reaching for the buckle on his belt, she lifted her face up to his.
The torch still held in one hand, he put his arm around her, letting the fingers of his free hand run through her hair.
Gods, cub, you haven't been like this since before ...
his thought faltered.
... the Challenge,
she finished for him.
Since then,
he agreed, lowering his face to hers and gently nipping her lips before kissing her Terran-style.
It's good to have you back, cub. It's been too long since you felt this relaxed with me.
It's in the past now. Let's leave it there,
she sent, returning his kiss as she dropped his belt to the ground and pressed open the front seal on his tunic.
Let me put the torch down,
he sent, trying to gently push her back.
"Sod the torch," she murmured, her hands running across the silky fur that covered the front of his body. Reaching behind herself with one hand, she took the torch from him and let it fall to the ground.
The beam flickered crazily then steadied as it landed on the deep layer of grass.
As he bent and swept her up into his arms, he felt the tension begin to build in the muscles of his lower abdomen and groin.
"I've never known anyone like you," he said softly, kneeling on the grass before putting her down gently on the pile of furs that lay nearby. "A touch, a kiss, and you have me as aroused as any youngling with his first female. You do it every time."
She lay there looking up at him as he leaned over her and deftly untied the sash she wore round her waist. His amber eyes glittered in the reflected torchlight and as he unsealed her tunic and pushed it aside, his hair brushed against her cheek.
Do I still make your heart beat faster?
he asked, his hand cupping one breast as his mouth gently closed on the other.
"Oh, yes," she whispered, reaching down to touch his ears and hair. "As fast as yours does."
One hand closed in his hair, clutching it as his teeth and tongue began to work their magic on her. Then his body was touching hers, his fur like velvet against her bare skin. The sensations began to build inside her, higher and higher till they broke, leaving her shuddering with pleasure as he released her and gave a deep purr of amusement.
"Stop teasing me," she moaned softly, reaching down for him, but her hand was batted away as he continued.
"No more." She trapped his hand with hers. "I want you
now,
Kusac."
Then he was there, within her, part of her.
En'Shalla, Carrie,
he sent as she arched her body against his.
Say it, say En'Shalla. The cub we're making is in the hands of the Gods.
"En'Shalla," she whispered, pulling him closer. "We're one, in the hands of the Gods."
As always, their minds fused, each of them experiencing the other's pleasure mingled with their own. Around them, the scent of the crushed grass rose, filling the air and making it even more difficult for him to keep the self-control he needed.
Your decision as well as mine, Carrie,
he sent.
This time we choose to make our cub, our daughter.
Then, with both their minds focused on that thought, he let his control drop.
She could feel it, like currents ebbing and flowing through their bodies and minds: a convergence of potentialities. Then mentally they reached out and grasped their choice and she felt a power like that of the gestalt surge through them. Their shared world exploded, the heightened sensations different from anything they'd experienced before, and for a brief moment— so brief that later she doubted it— she felt a third presence join with them only to vanish in the pleasure of their shared climax.
Afterward as she lay clasped safe in her life-mate's arms, she knew that their daughter had been conceived. The arm that held her cradled against his chest was unlike hers with its covering of black fur. Across her legs she could feel the gentle weight of his tail, and the feather-light touch of its tip as it rose and fell slowly. She turned her face to look up at him, feeling the warmth and silkiness of his fur against her skin. His face with the high cheekbones and bifurcated mouth was humanoid but not human, nor were the amber-colored eyes that regarded her solemnly.
She reached up to stroke his cheek. "Kashini," she said as a quiet contentment filled her. "She's called Kashini."
With relief, he released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Kashini," he agreed, lowering his head to kiss her. This time he knew she wouldn't fear their child: this time she had faced the reality of his alienness and had accepted the fact that the cub she was carrying was only part human. This cub she'd chosen to carry. He thanked the Gods that he was a telepath because there was no way words could convey to her what he felt.