thefiremargins (22 page)

* * *

"Vanna, lass," said Jack, coming over to join her at her desk. "The results have just come through."
Vanna looked up at him. "Great! Just in time. If we want to make third meal we'll have to leave in ten minutes. What's it say?"
"What we more or less expected. It's virtually the same as last time. There are some four or five of our Brotherhood friends who appear to be genetically compatible with the mixed Leskas. What's also interesting is this," he said, leaning over her to point to a section of text. "Seems we've got a couple of people here who're closely related."
Vanna frowned. "What do you mean? Who are they?" she asked, scanning back up to the top of the results. "No. They can't be," she said, looking up at him. "There's no way they're related."
Jack shrugged. "It's there in black and white, m'dear," he said. "You yourself told me he's been avoiding giving you a blood sample. I'd say that's why, wouldn't you?"
"Then he knows about this."
"Looks like it."
Vanna folded the paper over and put it down on her desk. "Gods! What do we do about it, Jack?"
"Only one thing you can do. Take his data out and make sure these results are erased. Just run a duplicate of our first program. Knowledge like this could cause them both a lot of trouble if it got into the wrong hands."
"Should I speak to him? And what about Kusac? He ought to know."
"Talk to Kaid, yes, but no one else, Vanna. The information we have is confidential, we can't go telling anyone else. You can suggest Kaid speak to Kusac, but that's all."
Vanna unfolded the results again, checked through them, then crumpled them into a ball. "Destroy them, Jack," she said, getting to her feet and handing him the ball. "Burn them. I'll see to the comm files now, I'm not leaving it till later. At least we're not linked into the main house comm yet. No one else could have seen this data. Let's keep it that way."
"Right, m'dear," nodded Jack, walking over to the sink. He put the paper down, then dug in his pocket for a lighter.

* * *

When Kusac had returned to the main house, Kaid excused himself to head off for a shower. He stood under the ceiling faucet, ears flattened back, face turned up to it, letting the water stream down over him while the lower jets sent their needles of pressurized water beating against him, massaging the tiredness out of his body. Tilting his head back, he smoothed his hair away from his ears and stretched a hand out for the container of soap.
At the same moment he realized it wasn't there, he sensed someone else in the room. Pulling his head away from the stream of water, he reached out and grabbed hold of the person, dragging them in beside him and flinging them flat against the back wall. His hand closed over the throat, claws out, his own body kept well back.
A definitely female Sholan shriek resulted, which he confirmed moments later when he'd dashed the water from his face with his free arm.
"Sashti! What the hell d'you think you're doing, creeping up on me like this?" he demanded, letting her go. "That's a good way to get yourself hurt!"
Sashti stood there, the water cascading over her shoulders turning her fur black. The bushy mane of hair was flattened now, clinging in long, wet strands to her face and shoulders, and she was laughing.
"I was going to offer to join you anyway," she said, one hand going to massage her neck, the other to push her hair aside so she could see him properly. "You've just made it more difficult for you to refuse now."
Kaid spotted the container of soap lying on the floor and stepped out of the shower to pick it up. "You're welcome to join me," he said, "but don't come in unannounced like that again. If it had been anywhere but here, where I know the security is tight, you might have found yourself getting hurt. Old habits die hard, Sashti, and I'm Warrior trained."
"I'll remember," she said, holding out her hand to him. "Give me the soap and I'll wash you first."
He handed her the container reluctantly. It had been a long time since he'd shared a shower.
"Turn round," she said, and as he did so, she began rubbing the soap into his back. "How's Carrie coming along?" she asked. "She seems a lot more mobile than I've seen her since the Challenge."
"She's doing fine," said Kaid. "The scars are healing without tightening the skin. I think you'll have to look really hard to find a scar in a few months' time."
"That's good. Without fur, a scar that would be invisible for us would show up quite badly against her bare skin."
He was beginning to feel uncomfortable under Sashti's ministrations. What should by rights have been a sisterly wash was beginning to turn into more as her touch across his shoulders and arms became lighter.
"You must work out every day to keep yourself in such good shape," she said, her voice sounding quietly in his ear as he felt her body touch his.
"I do," he said.
"I thought so." It was almost a purr as she stroked her hand across the back of his neck then turned him round to face her. "I've wanted to get to know you better." The soap container was forgotten as she ran her hands across his chest, down to his hips. "We've got a little time to ourselves now," she said, looking up at him. "No one else is coming for a shower before third meal."
He looked down into her brown eyes, trying not to see someone other than Sashti. She was beautiful, there was no doubt about that, and with a personality to match. Maybe Garras and Ghyan were right. Maybe she was what he needed, someone of his own age, not a skittish youngling. She was here, and she was asking for him.
He reached out for her, putting his hand behind her head and drawing her closer with his other arm. Her body pressed against his was warm, and as he laid his face against hers, her mouth closed on his cheek, nipping him gently.
His fingers clenched in her hair, and as he pulled her face away so he could reach her, he felt the first stirrings of desire. Leaning back against the shower wall, he drew her with him, his mouth reaching for hers, his teeth catching hold of her lip. As he moved on, alternately licking her cheek and nipping it gently, her hands began to slide lower. He could hear his heartbeat echoing inside his head, getting faster, more urgent. Then like a sudden deluge of cold water, he felt it begin to start again.
Pushing her away, he backed out of the shower, water dripping everywhere. "No," he said, his voice calmer than he felt. "I can't. I'm sorry, Sashti, it isn't you. It's me. I can't."
He turned, and grabbing his towel from the bench, bolted for the door to the massage room.
Hurriedly he wiped off the worst of the water before leaving, still rubbing himself dry as he went. In the privacy of his room, he leaned against the door, letting himself slide down it till he sat on the floor, his eyes closed.
Nothing had changed. He'd felt his control slip, but this time he'd recognized it for what it was, and thank the Gods, had been able to stop in time. Lifting his head, he took a deep breath, trying to control his heartbeat, slow it down to its normal rate. Now he knew for sure he could never be their third, could never pair with Carrie. He couldn't bear to see written on her face what he'd seen on Khemu's all those years ago, and for his own sake, too, he couldn't risk losing control. Another deep breath, then another, and he was ready to repeat the litanies that were his mainstay.

* * *

Vanna found her sister sitting in her lounge when she returned to the Aldatan household. "Hello there. Kusac said you were here," she said, going over to her and giving her a hug. "Are you staying tonight?"
"No, I don't think I will," said Sashti, returning the hug. "I want to get back. I saw Carrie and had a nice chat with her, and with Kusac." She leaned down and reached into her bag. "Here you are, the oil I promised you," she said. "Don't let Garras overuse it on you," she grinned, flicking her little sister's ears as she got up and moved toward the door. "I only waited to give you this and say good-bye."
"Thank you, Sashti," said Vanna, walking her to the door. "I wish you were staying."
"Next time," Sashti promised.
"I don't suppose you've seen Kaid, have you. I need to have a word with him?"
"Not recently," said Sashti, turning away from her. "I think I saw him heading for his room earlier. I'll see you next week, Vanna."
"Bye, Sashti." Vanna shut the door behind her, a slight frown on her face. She was concealing something, but what? She shrugged. It obviously wasn't important or she'd have told her.
She changed out of her work clothes, putting on something more casual, then headed downstairs to Kaid's room.
He took longer than usual to answer her knock.
"Could I come in a moment, Kaid? I need to have a word with you."
He hesitated, then opened the door. "Come in. I've been expecting you."
"We've just finished running DNA tests on our group here," she said carefully.
He turned away from her. "You know about Dzaka."
"I'm sorry, Kaid. It wasn't our intention to pry into your private life," she said sympathetically, aware of the slow movement of his tail tip. "I came to tell you that we've erased all the data pertaining to you. We'll rerun our original program again tomorrow and use that as our final result."
She saw his ears dip in thanks. "Who else knows?"
"Only myself and Jack. Not even Brynne will be able to find out."
He turned round to look at her again, reaching out to pick up an unopened pack of stim-twigs from his desk. Meticulously, he opened it, taking one out and putting the pack back down on his desk. "Dzaka doesn't know, and I want it kept that way." He put the end of the twig in his mouth.
"Of course, but I think you should tell Kusac. He ought to know about your true relationship."
"Why? What difference does it make to him that I'm Dzaka's biological father?"
"It could be relevant later."
"If he needs to know, I'll tell him, Vanna," he said, taking the twig out again.
"How did it happen, Kaid? How did you become his foster-father?"
"It happened just as I told Kusac. Garras and I found Dzaka abandoned in the dead of winter, outside Stronghold's gates. I knew the moment I picked him up that he was mine. Say it was blood calling to blood if you like, but I knew."
"Why? Why was he left there? What happened to his mother?" She found it beyond understanding. "To leave him there like that, how could she? He could have died!"
Her words hung in the air unanswered, then she realized that had been the intention. Kaid returned the stick to his mouth. "I'm sorry, Vanna, but that's my business, not yours."
"I shouldn't have asked," she murmured, still shocked at what had happened to Dzaka as a cub.
"I asked myself that for years, till I found the answer," he said quietly. "I think we should go in for third meal, don't you? Otherwise your worthy mate will start regarding me with suspicion."
She grunted derisively as she turned to leave.

* * *

After their meal was over, as everyone was drifting off either to the lounge or their rooms, Kaid felt a light touch on his shoulder. He turned round to see Kusac standing beside him.
"I need to talk to you, Kaid," he said. "Not here, though. Will you come to The Limping Jegget with me?"
"When?"
"Now. Carrie wants to rest so I've told her we're going out for an hour or two."
As they walked from the parking area outside Valsgarth into the town, Kusac could feel Kaid glancing at him out of the corner of his eye.
"What is it?" he asked, turning to look at him.
"I never put you down as the sort who'd go out in the evening for a drink," said Kaid.
Kusac grinned, a human grin, showing his teeth. "I do a lot of things now that I never did before. And do you know what? Life is sweeter for it!"
Kaid laughed. "I know what you mean."
They'd come in by the clothing quarter, and as they walked along the busy sidewalks, the color and noise of the night began to wash over them.
Most of the stores were still open, their doorways spilling golden light onto their path as they threaded their way among the late shoppers and the early evening revelers.
"Doesn't the noise get to you?" said Kaid curiously.
Kusac shook his head. "No, not really. I was trained to block it out as a cub. I had to," he said, stepping off the curb to make way for a group of Touibans who skittered by them trilling in their high-pitched voices. "My Talent started early and was strong even then."
Kaid reached out to pull him back onto the sidewalk as a Chemerian powered chair rushed past.
"Thanks. It's busy tonight."
"A bit," said Kaid. "There's a performance by the storyteller, Kaerdhu. That's probably attracting people into the town."
"Isn't he the one who started the new technique of using a group of people on stage with him to portray the story he's telling?"
"That's the one," said Kaid, as they turned into the entrance of the inn. "Seems to be catching on with his audiences. Apparently he's booked in at the Governor's Palace later this year. A charity performance to raise money for those left Clanless after the destruction of Szurtha and Khyaal."
"When? I'd like to take Carrie."
Kaid shouldered his way through the throng of people standing by the bar until he came to the back room— the less crowded area.
"Sometime in the next two months," he said, finally able to turn round. "I'll find out for you if you like. I would quite like to go myself. I've heard a lot about Kaerdhu but never seen him."
They went up to the counter, waiting for one of the harassed bar staff to serve them.
"Why don't we get a group together?" suggested Kusac. "I'm sure Vanna would enjoy it, and Garras. Jack would probably be interested as well."
"I'll contact the Entertainment Guild office tomorrow," said Kaid.
Finally, holding their drinks, they headed over to an empty booth. Once settled, Kusac made some more small talk until they were onto their second drink.
"When you were in the Brotherhood, you were a qualified lay-priest, weren't you?" he asked, idly playing with his glass.
Kaid looked surprised. "Yes, I was. We all did some time at Vartra's Retreat with the Head Priest, but I spent several tours as a lay-brother. Why?"
"You're our main bodyguard, Kaid. You need to know where we are and what we're doing," he said, keeping his eyes on his hands. "Under the old rules of En'Shalla, as you're a qualified lay-priest, I can tell you what I intend to do and ask you to be a witness to that intent."
"You're talking in riddles, Kusac," said Kaid. "What old rules are you talking about, and what're you planning to do?"
"Even though you're no longer a Brother, under the old rules governing the Priesthood of Vartra, you remain a lay-priest unless dismissed by the Head Priest of your Order. Were you dismissed by Lijou when you left the Brotherhood?" asked Kusac, looking up at him.
"Lijou had only just been appointed Head Priest then," said Kaid, pulling his stim-twig out of his pocket and beginning to chew the end thoughtfully. "No, I wasn't. What's this all leading up to? I might still have my lay-priest status, but..."
"Nothing else matters," said Kusac firmly. "If I tell you of my intention to follow one of the En'Shalla rituals, then you're a witness to the fact I intend to do it."
"Intent doesn't prove anything."
"In three days we have the All Guilds Council meeting. The day after tomorrow is our Link day," said Kusac. "Tomorrow I intend to take Carrie on an En'Shalla retreat for two days. I'll tell you where so you can satisfy your protective urges by keeping an eye on the area, but I want us left alone. I want you to confirm that we did go on retreat and remained there for two days. Will you do that for me?"
"Yes, but ..."
Kusac interrupted him again, locking eyes with him. "Carrie's fertile again, Kaid, for the first time since we lost our cub. She'll conceive on our Link day if we don't do it now. Neither of us wants to go through what happened last time. I swore then our next cub would be conceived when we chose, and would be an En'Shalla child."
Kaid nodded slowly, his eyes still held by Kusac's.
"Everything's been done the way the ritual is laid down." He broke the eye contact and grinned. "Collecting all that sweet-grass without coming home smelling of it was a job in itself!"
Kaid gave a faint grin. "I can imagine."
"So, now I've told you my intent, and as you'll be guarding the area, you can be a witness that we were in fact there for two days. That's all that's required under the old laws."
"Of course I'll be a witness to that, but why me, Kusac? Why not Ghyan? He's not only a priest but your friend."
"I'm telling you because we want you with us as our third when we walk the Fire Margins."
He watched Kaid's eyes widen with shock.
"I want you, but more importantly, so does Carrie," he said. "It's our choice. I don't care what anyone else has said about it, none of that mattered when we made our decision, least of all who had the favorite odds." He gave a half grin.
"You knew about that?"
"Of course we did! Will you do it for us?"
He looked away. "I can't, Kusac, and I can't tell you why."
"I don't care why you think you can't do it. I'm having to place our lives in the hands of a God I don't quite believe in. I want a male I can trust implicitly with us. I want ... We want you."
"You don't understand ..."
"I don't
need
to understand!" he said forcefully, reaching out to cover Kaid's hand with his. "You and Carrie have a rapport of some kind, I know that, I can feel it. Trust it, Kaid, as we trust you. I don't know why you say you can't, but surely you can work it out between now and when we decide to go."
"When's that?"
Kusac shrugged. "When the God tells us," he said with a wry smile. "Will you come?"
The silence lengthened until Kaid's hand began to move underneath his, turning over so it clasped his. "I'll go if the God calls me. I can't say fairer than that."
Kusac's hand tightened briefly round Kaid's before he let him go. "Thank you, Kaid. Now I know you'll be with us."
"I didn't promise!"
"Trust your God, Kaid, that's what you told me. He's got work for you, for us. Changing our world, you said. Did you really think He'd leave you out of the center of the picture?"
"No, I have to admit I didn't."