The Zombie Plagues Dead Road: The Collected books. (81 page)

“
She was alone for a
period... Don't know how she survived. She never told anyone,
anyway. Then one day along comes this German-Irish miner. He
marries her and brings her to America. At the border he claims all
the kids as his own.”

“
Didn't go far to settle,
right to Watertown. My grandfather passed for a white man all of
his life... I met him, he was dark, but he lived as a white man.
None of the other kids, at least in my generation, had even met my
Great-Grandmother and Grandfather. I was it, and I only got to meet
them because I was the oldest. They were old and used up by life
then. My Great-Grandmother had no English, or if she did the few
times I met her I never heard it. Maybe that made an even stronger
impression on me. I remembered them. Still do.”

“
A few years back one of my
sister's kids hurt himself and ended up having surgery, after that
they had a little surprise. The blood work showed certain traits,
he had some scaring that was unusual. The family was shocked. Maybe
past shocked, but not me. I went out and saw my Grandpa just before
he died. He told me all of it. We had a really long talk.. He
wished he could go back. Live real, who he really was, I mean, and
he was ashamed he hadn't, but there's so much hate in the world.
Look at the way it is.”

“
I didn't look down on him
for it. I never walked in his shoes, but I saw the way the world
could be, same as we all do. This crap back there... That's hate
too. A different kind, but it's still hate. Look at the shit we do
to each other, Ronnie.”

Ronnie nodded his head and then turned
from studying the road.

“
We're so lucky to have
what we have, and, for real, I'm not coming back out here,” Mike
continued. “I have Candace. I have you, Patty. I'm even starting to
get along good with Tom. I respect the hell out of Bob and the
stuff he has in his head,” he paused and watched the
road.

“
Yeah. I don't know how he
knows so much, but we're lucky to have him... And Tim... Kid's a
frickin' genius,” Ronnie said.

“
Yeah, but look at you.
Look at what you've taught David, and Patty too. No way would we
have built all that we have without you. Not shining you on, just
being real. It's like we have so many talented people, and they're
all so open minded. And it works...
Is
working
... Makes me wonder if it could have
worked this good in the old world if we had just tried.”

“
Thought the same thing,”
Ronnie said. “You know, I don't talk much, you and Patty.
Candace... Other than that...” He shrugged. “But I pay attention.
Skin color? Always matters. Nowhere in my life in the old world was
there a place where it didn't matter. With my own people, family,
it was pride. Wear your skin with pride... To most white men? It
meant inferior. It just did. Maybe it was better hidden than it was
in the old days... My father's days, but it was there just the
same. And I'm not trying to make it one way. I would find myself
looking at a white man and judging him in a certain way. It's the
way hate keeps growing.”

“
Where I am now? Color
really doesn't matter. It isn't an issue. I don't mean that it's
not an issue on the surface, it's just not an issue at all. I know.
I don't talk much, but I watch everything. I pay attention. All the
shit's gone, Mike. And we can make it gone for good. We don't have
to let it back in. Those other guys? The military guys?”

Mike nodded.

“
First time in months that
I felt someone looking at me as though I was inferior,” Ronnie
said.

“
Yeah. Me too. They were
not coming to our world, Ronnie. No way,” Mike said. “No way at
all.”

“
I knew that too, Mike. I
know you. I knew as soon as they opened their mouths and started
spouting that shit, that they were done. Like Bear the other day...
I like him... But that isolating shit... That division had to get
nipped in the bud, because if he stayed that way I wouldn't be able
to like him.”

“
I like him... I thought at
first you jumped a little hard, but then he pretty much admitted
it... Can't second guess yourself. You called it... It was what it
was, and he put it away.” Mike shrugged. “Let's hope he really put
it away... It seems like he did,.”

“
I think he did,” Ronnie
said. “I think he was afraid... Big guy like that... Gets afraid
same as we do, same as anybody.”

“
You get afraid,” Mike
asked.

“
Asshole,” Ronnie laughed.
“Listen, I'm with you, Mike: Once I'm back I can't see a reason to
come back out here. I can't see anything that could bring me back.
They say, never say never, but... I'm saying I can't see it, ever,”
Ronnie finished.

“
Well, hey, listen I wanted
to say... ... I'm sorry about the baby... I know that hurt you...
But I couldn't let you fall down too... Patty... The baby the two
of you have...” He trailed off.

“
Negative perspiration...
It's all good.” He sighed. “I just don't get it, and I was going
there and you grabbed me... That's what a friend does. Same with
Chloe. She was going there too, and that girl's been through too
much. Way too much,” Ronnie said. “Anyway, I appreciate the reality
check.”

Mike nodded. “I don't think any of us
will get it,” he said after a moments thought. They drove along in
comfortable silence, following what was left of the
road.

The Nation

When the morning came there were three,
John, the smaller of the two men had not made it to see the dawn.
The remaining three, Craig, Roberta and Bonnie were holding their
own. Sleeping deeply

Sandy sat outside in the predawn
coolness, her back resting against the stone wall they had built to
close off the deeper recesses of the caves from the outside. She
waited for the sun to lift over the top of the southern
mountains.

All the women were outside with her.
Sipping coffee. Talking in quiet tones. Both dogs lay sprawled out
on the cool rock, sleeping deeply themselves. The Dog's paws
twitched occasionally and he whined. Angels paws twitched right
after and she woofed deep in her throat.

Candace laughed quietly. “It's like
they're dreaming the same dream.”

Patty watched for a few moments and
then chuckled. “It is like that, isn't it?”

“
Like they're running
through a field somewhere, in some other world, or some other
place. The sun is shining, the rabbits are running and the water
bowl's always full,” Candace joked.

“
I had an aunt who always
said she believed that dreams were real. Just as real as this life.
Just a different type of reality... Or the dreams were life and
this was a different type of reality... Depending on your point of
view,” Patty said.

“
I believe in something, I
just don't know what you would call it,” Candace said. “See,” she
said holding her arm out. A deep blue tribal tattoo started at her
wrist and sleeved her arm, rose over her shoulders and spilled
across the tops of her breasts. The rest wasn't on view, but Patty
knew it continued downward across her stomach and
beyond.

“
I like it,” Patty said. “I
like it a lot, it looks so good on you, but it had to hurt like
crazy...
Didn't it,”
Patty asked.

“
No, Pats. Not the Tat,
what's under the Tat.” She held her arm out further.

Patty looked closer. Candace rotated
her arm and suddenly Patty saw it clearly. There were dozens of
thin spidery lines of scaring that radiated out from her wrist,
wound around her arm and spiraled upward.

She caught her breath. “That looks
pretty bad, Candy... What was it?”

Sandy, Janet, Susan, Annie and Lilly
were all paying attention as well. Sandy leaned closer and traced
one of the lines across Candace's wrist and up the under side of
her arm before it died away. “Was it deep,” Sandy whispered, and
before Candace answered, “What was it?”

“
Yes. It was deep. I
tripped and fell into a plate glass window. I was little. I put my
hands out as I was falling. Only this hand got there in front of me
before I hit the glass.” She sighed. “It did stop my head and my
neck from going through the glass. It was close though.”

“
It could have killed you..
Cutting there, if it was really deep,” Sandy said.

“
It did,” Candace said.
“Deader than a door-nail, as my Uncle Ike used to say.” She nodded
at the shocked looks. “They, my parents, got me to the hospital,
but I'd lost too much blood, but once they got the blood in me my
heart started right back up with just a few compressions. C.P.R.,
No shock, and not much C.P.R. either. The rhythm was good. Freaked
out everybody.” She paused. “I know... I know because I watched the
whole thing. I watched them load me in the ambulance. I watched
them drive me to the hospital. I watched them rush me down the
corridor to surgery, cutting off my clothes as they went. My mother
running alongside trying to keep up... Hysterical. I saw it all,”
Candace said.

“
Wow,” Lilly said after a
short silence.

“
So what did you see, Dear.
I mean, what else was there? What happened,” Janet
asked.

“
It was weird. I was
watching myself from above. God, or whoever, the big boss, was
behind me. I couldn't see her, but she talked to me and I heard
everything she said. Every question I had, she answered. She told
me everything there was to know. That's the best way I know to
explain it. I wasn't worried. I wasn't sad. I didn't miss my
parents, my friends. I knew they would be right where I was
eventually.”

“
Then the nurse tricked me.
She kept talking to my body... For a few days, every time she came
in for her shift she would come in and spend time talking, touching
me, brushing my hair, stroking my arm while she held my hand in her
own. Telling me to wake up. Tapping the sides of my face. She did
it this one night, and I just opened my mouth to tell her to stop
and that was it. I was sucked right back into my body. I was so
mad. I was even madder when they didn't believe where I had gone,
but when I told them how it had been, the things I had seen them
do, the things they said, they were shocked. Mom accused the nurses
of telling me. Dad accused mom. Stupid. They just could have
accepted it: Believed it, but no one did except my Nana Pan. She
looked in my eyes and said, “I believe you, M
agomusume,” means granddaughter,” Candace explained.
“S
he believed me. Made me sit down and tell
her all of it.” Candace said.

“
How do you say it... Say
it again, Dear,” Janet said.

“
Mahgo-moo-sah-may,
Magomusume,” Candace repeated slower.

“
Magomusume,” Lilly said.
“The kids will love it.”

“
I'm sorry no one else
believed you, Candy, but it's hard to accept unless you have been
there,” Patty said.

“
Have you,” Candace
asked.

“
No. Well, not exactly. I
fell out of a tree when I was little. It knocked me out. Knocked
the breath out of me as well. My parents rushed me to the hospital,
but I didn't see what was going on, instead I went to a little
park. Some ladies were sitting around. Kids everywhere. One of the
ladies saw me, she smiled and called me over to her. I wasn't
afraid. She told me I couldn't stay, it wasn't my time, but that
she was glad I came to visit. She told me her name was Sarah and
she said she would be there the next time, when it was
my
time. I made her
promise. She did too, and then she showed me the way back. I went
right from there to waking up in the emergency room,” Patty
finished.

“
That's the same,” Lilly
said. “You left your body.”

Candace nodded agreement.

“
When I was a little girl I
was riding on the tailgate of my Uncle Ralph's pickup truck and
took a header.” Susan said. “Lucky I didn't break my neck. I did
break my collar bone and two fingers. And I was out and having
trouble breathing, I guess. I had asthma, went away when I got
older. The shock, the hay in the field we were riding through may
have bought on the attack. Whatever it was, my parents took me to
the hospital.”

“
I couldn't see anyone, but
I could hear everything they said about me, I just didn't care. I
was sitting by this stream watching all these beautiful fish
swimming by in the current. And this nun was there holding my hand.
And then she just turned to me and said, 'Susan, it's time to go,'
and that was it. I woke up,” Susan said. “I haven't told that to
anyone,” She finished shyly.

“
I've read stuff like that
too,” Candace said. “So, in other words, I believe... There is
something else. Even a God. It's all real, just a different kind of
real than here.”

“
Hey,” Craig said from the
doorway. “What's the chance of getting some of that
coffee?”

Patty patted one hand against her
chest. “Jesus. You scared the hell out of me,” She told
him.

“
Me too,” Candace said.
“We're just a bunch of pregnant ladies sitting around.”

Craig laughed. “I'm sorry,” he said.
“You know I went through something like that as a kid,” he
added.