The Wrong Man (30 page)

“Jake, I’m sorry. I was wrong. You were right. I’m afraid. Scared of….” I shook my head and bit my lip, trying to put the fear into words. They didn’t seem to come easily to me now for some reason. Maybe because it mattered, I thought ruefully. “Everything.”

“Everything?”

“What happened with Mack scared me. It felt like all the things I’m most afraid of came barreling at me all at once. Death, loneliness, losing Mack, losing you… again.” I looked out at the water’s edge before continuing. “It spiraled in my head. I saw Derek with you, and instead of stepping up and saying ‘back off, he’s mine,’ I couldn’t stop remembering that day and—It hit me like a sledgehammer. You’re mine. He lost his chance. I thought about the day I saw you kissing Kara and—”

“I didn’t kiss Derek—”

“I know. I overreacted to things beyond my control because I was scared to lose you. And Mack. Even after I talked myself off the ledge, I’d already decided we were doomed anyway.” I snorted and bit my lip. “I’m a horribly flawed, shallow man who—”

“No you aren’t. Crazy maybe but….”

I raised my eyebrows and opened my mouth to speak, but he set a finger on my mouth.

“You aren’t shallow. Liking nice things or being afraid of death, neither of those are faults. One is a personality trait and the other means you’re human. Look, I probably pushed and I shouldn’t have— We can start over.” My heart soared and then plummeted when he continued. “We can be friends. We’re good at that part.”

“I don’t want to be your friend.”

“Oh?”

“No! I want you. This. Us. I love you, asshole! Why do you think I’d risk life, limb, and another perfectly good pair of Italian loafers at the fucking beach? I love you, and
I
want a second chance.” Jake stared at me sharply. He didn’t seem to be breathing, and I didn’t know what to think. I couldn’t speak any plainer. “I’ll try to be better. I’ll try to—”

Jake cupped my neck and crushed me against him, silencing me with a punishing kiss. His mouth fused over mine in a demanding assault that left me breathless. He softened the kiss, allowing me a chance to lick at his lips in a request to deepen the connection. When he plunged his tongue inside, I groaned and threw my arms around his neck. I needed to be as physically close to him as possible.

“I don’t want better. I just want you. I love you, Bran.”

I flung myself at him, smothering him in a flurry of kisses. I couldn’t find my voice yet, but my answer was clear. Yes. A million times yes. Our journey had begun over a decade ago with broken hearts and truths left unsaid, but we’d come a long way from the hurt and uncertainty of teenage angst. Our future was bright. I could feel it. Jake Westley might not have been the one I expected, but there was no denying he was perfect for me.

What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us.
—Henry David Thoreau

T
IME
IS
a precious gift. When we’re young we believe its scope is endless. As we get older, we begin to realize this isn’t so. We have no way of knowing how much we’ll be given. Nor do we always recognize the nuances of the gift itself; the balance between enjoying life to its fullest and stopping on occasion to appreciate the wonders around us.

I’d always considered myself someone with a joie de vivre, a passion for art, beauty, and a healthy respect of the unknown. I’d been certain my fairy tale would come when the time was right. I had no way of knowing time and love were bound together for me. Jake was from my past, and I’m sure he would have remained there if it hadn’t been for Mack, an old Lab with a compassionate soul and an endless capacity for joy.

Mack is fourteen now. He’s completely blind in one eye and sees only shadows with the other. He sleeps most of the day but will happily be roused for a snack. He is painfully slow to rise, and he tires after walking half a block, but his spirit is strong. There is nothing he enjoys more than simply being with Jake and me. Whether he’s under the table waiting for a scrap of food to fall or at the foot of our bed while we sleep or make love makes no difference. When we go to the beach, we sit in the sand and watch the waves crest on the shore. Mack doesn’t chase seagulls or play in the water anymore, but he doesn’t seem to mind. He knows to enjoy the here and now and not fret about what is no longer possible.

“What should we make for dinner tonight?”

I opened my eyes and blinked furiously as the sun peeked out from behind the clouds. Jake chuckled and kissed my nose before setting my sunglasses back on my head. I must have fallen asleep in his lap. A pretty incredible feat considering a year ago, I wouldn’t set foot on the sand unless coerced. I shifted on the blanket and bent my knees as I looked up at my lover.

“What are
you
making for dinner? It’s your turn,” I reminded him.

“Mack, are you listening to this guy? He’s trying a pull a fast one. Nice try, babe. I’ll have spaghetti please. Bolognese.”

I sputtered as I struggled to sit up. “Bolognese? If you want Bol—”

Jake shut me up with a firm kiss on the lips. “Shh. I’ll help, and I’ll even make dessert.” He waggled his eyebrows lasciviously and cupped my balls through my jeans before pushing me on my back and covering my body with his.

I laughed and threw my arms around him as I returned his kiss. A sloppy swath of dog saliva had me shoving at my captor with my face scrunched in distaste.

“Yuck! Mack….”

Jake howled with laughter as Mack tilted his perked up ears inquisitively in that endearing, sweet manner I loved. I rolled my eyes and surveyed the beach as I scrambled to stand. Late afternoon in early spring meant it was nearly deserted. The way I liked it best, I thought with a smile. While it was true I came for Jake and Mack’s sake, I’d learned to appreciate the natural peace and tranquility in my own way.

“Ready to go home?” Jake stood and fastened Mack’s leash, readying him for the long walk to the car.

“Yes. I’ll get the blanket. You boys can get a head start.”

Jake kissed me again before turning his attention to the old Lab. I listened to his steady words of encouragement spoken in a loving tone as I folded the corners of the blanket and prepared to follow their slow progress.

Mack doesn’t have much time left. There is no use denying the intrinsic circle of life no matter how unbearably sad the mere thought makes me. I will cherish every moment I have with him, and I will always be grateful to the gorgeous old dog. He’s taught me to look for truth in the details and not sweat the small things. Dog slobber, wet fur, or boyfriends who leave their clothes on the floor are minor grievances. The way Jake’s eyes smile before his mouth does when I’m telling him some ridiculous story he knows is ninety percent bullshit… that’s the real thing.

Love isn’t a fairy tale. The real thing challenges you. It asks for your time, your faith, your understanding, and a fuckload of patience. When I look at our beautiful dog and the man I love more than I ever thought possible, I am humbled by the gift time has given me… a second chance. I know I’m flawed, high-maintenance, and more than a little neurotic at times, but I have an amazing life. I have a family of friends who adore me, a successful business with employees I’m honored to call friends, and a man who loves me in spite of myself. Our shared past no longer frightens me with its beautiful innocence and horrible heartache. We know to concentrate on our present and future.

The best gifts don’t come in fancy boxes tied with lush bows. The best ones come from the most improbable sources and show up when least expected to challenge your balance and your vision of right and wrong. I know because the wrong man turned out to be the right one for me.

The Right Words

A Right and Wrong Story

By Lane Hayes

Escaping an abusive relationship left Luke Preston anxious and spouting panic-induced poetry. Desperate for a fresh start, Luke accepts a job remodeling a tired old beach house for a professional soccer player and his model girlfriend. While his passion is literature, not sports, focusing on the renovations eases his anxiety. Until the job he signed up for turns out to be more complicated than advertised.

Sidelined with a serious injury, soccer star Michael Martinez
decides his beach house is the perfect place to recuperate.
Remodeling might be the diversion he needs to keep his mind off his busted knee. Falling for the pretty designer with some quirky habits wasn’t on the drawing board. Unfortunately, Luke didn’t build a big enough closet for Michael to hide in. Having a star-powered sports career used to be all Michael lived for, but he’ll have to reevaluate his plans and find the right words if he wants to build more than a beach house with Luke.

http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com

L
ANE
H
AYES
is grateful to finally be doing what she loves best. Writing full time! It’s no secret Lane loves a good romance novel. An avid reader from an early age, she has always been drawn to a well-told love story with beautifully written characters. These days she prefers the leading roles to both be men. Lane discovered the M/M genre a few years ago and was instantly hooked. Her debut novel was a 2013 Rainbow Award finalist and her third received an Honorable Mention in the 2014 Rainbow Awards. She loves red wine, chocolate, and travel (in no particular order). Lane lives in Southern California with her amazing husband and the coolest yellow Lab ever in an almost empty nest.

Contact information:

Website: http://lanehayes.wordpress.com

Twitter: @LaneHayes3

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E-mail: [email protected]