The Wrong Lawyer (3 page)

As we stood in
front of each picture, I explained where I had visited and what if anything the
photo represented. Occasionally our shoulders touched and I found that I
greatly enjoyed the physical closeness. Our hands brushed once as we
simultaneously pointed at one of the pictures.

“How come so many
of these photos are of Las Vegas? Are you a gambler?”

“I do enjoy
playing slot machines and Las Vegas is by far my favorite travel destination.
I’ve been there at least 50 times.”

“My God! What’s
the attraction?”

“Mostly it’s the
underage hookers.”

Linda shrieked in
horror and I burst out laughing. Realizing that I was joking, Linda grabbed my
arm and shook me.

“You teasing
bastard, Tom! For a moment you had me completely shocked. I can’t believe you
just said that.”

“I could blame all
the years of living alone for my strange sense of humor, but in fact I’ve
always had the knack of blurting out outrageous comments. Las Vegas is an
inexpensive spot as long as you watch your gambling and know where to find good
value. There’s no single supplement in the hotels and the air fares are
normally quite reasonable because there are so many flights heading to that
destination. I would have loved to take cruises, but they’re not designed for
solo travelers and I refuse to pay almost the same rate as a couple.”

“Why do cruises
appeal to you so much? Do you like the water?”

“No, but I like
the fact that the ship stops almost every day at a different port. I love to
sightsee and take tours.”

“What’s down that
hallway?”

“Follow me and I’ll
give you the full tour.”

I began by opening
the door to the small laundry and storage room at the far end of the hall. Next
was the bathroom, which was moderately spacious.

“Since this is a
one-bedroom condo, there’s only the one bathroom. I can’t remember if I made my
bed this morning, so don’t be too surprised if the room is a bit of a mess.”

I pushed the door
open and flipped on the light switch so that Linda could peek inside. Luckily I
had made the bed and there were no clothes lying around.

“At least there
are no young hookers locked in here waiting for you to come home from the
dance,” Linda joked.

“I never get them
on a Saturday. The little sluts charge double rates on weekends.”

Linda broke out
laughing.

“I’m actually
beginning to appreciate your weird sense of humor. Step aside, sonny. I want to
be able to tell Lynne that I was in your bedroom.”

Linda entered the
room and glanced around at the walls, which contained my law degree, my law
school graduating class picture and some more photos of various legal
milestones as well as pictures of my late parents.

“You haven’t
changed much since 1977,” Linda remarked.

“Corbett’s in
there as well,” I replied.

Linda found Jim’s
photo.

“He’s still
recognizable also. Are these your parents?”

“Yes, but they’re
deceased now.”

“Do you have any
brothers or sisters?”

“No.”

“What’s the
occasion for this picture? Are you getting some kind of award?”

“It was just some
Mickey Mouse citation having to do with exposing a real estate scam.”

“Isn’t that the
former Ontario Premier, Mike Harris, presenting it to you?”

“It is.
Politicians love to be photographed handing out awards. It gets them a ton of
free publicity.”

“What was the scam
about?”

“Realtors and
mortgage brokers back then were advising their purchaser clients to get phony
gift letters stating that the down payment had been given to them in cash. In
fact, the brokers arranged hidden side loans for the down payments. As a
result, a lot of borrowers were getting into their homes with 100 per cent
financing and most of them later lost their homes.”

“You’re quite an
interesting man, Tom Kennedy, and I’m glad Lynne dragged me out to that dance
tonight. I’d better get home now, though.”

“What time do your
parents go to bed? It’s almost one o’clock.”

“Lynne was only
yanking my chain. Our parents have probably been sleeping for at least three
hours by now.”

“That’s a relief.
I was getting worried that the poor dears might be frantic that you hadn’t
returned home.”

“Don’t take this
the wrong way, Mr. Kennedy, but I’m going to get back at Lynne.”

With that, Linda
lay down on the bed.

“Turn the light
out for a moment,” she requested.

I complied.

“Thank you, Tom.
Now I can truthfully tell my little sister that I was in your bed in the dark.”

“Perhaps it would
be more effective if you could honestly tell Lynne that you were in my bed with
me and both of us were naked.”

Linda shrieked
again and moaned, “You men are impossible.”

I put the light
back on and was pleased to see that Linda was amused rather than disgusted with
my improper suggestion.

She got up and
wagged her finger at me.

“You’re definitely
a very naughty boy but you’re great company.”

“I hope you mean
that, Linda. Next Saturday is the one year anniversary of the beginning of my
retirement. By any chance can I persuade you to accompany me out for dinner to
celebrate that sad occasion?”

“Yes, Tom, that
would be delightful.”

I walked Linda to
her car and made sure that she was safely on her way before I came back inside.

My heart was
fluttering with anticipation.

As they said goodnight
to Kennedy and Linda, Jim Corbett poured another Courvoisier for Lynne and
himself.

Sitting back down
on the sofa, Lynne remarked that she was surprised that her sister had
consented to come up to Jim’s apartment.

“Why is that?” Jim
asked curiously.

“Linda’s husband
died four months ago and tonight was the first time anyone has been able to coerce
her into going out to a social event.”

“She seemed to be
having a good time,” Jim responded. “Tom is a really nice guy if you can look
past his aggravating cheapness. Do you think your sister might go out with Tom
on a date if he asked her?”

“There’s no way. Our
parents have convinced Linda that she should remain nun-like for at least a
year or two, as crazy as that sounds.”

“How did her
husband die?”

“The usual; he
suffered a massive heart attack while working at his office on a Sunday
afternoon. Paul was a workaholic and didn’t take very good care of himself. He
drank too much, was overweight and never exercised. That combination killed him
at age 56.”

“The work part I
understand,” Jim said. “I confess to being an extremely dedicated worker
myself. What type of work did Paul do?”

“He ran a small
private investigative business.”

“Was he
successful?”

“I guess so. Linda
admitted that with the life insurance and their accumulated savings, she didn’t
really have to work again if she didn’t want to. Linda was a teacher for a long
time and then quit that to help Paul with his business.”

“You haven’t told
me much about yourself, Lynne. Have you ever been married?”

“I got hitched just
once, for eight reasonably horrible years back when I was in my thirties and
lived in Toronto. Luckily I had no kids. Since then I’ve enjoyed my personal
freedom. How about you?”

“My one and only
marriage lasted fifteen years and I’ve been on my own for the past fifteen.
Like you, I never had children, an accomplishment for which I’m eternally
grateful.”

Lynne laughed.

“Precisely the way
I feel about kids. Linda has one son and he’s given her nothing but trouble
since he dropped out of high school. At the moment Jeremy is shacked up with a
drug addict in a slummy apartment in Ottawa. He’s always hitting Linda up for
money and she invariably warns him that it will be the very last gift, but then
she relents and opens her purse over and over again. It’s never-ending.”

“You mentioned
that you worked somewhere. Tell me a bit about that.”

“I teach criminology
part-time now at Queen’s. I’ve got my doctorate in Sociology so like to get
some use out of it. My ex-husband was filthy rich so I got set up financially
for life when we split. I don’t need the job but it’s nice to feel productive.”

“How long have you
lived in Kingston?”

“I grew up here
but stayed in Toronto to teach after I completed my education. I only moved
back to Kingston this past April when the position at Queen’s came up. Mom and
Dad were getting older and more frail so I decided to move back to my home
town. I live in an apartment just across the street from their house and within
easy walking distance from Queen’s.”

“How do you like
being back in Kingston?”

“It’s pretty
boring here. That’s why I dragged Linda to the dance tonight. I was antsy to do
something different. By the way, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you
ever since Tom introduced you. Are you the James Corbett who was involved with
the ‘Serial Killer Lawyer’ case that was in the news so much this summer?”

“No, that’s
another Jim Corbett who practiced in Belleville. I’ve met him a few times at
various conventions. He’s several years older than me. Speaking of that case, Tom
Kennedy has actually met Grant Laviolette, the poor guy who was charged with
killing those women in the USA. Both Tom and I followed that case closely. It
was quite fascinating.”

“There’s a book coming
out about it already,” Lynne mentioned. “It’s called ‘THE TWIN SHADOWS’ and I’m
going to buy it as soon as I see it available in a store.”

“I’ll certainly
pick up a copy myself. Over the years Tom had several real estate deals with
Grant Laviolette and said that he was a really nice guy. We were both thrilled
when he managed to exonerate himself and located the real killers. It was an
incredible story.”

Jim and Lynne
talked for another three hours before she finally looked in horror at her
watch.

“My God, Jim, it’s
almost three o’clock. I’ve talked your ear off.”

“It’s been
enthralling chatting with you, Lynne. Can I interest you in dining out with me
some time this next week?”

“That would be lovely,
Jim.”

They settled on
Tuesday night since Lynne had no classes to teach on Wednesdays.

Lynne called a cab
and Jim waited in the foyer until the taxi arrived.

They kissed
briefly and said goodnight.

Jim’s heart was
racing as he rode the elevator back up. What a lovely and interesting woman!

My telephone
roused me from a deep sleep. As I reached for it, the bedside clock revealed
that it was not quite nine o’clock. What an annoying way to begin a Sunday
morning!

“Hello,” I mumbled
sleepily.

“Get your lazy ass
up, Kennedy and let’s go out for breakfast. I’ll be down to pick you up in
fifteen minutes.”

Corbett didn’t
even give me the chance to tell him off as the line immediately went dead.

I hauled myself up
and showered quickly.

No doubt he wanted
to brag about scoring last night. I was tempted to reveal that Linda had been on
my bed but concluded that it would be childish to divulge that tidbit,
especially given the fact that she had only done it to avoid any teasing from
Lynne.

Corbett was more
animated than I’d seen him in years.

“Lynne has her
doctorate and teaches criminology,” he gushed. “As difficult as it will be for
you to believe, she might actually be smarter than I am.”

“My left penis is
smarter than you,” I quipped.

Corbett looked at
me as if I were insane. I like to throw him off his game with unfathomable
remarks.

“No, I’m serious,”
he continued. “She stayed until almost three in the morning and we talked about
anything and everything. Lynne’s a quality woman.”

“For once I don’t disagree
with you. Despite my initial misgivings, last night was a great surprise. I found
Linda very easy to talk to as well.”

“I’m taking Lynne
out for dinner on Tuesday,” Jim boasted. “This could actually be the start of
something magnificent.”

“Congratulations,
Jim; I’m really glad for you. It was readily apparent that you and Lynne share
the same love of obscene opulence.”

“It’s called decorating
one’s home tastefully, Kennedy. Your shameful apartment screams that you have a
hopeless addiction to tacky yard sales. Besides, you’re just jealous because I’m
seeing Lynne again and Linda gave you the loser brush-off.”

Jim must have felt
that he twisted the knife a bit too vigorously, because he immediately
backtracked.

“It’s not your
fault, Tom. Lynne said that her sister wouldn’t go out with you because she has
some strange notion that a proper period of grievance is at least a year or
two. She didn’t reject you just because you’re an infuriating cheapskate,
although I expect that suit you were wearing clued her into your insane thrift
as soon as the light illuminated the worn spots.”

“In actual fact
Linda did consent to go out for dinner with me next Saturday. I suppose it’s
possible that she’ll have second thoughts and cancel, but for the moment I’m
quite excited about seeing her again. Perhaps Lynne isn’t the world’s next
Einstein after all.”

“That is
interesting. Lynne was positive that there was no chance of your scoring a date
with Linda.”

“That brings up an
interesting speculation,” I replied. “If everything went swimmingly and we
wound up marrying these sisters, does that mean that you and I would be
relatives?”

“Now there’s a
revolting thought,” Corbett sneered. “It’s enough to make me puke up my
breakfast.”

“I definitely
agree. Having you as my brother-in-law would readily convince me that I’d died
and had been shunted down to Hell.”

“Thankfully,
there’s no realistic chance of that happening. Linda will dump you as soon as
she gets a load of either your car or your apartment. Where do you plan on
taking her for dinner, McDonald’s?”

“No, that would be
too fancy. I was thinking of the food court at the Cataraqui Mall. That way
each of us can choose whatever type of fast food we feel like.”

“You can’t be
serious,” Corbett exclaimed with his jaw hanging down to his waist.

I immediately
changed the subject and we shared whatever information we had gleaned last
night about the other’s love interest.

Corbett and I both
acted like excited teenagers during the entire breakfast.