The Wrong Lawyer (2 page)

At that moment the
loud speakers began blaring out an incomprehensible and irritating rap song.
Conversation was impossible. I had been enjoying my chat with Linda and let out
a big sigh which nobody heard.

I glanced over at
Corbett. Lynne was yelling something into his ear and he nodded in
acquiescence. Then Lynne leaned over to Linda and yelled, “We’re all going over
to Jim’s condo.”

The four of us
stood up and made our way out of the ballroom.

“We arrived in a
cab,” Jim explained. “How did you girls get here?”

“We came in my
car,” Linda replied. “Where do you live?”

“Just a few blocks
away on Ontario Street,” Jim answered.

It was obvious to
me that Linda was uncomfortable heading off to a man’s apartment but Jim and
Lynne had by now rushed on ahead of us toward the hotel’s parking garage.

“Are you okay with
this, Linda? Our companions didn’t bother to consult with us.”

“I’m not entirely
sure what to think, Tom. In a way I feel like I’m betraying Paul.”

“I understand
completely. I suppose one alternative would be just to drop the three of us off
and you could drive home yourself. Lynne could go home in a cab later.”

“If I did that,
would you go up to Jim’s place with them?”

“I don’t think so.
I get the distinct impression that they don’t want a third wheel hanging
around.”

“Where do you
live?”

“I live in the
same building as Jim.”

“Do you share an
apartment?”

“No, we’ve each
got our own units. Jim’s is a huge suite up on the penthouse level and I’m in a
one-bedroom unit down on the second floor. As you’ve probably already noticed,
Corbett and I are completely different. He’s quite ostentatious and charismatic
whereas I’m very frugal and a bit shy. Anyone who knows both of us can’t
believe how we’ve stayed friends for so long.”

“I hear you, Tom.
If Lynne and I weren’t sisters, we would probably loathe each other. She’s the
glamorous outgoing one and I’m the quiet also-ran. It’s been like that ever
since we were kids. I’m a year older but could never compete with Lynne. She
was always the better athlete, got higher marks and drove all the boys crazy.”

Linda looked up at
me and smiled.

“That settles it.
Let’s join them and rain on their parade. They won’t be able to work their
magic on each other with two wet-blankets getting in the way.”

I sat in the front
seat with Linda.

“This is my
sister’s old rust bucket,” Lynne teased. “I wanted to come in my SUV but since
Linda is the designated driver tonight, she insisted on driving her own car.”

“What year is the
car, Linda?” I asked.

“It’s a 2004 but
the little peach has only logged 71,000 miles and still runs great.”

“I understand
completely. My car is a 2002 Chevy Cavalier and it’s just on the cusp of
hitting 65,000 miles. I’m keeping it until it conks out.”

Corbett couldn’t
resist the temptation to belittle my beloved little beauty.

“Tell us about the
lack of air conditioning or the windows that have to be cranked down, Kennedy.
I lose more in depreciation on each of my own vehicles every year than Kennedy
paid for his shit-box when it was brand new.”

Lynne laughed so
hard that I was afraid she was going to pee in her designer dress.

Linda glanced over
at me, smiled and rolled her eyes in sympathy.

I directed Linda
to one of the visitor spots and we entered the main foyer of our building. It
was an impressive condominium complex. Originally there was a 24-hour doorman,
but the owners had voted to dispose of that luxury a few years back when the
world economy seemed to be on the brink of collapse.

Linda nudged me in
the ribs on the elevator ride up to the penthouse. When I looked down at her
she indicated that I should look at her sister.

Lynne had wrapped
her arm through Corbett’s and was crowding him like some lovesick teenager.
They were lost in a private conversation.

I whispered to
Linda. “Wait until your sister sees Corbett’s suite. She may have an instant
orgasm.”

Linda blushed and
whispered back, “You’re naughty.”

Jim certainly was
blessed with the gift of showmanship.

The apartment was
in darkness as we stepped inside and suddenly Corbett flipped all the switches
simultaneously, bathing the foyer and huge living-room in dazzling light.

Lynne actually
gasped.

All I saw was a
colossal waste of money squandered on tacky symbols of opulence. Linda didn’t
seem particularly impressed, but Lynne acted as if she had just stepped through
the gates of Heaven.

“Oh, Jim, this is
glorious. I can’t wait to see the rest of the unit.”

Corbett wasn’t
finished with his dog and pony show.

He pressed a
button on the wall and the drapes automatically opened on both the south and
east windows.

He switched off
the lights and the city of Kingston was spread out before us. It wasn’t Las
Vegas or Paris, but I had to admit it was still a very impressive night-time
display.

When the lights
came back on, Jim asked what everyone wanted to drink.

Lynne opted to
join Jim in savoring a snifter of Courvoisier.

Linda just wanted
coffee and I decided to have the same.

“Tom, why don’t
you put on a pot of coffee while I show the ladies the rest of my humble abode
and prepare our liqueurs?”

“I’ll stay out
here and keep Tom company while you show Lynne around,” Linda insisted.

Jim and Lynne
sauntered off arm in arm on the grand tour.

“It is a beautiful
apartment,” Linda acknowledged.

“Corbett earned
it,” I replied. “He worked crushing hours for decades and he seems to need
visible signs of his success all around him.”

“What about you?”
Linda asked.

“I’m just wired
differently. I was also quite successful financially and worked fairly hard,
but my frugal upbringing has stuck with me. It hurts me to spend money
unnecessarily.”

“I’m probably
somewhere in between,” Linda opined. “I don’t mind spending money on something
I really like, but the obvious display of wealth in here makes me uncomfortable
rather than envious. You may be right about Lynne soiling her dress. This is
precisely up her alley.”

We made small talk
while the coffee was percolating and then we carried our cups into the
living-room and sat side-by-side on one of the large sofas.

“Have you been
married?” Linda asked.

“Yes, for 15
years, but I’ve been on my own for the past 15 years.”

“What about Jim?”

“Our marital
histories are almost identical, give or take a few months. How long were you
married?”

“Paul and I were
together for 31 years. Do you or Jim have any children?”

“Neither of us
ever had kids. How about you?”

“I’ve got a son
who is 29. Jeremy lives in Ottawa with his current girlfriend.”

“Now that you’re
living in Kingston, are you planning on getting a job somewhere?”

“The jury’s still
out on that issue. Since Paul died I’ve been busy settling the estate and
selling our house. For the time being I’m living back home with my parents. It
seemed sensible to live in Kingston for a while before deciding whether to buy
or rent here. I can certainly get by without a job but I’m not yet confident
that I’m ready for a life of leisure on my own. I just turned 55 last month and
a job would certainly fill a lot of my time.”

“I retired about
six weeks after my 60
^th
birthday and I just hit 61 in July.”

“Do you like
retirement so far?”

“I can’t say that
I’m crazy about it. I don’t miss work at all, but the time does tend to drag a
bit now. I don’t play golf but I do play duplicate bridge two or three times a
week. It’s a bit disquieting to feel unproductive all the time.”

“Do you date
much?”

“Hardly at all;
it’s been a few years since I’ve even been out on a date and I haven’t had a
serious girlfriend since I got divorced. While I was working, I never really
had the time to develop a relationship. Running the business was extremely
time-consuming and I was never good at delegating responsibility. Now that I’m
retired, I have felt lonely at times.”

“What about Jim?”

“He was regularly
getting hit on after his marriage broke up, so Jim was dating a lot for quite a
while after his divorce. For the past few years I guess we’ve both been remiss
in that department. It was unprecedented for us to attend that dance tonight. I
assume that Lynne is seldom without a boyfriend.”

“My sister has
loads of opportunities to meet new men, but she generally dumps most guys after
a date or two. It’s been several years since she’s had a serious relationship.
So far she hasn’t thought much of the quality of the men she’s met in Kingston.”

“I assume that you
haven’t dated yet.”

“Oh, no; in fact,
this is the first night that I’ve gone out any place where I might even meet a
man.”

“How does it feel
so far chatting with a stranger?”

“Actually it feels
darn good. It must be just like riding a bicycle. Do you enjoy getting grilled
by an inquisitive woman or do you wish I’d just shut up and leave?”

I chuckled.

“I’m having a
great time, which is truly surprising. When Corbett insisted on dragging me off
to that dance, I was complaining bitterly that it was going to be dreadful.”

“I said almost the
identical thing to Lynne. Speaking of my sister, I wonder what those two are up
to.”

“Corbett is
probably pointing out every expensive item in every single room and bragging
about where and when he acquired each precious treasure.”

As if on cue, Jim
and Lynne appeared from the hallway, drinks in hand, and sat down across from
us.

“You missed a
breathtaking tour, Linda. Every room is magnificent. In fact, I’m sticking
around for the late tour, so I won’t need you to drive me home. I know how
badly you want to get back to Mom and Dad’s place before they go to bed.”

Linda seemed
startled by this unexpected development but gracefully stood up and said, “I
guess that’s our hint that our presence is no longer required, Tom. Can I
impose on you to walk me to my car? Thanks for having us over, Jim. It is a
beautiful suite. Don’t let my sister corrupt you too badly.”

We said goodnight
to Jim and Lynne and departed. I pressed the button for the elevator.

“I’m going to be unforgivably
forward, Tom, but would you mind showing me your own apartment? I’m completely
curious as to what it will look like.”

“I’ll be pleased
to show you, Linda, but you’ve got to realize that I’m a bachelor who just sees
my place as somewhere to reside. It’s extremely ordinary and I have no
imagination when it comes to design or decoration.”

We stepped off the
elevator at the second floor and I opened the door to my unit while desperately
trying to remember if I had left it in an utter mess.

In truth it was a
nice apartment. The entrance foyer and living-room were a lot smaller than
Jim’s and there was no attached dining-room in my unit, but the kitchen was
generously sized.

The vast
difference was in the décor. Jim’s walls were adorned with expensive paintings.
Mine sported numerous pictures from various holidays.

Corbett had filled
his rooms with top quality furniture and antiques. My stuff was old and worn
but comfortable.

“I obviously got
stuck with the wrong lawyer,” Linda blurted out as soon as I had switched the
light on.

I didn’t know how
to respond but Linda immediately broke out in laughter.

“I’m just teasing
you, Tom. This apartment is quite lovely,” Linda opined. “It’s almost exactly
how I pictured it would look. I take it that you like to travel.”

“That’s been my
one extravagance. I found that taking frequent vacations helped me manage the
stress at work.”

“Do you holiday
with Jim?”

“No; we tried it
once shortly after our divorces, but we’re too incompatible on a trip. He wants
to eat in the finest restaurants and see the most expensive shows, whereas I
like reasonably priced eating establishments and enjoy taking scenic tours.
Since that one joint trip, I’ve always travelled alone. Did you and Paul
holiday often?”

“Paul detested the
hassles of travel. Other than our honeymoon in Hawaii, we only took two other
trips together. His idea of a perfect vacation was staying home and doing
nothing. Lynne and I occasionally flew off somewhere but as I’m sure you
discovered this evening, we’re not well matched either.”

Linda spotted some
frayed spots on both my matching couches and bent down to examine them,
revealing her hot little bum. I chastised myself for beginning to get aroused.

“Do you have
cats?” she asked.

“You’ve got a good
eye for detail. I did have two cats here for many years but they both passed
away last year.”

“Tell me where
each of these pictures was taken.”