The Wraeththu Chronicles (123 page)

"Yes, he needs time, that's true. But anyway, we're here to talk about your situation, not Thea's. Let's just analyze what we know. Since leaving Thiede's tower, you have been plagued by dreams which lately have culminated in two very frightening experiences. You have been aware of being followed, perhaps by this shadow figure from your past . ..."

"I don't understand where Zack fits into all this," I said.

"No, neither do I. Perhaps it is to make you all the more keen to recant your past, I don't know. I think the main question you've got to ask yourself is, who is behind all this? And what is its purpose?"

"Well, that's obvious, isn't it? Pell and Thiede. The purpose; to drag me to Immanion, make life unbearable for me anywhere else."

Ferminfex shook his head. "I wouldn't be too sure of that if I were you. There is something you aren't aware of yet. The message that came over our thought transference unit was very carefully guarded; no visuals whatsoever. But there was no mistaking the fact that whoever sent it wasn't Wraeththu."

"What do you mean?"

"Just this; it was female. Must have been human, of course, but a terribly advanced human."

"Then it's obvious!" I cried, leaning forward, eager to explain. "Maybe I'm not being paranoid about feeling everyone I meet is in on this. The woman must have been Cora. She was the link in the chain before you. I'm being manipulated, nudged in the direction of Immanion."

Ferminfex shook his head. "Oh think, Cal! It can't be Cora. From what you've told me, it's obvious she, or even the girl who lives with her, isn't that far advanced. I'm talking about an incredibly powerful human mind. No, you're wrong about the Gimrah. They have no part in this."

"Then who has?"

He shrugged helplessly. "I can't tell you that. What we've got to remember is that there are powers in this universe stronger than Wraeththu, stronger even than Thiede. Cal, there is more to this than meets the eye. You've got to learn the real reason why it's so important for you and Pellto be reunited. I don't think Thiede revealed more than he had to. I'm only acting on hunches, but ..."

"If I don't black out and lose all this information again!"

"That won't happen."

"Don't be so sure. It's happened before, in Galhea. My mind blotted out crimes I'd committed, Pell's death, everything. It took a blast of power to clear the blocks. Seems I did the same over my imprisonment; I can't trusl myself. My machinery is faulty, somewhere."

Ferminfex didn't agree. "Have you ever thought that is precisely what you're supposed to think. It's obvious why you couldn't tell people; you were prevented from doing so. Hypno-suggestion, mind coercion, any number of ways."

"Then why could I tell you?"

"If Thiede put the block on you, but somebody or something else is behind all this, nudging you to Jael, then maybe the time was right for ... God, I don't know! It's beyond me!"

"What is all the secrecy for then? Why can't I be told? Surely it's just wasting time."

"Mmm." Ferminfex leaned back in his chair and screwed up his eyes in thought. "You're on a journey," he said. "Self discovery? Maybe. Or something more? I agree that you are being driven in certain directions . . ." He sat up. "The message you had, what was it again?"

"Beneath the mountains of Jaddayoth. Is that referring to caves' or a grave do you think?"

"Neither. I believe it's referring to Eulalee, an underground kingdom, home of the tribe of Sahale. Clearly, you've got to go there "

"And if I don't?"

Ferminfex made an exasperated noise. "Look, how can you fight when you don't even know who the enemy is? Don't be ridiculous. Go along with this for a while with your ears and eyes open. The huyana in Jasminia spoke of preparing you for something. He spoke of messages. You've got to face it, don't you see? And look at things another way too. How about Pell? He must know that a relationship with you is impossible at the moment, except under the most excruciating terms. What Thiede says he's demanding is like the demands of a child, and Pellaz-har-Aralis is far from a child, I can tell you! Perhaps Pellaz is being manipulated too. Think about it."

I let myself slump over the table, sighing. "I don't want this. I don't want any of this!"

"Of course you don't," Ferminfex soothed. "You want to make a life in Ferike with my son, don't you? Shall I give my permission for that? Will you do it if I ask you to?" We stared at each other. I shook my head and smiled. "Wait until the spring," Ferminfex continued. "You have plenty of time. We'll talk about this again."

So, it was settled. Come the thaw I would ride into the Elhmen; the only known route to Eulalee. I didn't know what I would find there. Coming out of Ferminfex's study that day, I felt ravished, but renewed. The boil had been lanced at last. That night, I dreamed of Pell, but he was far away.

What He Learned from the Water

"Though lovers be lost, love shall not"

—Dylan Thomas, And Death Shall Have No Dominion

Life in Jael is conducted at a leisurely, sedate pace. Every morning, the family gathers together for breakfast, and in the evening for dinner. There are two separate rooms for this. Panthera now has two brothers, one hosted by Lahela, one by Ferminfex. There are also uncles and cousins, and cousins' cousins. Everyone carries the refined, attenuated features of the family Jael. Only Panthera, his hostling and his brothers have more of a sensual, languid Kalamah caste to them. Lahela told me he suspects Panthera and I have some kind of relationship (Lahela's italics!). Tactfully put, I suppose. Lahela still knows nothing about what happened to his son in Piristil. Because of this, I don't let on either way if his suspicions are true or not. The sun always seems to shine in Ferike. Every morning, we wake to another frosting of snow upon the trees and in the yard, but all day the sun reflects with hard, crystal brilliance off the land.

One evening, hara from a neighbouring castle came to dine with the Jaels. It was an elegant affair. After the meal, we all sat and listened to some of Panthera's relatives play music in one of the large drawing-rooms. Hara conversed with me in hushed, intellectual tones. I heard one or two disparaging remarks about the Gelaming, which pleased me. Gelaming artists were accused of plagiarising Ferike works. Someone said to me, "The Gelaming strive for originality, wishing to shine at everything, and hoping, I would think, to attract the interest of the royal houses of Maudrah and Garridan, who will pay highly for works of art." The har sniffed eloquently.

I sensed an opportunity to pry. "Ah yes, the Maudrah! I have heard much about Ariaric, their archon."

"Hmm, a charismatic character."

"Was he born in Jaddayoth?"

The har smiled. "Born here? Do you know nothing? I doubt that any of the Maudrah were born here, and let me tell you, they aren't too keen to tell people just where they were born either!"

"Would the word Uigenna have anything to do with that?" I enquireddelicately, but it is impossible to be delicate using that particular word. My companion winced, drew back, and I realized I'd blown it; no more information would be forthcoming.

And so the weeks passed. I drifted into a womblike contentment; everything outside of Jael had taken on a dreamlike, insubstantial quality. The Ferike spend their time perfecting their artistic talents; painting, literature, music. I used those weeks to rewrite my notes neatly, but Kruin rapidly became bored, being more a creature of action. He was chafing to return home to Natawni. Panthera had closeted himself away in his studio, intent on making up for lost time. I saw him only at meal-times, and often, not even then. One morning, when I awoke, the snow was sliding from the trees and the long icicles hanging from all the windows were dripping into the yard. At breakfast, Ferminfex commented that the thaw had begun. Lahela spoke spiritedly about venturing once more into Clereness and beyond, to restock supplies.

I learned that very soon, representatives from other tribes would begin arriving at Jael to purchase items from all that the family had produced through the long winter incarceration. When I'd first arrived in Jael, I'd often been woken up at night by what sounded like a rhythmic thumping coming from under the ground. I'd been told that this was the printing press in the cellars of the castle. What was conceived in the high, airy rooms above was committed to paper down in the cellars. Pictures were also framed there. It was the workplace of the screen-printers, the potters, the sculptors. It wasn't just the family who were craftsmen in Jael. Panthera had painted me a picture of a dark forest, which I'd hung on my bedroom wall. Before falling asleep, I liked to stare into its haunting depths where the suggestion of secret life seemed to rustle. I would have liked to give him something in return, but I have never been much of an artist.

The thaw continued. A clear stream ran down the road from the castle; the bare branches of the trees were sprouting sticky buds. One day, Panthera suggested that now all the snow had gone, we should take a walk into the woods together. Kruin was too busy packing his things to accompany us; he was leaving soon. Panthera said he'd teach me how to draw. I didn't like to tell him he'd be wasting his time. We set off early in the morning, on horseback, which was my idea. Spring seemed to be creeping quickly over the land. The ground was damp and lush with new grass. Small, spring flowers were blooming around the trees, and sunlight came down through the high branches as we rode away from Jael. After a mile or so, we veered off the road and cantered up a steep bank of bracken-strewn peat. The colors were marvelous; so vibrant, as if they could only have come from an artist's palette. Panthera led me deep into the trees; these woods were like a second home to him. We dismounted and led our horses through clustering trees that ached with the most acid of greens.

"Let's stop here," Panthera said.

We had come to a fast-running brook, that cut a deep, chuckling channel between banks of mossy sand-stone. Branches dipped longing fingers into the water and the grassy ground seemed wreathed in a faint mist as the sun gently dried it out. We sat upon the bank and our horses began to crop the grass, tearing mouthfuls out by the roots, so sweet it was, so eager their desire for its taste. Panthera gave me a sheet of paper to draw on, but I lacked inspiration.

"Do you think that Astarth really does run Piristil now?" he asked me. It was the first time he had spoken of Fallsend to me since reaching Jael.

"Who knows?" I answered, because I wasn't really bothered.

"Why did he let us get away like that?"

"I don't know. Why do you care, Thea? It's over. Forget it."

"It'll never be over for me."

"OK, I'm sorry. You want a theory? Astarth wanted us to get away, he wanted us to be followed by Jafit, he wanted us to kill Jafit."

"Of course! You must be right, how stupid of me. With Jafit out of the way, Astarth becomes house-owner not whore."

"Seems likely, doesn't it. Although, in Fallsend Astarth could easily have bumped Jafit off and nobody would have raised an eyebrow."

"Don't count on that," Panthera said. "The musenda owners are all pretty close. Honor amongst thieves and all that. I don't think Astarth could have got away with anything too blatant."

"Oh well, so what! I hope he's happier now."

"I wonder if the others are though?" Panthera was concentrating very hard on whatever it was he was drawing. I'd thrown my paper and pencil down onto the grass.

"Look," Panthera said and handed me his sketches. Of course, they were of me.

"Am I really that emaciated?" I asked, rather appalled.

"Not on the outside, no," he replied, taking them back again. He looked thoughtful, put down his pen, and lay back on the soft ground, staring up through the branches above. "Cal, I've decided to accompany you into Elhmen," he said.

At first I made no response, but his look of inquiry was difficult to ignore. "There's no need," I said at length. "I've traveled alone most of the time."

"You don't know the country around here though."

"True, but I can follow instructions. It may be dangerous, Thea; I don't know. I've no idea what's waiting for me there. And I'm sure Ferminfex will not thank me if I take you away from home again so soon. He's worried about you. I don't think he'd like you to get involved with me any further."

"You're wrong!" Panthera argued hotly. "My father would expect me to go with you. After what you did for me, it's the only honorable thing to do.""Honor!" I laughed aloud. "That outmoded concept? Men used to die for honor, didn't they? We must live our own lives, Thea, make our own values. I don't want to endanger you."

"A more sensitive person than I might suspect you were insulting their courage, or indeed ability," Panthera said carefully. "Are you afraid I'll be a hindrance to you?"

"Don't be silly! You don't mean that! I just don't want to involve anyone else in ... well, whatever."

"In what?"

I didn't answer. Panthera sighed and sat up, resting his chin on his knees. "Don't you think it's about time you told me? You've spoken to my father about it, I know." I looked at him for a long time; the light patterns rippling off his face and neck, reflections from the water, his shaded green eyes. Oh Panthera, what I would give to have met you years ago! "Well?" he said.