The Worst Girlfriend in the World (28 page)

I nodded in agreement. Wasn’t quite up to smiling yet. I tried not to shiver as Francis jumped down from the bus along with a guy I vaguely knew from Saturday nights at The Wow. He always wore a trucker hat and a Nirvana T-shirt.

‘Olly, our driver slash roadie slash… what else do you get stuck doing?’ Francis asked.

‘Babysitting Louis and shoving his head out of the window if it looks like he’s going to vom.’ Olly dipped his head at me. ‘Aren’t you cold without a coat?’

‘Oh, I’m fine,’ I said but as soon as I spoke I realised that talking wasn’t a good idea. My voice caught on every word like it didn’t know how to behave when it wasn’t shouting out awful truths.

Olly turned away to open the back doors of the minibus but Francis peered at my face like he was counting how many open pores I had. ‘You all right?’

I shrank back, then realised I could blame my red-rimmed watering eyes on natural causes. ‘I told you I’m fine. It’s the early start. It’s a killer.’

‘Whatever.’ Generally I liked being friends with Francis, except now that he knew me it made him kind of perceptive about when I might be lying. ‘You had breakfast? Shall we drive up to the Diner to grab some coffee and a toastie?’

My stomach clenched at the mention of food but I was saved from having to answer by the arrival of three Desperadettes and two Desperadoes spilling out of a parentally driven people carrier.

‘Let’s do this thing!’ Kirsten exclaimed. She was very excited. I looked at Bethany and Lexy and realised my leather dress was a terrible mistake.

They were all wearing onesies, and though I would never wear a onesie outside the house, not even to go to the Spar for emergency chocolate supplies, I should have planned for this trip better. They all had huge holdalls and it was obvious they were going to change into their Desperadette outfits later on, whereas I was going to be stuck in a thin leather dress all day. Hadn’t even brought the bag I’d so carefully packed.

As it was, all three of them were staring at me. ‘You all right, Franny? You look a bit weird.’

This time I was saved from having to reply by another toot of a horn and I thought the day couldn’t have got any worse, but it just did. Pulling up in a dilapidated Ford Capri was Louis… and Alice.

Even in the midst of being furious with Alice, I had to admire her sheer, brazen cheek.

She had no truck in wearing a onesie either but was in another short black dress, bare legs and heels. Despite the ungodliness of the time, she was also in full warpaint: red lipstick and flicky eyeliner, which made my nostrils flare like an angry little bull because flicky eyeliner was my thing.

Alice didn’t seem to care that she was greeted by cool nods and tight little smiles from Thee Desperadettes. She barely acknowledged their presence and her glance skimmed over me like I wasn’t even there but she gave all the boys a flash of her smile, tongue coming out to moisten her bottom lip, that flirty fluttery thing she did with her eyelashes. No shame.

‘So, come on,’ Olly said and made shooing gestures towards the van. ‘Sooner we get going, the sooner we get to London.’

We climbed into the minibus and I didn’t even have the heart to roll my eyes along with Thee Desperadettes as Alice made a huge fuss about needing Louis to give her a hand into the bus while simpering, ‘But don’t you dare look up my skirt while you’re doing it, you gigantic perv!’

It didn’t take long to reach the motorway. I watched the green blur of endless fields and hedges as we tootled along the M6 in the slow lane because Olly said that the van made a weird grindy noise if he went above sixty miles per hour. I sat next to Bethany in the back of the bus. She was asleep, her head on my shoulder. Anyone who looked over would think I was also asleep but my eyes were open just a sliver so I could see where Alice was sitting by herself. Not that she cared, because Louis was sitting in the seat in front of her with Francis and they’d both turned round so they could chat to her. She was doing that thing where she pressed her tits together with her elbows to make them look ginormous and I couldn’t believe that everything Louis and Francis said was so hilarious that Alice had to make an annoying tinkling sound that I guessed she thought was a sexy laugh.

I couldn’t blame Louis, creature of impulse that he was, for being captivated by all that Alice was currently offering, but I was disappointed with Francis. I’d hoped he was too smart to be swayed by Alice’s boobs. But no, he was like every other boy in Merrycliffe.

We stopped at a service station just before the M6 became the M1. Now instead of feeling like I’d die if I tried to eat something, I felt like I’d die if I didn’t. Also, they had Starbucks and Waitrose because even the most humble service station had more thrilling food options than the whole of Merrycliffe. I climbed back into the bus clutching something called a Caramel Macchiato, which was bigger than my face, and a sausage buttie.

Thee Desperadettes, now changed out of onesies into their usual skater dresses, had taken over the front seats so they could chat to Olly and have control of the music. Two Desperadoes were crashed out at the back of the bus. I took the seat that I’d had before.

Louis and Francis were the last to climb into the van. Francis smiled and gestured at the empty space next to me and I really wanted to leech some of his calm, maybe even tell him a little bit about what had happened. He’d give me good advice and he was bound to know someone in London that I could crash with but…

‘Hey! Franny B! Let’s be bus buddies!’ Louis had already slipped into the seat next to me, forcing me towards the window because he was all arms and legs and took up a lot of space.

It was just what I needed to take my mind off, well, everything. Louis chattered away about how he hoped that there’d be a lot of A&R men at the gig in London and how maybe even some other bands might be there. Really well-known bands.

‘Do you think?’ I asked, because that would be cool. ‘Like who?’

‘Well, no one really, really famous,’ Louis amended. ‘See, the thing is that really famous people don’t go out on the weekend. They go out during the week when there’s less chance of them being spotted.’

I wasn’t sure that was true and I heard Francis snort from where he sat somewhere behind us but it was lovely to have Louis all to myself and to get one up on Alice, who was sitting all by herself across the aisle. Besides, I’d forgotten how pretty Louis was; how blue his eyes were, his cheekbones like geometry and his lips… They were always in motion as Louis talked and talked. I wondered what they’d feel like on mine.

It was lovely to experience all these familiar tingles instead of fear and shame and abject terror. ‘I’m so glad you’re part of the gang now, Franny,’ Louis exclaimed happily.

‘Me too. But maybe I want to be more than just part of the gang,’ I added bravely because what the hell. I had nothing to lose. ‘If you know what I mean.’

Louis nodded. ‘Yeah, absolutely!’

Then he took my hand. The fluttery sensation I used to get whenever he was near wasn’t as fierce as it used to be, probably because I don’t think Louis had had time to shower that morning and he smelled kind of pungent. ‘You’re not like other girls.’

A genuine thrill ran through me, especially when Alice shifted in her seat then looked right at me. I knew she was listening to every word. ‘Well, some girls can be so obvious, can’t they?’

Alice narrowed her eyes. I’d never noticed what small, piggy eyes she had before. ‘Yeah, but it’s also because you’re kind of odd,’ Louis told me. ‘Like all those really weird clothes you wear. I don’t get it but Francis says that if I understood anything about fashion I would.’

It wasn’t what I wanted to hear but I could work with it. ‘They’re not
that
weird, but compared to what some Merrycliffe girls wear, they’re quite —’

‘Like, most girls would wear a leather dress and they’d look really sexy but you don’t,’ Louis said. Immediately I wanted to rip off my leather dress and never see it again. I’d die rather than make myself look tarty but I wanted Louis to think I had
some
sex appeal. ‘You look… like you’ve never got any touch before.’

The urge to cry was overwhelming. I blinked.

‘Jesus, Louis, do you ever engage what few brain cells you’ve actually got before you open your mouth?’ I heard Francis say sharply and Louis protested that he’d been paying me a compliment because ‘I was saying that Franny never looks like she gives it up that easily.’

‘You can say that again.’ Alice leaned forward so once more we could all see down her dress. ‘You don’t give it up at all, do you, Franny?’

‘Shut up,’ I hissed in that gap between songs so the bus was silent and everyone could hear. ‘I’m not even talking to you.’

‘Franny’s never even been kissed.’ I wanted to rip the smile of smug satisfaction off of Alice’s face with my bare hands. ‘How is it possible that you can get to sixteen and not have got off with someone?’

‘Maybe it’s because I’m not a —’

‘Hang on, there was the fugly guy with the mullet when we went on the exchange trip to Poland, but oh yeah, he preferred me, didn’t he?’ Alice glanced over at Louis, who wore a look of utter bemusement like he didn’t have a clue what was going on. ‘Story of your life, Franny, isn’t it? They always prefer me.’

‘That’s because you’ve got big tits and you shove them into everyone’s face,’ I told her furiously. There was a nervous giggle from the front and a sharp intake of breath from behind me. ‘You’ve got off with pretty much every boy we know, so if I’m tight what does that make you?’

Alice reared up in her seat so she could jab one rigid finger at me. ‘At least I’m not some frigid cow with no tits who’s as moody as her mum. You’ll probably end up having a total nervo like her too. And have you ever thought that maybe you chickened out of taking your GCSEs because you knew you were too bloody stupid to pass them?’

Alice couldn’t have gone there because no one with a heart would have gone there. We hated each other but there was still an echo, a memory of the friends we used to be, that meant that some secrets we’d shared were sacred. Not any more, apparently.

But I had no comeback. I simply sat there opening and shutting my mouth. Louis patted my hand. ‘There, there,’ he said. ‘No one thinks you’re mental.’

I shook his hand away and before I turned to stare out of the window with eyes that stung from the effort of holding back tears, I caught sight of Alice. She’d sunk back on her seat and she didn’t look defiant or angry any more, but small and scared, the way she used to when we’d been caught doing something heinous like taking biscuits out of the tin without asking or smearing our faces in her mother’s make-up.

I’d have given anything to go back to then.

It took another hour to reach Camden. No one said a word, not even Louis, though he kept shooting everyone these anxious looks as if the terrible atmosphere was like nothing he’d ever experienced before and he was totally out of his depth.

At one point, as we passed a sign that should have thrilled me because it said
Central London 6 miles
, I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder.

It was Francis sitting behind me. He didn’t say anything but kept his hand on my shoulder, his fingers resting in the deep groove of my collarbone, but even that wasn’t enough to stop the roaring in my head and the darkness that was welling up in me, trying to suck me under.

Maybe I
was
having a nervo.

Or maybe I just couldn’t bear to be trapped in this minibus any longer with my former best friend who was now my arch-nemesis, my deadliest enemy, the one person I’d hate beyond all measure for the rest of my life.

The silence broke as we reached Camden and inched our way along streets thronged with traffic and more people than could possibly be contained in one place. The girls were jabbering excitedly, there was uproar as we passed the covered stalls of the market and panic from Olly because apparently we were stuck in a one-way system that he couldn’t get out of.

All I was waiting for was the magic moment when the van pulled into the kerb and Olly turned off the engine.

I didn’t wait for anyone else to move – I climbed over Louis, who yelped in surprise when he got my elbow in his face – and shot out of the door that Olly had just opened.

‘What’s the rush?’ he asked in surprise.

I was just about to jump down on to the pavement but I paused so I could turn and stare at Alice. ‘You are the nastiest, skeeviest slutbag I’ve ever met and that’s why you have no friends and I never want to see your skanky face again,’ I spat at her.

If I was as cool as I thought I was, I’d have said something way better than that but it still had the desired effect. Alice stared at me. Then, as if I’d flicked a switch, her face, which was always going to be beautiful and not skanky, crumpled up like a discarded tissue and she burst into tears.

‘Franny…’ someone called, I think it was Francis but I wasn’t staying to find out. As soon as my feet hit the ground, I started to run.

I stumbled fast and forward, not quite running any more because there were too many people in the way. It was easy to get pushed one way and pulled another, past a cinema, past a Gap, another Starbucks and come to rest by a bus stop, as a bus pulled up and the doors opened.

‘Franny! Wait!’

I got on the bus without thinking. The doors shut behind me. It was that easy. Or it was until the driver told me off for not knowing what an Oyster card was, then charged me an unbelievable two pounds forty pence fare.