The Well-Spoken Woman (14 page)

For women, our wardrobe choices are infinite, yet finding comfortable and smart-looking suits and shoes is sometimes nearly impossible. The fashion industry seems to conspire against us, pushing trendy, seasonal items. There are many traps: toe-crunching shoes, revealing necklines, clingy knits, and low-waist pants.
Functionality
is not a word generally associated with women's wear. If the industry paid more attention to a woman's needs, there would be more pockets in pants and jackets, and cute shoes would be comfortable.

Test-Drive the Outfit

Plan the speaking outfit in advance so you aren't caught in a bind: “It's the night before, and the dry cleaner is closed.” Slacks with a stain or a skirt with a ripped hemline are more apparent when you are standing front and center. The likelihood that you can pick up a blouse in a flattering color that fits the day of the event is slim to none. Never wear a new outfit for the first time on the day of an important presentation. Take it for a testdrive by wearing it to another event when you are not the featured speaker. The “day of” is not the time to discover the pants weren't taken in properly or that the jacket is constricting.

A skirt that is slightly short when you are standing can ride up too far and expose the thighs when you are seated. If you find yourself in this revealing situation, the best recourse is to cross your ankles and pull both feet under the chair. This will reduce the amount of leg that is visible to the audience. Wrap and slit skirts are trouble because they tend to fall apart as soon as you sit down. It is more difficult to make a substantive point when your skirt keeps sliding open. Audiences may also interpret fidgeting with clothes as nervousness.

A petite economist wore a favorite blazer that was at least two sizes too big. She thought the jacket made her appear more authoritative. The opposite was true, she looked shrunken inside the droopy shoulders and toolong sleeves. Also, don't try to hide extra pounds with extra material. Clothes that are too big make you look heavier. If you have recently lost or gained weight, try on everything. Are there items that can be salvaged with tailoring? Purge or donate to charity clothes that are too large and too small. Alternatively, tailoring is an investment that can save money in the long run. You get more mileage out of comfortable clothes because they feel good and you will want to wear them.

Step 2: The Well-Suited Uniform Rules

Stage-ready clothes and accessories don't have to be budget busters, but no suit is worth the price tag if it is too tight, too short, or the wrong color. Since women are targets for endless fads, it is penny-wise to know how and where to invest wardrobe dollars. Follow the well-spoken woman's uniform rules below to avoid blowing your clothing budget on choices that aren't stage ready.

Uniform Rules

• Clothes must fit:
  Well-tailored clothes hide body flaws. If you've put on weight, a well-fitted suit can do wonders to conceal extra pounds. A poor fit can accentuate problem areas.
  
• Cover up:
  Visible cleavage or thighs send mixed signals.
  
• Be audience-appropriate:
  Don't disrespect the audience by being caught underdressed. You can always take a jacket off.
  
• Be event-appropriate:
  Plan as carefully for the company retreat in July and the holiday dinner in December as you would for the April board meeting.
  
• Express a subtle personality:
  A distinctive jacket cut or a flattering piece of jewelry makes a better statement than tiger prints and sequins.
  
• Have great hair:
  If it has been a while since you visited a good salon, get a contemporary, flattering style that doesn't hide your eyes or fall in your face.
  
• Support “the girls”:
  You don't need to shrink wrap yourself in Spandex, but when was the last time you were measured for a bra?
  

Step 3: Event-Ready Wear

Without fail, the room temperature will either be too hot or too cold. Layering gives you options. You can leave the jacket off until it is your turn to speak. Be sure the top underneath is professional. Short sleeves are okay, but avoid tank tops and other sleeveless options. If you perspire heavily, wear thin layers to cover up wet spots. Also, avoid shirts that have to be tucked into your pants or skirt. They bunch, wrinkle, and dampen with perspiration. Try a shorter tunic style or shell that doesn't require tucking—it will be cooler and won't wrinkle. A man's-style dress shirt with buttons can be unflattering if the fit is too tight across the bustline, resulting in gaps.

A fitted dress with sleeves is not the best option if you will use a lavalier microphone because there is nothing to attach the clip to. A suit with pants or skirt is better because the battery pack can be attached to the waistband. If wearing a suit, one in a solid color will be more slimming. If you are wearing separates of mismatched colors, the jacket should be the lighter or brighter color, and the bottom should be in a darker color. If you normally wear high heels, assess how comfortable they will be after you stand in them for an extended period. It might be wise to wear a lower heel and make arrangements to have a podium to stand on.

Wrinkle Busting

Road warriors logging thousands of airline miles will get their money's worth out of better-quality suits. If you travel frequently, don't hesitate to invest in outfits that can withstand the rigors of airport delays and a crammed suitcase. The wrinkles will fall out overnight in a suit made of a high-quality fabric, a bargain in the long run. Also, blends of synthetic fibers with wools, cottons, and silks help clothes go the distance. Another great investment for travelers is a three-season raincoat with a hood.

Expect spills, drips, and stains of every sort. Dark colors are better at hiding accidents. It is always a good idea to bring a backup blouse and pantyhose. Checked luggage disappears all too frequently, so carry on a small bag with makeup and grooming essentials.

Special-Occasion Dressing

The association where you work is honoring Angelina Jolie at its annual awards luncheon, and you have been asked to introduce the movie star. An Aspen resort is the site for a meeting to pitch your services to wealthy high-tech entrepreneurs. The temperature is expected to be a sweltering 95 degrees, and you must walk in an Independence Day parade. You will give an acceptance speech at a gala sponsored by a large charitable organization.
Good Morning America
would like you to appear in the studio with George Stephanopoulos to discuss your research. The company's annual retreat will be held at a conference center in a national park, and you will give a motivational talk to senior staff.

Don't let these special-occasion events cause last-minute panic because you don't have anything suitable to wear. These are not the events where you want to show up wearing that old navy suit. The higher you rise up the ladder, the more opportunities you will have to appear in the media and to network at high-profile gatherings. It takes time to build a professional wardrobe. If you haven't a clue about what to wear, then seek help so you can avoid the fashion disasters below. Enlist the help of a personal shopper to figure out what is best suited to your body type and the occasion. Most major department stores provide the service free of charge.

STANDING OVATION POINT:
IMPRESSION MANAGEMENT IS IN YOUR HANDS

First Lady Michelle Obama arrived in Copenhagen two days before her speech to the International Olympic Committee. From the moment she stepped off the plane, she was caught in a whirlwind of activities—lobbying, visits to the royal family, formal dinners, and Olympic committee meetings. Despite the hectic pace, the First Lady scheduled four practice sessions in fewer than forty-eight hours. Amid the hubbub, those focused sessions provided the quiet time she needed to prepare herself for her speech.

The last rehearsal was at 6:00 a.m. on the day of the event. The hour was early, but the setting was elaborate. A limo picked me up at my hotel for the ride to the ambassador's residence where the First Lady was staying. We worked in a glass-enclosed porch near the swimming pool and manicured gardens. When the First Lady came downstairs, she was in full hair and makeup but dressed for comfort in capri pants and ballet slippers. She would put on the designer gown selected for the occasion just before leaving for the event. By managing her schedule and making time for multiple practice sessions, she made sure the final run-through was not a pan-icked rush filled with last-minute changes. Rather, it was a chance to calmly review the text and read it aloud so it would be fresh in her mind
when she delivered it later that morning. And she did a superb job, as CNN so glowingly reported.

If you are going to give a big presentation, it is imperative that you schedule extra practice time. Otherwise, the days leading up to the occasion slip away, and the night before, you find yourself unprepared. Block off several hour-long slots for writing, editing, and rehearsing. After the speech, the learning shouldn't stop. Schedule another hour to review a tape of the presentation. Taking the time to watch how the performance unfolded will help you pinpoint any habits that need to be ironed out.

Coach Summitt devotes considerable time to practice and to watching game tapes. Viewing videos is not limited to the players, as Summitt practices what she preaches by watching her own courtside performance. Seeing her-self in action caused Summit to realize that her demonstrative manner was sometimes over the top. It was clear she needed more balance between doling out criticism of player technique and paying compliments to motivate. Start getting yourself in shape with the champion stance and the well-spoken woman's playbook exercises. With taped practice and review, the new techniques will soon become second nature, and you will be taking victory laps.

 

A woman with a voice is by definition a strong woman. But the search to find that voice can be remarkably difficult.

—Melinda Gates, “Melinda Gates Goes Public,” October 2007

 

 

“W
hat if it was me? What if I was a woman who grew up in Malawi? What would I do? How would I begin to think about raising a child?” Melinda Gates says these are the questions that run through her mind as she travels the world working to end maternal and childhood death. The woman she was referring to was forced to deliver her baby on the side of a road after failing to reach a health clinic in time. She didn't make it because walking was her only means of transportation. Three hours later, when the woman and newborn finally reached the clinic, the baby was gasping for air and died shortly thereafter.

The story of the newborn riveted the audience that had gathered to honor Gates for her leadership as cochair of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. The evening was a special opportunity to hear directly from the woman who is a guiding hand of a foundation committed to “the belief that every human being has equal worth.” I was struck by the assured way she addressed the crowd of over one thousand gathered for the awards ceremony. Speaking without notes, Gates shared the purpose of what she says is the second act of her life. She is pouring herself into identifying what is doable in the fight to save lives so babies like the one in Malawi are not lost. In the process, she has emerged from the shadow of her husband and is being recognized as an articulate, compassionate voice of the world's largest private foundation. Gates says the decision to become a public role model came about as her daughters have grown up: “As I thought about the strong women of history, I realized that they had stepped out in some way.”
¹

Gates is speaking out in speeches and television interviews to reframe the conversation on global health. In 2009, the foundation launched a public awareness campaign called the Living Proof Project. The project's goal is to share the good news about the results being achieved through the foundation's investments in health. An integral part of the message strategy is to tell stories about programs that are working, like one called Kangaroo Care. Kangaroo Care saves low-birth-weight babies by simply wrapping them to the mother's chest. The skin-on-skin contact provides the newborn with access to heat, breast-feeding, and love.

The foundation's message strategy for the awareness campaign was designed to combat the generally negative tone of news media coverage about foreign aid. The media's focus on “problems, pessimism, and guilt” in foreign assistance has left the public misinformed about the impact of tax dollars overseas. Gates believes highlighting progress with optimistic stories about curing disease and eradicating poverty is a means to counteract the misperceptions. By highlighting the success of US-funded efforts, the foundation expects to be able to leverage more support from governments and other large philanthropic organizations worldwide.

STORYTELLING: WITH A POINT OF VIEW

An effective advocacy message is a story with a purpose. Think of strategic message development as storytelling on steroids. It is a way to package what you want to say into an accessible narrative that defines a problem and articulates solutions. It is more than informing or educating about a topic. It is about presenting a point of view that provides a context for an audience response, whether individual or collective. With storytelling, we
address the third of the three Vs of communication—the verbal. Along with vocal quality and visual style, the verbal or message content ensures you build a solid connection with the audience.

The fundamental principles that comprise an effective message are the well-spoken woman's five Cs of message development. These underlying principles ensure a message reaches a target audience and accomplishes its intended effect. The five Cs provide a foundation on which you can build a “message map.” The message map is a tool to create and articulate the right idea to the right audience at the right time. With a strategic message, it is possible to handle difficult situations such as delivering bad news and responding to tough questions. A message map clarifies thinking in advance so you know what to say, as well as what not to say. Sometimes what you don't say is all-important. A map prevents this scenario: you listen to the words coming out of your mouth and wonder: “What the heck am I saying? And how the heck am I going to get back on track?” With a message map, you will be much less likely to utter something you later regret.

It is nearly impossible to be a consistently strong messenger without a strategic message. In the summer of 2010, BP oil executive Tony Hayward struggled to communicate an informed, coherent response to the devastating oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. His initial misstatements about the size of the spill made him appear ill informed and out of touch. The handwriting was on the wall for his ouster when, attempting to say something sympathetic, he stated: “There is no one who wants this over more than I do. I would like my life back.”
²
Hayward's insensitive remark poured salt in the wounds of those who had suffered tragic losses and was evidence that he lacked a message that was focused and purposeful.

The Message Equation

Wouldn't it be nice if exactly the right thing to say would pop into your head when you most need it? The real magic of messaging is that you don't have to rely on divine inspiration or a message fairy godmother. You can use an equation with three elements that summarizes the core components of a strategic message. First, there is a clear statement of a position on an issue or policy. Second, the position needs to be supported by values that
are shared with the audience. Finally, the message must include an action step that specifies what the audience should do once they've heard the message. A message is a combination of ideas, beliefs, and deeds. It is the articulation of what you care about, why the audience should care, and what you are trying to accomplish.

The message equation should be structured to resonate with what the intended audience cares about by speaking to the values they hold. Values are the intrinsic beliefs we learn as youngsters and hold onto throughout life. Social science researchers have identified core values that make up commonly held belief systems. Phrases that resonate with many Americans are based on the primary values of fairness and equality. The Communications Consortium Media Center (CCMC) helps nonprofit organizations influence public policy debates by developing value-based messages. When we worked together on a campaign to advocate for raising the minimum wage, we used concepts such as “leveling the playing field” and “fair wages for hard work” to speak to deeply held beliefs.

A message grounded in shared values increases the likelihood that an appeal will be acted upon. Every ten years, the US Census Bureau undertakes the largest nonmilitary operation of the federal government:counting the population. The census count is used to redraw congressional district lines and to determine how federal funds will be allocated among communities. Locales with larger populations get a bigger slice of the pie. In 2000, I helped the bureau develop the message it used to motivate the public to take the time to fill out and return census forms. The collection of data was linked to the distribution of monies that could be used to fund programs such as disaster readiness, construction of new schools and roads, and resources for job training centers. Educating the public about how their community would benefit from federal resources helped increase the overall rate of return.

Values-based messages elicit strong audience responses:

• Wow! Did you hear that?
  
• Hmmm. I never thought of it that way before.
  
• That's not right! We've got to do something.
  
• Yeah! Sign me up.
  

Storytelling: What an Advocacy Message Is Not

An advocacy message is different from other types of messages. This chapter is not about developing a brand, creating advertising slogans, or writing an academic paper. Advocacy messages do share characteristics with other forms of communication, but they are not the same. Branding is a marketing concept that individuals and companies use to help us feel good about whatever they are selling. It is about setting a mood and creating an emotional attachment to the coffee we drink, the jeans we wear, and the politicians we support. We know Coke® “Is the Real Thing,” and President Ronald Reagan promised us “Morning in America, again.”

Effective branding captures the spirit or ethos of a product, but cleverly worded campaigns aren't enough when you need to communicate to broad audiences about complicated policies or to respond in a crisis. Toyota was celebrated for engineering reliable and environmentally friendly cars. That reliability was called directly into question with allegations of sticky gas pedals that caused the cars to accelerate mysteriously. It takes more than a feel-good campaign to address real-life calamities. The car maker needed specific answers to direct questions about what was wrong and what they were doing to fix the problem. “Does she…or doesn't she?” sold buckets of Clairol shampoo. But it wouldn't be much of an answer if a shampoo caused a woman's hair to fall out.

Conversely, a message is not a dissertation. Readers of academic writing expect that substantial research will have been conducted to compile the evidence used to argue in defense of a thesis. Conclusions are drawn based upon facts. There is a strong emphasis on following the stringent rules of formal grammar. Colloquialisms, humor, and slang are shunned. The spice and flavor of everyday conversation is edited out. All
advocacy messages should be fact based, but facts alone are not enough. Audiences tend to tune out scientists reciting data from competing studies, especially if the listeners do not understand the science. Messages are more convincing when connected to personal beliefs and convictions.

Similarly, a three-ring binder does not a message make. Too much information is not a good thing. When I signed on to help Lieutenant Governor Bev Perdue run for governor of North Carolina, I was handed a four-inch, three-ring binder. The binder contained background on every position and vote Perdue had taken over the course of her two decades in public service. It was an impressive display of comprehensive research, but it was not a tool that would prepare the candidate to answer questions during live televised debates.

The best-laid messages incorporate some of the elements from advertising campaigns and analytical writing. A savvy message will address primary values by using succinct, memorable language. It will be supported with research but be concise enough to fit on a five-by-eight-inch card. It is brief so that the audience is able to retain the essential points. When combined in the right mix, these ingredients prepare you to tell a story with a purpose.

Storytelling: Efficient Packaging

The storytelling approach avoids the glitz of a slogan and the glut of data overload. A story has a beginning, middle, and end. It takes the listeners somewhere. A good story makes them laugh, entices them to listen, and helps them learn something. A good storyteller draws the audience in through context, characters, and plot Audiences are familiar and comfortable with stories, as they are a part of everyday conversation. Stories can relax tensions and
open minds to new ideas. They are often unforgettable. Think about the stories you heard as a child and the timeless lessons they imparted.