The Wedding Date (33 page)

‘I always had you pegged as a pathetic goody-two-shoes.’ Katey-Louise has sidled up to me, removing herself from the danger zone of having to converse with customers. ‘But I was wrong. You’re a bad girl, Delilah James. Very, very bad. I like it.’ She picks up an individually packaged cookies and cream biscuit and tears into the foil. ‘I’m not sure why you cheated on your boyfriend though. He is gorgeous. If he dumps you, can you pass on my number?’

‘Ryan isn’t my boyfriend.’ I don’t know why I’m even wasting my breath on Katey-Louise. It’s Adam I need to convince.

‘Looks like Adam isn’t either.’ Katey-Louise bites into the biscuit and wanders away.

Adam refuses to speak to me unless absolutely necessary and our relationship isn’t deemed essential as far as he’s concerned. If it doesn’t concern Brinkley’s or biscuits or social media, he isn’t interested. We carry out our tasks for the day – running demonstrations of the rocky road bites, serving tea and biscuits and handing out leaflets and money off vouchers – but we don’t talk unless it’s vital, work-related requests. I’ve had enough of the frosty atmosphere by lunchtime so I take myself off to the lake with an individual tuna and sweetcorn pizza from a neighbouring marquee. Removing my trainers and socks, I settle myself on the grass, feeling the blades tickling my toes while I stare out across the water.

My pizza remains untouched as my stomach is too weighed down by dread to actually eat it. I know that I need to explain myself to Adam and make him see that he isn’t my ‘dirty bit on the side’. That I care about him despite my lies. I shouldn’t have lied to Adam, I know that. I shouldn’t have lied to anyone. It seemed like a good idea at the time but it has well and truly come back to bite me on the bum.

All will be well, I tell myself as I put my socks and trainers back on my feet. He’ll have to talk to me at some point and I’ll explain it all. Adam will see that although I’m foolish, I’m not a cheat. I dump my cold pizza in a bin and make my way back to the Brinkley’s stall. There are a few customers sitting at the tables and browsing our wares but Katey-Louise is nowhere to be seen. Adam is on his own and nobody requires his attention at the moment. Nobody but me.

I swoop upon Adam but before I can utter a word a familiar face looms into view, grinning at me as a cook book is thrust in my face.

‘Hello again!’ The owner of the B&B jangles the cook book. ‘He signed it! He’s so lovely, you know. And much more handsome in real life. It’s a good job I’m a happily married woman, eh?’ She giggles and slips the book into her Durban Food Festival tote bag and wiggles her fingers over our display. ‘Ooh, biccies! I love a custard cream. Do you have any?’

Adam backs away while I deal with the B&B owner. She buys a packet of our cookies and cream biscuits (the closest we have to a custard cream) and samples our new salted caramel shortbread.

‘I’ll be the size of a house by the time the festival closes. Not that I’m complaining!’ The owner slips the biscuits into her tote and gives it a pat. ‘I’m off to have a look at the jams. I bought a gooseberry and elderflower preserve last year and it was delicious. I’ll see you back at the B&B later.’ With wriggling fingers, the owner skips away from our stall but Adam is now busy serving tea and biscuits to a couple of old ladies and I don’t get the chance to talk to him until we’re back at the B&B that evening. Adam is reluctant to talk but he has no excuses now we’re away from the festival.

‘Please, Adam. Just listen to what I have to say,’ I plead as we reach the top of the stairs on our floor. If Adam locks himself in his room, I won’t get the chance to plead my case unless I shout it through the door, which I’m loath to do as I’ve embarrassed myself enough in front of Adam and Katey-Louise this weekend.

‘What is there to say?’ Adam’s tone is defeated as he reaches for his door handle.

‘The truth.’ I reach for Adam’s hand but he snatches it away as if he’s been burned. ‘Please, Adam. Five minutes, that’s all I ask. I’ll tell you everything and then you’ll understand that I’m not a bad person.’

Adam closes his eyes as he ponders my request. I hold my breath, waiting for his decision. It comes bursting out of my lungs as Adam gives the slightest nod of his head.

‘Five minutes.’

We head into my room, with Adam hovering by the window while I sit on the bed. It was only this morning that I woke up here with Adam but it feels like forever ago. That happy, content Delilah is nothing but a distant memory.

‘First of all – and this is the really important bit – Ryan is not my boyfriend.’ Adam, who has been gazing out of the greying net curtain, snatches his head around to face me, his eyebrows arched in challenge. ‘I know that’s not what it says on Facebook, but we planned it that way.’

‘We?’

‘Ryan and me.’ I can’t believe I’m having to come clean about this and I know the words will seem even more infantile when spoken aloud. ‘It was a silly idea but it suited us both to pretend we were together. Ryan wanted his mum off his back and I wanted to pretend I was over my ex. An old friend of mine is getting married in a couple of weeks and Ben’s going to be there with his fiancée. His pregnant fiancée. I just wanted him to see that I’d moved on too.’

‘By pretending to be with someone else?’ When Adam says it, it sounds ridiculous. Which, of course, it is.

‘Yes. I didn’t want to turn up at Francesca’s wedding looking like a loser. Ben dumped me and I was hurt and angry. I wanted to prove a point.’

‘So you’re not over him then.’ Adam doesn’t sound angry as he says these words. The thunderous look has gone but it hasn’t been replaced with his usual demeanour. Adam looks sad, resigned to the fact that I’m still in love with Ben. ‘You wouldn’t be so caught up with showing him that you’ve moved on if you were.’

‘But I am over him.’ I jump up off the bed as Adam moves towards the door but Adam gives a sad shake of his head.

‘I do understand, Delilah. And you’re right – you’re not a bad person. But you’re confused and still caught up on someone else and I can’t get involved in all that. Relationships are hard enough without all this added drama.’

Adam reaches out and gives my hand a squeeze before he slips out of my room and I know then that it’s definitely over.

Chapter 40

Returning Home

Text Message:

Mum:
Justin and I are on our way home from Aunty Liz’s. The journey takes 2 hours, which is plenty of time to put the house back in the state I left it in

Delilah:
It already is in the state you left it in!

Mum:
You only have 2 hours, Delilah. Prioritise cleaning over lying

I somehow endure the rest of the weekend with Adam. He’s back to acting friendly towards me, like we’re colleagues rather than ex-lovers, but I think I prefer the cold shoulder. At least then I knew there had been something between us. Now it feels like our relationship has been erased, as though we haven’t dated or slept together. Like I mean nothing to him other than a regular workmate. I could be Katey-Louise for all Adam cares. I only hope I’m slightly less annoying.

As soon as the festival comes to an end on Sunday evening, we pack up the van and head home. We checked out of the B&B this morning and our bags are waiting in the van. Adam drops me off at Ryan’s first, eager to get rid of me as soon as possible, no doubt.

‘No hard feelings, eh?’ Katey-Louise chirrups as I hop out of the van. Adam has already climbed out and is opening the back to grab my things.

‘I didn’t like you before this weekend so nothing’s changed as far as I’m concerned.’ Katey-Louise shrugs and leans forward to change the radio channel as I slam the van door shut. My blood is boiling. She plays a huge part in ruining my relationship with Adam and she thinks there are no hard feelings?

Although, to be fair, the lying and deception was all down to me.

Why does my subconscious have to be so bloody reasonable?

‘Here you go.’ Adam holds out my small suitcase without looking me in the eye but at least he didn’t dump it on the pavement and drive off without a goodbye, leaving me choking on exhaust fumes.

‘Thanks.’ I take the suitcase and place it on the ground. ‘I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.’ Extending the handle, I tug the suitcase towards the house but stop when Adam calls out my name. So help me if he says no hard feelings, eh?

‘I’m sorry it didn’t work out, you know. I think you’re great, I really do.’

‘Then why?’ I’m aware that Katey-Louise is watching us from inside the van. She isn’t even hiding the fact she’s having a good gawp. Her nose is practically pressed against the glass and I’m well aware of the tears snaking down my cheeks in full view of her.

‘You know why.’

‘Because of Ben.’ Great going, Ben Martin! You’ve managed to ruin my life twice. And you didn’t even try the second time round.

‘It’s not the right time. You need to have a clean slate before you start anything else. It only ends in disaster otherwise.’

I can’t argue with Adam. It has ended in disaster. Without another word, I slope into the house, praying Ryan has already left for the quiz. I’m supposed to be joining them later but I’m not sure I can face anything but my bed. Except my bed isn’t even here. I can pretend all I want but that room upstairs is nothing but Ryan’s office and dumping ground. I’ve taken it over for a while but it’ll never be mine.

Swiping away the tears with my sleeve, I let myself into Ryan’s house, dragging my suitcase with me.

‘Hey, you’re home.’ Ryan bounds into the tiny hallway, filling up the space with his body and spirit. He envelops me in a hug I can’t quite return.

‘Not really, but I think it’s time I did go home.’

‘What do you mean?’ Ryan asks. Leaving the suitcase in the hallway, I take Ryan by the hand and lead him into the sitting room. I can no longer pretend Adam doesn’t exist, so it’s time I came clean and untangled the lies I’ve told. How else am I supposed to explain why I’m devastated?

‘I’ve been seeing someone,’ I tell Ryan once we’re settled on the sofa.

‘I know.’ Ryan’s jaw sets and I can see suspicion in his eyes. Has Delilah really been away with work colleagues this weekend? Or has she been with him?

I shake my head. ‘No, you don’t. I haven’t been seeing Courtney. I made that up because I didn’t want to tell you the truth.’

Ryan’s brow furrows. ‘I don’t get it. Why tell me you’ve been seeing Courtney if you haven’t?’

‘So that you wouldn’t tell Lauren.’ I hold out a hand as Ryan begins to speak. I’m going off track and I’m about to land my best friend in it. It isn’t my place to blab to Ryan about Lauren’s feelings. ‘That isn’t important. The important bit is Adam.’

I tell Ryan everything about Adam; how we met, our dating, meeting Isaac and Luke. I tell him how much Adam means to me and that I saw a real future for us. A future that is no longer possible.

‘What happened?’

‘He found out about you.’

Ryan stands up and grabs his car keys from where he’s dumped them on the coffee table. ‘Let’s go and set the record straight then. Tell him it’s all false.’

I’m touched that Ryan would jeopardise his anti-matchmaking plan for me but it’s no use. ‘He knows. I told him everything.’

Ryan sits back down again. ‘So what’s the problem?’

‘Ben is. Adam says he can’t start anything with me when I’m still hung up on Ben.’ I drop my face into the palms of my hands. This is all such a mess. ‘Do you think I’m still hung up on Ben?’

Ryan looks at me as though I’ve sprouted an extra head. ‘Well, yes. What is all this for?’ He indicates the room, the house. Our fake relationship. ‘Isn’t it to show Ben that you don’t care about him any more, even though you do?’

‘I guess so. At least that’s how it started. Now I’m not so sure.’ My head is a jumble of thoughts and feelings and I don’t know what is real and true and what has passed. I need some time and space to think. ‘I want to go home, Ryan.’

So that’s what I do. Ryan helps me pack, insisting I take the smoothie maker, before he drops me off at Mum and Dad’s. He’s kind and soothing, which only manages to make me feel worse for scuppering his plans.

‘I’m sorry I’ve bailed out,’ I say as he pulls up outside the house. ‘Your mum’s going to swoop in with the potential mother of your children as soon as she finds out I’m back here.’

Ryan shrugs. ‘It would have come to an end in a couple of weeks anyway. But I am going to tell her you dumped me in the hope she gives me a few days to recover before she swoops.’

‘Good luck with that.’ I manage a sort-of smile before climbing out of the car and retrieving my bags from the boot, which Ryan helps me to carry to the door. ‘I don’t think I’ll make it to the quiz tonight. My head’s full of enough unanswered questions at the moment.’

‘Everything will be fine, you know.’ Ryan pulls me into a hug and I hope that he’s right. At this moment in time, it doesn’t feel like anything will ever be fine again. ‘And Ben doesn’t have to know any of this. We can still go to the wedding and show him how fabulous you are.’

‘Thanks, Ryan.’ I kiss his cheek before unlocking the door. I find Mum in the back garden with Clara. They’re making their way through a bottle of wine as they pore over books and magazines spread out on the table.

‘Hi, love. Grab a glass and join us.’ Mum picks up the bottle of wine and gives it a jiggle. ‘We’re looking at ideas for Clara’s wedding.’

My stomach drops at the word ‘wedding’. In less than a fortnight, Francesca will be getting married and I’ll have to pretend I’m loved up when all I want to do is bury myself under my covers and hibernate until the ache stops.

‘Is Ryan not with you?’ Mum asks when I return with a glass. I fill it almost to the brim.

‘No.’ I take a large gulp. ‘I’m here on my own. In fact, I’m moving back home if that’s ok with you.’

Mum gasps, dropping the magazine she’s been studying. It thumps onto the table, knocking into her glass of wine but Clara manages to right it just in time. ‘Oh, love. What’s happened?’ She elbows the bridal magazine away, as though the grinning bride will offend me. Which she does, the smug cow.